Growing Up Shaddix (Jimmy/Jacoby)

Thirty Two

After five (expensive) days in ICU, Jimmy was allowed to transfer to a regular floor. He wasn’t coming home any time soon, because he had quite a list of criteria for discharge to meet. Most concerned his understandable lack of appetite, but the big one was being able to walk the halls without oxygen and maintain a sat of 95% or better. That one is going to take a while, trust me. He can walk to the bathroom now (another condition of discharge is that he be independent in all areas of self care and able to walk on his own), but there and back tires him out. Therefore, no one has even attempted to walk him in the halls. For some reason, this bout of pneumonia is really kicking his ass.

Our house is slowly getting back to normal. Katie and Kelly went back to California once Jimmy transferred, since they still had to work. His parents and my aunt and uncle, however, opted to stay until he was home and I was grateful. The school year wears on and both girls need homework help, Priscilla needs rides to and from activities, etc., and I’m only one person. There’s also upkeep on the house and the fact that the weather turned to shit on us, so I need help with that as well.

“Coby, supper is ready,” Barb called upstairs, and I glanced at the clock on the computer. I’d been working on the budget (Jimmy’s not able to do it right now, of course) and hadn’t been watching the time.

I hurried downstairs, and saw that everyone was already gathered at the table. “I’m sorry, Barb, I lost track of time,” I said, looking around to see if I could help.

“No worries. We stayed to help and helping includes cooking and such. You had work to do, as did the girls, so I cooked. Think nothing more of it and sit down. Do you work tomorrow?”

I nodded, taking a serving of mashed potatoes. “I do. I’m going to check on Jimmy over lunch, since this weather keeps us busy.”

I accepted the platter of pork chops from JoAnn, then passed them on to Eliza. This felt like a real family meal and I liked it. That’s not to say that we don’t have real family meals anymore, but with the kids so busy with school stuff, we sometimes don’t get to sit down as a family and eat and it sucks.

“Thanks for making supper,” I told Barb and she laughed a bit, waving me off. I can’t help it, because I don’t normally shirk duties like that, but I suppose I should learn to let people help. “I appreciate all the help you guys have given me since you got here, even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes.”

Jo patted my hand (one of those mannerisms my mother also had; it seems to run in the family) and smiled. “We’re always glad to help, Coby. This is a busy time of year for you guys and with Jimmy out of commission, it’s only right that we pitch in. So, don’t think any more of it.”

“Thanks again. Before I forget, tomorrow night is the fall band and choir concert at the high school. The girls are in both, so if you want to go, I’ll give you directions to the high school. It starts at seven.”

“Aren’t you coming, dad?” Priscilla asked, and I could see the worry in her eyes. I overheard her talking to Katie one night and she’s afraid we won’t support her dreams anymore. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but I don’t want to let on that I heard.

“Of course. I just won’t be there right at the start. I have to work until 1915, so I’ll come right after. I had requested the day off, but since I had to rearrange some days to cover people who covered me, I have to work now.”

She said nothing, just resumed eating her food. I know she’s upset, though, because Jimmy and I pay close attention to the activity schedules. We make sure we have the evenings free so we aren’t late to stuff, and this will be the first time I’ve ever had to come late. I felt bad, but what could I do? I heard Priscilla mumble something and glanced at her.

“What?” I asked, trying not to sound upset; I think I heard what she said.

She shook her head, wiping her mouth. She was done eating and she stood up, ignoring my question and headed for the basement. It wasn’t long before an angry trumpet blast sounded and I hung my head. I’m 99% sure she said I shouldn’t bother coming if I was going to be late.

“Don’t worry, Coby,” Al said, once the tension had settled a bit. “We’re going to record the entire concert, so get there when you get there. You won’t miss all of it anyway.”

“No, but I’ll miss most of it,” I muttered, setting my fork down. “I get off work around 1915 or so and by the time I give report, clock out and make my way back up here, it’s nearly eight. The concert is only about an hour and a half long, since there are only two groups performing. I’ll just watch the video of it and visit Jimmy a bit longer. If she doesn’t want me there, then so be it.”

“I want you there,” Eliza said, her voice betraying her emotions. “I’m tired of that little punk ruining everything. It’s not your fault you have to work tomorrow night and I won’t have her getting her way once again! I’m tired of her and I want you there. I don’t care how much you miss, I don’t care if you show up at the very end, I just want you there!”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Eliza, that’s enough. Stop calling your sister names. I will be there if I can make it before the end of the concert and if not I’ll watch the video of it on my next day off, which is Friday.”

“Great,” she fumed, throwing her napkin down. Must we have so much drama at the supper table? “Great. Let her fucking win, then dad. I can’t wait until next summer when I finally move out of Priscilla’s house!”

Another teenager angrily stormed off to the basement, and more angry practicing sounded seconds later. At least my girls have an outlet, but I am about to my breaking point right now. I was finished eating and excused myself from the table, taking my keys from my pocket. The roads were good right now and I hoped they would stay that way. I need to cool off before I approach the girls and going for a drive is always what I need.

I didn’t get far, though, as I encountered Priscilla standing down by the storage shed and she looked like she was smoking. Now, my kids don’t smoke. They have seen what happens to smokers, even after they quit, considering their dad’s recent health problems and everything. That, and we’ve lectured them so often on the dangers that I was sure we had that problem avoided. Add to that I heard her talking to someone and I was not only angry, but curious. I went a bit closer, using the yard light to my advantage and was surprised to find it was not Randi this time.

“Alise?” I asked, giving myself away to my daughter as well. Both looked guilty as they stomped something on the ground, then stuffed their hands in their jackets. I hadn’t even heard the door open and close and I wonder now how often she’s snuck out like this. I’ve never found evidence of smoking anywhere, so they’re good at hiding it. “What are you two doing?”

“Nothing,” Priscilla said, and turned to head into the house, while Alise tried to sneak off. Sean P.’s daughter doesn’t come down much, as the girls have never really been close. Alise is a bookworm, left-brained girl compared to Priscilla’s flighty, right-brained personality. “I’m cold.”

“I bet you are,” I said, reaching for the little flashlight on my keys. I examined the ground, but whatever evidence there had been was gone. “I catch you smoking again, Cilla, and you’ll never be ungrounded. Is that clear?”

She nodded, as the girls parted ways. They knew they were caught, as I watched Alise get into her car and head back up the gravel. I’ll have to call Sean P. and tell him about this, so they can deal with her. She’s not supposed to be driving alone on her learner’s permit and her school permit is good for exactly that: school stuff. Of course, our gravel is never patrolled, so we get away with a lot out here, but this is a safety issue, especially in the winter.

“Damn kids,” I muttered, sitting in my truck. I opened the garage door and turned the engine over, blasting the heat while I dialed Sean’s number. A few rings later, he answered, and he sounded annoyed. “I take it Alise just got home?”

“Yeah. What’d she do? She’s all in a temper over you yelling at her.”

I explained the situation and my co-worker promised to deal with things; he did not sound impressed. I slowly backed out of the garage. I needed a drive and a drink, but since I won’t drink and drive, I knew where I needed to go.

I walked into Molly’s Bar fifteen minutes later.

“What can I get for you?” the night bartender, Jed, asked, smiling at me. He’s a young guy, going to college in Omaha.

“Pepsi, please,” I said, settling at the bar. I rubbed my face, listening as ice clinked into the glass.

“You look like you want something stronger,” he observed, setting the glass in front of me. I watched the little bubbles of carbonation as they danced on the ice and nodded.

“Yeah, but I have to drive home. My husband’s in the hospital, my kids are fighting and my family got to witness it all. If I come home drunk, that’s not going to be pretty.”

Jed nodded, his shaggy blond hair falling in his eyes. He reminds me of Jimmy when I first met him: tall, thin, shaggy hair. Jed has grey eyes to Jimmy’s blue but they could be the same person.

“Hey Cobs,” Molly said, coming from the back a few minutes later. She must have radar or something, because she’s always here when one of us comes in. “What brings you down here?”

“Kids,” I muttered and I heard Molly chuckle. “I’m going to adopt them out.”

She laughed at me. Molly actually laughed at me. Even a death glare from me couldn’t stop the laughter and I shook my head; I came here to relax and cool off before I strangled my children, not to be laughed at. I started to stand when Molly pointed to the back, where Jimmy usually sits. She was dead serious now and I didn’t bother to disobey.

“Now, all kidding aside, what’s wrong?”

I outlined the supper fight we’d had, watching Molly nod. She’s raised four kids of her own and had a lot of the same fighting go on with them as well. I know she’s going to give me advice but I didn’t come for advice; I’m not like Jimmy.

“I know you didn’t come here for advice, so I won’t give you any,” she told me. I nodded, grateful that she seemed to understand. “Just understand that this is normal for kids this age. You’ll cool off, you’ll deal with it and life will go on.”

I nodded, as she patted my shoulder and went back to the bar. I finished my pop, tossed a couple of dollars on the table and then left. It was time to deal with the girls, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

***

I returned home and found both girls downstairs, sitting and glaring at each other. Barb was standing in the middle of them and if I didn’t know better, I’d think steam was coming out her ears. I could only deduce that they’d been fighting, she’d handed down punishment (which we let her do), and neither of the girls was happy.

“What happened?” I asked, looking between my feuding teenagers; when will they grow out of this phase?

“She’s ruining my life!” Eliza complained, but was shushed by Barb. “It’s true, grandma!”

“I said no talking for ten minutes! You had two minutes left and now it starts over. No talking for ten minutes!”

She had a timer in her hand, I realized and watched her reset it. She was clearly angry and I decided to leave her to it. After all, she raised three kids and brought two girls through their teen years…and yes, she does have a lot of grey hair and a few wrinkles, but she also has two very mature adult women on her hands.

“I guess you saw the scene in the basement?” Joe asked, as I made my way into the kitchen. I shed my jacket and tossed it over a chair, nodding. “They really got into it after you left. I thought they were going to come to blows, but Barb got there in time. There’s a lot of resentment between those two.”

I sighed, rubbing my face. “I know, and I don’t know how to fix it. I suppose we’ll just have to do what we can and see what happens.”

Of course, that was a lame answer to a serious problem. I don’t know what we’ll do and I don’t know what will happen. But if they make it through the school year in one piece, that’s a good start.

Thirty Three

Ugh. If you look up the word miserable in the dictionary, I’m pretty sure my picture will be there. How I got out of ICU already is beyond me; I have a feeling I’ll be headed back soon. I’m not ready for a medical floor, that’s for sure. These poor nurses are practically sitting in the room with me because my breathing becomes erratic so quickly. I simply cannot breathe, and just walking to and from the bathroom is enough to knock me on my ass.

“Can I help you?” the voice of my tech for the day, Kelsey, filtered through the little nurse call speaker, but I couldn’t speak. “Can I help you?”

Since I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t answer and the nurse call clicked off after a few seconds. I was starting to panic, as I’m sure you can understand. Kelsey has not been a good tech and won’t come if I can’t talk. I hit the nurse call again, hoping for Adri, my nurse, but got Kelsey again. She didn’t quite click it off soon enough, though, because I could hear her speak.

“I think he’s confused; he keeps hitting his nurse call, but he never speaks. Probably doesn’t know what it is, so I’m not going in there.”

Great. I can’t breathe and I have the tech from hell. Now would be a great time for Adri to just wander in on rounds or something. Of course, that didn’t happen, so I hit the nurse call again. This time, Adri’s voice came over the speaker and I tried to speak. Instead, it came out as a sort of croaking wheeze and I gave up.

“I’ll be right in Jim.”

I was relieved to hear that, as I’m on the verge of passing out here. The door opened seconds later and I noted the panic on Adri’s face. She hit the code button, since that’s probably faster and I finally gave up and passed out.

***

“Fuck. I told Dr. Sullivan it was too soon, but did she listen? No! Of course not!”

Jacoby appears to be awfully worked up over something. I blinked my eyes open and looked over at him; then I started choking.

“Jimmy, Jimmy, just breathe for a moment, okay? You’ve got a breathing tube down your throat, because you coded upstairs. Let me get your nurse.”

I tried to stay calm, but it’s hard when there’s a small plastic tube down your throat. I really want to know what’s going on here. I’ve been in the hospital for almost a week and I’m not really getting any better. The exacerbation cleared, but pneumonia should be done and over with by now.

Having a breathing tube removed is never fun and this time was no exception. Once the tube was out, I took a drink of water and then demanded some answers from my nurse.

“What’s going on?”I croaked out, my voice nearly gone. “I’ve been here almost a week and I’m not getting over this fucking—pneumonia!”

Jacoby rubbed my shoulders a bit to calm me down, for all the good it did. I was panting, short of breath, but I wanted answers. After this long under treatment, I should be in 10 times better shape than I am right now.

“Dr. Sullivan will be in shortly,” the man said, and I growled as best I could. I was displeased with his answer and I wanted him to know. “The doctor has the answers.”

“No,” I panted, shaking my head. I tried to catch my breath, though that was nothing short of pointless. “I want—Dr.—Callahan. NOW.”

Jacoby kept rubbing my shoulders, as the nurse sighed. “Honey, Dr. Callahan is retired. He’s not on your case and you know they’re not going to pull him out for this.”

“I want—my—real—doctor. Now.”

That was about the end of my air, and I watched Jacoby’s hand go for the dial for the oxygen. I was getting lightheaded and seeing stars as my vision clouded over. I knew I was going to pass out again, but I was determined to stay awake. The hissing in the mask over my nose and mouth increased in volume, but it wasn’t quite enough. I was out of breath, my ranting depleting the little supply I’d had to begin with.

“I’m sorry, Jimmy, but Jacoby is right. Dr. Sullivan has been called and will be here soon.”

I shook my head, as my mom approached the bed. She also tried to calm me down, but it wasn’t working. I wasn’t happy with my treatment and I have the right to request a different doctor.

“I-want—Dr.—Callahan,” I whispered at her, feeling sweat bead up on my forehead. I need air! “I—I—can’t—breathe.”

“Then don’t talk,” Jacoby snapped at me, and I knew he was annoyed with me. “Dr. Sullivan will be here and she will tell us what happened.”

I shook my head again, reaching for the pad of paper and pen that were always handy, I wrote a shaky note, as Dr. Sullivan walked in. Showing the note to Jacoby, he just crumpled it up and shook his head.

“She’s here, so listen to her.”

I shook my head again, writing the same note. I want Dr. Callahan. I want him right fucking now.

Jacoby didn’t even look at my note while the doctor spoke. I didn’t listen to the doctor, because at this point, she doesn’t know what she’s doing. For one thing, why did she intubate a pneumonia patient? Doesn’t she know that can exacerbate pneumonia? I realize I had apparently stopped breathing but clearly it didn’t last, since I don’t have the tube in me now.

“Jimmy?”

I looked up angrily, flashing my note at Dr. Sullivan. Jacoby took it before she could read it, though, and pocketed the pad. I flipped him off, letting everyone know how angry I was; I’m of sound mind and body and therefore able to make my own medical decisions. I know everyone is upset with me, but too bad. It’s my health, and I am my own best advocate.

“I’m not sure what your note said, hon. But it appears that you had mucous blocking your airway. That caused you to code, because the problem was not addressed fast enough. We’re investigating why it took so long for you to help, because this has never happened on fourth floor before. I’m going to keep you overnight in ICU and if all is well, you’ll go back to fourth floor tomorrow.”

That really pissed me off. For one thing, a blockage of mucous does NOT cause a patient to code. There has to be an underlying cause and I have to say I don’t trust this doctor anymore. “No,” I rasped out, wishing my voice were stronger. “No.”

“Do you remember what happened?” the doctor asked, and I nodded. I might not like her right now, but I’ll gladly turn in that bitch Kelsey. “Tell me.”

Jacoby handed me a clean sheet of paper, causing me to flip him off once again. She’s going to know my wishes before she leaves and that’s all there is to it. I started writing, and finally showed the doctor the note.

Kelsey ignored me. I wrote. I called for help multiple times, but since I couldn’t talk, I was ignored. I finally got my nurse to answer and she came in right before I passed out.

Jacoby looked at me and then sighed. “Jimmy, no one ignored you.”

I just can’t win tonight. Or today. Whatever the hell it is. “Fuck—you. You—weren’t—there.”

“He’s right, Jacoby,” my dad said, before my husband could respond. “You weren’t there and you can’t say for sure what did or did not happen.”

“I know that. But this is Creighton and they give top-notch service. No one would ignore a patient, just because they couldn’t speak. It’s protocol to go investigate whether there’s a verbal response or not.”

“She—said—she wasn’t—coming—in.”

I hate not being able to breathe. I still remember what she said, and I wrote that down, too. Needless to say, Dr. Sullivan looked shocked.

“I’ll have this investigated, Jimmy. In the mean time, I’ll have you monitored down here over night and we’ll see how things go.”

Now was my chance, as she turned to leave. “I—want—Dr.--…” but she was out the door. My voice just wasn’t strong enough and I started crying. This is not a good time to be emotional, but no one is listening to me and I have no way of making my wishes known.

“Jimmy, this is childish,” Jacoby snapped but I didn’t listen. “Oh for heaven’s sake. You can’t have Dr. Callahan and that’s all there is to it. Now grow up and calm down.”

“No,” I sobbed, trying once again to catch my breath. An alarm sounded (probably related to my sats) and my nurse returned, clearly annoyed. “Go—away.”

Jacoby shook his head, as the nurse worked with my oxygen. I pointed to my nurse and started to speak, but Jacoby got there first. “No, you stay. Jimmy you need to calm down. Dr. Sullivan knows what she’s doing and this was clearly an error on the floor. You’re not going to act like a big baby over not getting your way.”

I glared at my husband, fed up with him. “Jack—get—out—of—here.”

His mouth dropped open and I pointed a shaking finger at the door. With hurt in his eyes, he turned and left, my mother hurrying after him. I know it wasn’t right, but he’s being a bitch and I need to advocate for myself. My nurse looked anything but thrilled and I was sure a lecture from dad was in the books for the night. I just want people to listen to me, that’s all; I can make my own decisions and I know what I want.

“You need to calm down,” my nurse instructed me sternly and I realized I don’t even know the guy’s name. “You’re sats are low and you’re about to go into distress again. You were already on the vent for three hours; you don’t want to do that again.”

Well, that answers that question. When I had calmed enough for the nurse, my dad sighed, looking at his watch. The clock on the wall said it was five thirty and a glance outside confirmed that to be at night.

“Your mom and I need to head back to Mondamin and Jacoby needs to get back to work. The girls have their concert tonight, since the weather fouled it up last night. Try to stay calm, Jimmy, and understand that we only want the best for you, okay?”

I nodded, wishing I didn’t have to miss the girl’s concert, but some things can’t be helped. Jacoby came back in once my parents had left and I examined the comforter that covered me. Salmon really isn’t my color, but it’s what they have.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he said, and I nodded, grabbing a tissue. “But they can’t just pull Dr. Callahan out of retirement. If you want a new doctor, you have to have someone currently practicing. If things don’t improve, I’ll call around and see who can see you. I have to get downstairs and finish work, now that things are good here. I’m going to try to make the concert, but the girls aren’t very excited about it. I’ll come by again before I leave.”

“I’m sorry, too,” I told him and kissed him before he left.

Truth be told, I’m not sorry; after all, he was being an ass for no reason. But it’s polite to apologize and I know that he knew I didn’t mean it. He was serious, though, I could tell that much. I just hate being treated like I don’t know what I’m doing. I know the ins and outs of this business better than most, and therefore, I know my rights as a patient. With a sigh, I grabbed my phone to text the girls.

Good luck tonight, Priscilla.

I gave her time to respond, and while she said thanks, even through text I could tell it wasn’t enthusiastic at all.

Good luck tonight, Eliza.

Another dull-sounding thank you; I wonder what’s been going on at home that no one has told me about. Now, of course I won’t find out, with Jacoby at work and everyone else getting ready for the concert. But I do wonder if there is something going on at home and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

Thirty Four

I made my way slowly up the interstate around eight that night. Once Jimmy was stable, I’d gone back downstairs to help out for a bit longer, since I was gone for a good couple of hours while Jimmy coded. I was scared to death and I admit I was mad at Dr. Sullivan, too. But she explained that it was mostly a recurrence of the exacerbation and a little bit that mucous was blocking his airway. I can’t believe he thinks his tech ignored him, but after an investigation, it seems that is exactly what happened. I mean, according to Dr. Sullivan, the girl, Kelsey, admitted it. She said that patients who can’t talk don’t need anything. She was fired on the spot, needless to say, and we’ve been assured it will never happen again.

“Fuck,” I muttered, slowing down a bit. The truck slid and I realized it was slick out. The interstate this morning had been fine and Jimmy’s folks hadn’t reported problems coming in earlier. Now, it seemed that we’d had some freezing rain and I was driving on the skating rink it had left behind. There had been no school yesterday and a two hour late start today, but the concert was rescheduled for tonight and it went on. Apparently, they should’ve waited a week, given the current conditions out here on the interstate. “There we go.”

I brought the truck back under control and decreased my speed once again. I was one of only a few brave (or foolish) souls out here, but that’s going to change when the concert lets out. At this point, I know I’m not making it to the show, so I took the exit for Mondamin and headed for our gravel. If the interstate was slicker than snot, what’s the county road going to be like?

“Of course you’d be a fucking skating rink,” I muttered, making sure my traction control and four wheel drive were on. If I go slow I’ll make it home, no problem. “Better text them and let them know.”

I paused at a stop sign and sent a quick text to Joe telling them to be damn careful on the drive home. He responded that they were just warming the truck after the concert and would heed my warning. Satisfied, I turned and made the mile trip in slow motion before meeting our gravel. I dropped my blade, considering it was still a bit snow packed and started for home, wishing (not for the first time) that we lived in town. I know I’d hate it, but in the winter, I’d have less to worry about.

I managed to make our driveway with no problem and got the truck parked. Hopefully, Joe can drive in this weather safely. I know Eliza can, and I know the girls took one truck, but I worry about our non-Iowa family; they’re not used to this weather at all.

Thankfully, an hour later, they walked in the door, looking a bit shaken but otherwise unharmed.

“I have never gone in the ditch. I don’t want to do that again,” Joe told me and I nodded, glad they were safe. “Is it normal for people out here to be driving their tractors around, rescuing people?”

“Not really, but it’s possible they’d just helped someone else when they spotted you. Normally, you have to call someone or a tow truck. I’m just glad you aren’t hurt.”

“No, but Jimmy’s truck got a little scratched and dented.”

I shrugged. “No worries. It’s been scratched and dented for a while anyway, since he slid into Ella that day. It happens.”

We were quiet then, as the girls came in. I was expecting to see a post-concert glow, but instead, got dirty looks and angry glares. I didn’t exactly feel good about missing the concert, but it really was out of my control at this point. I mean, the roads were bad, we had problems with Jimmy and by the time I got out of work, it was too late. It took me longer than usual to drive home and when I got to where I could turn for home or the school, the concert was over.

“Guys, I’m sorry,” I said, but was ignored as they took their horns upstairs. I sank into a kitchen chair and slowly started banging my head onto its hard, polished surface. Between Jimmy and the girls, I was about to give up. “I quit.”

The motion of my head was stopped by my aunt, who lifted my head as she used to when I was a child. “Now, Jacoby, that’s the last thing I want to hear out of you. You’re doing the best you can and this is stress talking. The girls are upset, as any child would be, because you missed the show. But it’s out of your control and there’s nothing you can do about it. Just try to look on the bright side: you could’ve lost Jimmy today and you didn’t. He’s alive and what more can you ask for?”

“I know,” I sighed, rubbing my face. I wonder if my face is getting chapped yet. “But I just can’t win, you know? The girls are mad because I missed their concert, but I was worried about their dad because he fucking coded today. He’s mad because of his tech and his doctor and then he had a childish meltdown in ICU. That caused problems and then he kicked me out of his room. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying so hard and it’s just not enough.” I was angry and I couldn’t help it. “I feel like no one respects me around here anymore no matter what I do. I mean, Jimmy fucking kicked me out of his hospital room because I disagreed with him. I mean, nothing I do is enough around here and I’m fucking sick of it!”

I punctuated my last statement by smashing my fist into the table. I’d never admit how hard it was being a part of this family, but sometimes, I feel like Priscilla. I mean, I do my best for my kids and I do my best for Jimmy and days like today, it seems like it all gets thrown right back in my face.

“Believe it or not, everyone appreciates you. Right now it may not seem that way, but they do,” Joe said, sitting at the table. “I know this was a bad day, but everything that happened was beyond your control. There was nothing you could’ve done to prevent what happened to Jimmy. You couldn’t have prevented the weather that slowed your drive home. The girls will get over this as they have gotten over everything before and life will go on. But don’t ever think you’re not appreciated, because you are.”

I nodded, but of course, I didn’t believe it. I wasn’t one to argue with my father-in-law, but I don’t feel appreciated right now and I haven’t for a very long time. I almost miss the days when the girls needed us around the clock for diapers and food and whatnot; at least then I was needed.

“Teenagers are like this, Jacoby. The girls are used to having you at their performances and this is the first time you’ve missed,” Jo said, hugging me tight. “They were bound to be upset, but after they cool off, they’ll realize that things were out of your control. Jimmy’s near-death was much more important than their concert, even though they’ll be mad about that.”

I nodded, because her words made sense. “I still just feel like no one needs me,” I sighed, rubbing my face. That’s getting to be a hard habit to break. “I mean, Priscilla’s always mad or in trouble, that takes away from Eliza who’s getting ready for graduation. Then Jimmy gets horribly sick and I just go to work, come home, cook, clean, and go back to work. What the hell kind of life is this?”

I realize now that I almost resent where I am in life. I had always wanted to stay here in Iowa, because I love my farm. When we had kids, we swore off moving until they were in college and we could retire. But now I wonder if I tried too hard to deny us our dreams. Jimmy always wanted to move back to California, and I always told him we would. That we’d do my thing for a while by staying in Iowa and then we’d do his thing and go to California. But we never did his thing, because we had kids and once they started school, we said we’d stay until they graduated.

“I mean, we had dreams once, I know we did. Jimmy had always wanted to move back to California, and I said we would, after a few years here. But then we had kids and we said we’d stay until both graduated. You know how that goes. But I truly feel like all I do is work, clean, cook, work, clean, cook. And not one person in this house gives a shit.”

“It sounds like you need a vacation,” Joe observed and I shook my head.

“That’d be lovely. And before this week, I’d have said it was possible. But this hospital stay is going to kill us financially, Joe. I mean, we’re in a lot better shape than we ever used to be financially, but the helicopter ride can run around five grand, then there’s a total of six or seven days in ICU, three hours of ventilator care at Creighton, a good half hour or hour of vent at Mo. Valley, plus meds used in both codes and everything else. I know we have killer insurance, but after that pays, we’re still going to be in hock for several thousand dollars of care.”

There was a moment of collective silence and I wondered what that meant. Had I complained too much? Or were they scheming?

“I don’t mean to say we can’t handle it,” I started, but Barb raised her hand to silence me.

“We know that. But we can help in other ways. If things get to be too much, you call. While we’re here, we’ll help out. We’re all going to be here until Jimmy’s well enough to return to work, so you’ll have plenty of help for the next few weeks. You can take a break, Jacoby, for once and let someone else do the work.”

“Well, I mean, when I said all that—“

“No arguing. You’re right that you do a lot around here. I know your family appreciates it, but with things as hectic as they are now, it’s understandable that you feel neglected. So, you relax, we take care of everything else.”

How can I argue with that? “All right, if you guys are sure. I do appreciate it, you know.” Hey, if I’m not feeling appreciated, how are they feeling? “I didn’t mean to make a big fuss, you know. I guess I just needed someone to talk to.”

“That’s the other reason we’re here, you know,” Alan reminded me, smiling a bit. “Now, I bet you’re hungry. The girls ate before the concert, but we heard their stomachs growling all the way home. How about some food?”

I nodded, standing and went to the deep freeze. Tonight would be an easy supper: Jimmy recently pre-made a bunch of casseroles (did he know he was going to get so sick?) and so we can make a couple of those. I just hope the girls aren’t so mad at me that they won’t come eat.

***

“West Harrison Community Schools: closed. Missouri Valley Community Schools: closed…” the radio announcer droned on and I sighed. My day off was going to be spent at the hospital with Jimmy, but the roads are so slick we can’t go anywhere. I hear there have been a lot of wrecks already and I don’t want to get into one myself. On top of that, school’s off and the girls ran back to bed faster than a cat after a mouse.

“Great. I hate winter,” I muttered, flipping pancakes. The adults were all up, so at least someone will eat these damn things, but it’s the idea of it. Molly already called and told Eliza not to come into work, so she’s really excited. “Breakfast is ready.”

I actually had the promised help this morning, and it was nice. I offered to cook, since I was already up and I’d leaned on them last night. They all pitched in anyway, setting the table, getting condiments out, Joe made bacon, etc. It was nice to have the help, even if the girls aren’t here to eat it.

“Any word from the hospital yet?” Jo asked, as we all started eating.

“Not yet, but it’s still early. Dr. Sullivan usually rounds at eight, so we’ve got at least an hour before we hear anything,” I said, grabbing a couple pieces of bacon. “Hopefully we get a good report, considering no one called over night.”

I always sleep with my phone right next to the bed when Jimmy’s in the hospital, just in case. I especially do so now, because we don’t know how the COPD is going to react when he’s got pneumonia. He’s done everything the doctor told him to do, but yet, he still got sick. I’m not sure how that works, but whatever. She told him to keep active and he does: he’s still a paramedic and nurse and he flies as much as he’s part of a ground medic team. But I guess that wasn’t enough and neither was the pneumonia shot.

“He’ll kick this,” Barb assured me, as I thought about the situation. “He’s strong.”

“I know. It just upsets me that he’s done everything that doctor told him and he still landed in the damn hospital. How does that work?”

Alan shrugged. “It’s hard to say. It might just be that his timing was off on the pneumonia shot. Sometimes, you do everything the doctor says and you still get sick. There’s no way of knowing how the body is going to react to a new disease. Since Jimmy’s only been diagnosed in the last few months, you’ve got a lot of learning to do as to how this is going to affect his body. So this is a learning curve perhaps, for everybody. If he gets pneumonia, it’s likely his COPD will flare as well. So, he just has to be extra vigilant and make sure he takes the precautions he can next time. There’s no easy answer to this, sadly.”

I nodded. “I know. It’s just hard to know that he did all of this and still got sick. I was dreading the first exacerbation and hopefully now that we’re through it, I can relax a bit. But it scares me that he was vented for three hours. I know the doctor did that because he stopped breathing and we thought he was going to be vented longer, but still. If that tech had done her job, we could’ve avoided this entire problem.”

“It’s in the past now. It’s time to let it go and worry about what’s happening from here on out,” JoAnn said, a bit sternly. I think perhaps I’ve dwelled on this far too long.

“You’re right. Let’s just hope we get a good report from the hospital. As long as he had a good night and is improving, that’s all that matters.”

Murmurs of agreement filled the kitchen as we finished eating. Sleet pelted the windows and the wind howled a bit around the kitchen windows. We had planned to caulk around those the other day, but Jimmy was in the hospital. I guess when the weather clears, that’ll be a priority. For now, I just had to learn to relax and enjoy a snow day with the kids. And hope that my husband gets to come home soon.

Thirty Five

“Ready to go for a walk?” my tech, Anna, asked.

“Yeah,” I responded. I shed the plastic tubing affixed to my nose and then tossed the covers aside. I've been in the hospital now for two weeks and I want to go home. So far, if this walk goes well, this will be the second day in a row that I've met the criteria for discharge. I’m eating again, I’m independent in all areas of self care and I’m able to maintain 95% or better sats while walking in the hall. The main thing is going to be getting me weaned from oxygen in the room, but considering I’m only using about one liter or less, that’s not going to be hard. “I hope to go home soon.”

“If you keep doing this well, you will,” she assured me, as we started out. She had the IV machine and I walked without assistance. “How are you feeling?”

She’d clipped a little probe to my finger to measure my sats and I was pleased to see it was at 99%. “I’m feeling good. I’m not tired or lightheaded or anything yet. I’m actually kind of hungry.”

Anna laughed, as we passed the little kitchen area. “I promise to get you a snack once you do three laps at 95% or better.”

I made the deal and kept a steady walking pace so I wouldn’t jinx anything. After all, going home means I can walk at a normal pace, not run a marathon. As we started our second lap, my mom and dad joined us, broad smiles on their faces.

“Well, you seem to be doing better,” dad observed, as we rounded the back corner. I waved to the man in room 457, who’s been here as long as me for the same reason. Save for the fact that he’s about 20 years older than me, we’re in much the same boat. “Sats look good.”

“If I’m good, I get a snack,” I joked, causing everyone to laugh. “Lap three and still doing well.”

The little machine continued to display 99% on it, and I smiled. My nurse met us back at my room at the end of my walk, and Anna gave her a report.

“Sounds good. I’ll stop the oxygen, though we’ll keep the tubing in the room just in case. I’ll also call the doctor and give her the good news. You might actually get to go home at some point, Jim. Can I get you guys anything?”

“We’d take some coffee,” mom said, smiling as we settled around my room. I was tired of the bed, so I took the recliner next t it. “Straight black, regular, please.”

“Jimmy?”

“Coffee please, with one cream, and some chocolate ice cream.”

“Be right back.”

Once we were alone, mom asked how I was feeling. “Fine. Bored though. I’ve read all the books I have, and all the magazines I have. Everyone from work has come to see me, as have all the neighbors and now I’m just plain bored. I want to go home.”

“Soon,” dad promised, as my tech and nurse returned. They gave us our drinks and my ice cream and then left us to visit. “The kids are behaving, by the way.”

“Good,” I said, pulling back the little plastic cover on the ice cream. Chocolate is my favorite and they’ve kept me well supplied once I got my appetite back. “I heard about the music concert. I guess they got over it?”

Dad nodded, taking a cautious sip of his coffee. “For the most part. Alan and Jo had their video camera, so they recorded it and Jacoby got to watch it the next day. There was no school that day due to the weather, so we had the day to kill. He missed a good concert, but it wasn’t his fault.”

“We certainly can’t help the weather. Alan brought the video in and I got to watch it. It was a good concert; I was proud of them and sorry I missed it. I didn’t realize Priscilla had scored a solo in band. She’s going to go far with the trumpet one of these days, if she can stay focused in school and stuff.”

My door opened again and speak of the devil: there’s Cilla. She was smiling, so I was immediately curious (if you have kids, you’ll understand); did she want something?

“Hey dad. How are you feeling?” she asked, settling onto my bed next to my mom. I checked my phone and saw that it was nearly five and then wondered where the day had gone.

“Much better. Should be home in a couple of days,” I assured her, as she unzipped her bag. She must’ve come right from school and I looked for Eliza. “Where’s your sister?”

“She’s coming. Monet rode with us, since her mom’s in the hospital for surgery. They went to visit her.”

I nodded, having forgotten about Maria’s surgery. It was routine but still required an overnight stay. “That’s fine. How’s school going?”

She shrugged, the typical response to such a question. “It’s fine. I wanted to show you this, since I know it’s important to you.”

I accepted a folded sheet of paper from her, curious what was on it. Letters home usually aren’t a good thing and I didn’t want her getting into anymore trouble. I carefully unfolded the white paper, seeing the usual school letterhead. As I read on, though, I started to smile.

“That’s great!” I said, as I passed it to my mom. “All As! I knew you could do it again!”

I hugged her tight, trying to show her how proud I was. Christmas was coming in a couple of weeks (December gets here fast when you’re in the hospital), and now she’s got a shot at getting the gift she’s been begging us for: a new truck. Her current truck is okay, but it’s not great, and it’s starting to run down. Tony drives it to work twice a week and has said he wouldn’t want his daughter driving it, especially when it stranded him on the side of the road. Since she doesn’t have a job, she’d have to get one if we got her a better truck, but we’ve had our eye on a few used ones around the area so she just might get it.

“I’m proud of you,” my dad said, smiling at his granddaughter. “Just keep this up, okay? Remember the deal?”

Deal?

“I remember,” she said and I conveyed my confusion to my mom. “Uh oh, dad doesn’t remember.”

This is not the first time I’ve forgotten something, of course. “Remember what?” I asked, hoping it was a good thing.

“We talked to you and Jacoby right after you returned to fourth floor,” mom said, looking concerned. I guess she’s not used to me forgetting things. “The deal was that if she kept on the A or B honor roll this semester and next, she could spend June out in California. She’d go home when you guys came out in July.”

I nodded, thinking that was reasonable. “That sounds good to me. I guess I was still kind of out of it when we talked, since I honestly don’t remember that. But if you can do it, I’m all for it.”

“Awesome!” she shrieked and we all quieted her before my nurse came in to yell at her again. She’s been told she’s too loud a couple of times already when she’s been to see me and I don’t want her getting kicked out for good. “Sorry. They must not like excitement up here.”

I started laughing, which lead to a hell of a coughing fit and that lead to some shortness of breath. I managed to recover, though, and finally had everything under control. Priscilla’s eyes were bulging out of her head and I think I scared her.

“I’m okay, honey. That’s going to happen for a few days after I get over this.”

“Okay. Didn’t mean to kill you or anything.”

I managed to keep my laughter under control this time, as my IV started beeping. My nurse, Kat, was quick to hurry in and stop it, then unhooked it for a while.

“You’ve got a chest x-ray in about ten minutes,” she said, and I nodded. Hopefully it will remain clear like the last one did. “Feeling okay?”

I nodded, waving my hand at her. “Priscilla just said something funny and I had a bit of a coughing fit from it. I’m okay and everything is good.”

“Jimmy? We’re here to take you down for your chest x-ray.”

I went through the usual identification procedures and then got into the wheelchair, grateful for the blanket they provided. I’d lost weight again, as I always do when I’m in the hospital, and I get cold easily. I was looking forward to going home, but not to going out in the cold weather to do so.

“Fingers crossed,” mom said, as we moved out into the hall. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

***

“God it’s good to be home again,” I said, flopping into my recliner. A total of seventeen days in the hospital was far too much for me. I didn’t sleep much, I didn’t get to see the outside world, and it generally sucked. “I hate being in the hospital.”

Jacoby smiled, as he settled into the chair with me. “Just remember, though, that you’re supposed to take it easy, okay? No work for a week, pending the okay at your follow up and no hard labor around here.”

I grinned at him and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Oh really? You might have to be disappointed for a bit longer then.”

He groaned, pressing his forehead to mine, his problem obvious. “Not nice,” he whispered back, kissing me. Intimacy is, of course, frowned upon in the hospital. “Not nice at all. Let’s compromise and say two days?”

“One day,” I argued, knowing full well we had family watching me like a hawk. Mom was going to make sure I did what I was told and rested. “I can’t wait much longer.”

He grinned, nipping my lower lip. “Okay, tomorrow night, when everyone has gone to bed.”

I nodded, slipping my tongue into his mouth. Mom cleared her throat and we groaned, looking like two guilty children.

“Rest, Jimmy, does not mean get it on with Jacoby,” she reminded me, causing me to blush. I mean, whose mom says that? “I don’t mean to be crude, but you are supposed to rest. Your sex life is your business, but for at least a couple of days, spare us.”

We all burst out laughing at that, even as Jacoby snuggled in closer to me, laying his head on my chest. We’d be good for a couple of days, but I don’t think we’re capable of much more than that. I was still embarrassed that my mom talked about my sex life in front of my children!

“Gotcha,” I said, nodding, as everyone continued to laugh. “No sex while mom is here.”

She blushed when I said that, which made me feel a bit better; paybacks and all that. Jacoby groaned at me, shaking his head, as I smiled. It was certainly good to be back home again.

Thirty Six

The remainder of the winter passed quietly for us. Jimmy stayed healthy, our families returned to California after Christmas (he got out a week before the holiday, so they decided to stay), and all has returned to normal. In some ways it’s nice, but some ways, it’s sad, because now that we’re into the New Year, it’s getting closer to graduation.

It’s currently Eliza’s 18th birthday, and I’m feeling sentimental. Jimmy and I both arranged to have this weekend off, and Sean was cool about it. Of course, there are several in the ER that have kids with birthdays the first part of April, and he’s working with everyone for weekends off. There are also several in the ER that have graduates on May 27th and he’s got to schedule for that, too, but he’s working it out as best he can. We’ve got her cake ready to go, gifts are starting to pile up on the gift table and the backyard is full of people ready to celebrate. We gave out of state family the option of coming for her birthday or graduation, assuring them they didn’t need to come for both. They’ve all opted for graduation and Eliza said that was fine; she Skyped with them the other night and their gifts arrived in the mail yesterday.

“Liza! Happy birthday!” Monet shouted and I watched her run across the yard. Her birthday was last weekend and we spent most of the day out at their farm. “I can’t believe we’re adults now!”

I almost laughed at that, considering most teenagers think 18 is the magic number for being grown up. I held my tongue, though, thinking back to other birthdays we’d celebrated in this yard. Ever since she was old enough, Monet would scream ‘Liza! Happy birthday!’ and run across the yard into her arms. I know her parents taught her to say that when she was young (as we taught Eliza), but it’s kind of funny how they still say it.

“Feel nostalgic?” Jimmy asked, handing me a glass of tea. He’d made up pitchers raspberry tea, passion iced tea, regular tea, lemonade, but nothing alcoholic. Later tonight, after the party, Monet and Eliza will be allowed to have one glass of wine or one bottle of beer around the campfire and that’s it. I nodded. “Me, too. Just think, 18 years ago, Michelle went into labor on us kind of out of the blue.”

I nodded, recalling that day well; we were both nervous wrecks. “But for being three weeks early, she was fine.”

“Did we miss the party?”

I turned around, not sure I’d heard correctly. But sure enough, Brian and Michelle Haner were walking into the yard, smiling big. Eliza turned as well and let out a shriek when she saw them.

“MOM!”

Yes, she calls Michelle mom, which is fine with us. After all, Michelle gave birth to her and she does have some of Michelle in her. When we needed eggs, Michelle stepped forward and offered not only eggs, but her womb as well. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have Eliza and we’re forever grateful.

“What are you guys doing here?” Jimmy asked, hugging his friends, a big grin spreading across his face. “We weren’t expecting anyone for another few weeks, when it was time for graduation.”

“We couldn’t miss her 18th birthday, silly,” Michelle said, hugging me next. “We didn’t bring the kids, since we’re only out here for a few days, but they send birthday greetings as well. Mom and dad have them for the weekend. We’re here until Wednesday.”

“That’s great! Thanks for coming,” I told them, still grinning. They didn’t get off to the greatest start with their relationship, but they’ve been going strong now for several years. Brian was in a brief but abusive and controlling relationship, but Michelle was a blessing for him. “I’m glad you made it!”

“The whole family will be out for graduation and we’ll be out for a week that time. But Michelle wanted to do some pictures of Eliza on her 18th, and this was the best time to do it,” Brian told us, as he hugged Eliza. Once she and Michelle stood next to each other, you could see the resemblance they had.

“I remembered how pretty the change of seasons was out here in April,” she told me, as a few neighbors filtered down. “So, I arranged to surprise you guys and as my gift to her, I’m doing portraits of her.”

“She’s going to love that,” I said, watching my daughter. She had her camera out, snapping pictures of all her friends. We’d gotten her a new one for graduation, but she didn’t know that yet.

“We really appreciate you coming,” Jimmy said, as we moved toward the grill. Anthony had offered to take care of it so we could mingle and enjoy the party. I protested like I do every year, and like every year, I lost. “We weren’t expecting you or we’d have rearranged our work schedules.”

“No worries,” Michelle said, with a wave of her hand. “We knew people would have to work when we decided to surprise you. That’s why we’re only here a few days, because he’s got to work next weekend. But he had enough PTO for this and graduation, so I said we had to come.”

“How is the Children’s Hospital?” I asked, handing Brian and Michelle a bottle of pop from the cooler; they’ve never been much for tea for some reason. “Keeping you busy?”

Brian nodded, cracking the cap off and taking a drink. “Especially this past winter. A lot of kids were in with pneumonia and RSV for some reason. I always associate those with colder climates, like the Midwest, but we got hit hard this year. Even Lyric was in for a couple of weeks with pneumonia. Noel was lucky, only a couple of bouts of flu, but it was enough. I’m hoping that with spring coming, we’ll be done with illness for a while. This time of year, we start getting the usual spate of broken bones, appendicitis, etc., with the kids, so we’ll see what happens. It’s nice to have a break, though.”

“And how does the promotion suite you?” Jimmy asked, watching as Eliza and Monet walked around the yard taking pictures.

“It’s going well. I didn’t think I wanted to be charge nurse, but it’s been six months and I love it. Most everyone respects me and the couple who haven’t have been dealt with,” he responded, shrugging. “It’s more pay, which is always nice. We just bought a house halfway between Los Angeles and Huntington Beach, and that wasn’t cheap.”

“I bet not. What else has been going on out there?”

“Not much. Same shit, different day. Matt, Johnny, and Zach just expanded the tattoo shop, which they swore they’d never do. But they had to find a bigger building, so they moved down the street. They also hired a third piercer, since business is booming. Noel has expressed interest in being a piercer when she gets old enough.”

“Eliza’s really into tattoos as well. She’s off to art school on a full ride for two years, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up working for them. They’ve offered her hours during school, so I think she’s going to take them up on it. They gave her a tattoo before we left last summer and she learned some tattooing from Johnny while she was grounded. She’s got four, but she thinks we only know about the one.”

Brian laughed, coughing a bit as he choked on his pop. Michelle rubbed his back and Eliza glanced at us, though I can’t tell if she was embarrassed or amused. I just shook my head, feeling not unlike my parents…which always makes me wonder what mom knew that I thought she didn’t.

“So, as a birthday gift, we got her a gift certificate to her favorite tattoo place in Omaha. I know she’ll love it and I’ve glimpsed designs she’s been drawing of late and they all look spectacular.”

“What’s she going to study?” Michelle asked, as Annie wandered over for a pop.

“Digital photography, which we figured on,” Jimmy responded, taking a deep breath. Needless to say, I watch him closely after November/December. He smiled at me, as Annie shot me a ‘calm down’ look. “So, she’s going out in July with us and she’ll stay with mom and dad until she moves into the dorms in October. Matt has already said she can start the week after she arrives, so she gets a bit of a vacation and they’re working out salary and stuff. He takes care of the books and I said as long as she makes a living wage, she’ll be fine. Matt has assured me that all of his staff start out such that they can go to school and still afford to live. He starts everyone above minimum wage, so that was a relief. We’re going to miss her, though.”

He sniffled and we all chuckled, knowing that while it was going to be emotional, it was a bit early for the tears to start.

“Food’s ready!”

We barely avoided being trampled to death by the assembled teenagers who ran for the food table, grabbing plates, buns, you name it. I keep forgetting that Tony’s daughter is the proud owner of a hollow leg and she can eat most teenage boys under the table. She also plays basketball, so that might contribute to her appetite. Either way, the adults hung back and let the kids go first, finally taking our turn.

“Happy Birthday honey,” Jimmy said, as we sat next to her at the picnic table. “After this, we’ll do gifts and then cake, sound good?”

She nodded, her mouth full of food, which seems to be a common state for teenagers. “Sounds good.”

Dinner was quiet and then it was time for presents. As she gets older, the packages get smaller, more toward gift certificates, which is fine with us. She’s still trying to figure out how much stuff she’s shipping to California, and I know she wants all her stuff. She’ll be home for Christmas but that’s a long time to be away from all your stuff.

“Presents!” Jimmy announced, as I helped him bring the small pile over. There are definitely more envelopes this year, especially from California. “You might’ve scored big in money this year.”

Eliza laughed, sliding her finger under the first envelope flap. Inside was a funny card and $100 bill from my aunt and uncle. Every niece and nephew that turns 18 gets $100 for their birthday, so I wasn’t as surprised as Jimmy apparently was.

The remainder of the cards contained gift cards, checks (people do still write them though they’re nearly obsolete), and cash. She got some new books and a couple of new memory cards, the photo session from Chelle and as usual, Jimmy’s folks paid for her license plate tags. By the time she was done, she had the biggest smile on her face and was no doubt already planning a trip to the mall. Of course, being this close to graduation, this is where we step in, once everyone has gone home.

“Does anyone have room for cake?” I asked, and was surprised when people said yes. I went to the cake table and once we’d sung to her, I cut into the chocolate and white cake, with the rainbow frosting. It bore the sentiment Happy 18th Birthday Eliza!, with an easel drawn in the middle. “Ice cream, too.”

A line soon formed and we quickly ran out of ice cream and cake, though thankfully everyone had gotten some. I’d only gotten a half sheet, figuring that would be too much, but I almost wish I’d gotten the full sheet. Of course, we’re getting three full sheets for graduation (don’t ask me about cost, because you’ll faint), just because we’re expecting a crowd.

“Good party,” Brian complimented me, as we sat around the campfire that night. He and Michelle had planned to get a hotel in Missouri Valley but I wouldn’t hear of it. I was glad they’d waited to make the reservation (the trip was a bit last minute) so they didn’t have to cancel. “I can’t believe she’s 18.”

“Me either,” Michelle said, sipping at her beer. Everyone got one beer and that was it. “18 years ago, I was in the hospital, glad that I could help you guys start a family. I’m so glad I was able to help.”

“So are we,” I told her, glancing over at Jimmy. He seems upset, but I’m not sure why. “You okay Slim?”

He nodded, taking a deep breath. It’s cool out tonight, since it’s April, but the fire is keeping us plenty warm. “Just thinking, that’s all. Bit emotional, I guess, at Eliza turning 18.”

“That’s understandable,” Michelle said, setting her empty bottle aside. “Jimmy, want to walk with me to get some pops?”

He nodded, clearly confused at the request, though I had an idea what she wanted. When they were gone, Brian looked over at me, as Priscilla, Randi, Eliza and Monet took their seats, a bowl of popcorn between them on the little table between their chairs.

“He still wishes he’d have let Michelle carry the second pregnancy, doesn’t he?” he asked quietly, and I nodded. There was a 99.99% chance that Jimmy was infertile (he was born intersex) but as with all chances, there was also that miniscule chance that he wasn’t infertile; it turns out he wasn’t and he got pregnant. “He knows that wouldn’t change the outcome, right?”

I nodded, finishing my beer in one gulp. “He knows, but he still carries a lot of guilt at the loss of Penny. He’s gotten better and moved on, but once in a while, that guilt creeps up. I’m sure Michelle is assuring him that all is well.”

“He does seem better adjusted than a few years ago. How’s he going to do when you take Eliza out for college?”

I shrugged, indicating that not only did I not know, but Michelle and Jimmy were returning. Brian gave a discreet nod, then accepted a Pepsi from his wife.

“Here you go, Jack,” Jimmy said, handing me a bottle of Pepsi. “No one is going to sleep tonight, are they?”

“No,” I laughed, cracking the cap on my pop. “But hey; it’s the weekend and we don’t have to work. I suggest we just enjoy this. Tuesday will be here before we know it.”

There was no protest to that as we leaned back in our chairs, enjoying the warmth of the fire and pleasure of surprise guests. Eliza’s party had been a smashing success as usual and now we just had to get graduation over with. Her party was the day before the ceremony, and I was a little nervous; it seemed there was still so much to do. On top of that, I had to worry about Jimmy: could he handle graduation and Eliza leaving us for school?

Thirty Seven

Did you know that folding chairs situated in a small gym are terribly uncomfortable? Did you also know that the companies that make tissues simply never make enough for moments like this?

“Eliza Eleanor Shaddix, suma cum laude, national honor society, national forensic league.”

As our daughter walked across the stage in her cap and gown, we stood, my camera clicking like crazy. She got her diploma and a red rose, then made her way to us. This is where we fail to have enough tissues. My camera lowered and the tears started as she hugged me, giving me the rose and I held her tight. I think I heard Priscilla roll her eyes.

“Dad, you’re going to have to let go at some point,” she whispered, as I continued to hold her.

“I know, but not yet,” I sobbed. “I’m so proud.”

Jacoby held her for a moment, too, before taking my camera and capturing her walk back to her seat. I wiped at my eyes, but it was no use. We sat through the remaining names and then watched as all of the graduates stood, their tassels now on the left side of their caps.

“I present to you the West Harrison High School class of 2029!” the principal said, and the caps flew into the air as they all shouted and cheered and I bawled.

When it was quiet, the band struck up the recessional and the graduates walked out, headed for classrooms to turn in their caps and gowns to receive their real diplomas. The holders are actually empty, I’d learned, until the cap and gown is turned in. They get to keep any honors cords they earn but everything else must be turned in.

“Dad, I’ll meet you back at the house, okay? I want to go to Monet’s for a bit and we’re going to go to some parties.”

I hugged her once more, trying to control myself. “Be safe and don’t be out too late, okay?”

She smiled, though I know she wanted to roll her eyes. “Don’t forget, Molly’s having a party for the four of us who graduated tonight at seven.”

“We’ll be there,” Jacoby promised, as we turned to leave. Her party had been a smashing success yesterday and three full sheet cakes almost wasn’t enough! EVERYONE from California is here and we couldn’t be happier. “You survived.”

“Almost,” I amended his statement, still wiping at my watery eyes. I got into his truck and buckled in, missing the days when we had the car seats and booster seats in the back. Priscilla was being quiet in the back, probably embarrassed by my display of emotion. “I told you I was going to cry.”

He smiled, squeezing my thigh as we joined the long line of cars leaving the parking lot. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

I grabbed another tissue from my pants pocket and flipped him off for making me cry again. God, if I’m this much of a wreck on graduation day, how will I be when we leave her in California at the end of July?

“Are you going to be okay when we leave California?” my husband asked, as he turned to head down the county road to our gravel.

“I think so,” I responded, turning back to check on Priscilla. She had her nose buried in a book, headphone blaring the latest popular metal band. Clearly, she had no interest in our conversation and that was fine with me this time. “We’ll see, of course, but I should be.”

Jacoby nodded, turning onto our gravel. It had been a mild winter, which was nice, and the gravel today was clear. May can be a fussy month, but the end of May was usually warm. Today was perfect and I smiled.

“Wonder if we have a house-full,” Jacoby mused, turning into our garage a few minutes later. The yard was full of rentals, indicating that we did indeed have a house-full. “I’d say that’s a yes.”

Our yard was also full of children of various ages, and Priscilla ran to be with her older cousins. Everyone was leaving this coming Friday and it would be nice to get the house back to normal.

“Did Jimmy cry?” Barb asked, smiling when she saw me. Space is limited, so the school encouraged extended family to stay home and watch the ceremony on TV. “It’s okay, honey, we cried at each of your sister’s graduations, too. It’s normal.”

She hugged me, laughing when I started crying once again. We knew this was going to be an emotional day and no one was saying anything against me. Besides, wait until we leave California this summer; I have a feeling I’m going to be an emotional wreck. For now, I wanted to get through the party tonight at the bar, and hope I didn’t cry.

***

Of course I cried. Molly had plenty of cake, a gift for each of the four employees who were graduating and heading to college, and plenty of pop flowing for everyone. It was a good party and each graduate was asked to talk about their after high school pans.

“Eliza? How about you?” Molly asked, as the party started to wind down. Everyone in our family/friends was here and we easily had the largest crowd.

“Well, I won a full ride for two years to the Art Institute Orange County. I plan to study digital photography and learn to tattoo on the weekends.”

“That’s my girl!” Johnny shouted and we all laughed when Matt slapped him to shut him up. He’d recently begun dating a girl named Lacey and she was blushing furiously.

“Good luck in your studies. You’ve always been a talented artist and photographer and I have no doubt that you’ll have a long career. Now, hats off to our grads!”

We all cheered raising our glasses of pop to the kids, who were standing in front of the bar with broad smiles on their faces. Most had only worked here three years but it had been a good three years filled with good learning. Priscilla was set to take her sister’s spot this August, after spending most of the summer in California. She’d gotten her truck for Christmas, and gotten her school permit back in January as scheduled. So far so good with her, but we’re always on the alert just in case.

“Congratulations to you all. I look forward to overworking you on breaks and, for those staying close to home, on weekends. Those of you going out of state, don’t be strangers and remember, any time you’re home for a few days, you’re welcome to come in and work.”

We all stayed and mingled a bit longer and then it was time to head back to the farm. As usual, Jo, Alan, mom, and dad were staying with us while everyone else had a hotel. We were hosting a big breakfast in the morning for everyone and then Eliza was going to have to finalize her packing list. She had time, but we wanted to have all the decisions made before packing time mid-way though June.

“You still have some tears left?” my dad asked, as we walked into the house half an hour later. I nodded, taking a deep breath. “It gets easier.”

“I doubt it. I’m going to be a mess when we come back from vacation, aren’t I?”

He nodded, causing us both to laugh. “Probably. But this all part of being a parent, sadly. Trust me, when the grandkids are born you cry, when the kids graduate anything, you cry, I mean, it’s sad work being a parent.”

I had to laugh because in part dad’s joking but in part, he’s also dead on. I cried when Hamlet died in February and I know I’ll cry when we leave California without Eliza. It’ll be a happy moment, too, but sad all at the same time.

“What’s that?” dad asked, pointing to the backdoor. I was going to be sarcastic and explain that it was the backdoor, but then I looked closer. A little grey ball of fluff was sitting there, looking lost and underfed. “It’s a kitten.”

I wasn’t ready for a new cat, not yet. It’s been almost a year without Ophelia and a scant couple of months without her brother, Hamlet. But I couldn’t help it when I bent over and picked up the little kitten with blue eyes.

“Aren’t you cute?” I asked, gently turning the kitten over to check gender. “It’s a girl kitten.”

I looked over at Jacoby who went inside and grabbed the flea comb, handing it to me when he returned outside. I gently combed the matted fur, glad no fleas were found. She was dangerously thin and couldn’t be more than six or eight weeks old.

“I wonder who she belongs to,” Jacoby mused, as I examined her a bit. “She’s not been well cared for.”

“Might be a random farm cat. There are some out in the barn, after all, remember? Nash said there’s been several litters, but he always takes them to people looking for cats. Maybe this one escaped.”

Jacoby shrugged as I continued to cradle the tiny kitten. She licked my face and I smiled. I think she’s a keeper.

“I’ll head in for kitten food,” Jacoby said and I smiled. “What should we call her?”

“I don’t know,” I mused, looking into her impossibly blue eyes. I only knew two people who would fit that description. “Eleanor Penelope. That’s what we’ll call her.”

Jacoby nodded, heading to his truck to go into town. We still had food bowls and such, but we’d need cat litter, food, things that we didn’t keep after Hamlet passed. I hadn’t really wanted a new cat for a very long time, but sometimes, things happen for a reason. I won’t tell Jacoby my theory, because while he doesn’t say bad things about my beliefs, I am guaranteed an eye roll at least. But I believe in reincarnation and I wouldn’t be surprised if Eleanor found a way to come back and bring Penny with her.

“Aren’t you just a cutey, Eleanor?” I asked, as she licked my face once again. I laughed, feeling a smile take over my lips. “Where did you come from, you scrawny little thing? I guess we’d better call Dr. Samson tomorrow and get you in for a checkup and shots.”

I felt a stinging pain and looked down to see a back claw scratching at my hand. I flinched, considering our cats are always de-clawed. With a shake of my head, I placed the kitten in my lap, wondering if she’d run away; she didn’t. Instead, she settled in to sleep.

“I guess we’ll get the claws taken off, too. And we won’t say the ‘s’ word around you, either.”

That seemed to please her, as she drifted to sleep. I stroked her fur, still wondering if she was here for a reason. Did I have some big challenge coming up? I know it’s going to be hard to send my daughter to college, but that will be a short-lived challenge. I will be fine after I settle in to having one child in the house. Perhaps this kitten is just a coincidence, but I feel there’s more to it.

“Coming in?”

I glanced up at Jacoby, wondering how he’d gotten to town and back so fast. My back was starting to hurt and I realized I’d been sitting here, stroking Eleanor’s fur, and had gotten lost in my thoughts. With a nod, I carefully stood up, cradling the kitten to my chest. She shifted in her sleep but didn’t wake, as we walked inside.

“I’ll set up some food and a little box and stuff. Maybe see if we still have the window perch,” I suggested, carefully setting her on the rug in front of the sink. My husband nodded as I searched the cupboards for the bowls we’d used when our previous cats were kittens, then poured a bit of kitten chow in a small bowl. I scooped a bit of wet food onto a small plate as well, then filled a bowl with water.

“You hungry?” I asked, as sleepy blue eyes looked up at me from the rug. She stretched and it sadden me to see her little ribs. “You look hungry.”

I picked her up and placed her in front of the wet food and soon, she had scarfed the entire thing down. She quickly moved to the dry food and I got her a bit more wet food. We’d never rehabilitated a cat before, but there was a first time for everything. After all, our previous four cats had been shelter cats and now I was starting to think we should get Eleanor a companion.

“I have already planned to head to the shelter tomorrow with you when we get up,” Jacoby said, and my mom smiled, watching me with the new kitten. “I think we need cats in this house again.”

I nodded, watching as the kitten lapped at her water. I feel like she’s here for a reason and I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what that reason is.

Thirty Eight

“Are you sure that’s everything?”

Eliza nodded, but uncertainty clouded her face. Boxes were piled in her room, labeled and ready to ship to Jimmy’s parent’s house, but there was still a lot of stuff in her room. She had a list in her hands and she went over everything on it, looking around her room and then she started to cry.

“Oh, honey, don’t worry,” I said, taking her into my arms. Jimmy would be home from work soon (he was working a half day today, since we needed to get ready for our California trip). “Anything you forget, we can send out later.”

“I don’t wanna go!” she sobbed and I smiled. I wondered when the reality of the situation was going to sink in. She’s never been away from home for more than a few nights at Monet’s house before, so this was bound to be scary. “I’m going to be so homesick.”

“That’s normal,” I assured her, rubbing her back as she dried her eyes. “Trust me, I was terribly homesick when I got here the first time. But it gets better. Once you’re in school and really settled in, you’ll forget all about being homesick.”

She nodded, wiping at her eyes as she stood back, looking around her childhood room. “I know. But it’s just hit me that I really am leaving, you know?”

I nodded, thankful that Priscilla had been out there already for almost a month. She left right after school got out and Barb reports no problems with her. She’s helped with yard work, gardening, stuff at church, and so far, so good. Maybe that’s what she needed, but I still don’t think we’re out of the woods yet.

“I think that’s everything I want for now,” she decided, looking around her room. “I guess you’re right; if I forget something, I can always have you send it out to me.”

“We definitely can,” I assured her. Yes, finances were tight again, but we’re putting most of the rent money toward Jimmy’s hospital bills from last winter and they’re almost paid off. Insurance paid more than we thought they would, which was a huge relief for us. “So, shall we load these into the truck then?”

She nodded, grabbing what she could carry, as did I. I admit this is an emotional time, as we send her off to college. From day one, we knew this day was coming, and we cried on her first day of preschool (oh the horrible time that ended up being!), her first day of kindergarten (she did better…didn’t get kicked out at least), first day of middle school (when she met Monet for the first time), and high school. Jimmy cried at graduation and I cried that night, when it really hit me. I’ll try not to cry when we leave her in California at the end of the month.

“Are you excited?” I asked her, and she nodded, sliding boxes into my truck bed. I’d backed it up to the house to make things easier.

“I am. I’m not looking forward to the long drive out there, but I’d rather have my truck and I know how expensive shipping is going to be.”

Don’t get me started on that. When Jimmy, several years ago, decided to live in California without me, we shipped his truck out; never again.

“At least you’ll have your dad and me for company,” I pointed out, laughing when she made a face. “We’re not that bad of company, are we?”

She slapped my arm as we went in for another set of boxes, quickly clearing her room. She was shipping about ten boxes all together, which wasn’t going to be cheap, either, but I understood wanting her stuff. Jimmy was just coming up the walk when we finished and joined us inside for a late dinner.

“How was work?” I asked, kissing him. I got out sandwich stuff and we settled at the table.

“Not bad. I was in the office all day, since I was only there until noon, but I got a lot of back paperwork done. I also got the schedule out so that’s another worry off my list. Basically, everything is in order, Racheal the flier is in charge until I get back and I’m ready to go. What time do we leave tomorrow?”

I tried not to blanch as he spread his homemade pickle relish on a ham sandwich. “We’re pulling out at six.”

He waggled his eyebrows at me, causing Eliza to choke as she laughed. “Are we now?”

“Shut up!” I shouted, laughing. “We’ve got overnight stops planned in Denver and Las Vegas.”

“Oh! I have always wanted to see Vegas,” Eliza said, recovering from the previous amusement. “How long are we there?”

“If we make good time from Denver, we should be able to spend one full day, spend the night, then leave the next afternoon. It all depends on traffic and stuff, though, on the busier interstates.”

She nodded, again becoming melancholy. “Sounds good. We’re going to have some long driving stretches, then.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to stop any more than we had to,” I explained. “Your dad and I are flying back and we’ll stop along the way to rest and see things. But overall, I wanted to make good time to Huntington Beach.”

“You just want to get this trip over with,” Eliza teased, as the sunlight glinted off her hair. The red burst out in pure color and I smiled. “Admit it, dad. Spending that much time in a small truck with me and daddy just isn’t your idea of a good time.”

I laughed, as Jimmy pretended to look upset and offended.

“You know I love you Slim.”

He stuck his tongue out at me same time as Eliza and I was reminded again that she is his spitting image. Over the last year or so, her blonde hair has darkened into this beautiful chestnut and red hair just like his. She’s got his eyes, his height, everything; she’s truly his girl. We thought she’d gotten the blond hair from Michelle, but all at once, it’s gone. She swears she doesn’t dye it, either, though it was pink for a short time.

“What are we going to see while we drive out there?” Jimmy asked, as he started to make another sandwich. I don’t know where he puts it…

“Whatever we want. We’ll see the Rockies, of course, and Vegas. But I figure if we see something interesting, we can alert the driver, pull over and see it. I don’t really have a schedule for us.”

Eliza nodded, putting her plate in the dishwasher. She rummaged through the cupboards and finally produced a container of Oreos from the freezer. I don’t get it either. Sitting down at the polished kitchen table once again, she tore open the package and selected one before speaking.

“I want to explore Denver. I have a friend going to art school there and I want see what drew her there. Monet was so excited about Denver, but I said I’d never be able to handle the snowy winters.”

“I hear it’s beautiful, though,” Jimmy told her, snatching an Oreo. How they don’t break their teeth on the damn things is beyond me. “We’ll have to see when we get there. I want to see some of the little roadside stuff we always bypass. You know those brown signs that say ‘historical rock five miles’ and stuff. Just to see if any of it is really worth stopping for.”

I nodded, as this is what I was hoping for. “We can do that. We’ll also have to figure out when to switch drivers. I’m thinking four to six hour stretches or less. When one of us gets tired, we switch and that person can sleep in the back.”

They nodded and then Jimmy glanced at the clock. “We’d better get moving; I have to see the chiropractor this afternoon at two.”

It was nearly one already and so we hurried to clean up, then got in the truck to leave. Eleanor was watching us from Jimmy’s office window, her companion next to her. Oliver was a little black and white tuxedo cat, same age as Eleanor, that we’d adopted from the shelter. The cats would be spending our vacation at Tony’s house and I hoped they’d be okay with us leaving so soon.

***

“Are we there yet?” Eliza asked, looking out the window. She yawned, rubbing her eyes as our first stop of the trip came into view.

“Just about,” I told her, smiling. She used to ask that question every five minutes as a child, so I was glad she’d found ways to entertain herself this trip. She and Jimmy had been playing magnetic checkers for the last couple of hours, but I knew we’d all be glad to get to Denver. It was one in the afternoon, but we agreed to stop in Denver for the first leg of the trip. “Denver’s right ahead. We’ll get checked in and then we can decide what we want to do.”

I was ready to get out of the truck. Jimmy and I had split the seven hour drive but it still felt like I’d been driving all day. I really wanted a nap, but there’s so much to see and do in Denver that I was going to forfeit that for sightseeing. I’ve never been to Denver, so I want to see as much as possible.

“Yes!” Eliza said, grinning when we pulled up to the hotel an hour later. “I can stretch!”

Yes, it’s hell being crammed into this 2024 Chevy Silverado with these two. They’re both over six feet tall and while we got a truck that’s comfortable for both, long trips are still hard on their long legs. Both excitedly piled out once I’d parked and grabbed their suitcases, as Jimmy texted his folks with an update. Eliza’s packages were shipped yesterday and his mother says they’re on time for the end of the week.

“It feels good to be out of the truck,” Jimmy commented, heading inside. We’d saved up like mad for this trip, making sure all bills would go out on the bill payer. Tony had our permission to collect and deposit farm rent from Nash, so that would be taken care of as well. “How long is it tomorrow?”

“It’s around ten hours to Vegas and then four to HB. We’re planning to leave here around six again, so we’ll be in Vegas around four. I told your dad we’d leave Vegas at night so we could have a full day.”

Jimmy nodded, as we got checked in, handing Eliza her room key. We were all in one room to save money, but we’d find ways to give her privacy and vice versa.

“I’m going to shower quick,” Eliza announced, pulling her shower stuff from her bag. “What are you guys going to do?”

“I think we’ll go walk around. Call us when you’re ready to meet up, okay?”

She nodded, heading into the bathroom. I kissed my husband, then linked hands as we made our way downstairs. I was excited for a mini-vacation before the real vacation and wanted to take full advantage of it. We stopped at the information desk on our way out, looking for brochures or at least a calendar of events.

“What’s there to do for a day in Denver?” Jimmy asked, looking over the brochures. “We’re heading out early tomorrow morning.”

The woman behind the desk nodded, a thoughtful look to her green eyes. “You might enjoy the Cherry Blossom Festival.” She showed us a brochure, outlining the festival. “It’s a celebration of Japanese-American culture. There’s music, dancing, plenty of things to see and do. I recommend, if you are able, catching the music and food especially. Music and dance run throughout the day and food does as well. But it’s a great way to experience some culture and it’s easy to do in one day.”

“Thanks,” I said, accepting the brochure. “I think Eliza would like this. Should we go back and wait for her?”

Jimmy’s phone buzzed and he laughed. “She’s ready, actually. I’ll tell her to meet us down here.”

A few seconds later, Eliza had joined us, looking more relaxed. I mentioned the festival and she nodded, looking over the schedule. Given that it was almost two, we decided to head down, find some food and then see about some of the music offerings. I can’t believe that, after the next month and a few days, I will have to leave my daughter in California. I’m not ready for that, but know she has to learn to live on her own eventually. On impulse, I hugged her tight, startling her, before we left the hotel.

“I love you, honey.”

She looked confused but nodded. “I love you, too, dad.”

I let her go and held the door open for my family, blinking a bit in the bright summer sun. There was a helpful map to direct us to the festival and as I got back in the truck, I smiled. This was how life was supposed to be.

I'm going to be gone tomorrow and most of Friday, so here's Thursday's chapter a day early!

***

Thirty Nine

The Cherry Blossom Festival was a lot of fun. I tried many new foods, heard a lot of amazing music, and overall had a great time. Now, we’re scrunched back in the truck, just about halfway to Vegas. We got a bit of a later start than planned, since we stayed late at the festival and enjoyed a bit of the Denver nightlife. Therefore, we pushed the departure time back to eight and I think we did the right thing. We’ll get to Vegas around five or six, depending on how long we linger at this stop.

“This was a great idea for dinner,” Eliza said, as we walked into a roadside park. We’d found a grocery store and gotten sandwich fixings so we could avoid more fast food. We’d thought about packing picnics, but there’s the danger of the cooler being in the back of the truck, so the ice wouldn’t last long. “That place has good food, too.”

I’m not sure where we were, exactly, but we were half way between Denver and Vegas. The town we’d stopped in had been small and the roadside park was also small. Either way, though, she was right: the food was very good. They’d had a deli inside, so we bought sandwiches, potato salad, and some cheesecake. This was proving to be a very tasty break and I didn’t want it to end.

“I’m sad that we have to get back into the truck soon,” Eliza said, wiping her mouth. She had a big smile on her face from the cheesecake, and I soon found out why. “Do we have time for me to take a walk?”

“Of course. Just don’t go far,” Jacoby cautioned and she nodded, popping the lens cap from her camera and handing it to me. Needless to say, the camera had been her favorite graduation gift. “Get some good pictures.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and wandered off, camera already clicking. We were somewhere in Colorado and it was very pretty out here. I had my camera as well and when I was done eating, I took off to do some photography as well. We all need some down time, of course, and this was a great chance to get it.

“Okay guys!” Jacoby called half an hour later. “Time to go!”

Reluctantly, Eliza and I put our cameras away and got back into the truck. It was my turn to drive this round, and I made my way back to the interstate, wishing Vegas were a little closer. I’ve been there before, but I have little memory of it. I guess, according to Matt, that once I could drive, I’d drive us up there quite frequently. I hope I didn’t do anything stupid in those days.

“So, what do we want to do when we get to Vegas?” Jacoby asked, as I moved around a slow moving semi. I was always nervous until I got around them, and I think you can understand why.

“I want to take a shower,” Eliza said and I blinked. “I just feel gross after being in the car, okay?”

“That’s okay,” I assured her, getting back over so a little car in a big hurry could speed around me. Enjoy your speeding ticket, asshole. “I’d like to see the strip at night. Gambling I can take or leave, but I hear there is some amazing food in Vegas.”

“I want to check out some shopping. I saved up some money for that purpose on this long trip,” Eliza told us and I nodded. “I bet they have some good used bookstores out there.”

“I’m up for that. I need some new books.”

We were quiet for a moment, enjoying the scenery. At least we can say it’s been a pretty drive so far, even though Nebraska was kind of like a giant sedative. Other than that, though it’s been a great trip, I am ready to get to mom and dad’s and I’m definitely glad we’re flying back to Iowa!

“I have to pee,” Eliza announced three hours into our drive. I’d seen a sign for Vegas and was grateful that it was so close. I was getting a little tired, but a stop should fix our problems. “Can we stop soon?”

I nodded, spotting a sign for a rest stop and got over onto the ramp. I was ready to stretch and since Jacoby was sound asleep in the back, I think he needed a break as well. Eliza woke her father as I parked and gratefully unfolded my long frame from the driver’s seat.

“Come on guys, fifteen minute break.”

When everyone was out, I locked up, and then went into use the restroom. A snack sounded good as well, so when I was done, I got some overpriced chips and pop, then went for a short walk. We were well into Nevada now, but even though it was mostly desert, it still managed to be pretty. I’d grabbed my camera, of course, and once again had an opportunity for pictures. I played with light and shadow, seeing what I could get. This is an amazing camera and it’s great for close-ups and such like.

“Dad? We’re ready.”

I looked at Eliza and sighed. I’m enjoying this trip, but I’m ready to get home and settle for the month. I nodded to indicate I’d heard her and took a couple more shots before I got back in the truck. I cracked my pop open, took a drink, then glanced at Jacoby.

“I’m ready for Vegas,” I complained and he smiled, opening his snacks as well. “I’m enjoying myself, but now I remember why we never drive out here.”

He popped a small Oreo in his mouth as I bit into my chocolate bar. Eliza was laughing at us, as she worked her way through some chips and I smelled coffee. Turning to the back, I saw that she had a Styrofoam cup of the stuff and I frowned.

“Where was the coffee?”

We were already back on the interstate as she explained it had been in one of the vending machines. Oh well. There are plenty of Starbucks in Vegas and I can get my fix then. I hadn’t had any coffee since we left Denver and I was starting to regret that.

“Want me to drive dad?” Eliza offered, as we passed another sign for Vegas. I took the exit and shook my head.

“Thanks, but we’re pretty much here now. You can drive to HB tomorrow, how does that sound?”

She nodded, leaning back in her seat and cracking open a book. We still had about 50 miles to go, but at this point, it seemed like we had days left. Jacoby changed the CD, then yawned.

“Don’t crash on me now,” I warned him, taking another drink of pop. “We’re in the last 50 miles to Vegas and I want you awake.”

“I can drive and so can Eliza if you don’t think you’re going to make it. Once we get to the hotel, I vote we settle in, call your folks and then we rest. We can eat, wander, whatever we want to do, but we all need a long rest. I think we should push departure back to tomorrow evening. It’s only a little over four hours to HB and the rest will do us good.”

I voted for that plan as well and so did Eliza. Mom had told us to be careful driving out here and she’d appreciate the caution. Yawning, I glanced at a sign that said Vegas 30 and I almost cheered. I’ll make it but it will be a close one. I thought the pop would be enough, but so far, that’s not proving to be the case at all.

“YAY!” I cheered when we finally pulled up to the hotel. Jacoby and Eliza took our bags while I parked and then gratefully joined them inside. “I’m so glad to see this hotel.”

“Long drive in?” the receptionist asked and I nodded.

“We’re coming from Iowa. We spent last night in Denver and we’ve been on the road since about eight this morning, stopping a couple of times to get here. The last about 30 miles felt like they took forever.”

“I hope you enjoy your stay,” she said, smiling as she handed us three room keys. I have always appreciated places that will give us extra keys for the kids. “Oh, and here’s a brochure that outlines things to do in Vegas for families.”

“Thanks,” I said, as we made our way to the elevator. We’d decided to stay at New York, New York because it looked like fun. That and I’ve heard their spa is second to none and I can’t wait to try it. “I think I’m going to get a day pass to the spa; how about you guys?”

“I’d like one,” Eliza said, pressing the button for fifth floor. I was ready right now just to crash into bed, but I was hungry, too. “I want a massage and I want my nails done.”

I glanced at her, confused. “My little tomboy wants her nails done?”

She shrugged. “Why not? I wear nail polish sometimes and it actually feels really good to get a mani-pedi. You should get one with me.”

Jacoby chuckled, as we arrived on our floor. “You girls enjoy the spa; I’ll be in the gym.”

I smacked his arm, laughing when he missed the slot for the keycard by a mile. He slapped me back, and I returned the favor. Eliza rolled her eyes as we got into a slapping match, opened the door herself and promptly locked us out.

“Come in when you’re done, children,” she admonished us, and we glanced at each other.

“Did that just happen?” I asked and Jacoby nodded, watching the door closely. “Huh. Bet I can get in there first!”

Lots of caffeine, hours on the road in a small truck and this is what happens. I did manage to get in first, by the way, and laughed as Jacoby only barely kept the door from slamming in his face.

“I am travelling with a bunch of children. S.O.S.,” Eliza intoned, typing into her phone. Probably begging Monet for help, who was still in Iowa. Apparently, they’re driving to Denver at the end of August to take her to college. “Oh good; Monet is going to rescue me soon.”

“Spoil sport,” I teased, as our daughter got her shower supplies and locked herself in the bathroom. “So besides a long nap, what’s on the agenda for tonight?”

It was around six in the evening and my stomach grumbled hungrily. Jacoby shrugged, lying beside me, one arm draped around my middle and I smiled. We could always decide later, of course, as we had plenty of time between tonight and tomorrow. I called mom quick to report our whereabouts and plan and then I gratefully drifted off into dreamland.

***

“Guys? I’m bored.”

Pause.

“Guys? Really, really bored. About to find some random stranger and explore Vegas with them instead.”

“The hell you are!” I shouted, rocketing up in bed. Jacoby made an ‘oof’ sound as he rolled off the bed. “Sorry, honey.”

“Next time warn me before you toss me on the floor. Damn.”

He stood up, hair disheveled as Eliza laughed at our expense. I took a moment to orientate myself and realized I was still in the hotel room in Vegas. The sun was just setting and it looked to be around nine at night.

“Sorry, dad, but I had to get you up somehow. I’m hungry and you’ve been asleep for three hours. Good thing we leave tomorrow night, because you’ll never sleep tonight.”

How is my daughter so smart? I shook my head, yawning and rubbing my eyes. “True. Sorry we slept so long, honey. What do you want to do?”

“I want to get some food. I hear there are some killer buffets in this town,” she said, standing. I watched her shirt ride up to reveal her stomach and my eyes widened. I didn’t think she owned any shirts like that! “What?”

“You change your shirt before we do anything.”

“Dad, I’m 18. I wear this shirt all the time and you never complain.”

I blinked. “You do?”

She looked a little lost for words for a moment there. “Uhm, I mean, it’s new.”

I turned on the light to see that my daughter was just about as red as a tomato. She also had her belly button pierced and quickly covered that with her hands. I think this is going to be an interesting night.

Forty

We finally made it to Huntington Beach around one in the morning after our extended stay in Vegas. We had a good time, took in a show (matinees are the best and cheaper!), and just had a great time. We did decide that Eliza was an adult now, technically, so we didn’t punish her for the belly button ring or the shirt. We just asked her not to wear the shirt around us and she agreed. She’s got nothing to hide, but that’s part of the problem.

“Hey guys! How was the trip?”

Joe walked toward us, grabbing suitcases after he hugged us all.

“It was fine. Much better traveling at night on the freeway,” Eliza stated as I woke Jimmy. “Dad fell asleep in the back.”

“I’ve got him.”

Jimmy kissed me quickly and then we moved into the house, mindful that Barb and Priscilla would be asleep.

“You’ll be very proud of Priscilla,” he said quietly, as we put our suitcases upstairs. “She cleaned this entire house from top to bottom with Barb and me today. She’s been next door a lot, but I think we got the dog dander out of there. We reminded her of the agreement while you guys are here and she said she’d honor it.”

“I appreciate it. How has she been?”

Eliza said good night and Joe hugged her quick before she left. “She’s been good. Barb caught her smoking once and she did get grounded for three days for that. But we haven’t caught her since and she doesn’t smell like smoke, so hopefully it was a onetime deal.”

I sighed, shaking my head. “I thought I had that cured. I guess these are the trying teenage years aren’t they?”

Joe laughed a bit and nodded, locking the front door behind us. “They are. But you’ll survive, I promise. It’s easier when one leaves the nest and you only have one at home.”

I nodded, then bid him good night. The drive down wasn’t bad, but I’m exhausted and I’m ready for bed. I know we’ll have a lot of stuff to cram into one month and I want to be prepared. That starts with a good night of sleep and that’s what I intend to get right now.

“I’m not sleepy,” Jimmy complained as he sat on the bed. I poked my head out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in hand. “I slept all the way here, remember?”

I nodded, as I finished my evening doings. Jimmy came into the bathroom and took his meds then grabbed his own toothbrush. He was welcome to stay up but I’m tired and I’m going to bed. I settled under the covers and was almost asleep when I felt something poking me in the back. With a sigh I turned over, noting the look on Jimmy’s face.

“Now?” I complained, barely able to keep my eyes open. Now he wants to have sex?

“We couldn’t exactly get it on with Eliza in the room,” he reminded me. “I know we managed it in the shower this morning, but really. I know you’re tired, honey, but I’m not.”

I looked into his blue eyes, mesmerizing as they were and was unable to resist. I think he knew it, too, as he drew me in for a kiss which woke me right up.

“Just don’t wake anyone up,” I cautioned him as his tongue plunged into my mouth.

***

“Were you and dad watching a porno last night?”

I glanced over at Priscilla as I sat at the table. Barb had insisted on cooking breakfast for everyone and had refused any help, so I gave up fighting, got coffee and sat down. Now, I tried to dispel the burning sensation in my nose as coffee dribbled out. Her question had caught me off guard and I coughed a bit, mopping my nose.

“I think I burned the inside of my nose,” I complained, causing Barb to turn around and flash me an incredulous look. “Coffee coming out the nose isn’t a good idea when it’s still hot.”

Laughing, she turned back to the pancake griddle as Jimmy stumbled downstairs, still half asleep, apparently. It’s around eight, but we didn’t get to bed until at least three.

“What do you mean?”

She took a sip of coffee (you have to pick your battles sometimes) and gave me a questioning look. “Well, you and dad can never keep quiet…” I think I heard Barb choke. “…so it has to have been a porno making all those soft noises last night.”

Well, Jimmy’s awake now. He was lucky: he hadn’t actually taken a sip of coffee yet when she said that. Barb was fanning herself at the sink, I think from embarrassment (at least I hope) and Jimmy and I were exchanging looks.

“That was you guys? Oh ewww….” Priscilla shuddered, goose bumps appearing on her arms. “Oh that’s gross.”

“Priscilla, how about we don’t talk about sex at the table, please,” Barb gently admonished her. She seemed to have recovered from the fright of earlier and was plating pancakes. “People don’t need to hear about that.”

“No kidding,” Jimmy murmured, as his dad came in. He looked to have been up for a while, probably over at church helping with something. “Morning dad.”

“Good morning. I must’ve missed something; you all are very quiet.”

“You didn’t miss anything important. Priscilla was just talking about a subject that’s not appropriate for the table.”

“Sorry grandma.”

Barb smiled, bringing the food to the table. I was hungry after last night. “No worries; we’ve all done it. Let’s just eat for now. Kelly and Katie have today off so we thought we’d all go to the beach.”

“I’ve missed the beach,” Eliza said, as she came in last. She looked to have showered and dressed, which is more than I can say for Jimmy and me. “Ohh…pancakes.”

We all fell quiet as we ate. The sun was coming in off the ocean and I smiled; I miss California. Barb’s kitchen is built just right to catch the sun, too. The walls are a light yellow, the appliances are white but she’s got sun catchers in each window facing east and the patterns dance on the walls. The floor even shines but not in such a way that you’re blinded by it. The windows have just enough tint to keep the need for shades at zero.

“What do you want to do at the beach?” Barb asked the girls, who had already started seconds.

“I want ice cream and I want to eat at Ruby’s,” Priscilla said and I saw Eliza agree. A quick glance outside revealed no storm clouds. Those two never agree. “Otherwise, I want to keep working on my tan.”

I almost laughed, because she’s as pale as Jimmy, but then I got a good look at her. That kid grew while she was out here and she’s not pale anymore, either. Wow.

“Dad? That’s kind of creepy when you stare like that.”

“Sorry, honey. You have to remember that we haven’t seen you for a month and you’ve changed a bit.”

She grinned. “I know. I got boobs.”

The table dissolved into laughter and it was no good scolding her for that comment. It took a few minutes for the laughter to die down and then I wondered if she’d changed in any other ways. I mean, she’s had her period for a few years now, but has she gotten taller? Her hair has gotten darker, even spending all this time in the sun.

“Well, does anyone want any more food?” Joe asked, before he snagged the last pancake. I don’t know where he puts it, either. Why couldn’t I have gotten the hollow leg? “After breakfast you girls are free to do as you please. Katie and Kelly won’t be here until around noon. I’m sure your parents want to relax from the long drive out here.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be on the beach,” Eliza said, indicating the backyard. I had seen the string of her swimsuit peeking out her tank top and hoped it wasn’t a bikini. “Thanks for breakfast, grandma.”

“No problem. We’re just glad you guys made it without incident. Your stuff is downstairs, by the way, in Jimmy’s old drum room. We can talk about moving day later when you guys have relaxed a bit.”

She nodded and then the girls were on their way outside. When Priscilla shed her shorts and t-shirt I almost died! That bikini isn’t covering much. Oh my lord!

“Breathe, Jacoby,” Joe coached as I stared out the window. Eliza’s wasn’t much better, though it did give a bit more coverage.

I watched as the girl from next door, Alissa, came over, in a similar bikini. I was actually starting to feel faint and then she kissed Priscilla.

“Honey? Honey wake up. Jacoby?”

I blinked and looked into Jimmy’s concerned blue eyes. I was on the floor, though I don’t know why or how I got here.

“Thank god. Mom, don’t call an ambulance, he’s fine. You fainted.”

“I did?” I asked and then I remembered watching out the window. “Oh. I guess it was from shock.”

“Shock?” I think Jimmy was about to change his mind about that ambulance.

“You didn’t see out the window like I did. Priscilla is in a skimpy bikini and she got kissed by Alissa, the neighbor girl.”

“We shouldn’t be upset about a kiss; after all, that would make us hypocrites. Now tell me about this bikini,” he said, helping me sit up. I felt fine, though I’m not sure how I feel about the bikini.

“There’s not much to tell, because it doesn’t cover much. Trust me, it’s skimpy.”

When Jimmy was satisfied that I wasn’t going to faint again, he helped me into a chair. I apologized for causing drama, but his mother said not to worry.

“She’s really blossomed out here,” I noted, as Jimmy watched out the window. I take it he got a glimpse of the bikini, as his mouth fell open. “I told you. We need to have a little talk with her.”

“Just be gentle. She’s a growing young woman, convinced she’s in love,” Barb said gently, as she started to clear the table. I stood to help but she shook her head. “Give her some space, guys. I know you don’t like the bikini, but she has one to wear to the public beach that covers more. She’s not going to hide behind a one piece just because you guys don’t like it. All girls go through this, so just give her some space.”

“As long as Alissa treats her well, that’s all I ask. I don’t care if she’s gay or not I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

Jimmy pulled me in for a hug and smiled. “We knew this was coming, Coby. We used to joke about fending off the boys with a shotgun; guess it’s going to be the girls.”

I had to laugh, considering that he seems to be right. For now, I’d let it go, but I was going to keep an eye on Priscilla, considering past problems. I don’t want her getting into something hurtful.

Forty One

“Where are you going dressed like that?” I asked, as Priscilla came downstairs. It was a quiet night in for most of us, though Eliza was out with friends. Apparently Priscilla is going out as well, but not wearing a stomach baring shirt, a skirt that she shouldn’t bend over in and boots with heels that look too thin to hold her up and too high to be safe.

“I have a date with Alissa,” she told me, as the doorbell rang. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

I sighed, standing. “It’s too revealing and you’re going to break your neck in those boots.”

Shrugging, she toddled out the door, ignoring my shouts to come back. Alissa waved, and I saw her parents standing on their porch shouting at her to come back and change as well. But the girls just wandered to the sidewalk and then into a white car. Who the hell is driving them around?

Grabbing my phone, I quickly texted Priscilla for more information, but she ignored me. Frustrated I dialed her number, but got voicemail.

“Priscilla June Shaddix you come back to this house at once. I need to know who’s driving that car and you are not allowed out in that outfit!”

I hung up, figuring I’d be ignored and ten minutes later, I was right. That child is going to be the death of us, I swear. You’d think she’d be happy to see us, but I guess not.

“She’s been going out with Alissa now and again all month. I was going to tell you who was driving, but you never gave me the chance,” mom said, as I sat back down, trying not to get too angry. “The driver is Alissa’s cousin, Mari. She’s a very nice young lady who lives about two blocks from here. She’s 18 and off to UCLA this fall to study something to do with athletics. Apparently, she’s been running in the mornings with Priscilla and Alissa and she’s taught Cilla some good breathing techniques for her asthma.”

“How has her asthma been?” I wondered, calming down now. If mom and dad approve of Mari, then I guess I do too.

“It’s been fine. Outside of that one flare up that we called you about, she’s done well. Mari thinks she just over did it running one morning.”

I don’t run, so I can’t say I understand, but I nodded anyway. “As long as she’s doing okay, that’s what counts. So Mari is a good person?”

Dad nodded, smiling. “Yes. No need to get worked up, though I understand. I’ve never seen that outfit before, though, so that might be worth having a chat about. Overall, though, she’s been well behaved. I think this month did her good, really. We had some sass from her, but nothing out of the ordinary for her age. She told us about her new truck and that she passed driver’s ed and all her other classes. It sounds like she’s turning around.”

“For now. But I still worry. She’s doing what I did at the same age and I just worry,” I confessed, rubbing my hands over my face. “I don’t want her going down the path I did, you know? I don’t want to be the worried parent sitting at home, wondering where my daughter is, if she’s alive or safe. I don’t want her to be me as an adult. I have memory problems, health problems, you name it all from poor choices I made as a teenager. I don’t want her doing that.”

Mom came to sit by me on the old couch, still the same couch from the 70s. Wooden arms, wooden base, and light blue and pink plaid cushions with various color throw pillows scattered here and there. But it was still comfortable and I still loved it.

“I wouldn’t worry too much yet. She’s made some bad decisions, but all kids do that. Just be the parent to her and educate her as best you can. She’s going to make bad choices, she’s going to experiment but you guys are smart enough to take care of her. She’s lucky to get you guys as parents; you’re laid back, forgiving, and let the girls do what they want. But you also know when to step in and that’s going to be important as they get older.”

I nodded, as mom wrapped me in a hug. “I just worry, that’s all. I see what she’s doing and I want to stop her, but at the same time, I want her to experience life. Maybe you’re right that I need to sit back and just know when to step in. But it’s hard with her.”

“And that’s being a parent for you. It’s full of challenges, but they make it worth the while,” dad assured me as I took a deep breath. “She’s in good hands tonight, so you and Jacoby should take advantage of it. Go to a movie or hang out here or something. Not often you get to do that sort of thing.”

I glanced at Jack, who nodded. Mom and dad smiled and all at once, we were in the rental, on our way downtown to the movie theater.

***

“You sure about this?” I asked, pulling up to the cemetery. As usual, we were visiting Jacoby’s family for one week, now that he’s more comfortable visiting without his mom being here. Jo and Al were more than happy to have us, and we were glad to stay with them. “I’ll be in the car.”

He nodded, taking a deep breath as he got out. He got to visit his mom once a year which really isn’t fair, but it’s the best we could do. I watched him walk up to the headstone, wondering if I should go with, but knowing he needed his privacy. He’d signal me when he was ready for company and in the mean time, I took out a book. It’s better than staring my husband down and it keeps my mind off where we are. In the last year, there’s just been too much loss. He made it through his mom’s one year anniversary, as I made it through Hank’s, but it wasn’t easy.

“You coming?”

I jumped, as Jacoby’s voice came out of nowhere. Putting my book down, I glanced over to the window, then nodded, got out of the car, and followed him to the headstone. I kneeled down and placed a white carnation in front of it, pleased to see that the daisies we’d planted were doing well. Jacoby wanted to give her flowers when he couldn’t be here, so we planted a small daisy plant…the cemetery grounds keeper hasn’t complained about it yet, though it has gotten bigger.

“The daisies look good,” I commented, brushing some dirt from the headstone. I smiled a bit, seeing the picture he’d left in a protective cover. There was a little holder for such things and the family would collect them once a week. It was our family at graduation and we were all smiling and happy. “I love the picture.”

“I brought her up to date on everything. I can feel her, you know, she’s here. I think she’s happy and I think she’s proud of Eliza. I miss her, Jimmy.”

I nodded, holding him as the tears fell. I don’t want to ever lose my mom and dad, but I know the time is coming. They aren’t going to live forever after all. For now, though, I sat with Jacoby, letting him grieve. I knew this was important to him as doing this at Hank and Eleanor’s graves is important to me.

“You are the best husband a guy could ask for,” he told me when he’d calmed a bit. “You really are. I know we’ve had our problems and stuff, but you rock. We’ve been through so much hell and we’re still together.”

I kissed his cheek, squeezing him a bit. “You are also the best husband I could ask for, for all the same reasons. We’ll get through this as we do everything else.”

We were quiet for a moment and I think he’s right about his mom being with us. I mean, I’ve felt her, Hank, and Eleanor in the house before, but never said anything; remember that Jacoby doesn’t believe in ghosts and such. But I suppose it’s different when it’s his mom.

“Well, we should go; Jo and Al are waiting for us.”

His aunt and uncle were taking us out to eat tonight and then to a memorial for Jeanette and other teachers who had passed away in the last two years. The school did this annually and Jeanette would be honored this year. I know it meant a lot to Jacoby and I held him as we walked to the car. It wasn’t going to be easy for him, but we’d get through it.

***

“Thanks for letting us stay,” I said, hugging JoAnn. It was time to head back to Huntington Beach after a busy week with Jacoby’s family. We even managed to squeeze in a family reunion, which the girls drove up for. Like last year, they chose to stay behind, and we understood, though we wish they’d have come. “It’s always appreciated.”

Jo squeezed me back and smiled. “It’s always good to have you guys stay. We were glad the girls came for the reunion as well. I know it’s hard for them to come up here, so we understand that they didn’t stay long. Have a safe drive back, okay?”

I nodded. “We will. Thanks again.”

We got back in the car and I sighed; back to Huntington Beach and in one week, we’d be heading for Iowa without Eliza. I was starting to have second thoughts about letting her be out here without us, even if she does have my folks and Jacoby’s aunt and uncle. I know this will be good for her, but I don’t know if it’s going to be good for me.

***

Eliza has her packet of information for school ready to go. She’s gone over the checklist a million times and arranged with my parents to take her to moving in day. But now comes the hard part: saying goodbye.

Our month is over. Priscilla never caused a lick of trouble, she didn’t wear anything too revealing outside of the backyard and I think she and Alissa might be serious. Or, as serious as fifteen year olds get. But I can tell it was hard for them to say goodbye and Priscilla has asked to come back for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. I think she wants to move out here, but she didn’t ask and I’m not going to open that can of worms.

“Take care, guys. Let us know when you get back to the farm,” Katie said, hugging me tight.

“We will. Eliza, be good for grandma and grandpa, okay? Call us, write us, and we’ll see you at Christmas. Please let us know if you need something.”

She smiled, her grey sweater hanging lose around her tall, thin frame. “Don’t worry, dad, I will. I’ve got grandma and grandpa, too, don’t forget.”

I held her again, feeling tears prick my eyes. I can’t help it; I’m the emotional dad. She held me equally as tight and I think she was homesick already.

“We better go,” Jacoby told me, taking Eliza into his arms again. Neither of us wanted to leave her, but we didn’t have much of a choice. She has to go to school and we have to work in four days. “Love you, honey.”

“Love you, too, dad,” she told Jacoby, wiping her eyes. She’s in good hands, but we worry. “I’ll write all about the first day, I promise.”

At last, we dragged ourselves through security and to our gate. Priscilla had a book and her MP3 player so we were good there. It was nice to know we’d be flying back, as another twenty some hour drive does not sound appealing at all. But leaving my daughter behind isn’t exactly fun, either. I wonder if Priscilla will go to college and if she does, where she’ll go.

“Well, that’s one chapter of our lives over with,” Jacoby noted as we got some coffee and relaxed at our gate. We still had an hour before the flight would leave, but it never hurt to be early. “I hope everything goes well for her.”

“It will. We just have to be patient and let her grow up.”

I sighed, watching planes come and go. It was a fast month, faster than usual, and I didn’t want it to end. I know we’re never moving back here, and while that hurts because Jacoby promised, in some ways, it’s okay. Our house is paid for, the trucks are almost paid for and why start over? Maybe we can retire out here or something.

“You think Priscilla will ever go to college?”

I shrugged, looking over at our youngest daughter. “She might. I hope she does. But who knows?”

On impulse, I hugged my daughter, startling her. She smiled, though, and settled into the hug for a moment before I let her go. I know this is how life goes, your kids grow up and move out, but I’m not ready for it. Either way, I wouldn’t trade my family for the world and I particularly wouldn’t trade the last 18 years for the world. I love my family and I’m thankful I got two chances to be a daddy. Now, we just have to get through the next three years with Priscilla. Let’s hope it goes smoothly.


***

Fin. That's it folks! I am working on ideas for another adventure, but it will be quite a while before it's ready =).

I'm so glad how this one has turned out, even Cilla seems to be doing better. I'm sure Eliza is going to do great at college, although I wonder about her and Johnny from time to time.

Gotta say, the porn discussion at breakfast had me giggling (albeit silently as Phil is asleep), the girl has no internal filter does she?!

I think that was my favorite part to write in this story, actually. Those scenes where Jacoby sees her in the bikini, too, were fun to write =). And no, Cilla has NO filter...which could be good or bad for her, lol!

I did wonder for a bit about Liza and Johnny, but I think you'll be surprised how that turned out =)

I gotta settle down and read the next one, perhaps after I get home tomorrow, I'm away tonight for a party.

Interested to see what you think about the new one =). It's off to a bit of a slow start, but it's coming right along here when I write on it. Bit stuck on a Jimmy chapter now, but otherwise, it's been going quite well =).

Not got time to read it just now, need to eat and go to work, but I'll read this afternoon after I get home, and before the bf gets home!

Sounds good =). I'm still working on it (and editing chapters sometimes leads to re-writing parts), but I think it's coming along nicely. Once I got the title, it kind of solidified where the plot was going!