rckrmtl 12/19/2010, 4:28 pm
I'm honestly quite pissy right now.
My so called best friend has pretty much been ignoring me since my birthday, which also happens to be the night that she and her boyfriend started dating. Now, whatever, I don't care about the boyfriend part. I care about her ignoring me and being a rude fucking bitch in the most blatantly obvious ways. After all I've been through with her, I don't deserve that for even a second.
This past week, she either makes up excuses as to why she can't get online, or she just ignored me. Like, she actually told me that her internet was out. Then, I watched her as she got on facebook. She even posted status updates. She wasn't on facebook mobile either... she was on desktop facebook. Y'know, the same facebook that runs on the same internet MSN runs on.
This girl has woken me up at all hours of the night to bitch to me about her life, which wouldn't be that bad if she just took control of it. I've had to talk her down from suicide attempts at least five times that I can think of. She's had no qualms about badgering me to get on MSN to talk even when I was sick. Even this past week, when I should've been in the hospital from being so sick, I was online to talk to her so she could bitch at me about her family. Two nights ago, I wanted someone to talk to because I really don't have any friends here at home and I was bored. She told me she was "too sick" and didn't have the decency to respond to my text of, "feel better!". Like, fuck her! I've been legitimately too sick and by God, I still had to talk to her or all hell would break loose!
I mean, if you don't want to talk, just say so! Say you're going out with your boyfriend! Just tell me the fucking truth. Don't lie to me and make it obvious that you're lying! I mean, for fuck's sake, I think that's the least she could do! I'm sick of being told, "stay up, I'll be online!" just for five hours to go by without her saying, "oh, nevermind, something came up!"
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should just accept that she has a boyfriend and I don't, so I need to let her have her fun. But, fuck, I've been there for her through so much. Part of the reason why a love interest last year didn't happen was because I cancelled dates thanks to her having a personal crisis. I've given up time with family and friends just so she can type her sorrows away to me. And they're not even legitimate problems. She's upset because she's fat... lose weight. She's upset because she lives with her parents... save money and move out. She's upset because she hates her job... then fucking get a new one.
The last time I talked her, she had a fucking meltdown over the phone because her mom wouldn't let her keep chinchillas that her boyfriend gave her. Grow the fuck up. Her mom is right. They live in a small house. There's currently four people living in a three bedroom house. They have a cat. She also has a fish. And her mom babysits her niece and nephew through the day. There's no need in bringing in more animals. Plus, she can't afford to feed two more animals and buy them supplies and all of that. And if she wants to move out so bad, why the fuck would she waste money on chinchillas?!
I don't know. I'm ready to end this friendship. We're online friends. I hate to end it, because we've been friends for about five/six years now, but I've really had it. I'm tired of dealing with her. I'm tired of always putting myself out there just to get burned. I put my life on hold for her all the goddamn time and I get nothing in return. She hasn't even had the decency enough to ask me how I've been feeling and she KNEW how sick I was. But this is nothing new. I always get fucked over by her... always. My problems are never really problems, or at least not to her. No matter how bad of a day I have, no matter what goes wrong in my life, she always has worse problems.
Like, I'm sorry, but what kind of friend acts that way? I'm just so pissed. And honestly, I'm really hurt.
I'm done. Honestly, I am fucking done. If she wants to speak to me, she knows my fucking number.