it's been a night full of dizzyingly discouraging feelings for me, tonight.
it started with seeing the comments on ESPN.com on their story of NHL player's Jason Collin's coming out today. the mods are deleting a lot of the negative comments (which i'm not even so sure i'm happy about), but before they go through them all, i'd say about 80% of the comments are full of disgust towards gay people.
then i ended up, for some reason, doing a google search, "a7x anti-gay". turns out the members of avenged sevenfold have done things like using the word "faggot" to curse out a guy, and have done an interview full of anti-gay comments.
i'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this.
i love all of a7x's tracks [except critical acclaim, but that's a topic for a different thread]. i had fallen deeply in love with a7x's music about half a decade ago. their stuff seems to understand some of the deeper parts of my Self when no other band's music does.
i can't imagine being able to separate the members from the music, now. part of my feeling swept up and carried to a different place and re-energized and made to feel better, when i listen to their music, is a kind of "admiration" i feel. this admiration from the timbre and voice of the vocalist, admiration to what i feel is original and expressive song structure, admiration for how they lyrics speak to me.
i right now feel like someone i really look up to and admire, a hero, is outright rejecting me because of my sexual orientation. it's dizzying and it hurts. it's like the feeling of someone deeply important to you in your life, has now cut you off, and the security of knowing you have a /friend/ as you go through in life, has been lost.
man, i kind of wish i didn't fucking make that internet search in the first place, now... .
i don't know how others might be able to separate the music they love so deeply, from the people who make that music.. .
it started with seeing the comments on ESPN.com on their story of NHL player's Jason Collin's coming out today. the mods are deleting a lot of the negative comments (which i'm not even so sure i'm happy about), but before they go through them all, i'd say about 80% of the comments are full of disgust towards gay people.
then i ended up, for some reason, doing a google search, "a7x anti-gay". turns out the members of avenged sevenfold have done things like using the word "faggot" to curse out a guy, and have done an interview full of anti-gay comments.
i'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this.
i love all of a7x's tracks [except critical acclaim, but that's a topic for a different thread]. i had fallen deeply in love with a7x's music about half a decade ago. their stuff seems to understand some of the deeper parts of my Self when no other band's music does.
i can't imagine being able to separate the members from the music, now. part of my feeling swept up and carried to a different place and re-energized and made to feel better, when i listen to their music, is a kind of "admiration" i feel. this admiration from the timbre and voice of the vocalist, admiration to what i feel is original and expressive song structure, admiration for how they lyrics speak to me.
i right now feel like someone i really look up to and admire, a hero, is outright rejecting me because of my sexual orientation. it's dizzying and it hurts. it's like the feeling of someone deeply important to you in your life, has now cut you off, and the security of knowing you have a /friend/ as you go through in life, has been lost.
man, i kind of wish i didn't fucking make that internet search in the first place, now... .
i don't know how others might be able to separate the music they love so deeply, from the people who make that music.. .