11.08.13 U/D The Aviators - Part Forty-Three/Four [M Shadows/Val]

*kicks the guild*

~~~~


Part Twenty-Four

I’m brought awake by the sound of a familiar voice screeching out in the hallway.

“You shit! How could you do that to her?” It’s Michelle, my sister. I blink, sitting up, the towel which is still wrapped around me, slipping a little. I tug it back up, noting that I’m still naked beneath it, and then turn my attention to the voices, listening. The sound of something hitting flesh reaches my ears and then Matt’s raspy voice.

“Quit it! I didn’t have a fucking choice.” His tone is pained.

“Yeah, right...you...you...shit I can’t even say the words...you...just...you asshole.” Michelle sounds pissed; obviously Matt has just got done telling her what happened. But, I wonder what she’s even doing here?

“Hey, fucking stop that! It’s not my fault!” Matt is protesting against something; sounds like she’s hitting him with a shoe, or something, I can’t hear very well.

“Yeah, right. You’re just too damned...ugh...stay there. I’m going to see how she is. No, just stay there, Sanders. I’ll be right back.” There’s a moment’s pause, and then she adds, “Brian, sit on him if you have to.”

Oh, so that’s why she’s here. Brian probably needs to see Matt about the album, or something. I rub at my face just as Michelle’s sharp footsteps arrive outside the room. She pushes the door open and steps in, gaze zeroing in on me almost the instant she walks in.

“Val?”

Drawing the towel closer around my body, I look down at the mattress, vision blurring. I feel the bed dip down next to me, shuffling as she gets comfortable. She says nothing more than my name, just waiting, giving me time to receive her. Brushing the back of my hand over my eyes and taking several deep breaths, I finally manage to look at her.

“Hey.” My voice is hoarse, from all the crying. I cough and try again. “Hey, what’re you doing here?”

Michelle cocks her head to the side. “Oh, Brian had to come see Matt about some song...but I don’t really think that’s important, right now.” She looks at me for a long moment, obviously trying to figure out how to broach the subject without upsetting me.

I shake my head. I don’t really want to talk about what happened. It’s still too fresh, too raw. And even though I’ve physically washed myself of what Matt did to me...I still feel dirty... I mean, I feel really shitty...just...like I can’t get myself clean enough after that. I know talking about it will probably help. But, I just don’t feel up to it. Ironically, I’d much rather be sitting with Matt, just being with him, than talking about what he did to me.

Crazy, right? I mean, shit, most people would want to get away from the person who...forced themselves upon them...as far away as possible. But for me, it’s different. Besides the fact that I can’t get away from him... Maybe it’s because I’m a slave, and I’ve been through much worse? Maybe it’s because I know Matt would never do something like that in normal circumstances. I don’t know.

I look at Michelle, biting my lip. She shakes her head, anger simmering in her eyes.

“I can’t believe he’d do that to you.”

I look down again. “He didn’t have a choice...”

“That’s what he said.” Venom drips from my sister’s voice. I sigh, meeting her sharp gaze.

“It’s the truth. A guy from the Guild came and told him he had to do it.” I play with the folds of the towel, pulling it between my fingers. She watches me, shaking her head again.

“He could’ve refused.”

Shivering, I mutter, “No. He might have done something worse.”

“Who? Matt?”

“No. The guy from the Guild.” I swing my legs onto the floor and wiggle my toes, staring down at them. The towel slips down again; this time I don’t bother pulling it back around me.

Michelle clears her throat. “Right.” I can tell she doesn’t know what to say to that, so she changes the subject. Well, sort of. “How ‘bout you get dressed and we go out there and talk to Mr Douchebag.” There’s a hint of laughter in her tone, there’s still anger beneath the surface, though.

I look at her, forcing a smile. I don’t think Matt’s a douche for what he did. I know it hurt him to do that. Not that it excuses what was done to me. I just can’t hold it against him. He was doing what he thought was right at the time, to give the impression he was following Guild protocol, and to get them off our backs.

She rolls her eyes at me, “Come on.”

Sighing, I get up and go to the closet, rifling through the new clothes. Michelle joins me, looking as well.

“What about that one?” She is pointing to a simple white blouse and a pair of dark pants. I take them from the closet, grabbing some underwear, and quickly slip into them, not really thinking about what I’m doing. Dressing is such an automatic thing for me. It’s usually just a way for me to cover myself up, hide my body away from the men who always stare at me.

Michelle surprises me though; once I’m done, she grabs me by the shoulder and turns me to the mirror.

“Damn, sis...look at yourself...you make that look stunning.”

I blink at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t see anything special, just...myself. Shrugging, I turn away, looking at her.

“Let’s just go out there...” I let out a tremulous breath, tugging self-consciously at the waist of my pants, shifting on my feet.

She gives me a long, measured look, as if she sees something I don’t. “You seem different.”

It’s like a switch has been flipped in my head, because I can’t help but snap at her, “I’ve just been raped by the man I love, then been told by that same man that he loves me. So, yeah...something’s different. Forgive me for changing.” Glaring at her, I wait for her to say something. Part of me can’t believe I just said that, but another feels a sense of relief that I got that out.

Michelle stares at me, pupils dilating. Then as if the message only just reached her ears, she says in a shocked tone, “Say what? Matt said he loves you?”

I shiver, rubbing at my arms, nodding slowly. There is quiet after that. Not that I’m surprised, or anything. I’m still not quite in the same place, either. I mean, rules aside, it’s a shocking revelation at any level. And, I doubt my sister ever thought Matt would fall in love. She’d told me he was quite a player when the band was first getting on its legs. And at high school even though he hadn’t been hugely popular, he’d always played himself up to the girls at school. One reason why she hadn’t been a fan of him.

“Holy shit,” her voice is a mere breath from across the room. I look to where she’s now standing by the door.

“What?”

She shakes her head. “Unbelievable. The big, bad, M Shadows has finally found someone he says he loves...first sign of the Apocalypse, did you know that.”

I just stare at her. She sighs, shaking her head some more.

“Come on.” She says nothing else just pushes open the door and walks out into the hall. I follow slowly, biting my bottom lip in a nervous gesture.

Matt and Brian are in the kitchen, sitting at the small table. Matt has his head in his hands, not looking at his friend. The guitarist is leaning back on his chair, arms across his chest a tight expression on his face. I can feel the tension in the room. Michelle raises her eyebrows at her boyfriend.

He sighs, shaking his head, eyes flickering toward me. “Hey, Val.”

I give a tiny wave, just as my master lifts his head and looks over at me. The pain in his eyes is unmistakeable; I’m guessing he’s still kicking himself over the whole incident. He looks like a dog who’s been kicked by his master. Pretty ironic, considering he is my master. But, anyway, the expression on his face makes me want to just go over and hug him. And, something inside me compels me just to do that, and really, what’s the point in ignoring that?

Matt starts slightly, as if I surprise him by slipping my arms around his shoulders from behind, leaning my cheek against his back. I catch Brian rolling his eyes at us, and I lift my head up to look at him. But Michelle starts in before either one of us can say anything.

“Matt, Val says you told her you love her.”

Brian does a double take; Matt just looks at my twin with a tired expression. She folds her arm, glaring at him.

“Is it true?”

I feel his shoulders rise and fall as he breathes deeply, before answering in a gruff tone. “Yeah.” His voice takes on a defensive edge. “It’s not like I could lie about something like that, Chelle.”

“No, really? You love Val?” Brian cuts in, with a snort. Matt shoots a hard look at him. The guitarist lifts his hands. “Hey, just ‘cause I figured out you cared about her doesn’t mean I was actually sure of what you felt, Matt.”

That’s true. All that stuff Brian said at the studio the other day...I don’t think he was calling him out on that.

Matt sighs, shaking his head. “Right.”

Michelle frowns. “I don’t get it.”

I turn my head to look at her; Matt does too, twisting his torso around. He touches my hair briefly, as he raises his eyebrows at her.

“What’s there to get?” He gives her a quizzical look.

She points a finger at him. “If you love her. Why did you...?” She waves her hand at me, unable to finish the question. I don’t blame her, what Matt did was awful.

I peek up into his face, watching as his brows draw together in a deep frown. He’s thinking, the thoughts obvious as they flicker across his face. He rubs fingers against his eyes, shaking his head again.

“I didn’t have a choice, Michelle. I already told you that.”

“We all have choices.”

“No.” Matt looks toward her, and I see something akin to pain flash in his eyes. “Do you know what might have happened if I’d refused? Do you?” He doesn’t let her get a word in, answering his own question. “He said it would be grounds to take Val from me. And I’m not gonna fucking let that happen.” He shakes his head even more. “Never, Chelle. I can’t let that happen. I won’t...” His voice trails off and, turning on his chair, he pulls me into his arms, burying his face in my hair.

I blink a little surprised, but then I wrap my arms around his waist, holding on to him.

Michelle huffs, but doesn’t say anything more. Brian shifts about on his chair, clearing his throat several times, but he says nothing, either. Letting Matt and I have our little moment with minimal interruption.

We need this; I need to feel safe in his arms. I need the reassurance that he’s here for me. Regardless of what it might look like to other people. I mean, he’s just done the one thing, that if I were a free woman, he could be charged for, should be charged for. But, because I’m a slave...the consequences are much different. And, at any rate, it doesn’t change how I feel about him.

It’s not like being an abuse victim, even though those who are on the outside looking in might see it that way. They might ask why I want to be anywhere near him, after the fact. But, gee...one, I don’t have a choice in the matter, and two...it’s not like he’s some psychosexual deviant who enjoys doing such a thing. He said it killed him; I believe him.

Leaning into Matt’s body, I sigh softly. He breathes deeply, then lifts his face away from me and glances over at Brian. I peek over as well, noticing that he’s found the Guidelines and is skimming over the pages with an expression of utter incredulity.

Matt groans. “Brian...”

Brian grimaces at him. “What kind of shit is this?”

“The Guild,” Matt states, “they’re in control of the whole...slave trade business.”

“Fuck...that’s crazy.” He looks through the pages scowling, then his pupils dilate. “Uh...buddy...it says here that you can’t-”

“I know.” Matt sighs, hugging me tighter. I shift a little; he relaxes his grip and murmurs an apology. I smile a little, leaning into his hold. He shakes his head at his friend. We both know we can’t feel this way about each other; that it’s against the rules. But feelings can’t just be argued with. Rules might say no. But, our hearts are another matter altogether.

Brian slaps the guide shut and stares at us for a long few minutes; then he shakes his own head. “Well, anyway...there’s one other thing I needed to put passed you.”

Matt lifts an eyebrow. “What? Apart from that change for the demos?”

Brian nods as Michelle moves to stand behind him. “Yeah. JD called me earlier, wondering whether he could bring his buddy around next time we get together. He’s on leave as of the rest of this week and the next, apparently.”

Matt shrugs. “Sure, whatever. The more the merrier.” His tone is nonchalant revealing no emotion in any way. I’m not even sure whether he actually means it or not. But, he gets like that sometimes, unreadable, unknowable.

Michelle smirks. “Does that mean I can come as well? I’m free.” I peek at her; she winks at me. Matt catches our mutual looks and nods.

“Yeah, maybe you and Val can hang out.”

I nod against his shoulder, liking the sound of that. That way I won’t have to worry about JD. Michelle gives Matt a hard look.

“Yeah, that was kinda the idea. I don’t want to hang out with you.”

Matt glares at her. “I know you don’t like me...”

Her eyes widen as she pretends to act all offended. “What a load of bullshit, Sanders. I just want to hang with my sis.”

He chuckles low; Brian snorts. “It’s not news, darling.”

My sister laughs, tossing her hair out of her face. I can’t help but giggle at the overtly dramatic pose that she strikes as she glowers at my master. With her hands on her hips, one jutting out toward Matt, her eyes are glaring daggers at him.

“It’s still bullshit,” she retorts, poking at the air with her right index finger.

Matt flips her off in a mock gesture of irritation, but I note the hint of a smirk playing across his lips. Whatever is between the two of them is no more apparent than it has ever been, and I’m still wondering the full reason behind their animosity toward each other.

Brian sighs, rolling his eyes. “Chelle, lay off him.” He stands, tugging his keys from his back pocket. “Come on, we’ve intruded too long, and we have an appointment.”

Michelle turns her laser-glare at her boyfriend. “Brian!”

He just gives her a long suffering look. She sighs and turns back to us. I smile at her, mouthing ‘thankyou’. She shakes her head, smiling back. The look in her eyes tells me that there’s no need for thanks. We’re sisters, after all. She waggles her fingers at Matt then flounces out of the kitchen. I watch her go. Matt doesn’t, looking to his friend instead.

“See you in a couple of days?”

Brian nods coming over to clap a hand to Matt’s shoulder. He then looks at me, a soft expression on his face.

“Take care, the both of you.” He pauses looking at the cover of the Guidelines, before shaking his head some more and walking out with a cheerful ‘bye’.

Matt sighs, sitting back more against his chair. I look into his face.

“Master?”

His lips twitch. “We need to talk...but...ugh...I’m so not in the mood, right now.” He looks wrecked, and I don’t blame him. A faraway look passes over his face and he seems to disappear from me for a moment. I bite my lip trying to come up with something we can do to occupy our minds. Then I hear the low mournful whining of Bella coming from the backyard. Perfect timing.

“Master?”

He tilts his head, coming back from wherever his mind just went. “Yeah?”

“I think Bella wants a walk.”

Matt rubs at my hips, nodding slowly as if it’s taking a while for my statement to reach his brain. “Right. A walk. Yeah...” He hugs me close again. “Sounds like a plan...”

He eases me away from him then, standing. He still looks tired, but I think some fresh air might do some good. For both of us. He stands there for a moment still nodding, almost to himself now. Then he looks at me, a small smile on his face. I smile back, a hesitant movement of my lips. He sighs, reaching out to take hold of my hands.

“I’m sorry,” the words are spoken in a whisper. I shake my head at him. He’s already said that enough. I know that he’s sorry for what he’s done.

“Let’s just go for a walk, Master.”

Matt squeezes my hands in a tender gesture. “Alright...talk after...”

I nod, just as Bella starts howling. Matt laughs. “She definitely needs a walk.” He shakes his head muttering as he releases my hands, “Crazy mutt hasn’t been the same since she ate those Brownies...”

I follow him out to the backyard, smiling as Bella greets him, all sloppy licks and wiggling body. He chuckles, hooking the leash on her collar. Then he holds his hand out to me.

“Come on.”

I place my hand in his and we head out, looking for all the world, like any other young couple spending some quiet time together. If only they knew...

I'm kinda surprised that Matt told Brian/Chelle what happened, but I'm glad he has. Now that they know just how bad The Guild is too, hopefully they can help Matt/Val out.

And I REALLY do't want JDs friend to come over cos I get this awful feeling Zacky's gonna get his ass kicked.

What is it with Zacky? lol

~~~~~~


Part Twenty-Five – “But, it’s the main thing.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Leash off, Bella is racing along the water’s edge, tail flagging nineteen to the dozen, as we walk along the beach front. Matt is holding my hand, his thumb tracing circles against my palm. The end of Bella’s leash is hanging out of the back pocket of his shorts. I peer up at him, thinking on his earlier interactions with my sister. He looks down at me, lowering the shades that are covering his gaze.

“What is it?”

Meeting his eyes, I mull over my thoughts. “Well, you and my sister...I don’t get why she’s like...that, with you.”

Matt gives me a long look then sighs. “It’s not just her. It’s me too.”

I flush, lowering my eyes. I wasn’t going to mention that, after all it’s not my place to comment on his conduct. My sister is one thing, but Matt’s a no go zone, as far as I’m concerned.

Matt squeezes my hand. “Val, it’s a long story.” He gives a short laugh, no trace of amusement evident. I wonder at that, and peer up at him again. His brow is furrowing and he pinches at the bridge of his nose, this time pushing his shades up his face.

I shuffle my toes in the sand; I took my sandals off earlier, hiding them under a bush back up the beach. You’d think that people might steal them, but Matt says he used to always hide things there and no one has ever found them. The sand is cool on my feet and I give us both time to consider Matt’s statement. Then I glance at his face again.

“We don’t have to be anywhere right now...you could tell me.”

Matt cocks an eyebrow at me, the dark arch rising above the top of his Aviators. “Are you asking me?”

I blush, realising he’s gently correcting me. Lowering my eyes, I murmur, “Sorry, you don’t have to, if you don’t want to...” There’s silence then and I shiver, wondering if he’s mad at me. He says nothing more, for now.

We keep walking; Bella bounces back toward us, shaking her body, spraying water and sand over us. Matt laughs, releasing my hand and lunging at her. She dodges him then stands still several feet away, tongue lolling from her mouth. Matt growls at her. Bella barks back at him, tail wagging so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t fall off the end of her body. Matt pauses, as she runs back toward him, and allows her to jump up on him. He dances around with her, and then begins chasing her along the stretch of sand.

I hang back, watching them. Bella seems to be laughing at Matt in that familiar irrepressible way that all dogs have. I think dogs always look perpetually amused with humans. He’s laughing too, yelling at her as she twists and turns, avoiding him.

“C’mere, you crazy bitch!” Matt’s laughing so hard he can’t keep up with her and eventually collapses on the sand, several feet from where I’m standing. Bella rushes up to him, standing all over him, and licking him all over the face.

“Stop, stop...Bella...quit it...” He’s pushing at her, chuckling deep in his chest, finally managing to get her to move aside so he can sit up. Wiping his sleeve against his face, then bracing his palms against his shins, he looks over to me. “Whew...crazy dog...Val, come over here.... Bella, sit.” The last he shoots at the still wiggling Lab who’s trying to pounce on him again.

Bella whines, he glares, pointing at the sand. “Sit.”

If a dog could pout, I’m sure she would be, but she obeys him, laying her head between her paws and gazing at him with that look of adulation I think only dogs can pull off. He smirks at her then swings his head back to me.

“Val.” Matt pats the spot beside him.

I blink at him, adjusting my pants, before joining him. He rubs gently at my arm then wraps both his around his knees, clasping his hands in front of them. Shuffling into a comfortable position, I lean my cheek against his shoulder. He smiles at me before gazing out at the small waves that are breaking on the sand.

We sit in silence for a long while watching as other people pass by. A group of teens race pass kicking a ball between each other; a young woman jogs along the water’s edge; an older couple walk by heads together, hands linked together in a sign of their love. A family: mom, dad couple of kids and a dog appear near us. Bella takes an interest and springs up, dashing over to the other dog.

Matt calls out to her, a stern note in his voice, “Bella! Get back here!”

She barks once at the other dog, who whimpers and races back to its owners. But after a moment, Bella obeys, dashing back and sprawling out on the sand beside him. He smirks, reaching over to ruffle her ears. She wriggles her body, bumping her head up against his hand. He chuckles low and begins to stroke her fur. I smile a little, observing the way he treats her. He’s firm, yet gentle. Kind of like how he is with me.

Matt catches my look. “What’re you thinking, Val?” He removes his shades, hooking them on his shirt. The whole time he keeps his level gaze on my face.

I flush a little. “Oh...just that some people would probably be surprised how gentle a man you really are...”

He tilts his head, bemusement in his eyes. “Oh?”

Lowering my eyes, I strain some sand through my fingers. I really have no idea what made me answer him that way; the words just came out of my mouth. Matt shifts his weight so he’s looking at me. I peer at him. He continues to give me that quizzical stare.

I bite my lip. “Well, y’know your whole stage persona...”

Matt’s dimples come on show then, lips curving in a broad smile. “Yeah. I’m a right motherfucker.” He shakes his head, expression becoming sombre. “Most people don’t get to see the real me. I reserve that person for those closest to me.”

He brushes a finger against my cheek, smiling softly. My cheeks glow from the attention; I duck my head down in embarrassment. The thought that he’s including me in that statement makes my throat tighten a little. I mean, he’s said the words, but it’s still so fresh. And after what happened...before. I can’t handle the intimacy of the situation right now. I know that makes no sense. But, it’s one thing to hold his hand, or walk next to him, but the close, tender touches which are so much more intimate, that’s not as easy to cope with.

Matt tilts my chin up so he can meet my gaze. There’s a look in his eyes that I can’t decipher, but it sends tingles down my spine.

He leans in closer and nuzzles against my cheek, murmuring, “I’m nice to fans...and...y’know, they deserve that, ‘cause they’re what keep the band out there.” He sighs, sitting back a little, looking at me. “But, they’re not family.”

Matt looks away again, but leaves his hand resting against my cheek for a long while. I lean into his touch, wanting to maintain the contact between us. What he’s saying makes perfect sense to me. I know that bands like to connect with their fans, but that the truly successful ones are the bands who manage to keep their private lives from encroaching on their professional ones. And the fans respect that.

I know there are a small minority who go out of their way to slag off the partners of the guys. I’ve even seen, recently, a couple of things about me. Not the truth mind, because no one other than the guys and management know that I’m a slave, that Matt bought me. But, still it’s a little sad how much time some people, especially teenage girls, spend on pissing all over the guys’ private, personal lives. Though, part of me is curious as to the reaction that would occur if the fans found out about our relationship.

Matt clears his throat, drawing my focus back to him. I open my mouth to speak. “Ma-”

“Shhh.” He presses fingertips to my lips. “Don’t talk.” He runs his thumb along my bottom lip. “I wanna tell you some things...so, just listen. ‘Kay?” I nod.

He sighs, withdrawing his hand, raking his fingers through his hair. Whatever he wants to say isn’t coming easy, which becomes obvious when he mumbles in an absent tone, “Gotta get rid of this shit...” The corners of his lips quirk a little. “Might get Jason to shave it off for me.”

I tilt my head. He looks at me. “Berry.” His brow furrows. “You didn’t think I meant Denmore?”

Shaking my head, I look down at the ground. Matt huffs. “Anyway.” He leans back in the sand, folding his arms. “Did I mention I have a sister?”

Moving onto my side, I shake my head in the negative. I can’t remember if he has or not. He might have, but I probably wasn’t paying attention. Bad Valary.

He glances at me sideways a proud smile gracing his lips. “Amy. She’s a pro basketball player. You’ll have to meet her sometime.” He rubs at his cheek. He’s leading to something important; I can tell by the way his eyes are focussing on a spot in the distance.

I wait, curled on my side, watching, listening to him. He heaves a sigh.

“She and Chelle were best friends, back in elementary school.” Matt lays a forearm over his face, breathing deeply before continuing. “They were in the same year, a couple below me and Syn.”

He tenses up at some memory that must come to mind. I reach out to lay a hand on his bicep; it’s tight. Kneading gently, I ease the tension. He shifts his arm and smiles at me. My stomach does back flips at the warmth in the expression. It makes me wonder at what he’s actually doing. No other master I’ve had has ever told me anything of their personal lives. They’ve never opened up to me. But then, I wasn’t there for that, was I? I was nothing but a sex slave to them. Once again, Matt is proving the difference between him, and them, to me.

He goes on. “Michelle tolerated me back then whenever she came over to hang with my sis. She just thought of me as Amy’s annoying big brother.” He gives a harsh laugh. “Then she started going out with this punkass. Can’t remember what year that was.”

Matt turns his eyes to mine; there’s darkness in their depths. Whoever this guy was he obviously didn’t like him. I’m curious to know what happened, but I keep quiet, knowing that he will tell me.

“Amy thought the guy was bad news. She told me that she was worried for Chelle. And, anyway, I’d heard rumours about him.” Matt clenches his jaw. “Syn and I both tried to talk some sense into her...but she wouldn’t listen.” He grinds his teeth together. Scratch that, I think he must’ve hated the guy.

Matt groans. “She forgave Syn for interfering. I don’t really know why...”

“Maybe because Amy hadn’t told him about the guy?” I hazard a suggestion.

He snorts, but nods in agreement. “That’s probably it.”

He stops for a moment; Bella is shuffling forward then flops her belly over his feet. He smirks at her. Then he looks at me again.

“She stopped talking to my sister...and well, she couldn’t wait for me to drop out of school.” He laughs sardonically. “Which I did. Dropped out at Grade Ten. Couldn’t hack it anymore...” He chortles. “Not that you can really learn how to be in a famous band at high school.”

He becomes serious again. “Anyhow. That punk...ended up dumping Chelle. And just a few years ago he was arrested in Long Beach, for killing someone in a drive by shooting.”

I shudder at that. He wraps an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to him. We fall quiet after he finishes talking. The mood is darker than before, and I notice Matt withdraw into his mind, mulling over things. Bella is dozing at his feet, tail twitching every now and again. I snuggle into his side, relaxing and watching as the waves break against the shoreline.

Time passes, as do a lot more people; most of them I recognise from other forays out on the town. Several I’m sure I must’ve have seen when I went shopping with my sister. Huntington Beach is small enough for everyone to know just about everyone else. So, the fact that Matt and the band have managed to keep my identity under wraps is nothing short of a miracle.

Matt shakes his head, squeezing me gently.

“Anyway,” he says, continuing as if there was no break between his earlier words, “Chelle and I haven’t seen eye-to-eye ever since. I mean all that shit that went down...it’s not the only reason she didn’t like me...but, it’s the main thing.” He rolls his eyes. “Only reason she doesn’t talk shit to me now, or vice-versa, is ‘cause she and Brian are together.”

He looks down at me. “She’s been a great support for him with the band and everything. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he popped the question, any time soon.”

I smile at the thought of my sister marrying the guitarist. Yes, Matt and Michelle aren’t really friends, but she’s my sister and I can see how content she is with Brian. So, if...when it happens I will be very happy for both of them. Part of me wishes I could have something like what she has with Brian, with Matt. But, I’m a slave, so that’s a no go. Which really sucks.

If only...

Matt removes his arm from my waist, stretching both above his head. “We should head back.”

He tilts his head up to the sky. I follow his gaze. Clouds scuttle across the wide blue expanse. The sun is inching its way across the stretch of sky, signalling the passing of time. I nod a little.

He smiles at me, sliding his Aviators back on. “We can have an early dinner...’cause I think we missed lunch, somehow...” He gives an amused snort. “Ever had Japanese?”

“No.” I’ve never had anything much, really. Only since being with Matt have I ever had anything other than really plain sandwiches or broth...or whatever shit my former masters bothered to give me.

“Well, you’re in for a treat.” He strokes my cheek. “We can pick some up on the way home.”

I nod some more. My mind is too full with everything he’s just told me to really concentrate on the idea of food. But, my stomach is rumbling, so my body obviously is taking note.

Matt pushes up off the sand, dusting sticky grains from the backs of his shorts and legs. Then he holds his hand out to me. I grasp it tightly, and he pulls me to my feet. He dusts the back of my pants; a tingle runs up my spine, but I lean into his touch. A small smirk touches the corners of his mouth. He then nudges Bella with his foot.

“Wake up, crazy dog.”

Bella jumps up in an instant, tail flagging furiously tongue hanging between her canines. I can’t help but laugh at how comical she looks. Matt joins in, shaking his head.

“Silly mutt. C’mon, let’s go.” He squeezes my hand; a tender gesture. Then he turns and heads back along the sand.

I stay close by his side, smiling as Bella races ahead of us, impatient to get home.

That was a really sweet chapter, very peaceful. Why does it feel like the calm before a hurricane though?!

Maybe because that's the case?

~~~~


Part Twenty-Six – “Get our mind off things for a while.”

I can still remember the first real meal I’d ever had in my life. It was when I was two years old. Mom stood at the kitchen stove stirring a huge pot of Carbonara sauce. I sat in my highchair, next to my twin, waiting for it to be ready. While I sat quietly, Michelle was banging her spoon against the side of her chair; she was always much more impatient than me. The youngest of our older brothers, he was three, was trying to tell her to stop, in that typical three-year-old manner. Yelling, basically.

Mom looked over and just smiled. Our other siblings were milling around her trying to put their fingers in the sauce while she wasn’t looking. At two, I didn’t really understand what was going on, all I understood was that I could smell something really tasty and I wanted it in my mouth. That sensation of having something fulfilling, and nourishing inside me was something I always held onto. At that age though, I had no real idea how important it was to me. It wasn’t until I was torn from my comfortable family life that I realised how much I’d taken it for granted.

Becoming a slave, set me on a whole different course, and other things became much more important to me. Self-preservation, surviving became foremost in my mind. Nothing else ever really mattered. Not the food I ate, or the clothes I wore. Not that I wore anything much with any of my previous owners.

Being here with Matt, though, is different again. And that brings me to the point I want to make now. I’m eating properly again. I’m still really slimmed down. But, I like to think I’m a lot more healthy with it. When I say I’m eating properly, I don’t mean I’m on some fandangled diet or anything like that. Unless of course you call it a ‘see-food’ diet.

I don’t think I’ve eaten such a variety of meals since I started to eat solid foods. Mexican, Chinese, BBQ, Italian, French, you name it. And then Matt went and added Japanese to the mix. I’m not so sure about the raw fish, sashimi, but everything else he ordered was, well to put it the way he did, ‘divine’. Now, that’s a ringing endorsement if there ever was one, and I know for a fact that if he offered to order Japanese again, I’d be the first to say yes. Oh, and my favourite was that dish with the battered vegetables and seafood...tempura? That’s what it was called, I think.

I was so full after the meal, last night, that I felt bloated. Matt had obviously felt the same way because once we were done, he’d collapsed on the sofa and stayed there until he decided it was time for bed. Surfing the sports’ channels he’d just held me next to him and murmured random comments about nothing much at all. We both just relaxed in each other’s company. I’m sure the guy from the Guild, Robert, would probably bust a nut if he had seen the way we were cuddled up like lovers.

Of course, I doubt Matt gives a shit anymore, not after what he was forced to do to me. After that, I don’t think the Guild could possibly do anything worse, short of taking me away from him. But, I’m confident Matt would fight tooth and nail to keep me with him if that ever occurred. They’d probably have to throw him in jail before he willingly relinquished me from his care. Actually, they’d have the right to do that...but, I’m hoping things never get that far.

Maybe we’ll be able to fool them into thinking that we’re following rules. After all, this whole him loving me thing... he didn’t say he was in love with me, just that he loved me. It’s not like he’s going to marry me or anything. That would be a huge fuck you to the establishment, but we couldn’t afford to go there. That would definitely be grounds for them to separate us and then...shit, I can’t believe I’m saying this... then terminating my life...

Yeah, that’s not a happy thought. I don’t think I’ve ever said anything of the sort out loud, or written it down as the case is, right now. I guess the words were just too final for me to ever think on, but the way things are going, if we get caught out that could be the outcome. And that terrifies me. It scares me if he leaves me alone for any length of time, actually. Those times when he went over to Zacky’s or Syn’s without me, I holed myself in our room because I feel safer in a confined space when I’m alone....

Right now, I’m not alone. We’re sitting in the kitchen, I’m at the bench with my journal, and Matt is at the table going through the bills. Jason Berry is here as well, fussing about in the kitchen. I think I’ve only ever mentioned him once or twice. But, he’s one of two brothers. The Berry’s have known the guys in the band for as long as Matt can remember. They all kind of grew up together at school and stuff.

Anyway, Jason is a friendly guy and if I ever encounter him he always has an open face and ready smile for me. Right now, he’s in the process of trying to find a power point; he’s holding an electric razor in his hands. Matt did decide to call him about his hair. First thing this morning, after breakfast, he rang him and told him to get his ass over here.

Shaking his head, Jason looks toward me. “Hey, Val? Are there any free points?”

I crane my neck over the bench, looking. “I think there’s one next to the kettle. Otherwise, you might have to use the one in the bathroom.”

Jason nods, poking his head behind the kettle. “Hah! You’re amazing!”

I flush red. Matt glances up from the bills. “Who’s amazing?” He catches my eye. “What’s he going on about?”

Ducking my face down, I don’t answer. Jason grins, holding up the razor. “Ready to lose your Goldilocks do?”

Matt’s eyes narrow, and he growls, “I do not look like Goldilocks.”

Jason gives my master a bored look. “I didn’t say you looked like Goldilocks, just your hair.”

“Whatever.” He pushes up off his chair and walks over to join his friend in the kitchen. Grabbing a stool on the way he gives me a look as he passes the bench. “Put that away and grab the dust pan.” He nods to my journal absently as he parks his ass on the stool, in front of his friend.

Shutting the pages of my journal, I do as he says, going to the pantry to see where the pan and brush are. Finding them, I come out just in time to hear the whir of the razor, and see Jason leaning over Matt’s bowed head. I stand there, watching as he quickly detaches the long locks of hair from Matt’s scalp, shearing it close to the skin. Once he’s done, Matt runs his palm over his skull a small smile pulling at his lips. It’s not quite as short as when I first met him, but it’s pretty close.

He glances at me; I go over, dropping to my knees next to him. Jason steps out of my way so I can brush up all the bits of hair. He leans against the bench, folding his arms. I keep brushing as the two men talk to each other. Their voices rumble above me; I listen as I clean up.

“So, Zacky told me about JD.”

Matt snorts. “What’d he tell you?”

“That he’s some kind of trouble.” Jason coughs. He smokes, not as much as some people I’ve met, but more than Matt. Which really isn’t saying anything because I’ve never seen Matt smoke. Jason goes on. “I had a look at that card he gave Val, and tried to search something for you.”

Matt shifts on the stool; I peek up at him. His brow is drawn tight. “Did you find anything?”

Jason shakes his head. “Not on either name. It’s like he doesn’t exist. At least in cyberspace.”

My master scowls. “What? You mean Denmore might not be his real name, either?” I tremble at that thought. But, it makes sense, if he does have anything to do with the Guild, giving out his real name could be counterproductive to what he does for them.

“It’s possible.” Jason shrugs. “Anyway, Zack says he’s gonna be at your dad’s place today...and he’s bringing a buddy, apparently.”

Matt nods. “Yeah, Brian mentioned that to me.”

I look down again, finishing with the brush and pan. Getting up, I go and dump the hair in the trash, and then, after putting the pan and brush away, I go to stand next to Matt. He smiles faintly at me, wrapping an arm around my waist, and drawing me close to him.

Jason smiles at the both of us then gets serious again. “Zacky seemed a little off about that. But, I said Matt and I would keep an eye on things. We can come and kick them out if anything goes wrong.”

Matt Berry is Jason’s twin brother. Lots of twins in the life of Avenged...well okay, only me and Chelle, and the Berry’s. But that’s more twins than lots of other people know in a lifetime.

My master chuckles. “I don’t doubt that.” He glances at the clock on the wall. “Well, thanks for the shave, dude. I think we gotta go soon.”

Jason also looks, nodding in agreement. “Yep, half an hour. See you down at your dad’s?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Matt gently eases me away, murmuring, “Go get ready.”

I bite my lip; I’m in no position to argue with him, but I really don’t want to go anywhere near that JD guy if I can help it. He must pick up on my apprehension, though, because he says in a low voice, “Michelle will be there. You two can hang out.”

Flushing, I try to hide my relief as I hurry out of the kitchen.

* * * * *

On the way over, I can sense this storm brewing. The tension in Matt’s body is increasing, the closer we get to his parents’ place. I can see it in the set of his shoulders, in the way his fingers are tight on the steering wheel. We’re taking his SUV, by the way, not the bike. Which I’m grateful for, because considering his mood, he’d be like to get into an accident on it. Much safer to be inside a vehicle than on top of one. Not by much, though. Usually, Matt’s really laidback when he’s driving, but with this added tension, his attitude toward the other drivers on the road is a lot coarser than normal.

“Fuckin’ Sunday drivers...” Matt growls, cursing at the vehicle he’s practically riding. I must point out, it’s not Sunday, by the way...

I can almost see the individual hairs of the driver in front of us. Who just so happens to notice us in his rear-view mirror. The guy rolls down his window and yells back obscenities at us.

Matt slides his own window down and flips the guy the bird. I hunch down in my seat, feeling a little embarrassed by his actions. Matt glances sideways at me, brow creasing a little. I look away, gazing out my window.

He sighs. “Sorry, I’m a little pissed.”

He squeezes the steering wheel. I feel kinda sorry for it; yes, I know it’s an inanimate object...but he’s practically strangling it. I shake my head softly. He doesn’t need to explain himself to me. I can’t control his moods. And, at any rate, I can probably figure out what’s got him so worked up. He’s obviously as happy about seeing JD as I am. Personally, I’d rather have my teeth pulled out than have to be anywhere near the guy.

Matt returns his gaze out the windscreen; the line of his jaw set hard. I settle back in my seat just allowing the hum of the tyres to lull me into a sense of comfort.

* * * * *

“Val! You’re here! Yay!”

I blink, just as Jimmy tugs my door open and literally drags me by the arm out of the car. He gives me no time to protest before he’s pulling me toward a small group of women who are standing outside the house. I recognise Michelle but the others are only vaguely familiar. I think I must’ve seen photos of them somewhere...maybe?

Before Jimmy can introduce them, though, Matt walks over and shakes his head.

“Jimmy, you shit. You’ll freak her out.”

Jimmy rolls his eyes. “She doesn’t seem freaked.”

“She has a name,” Michelle snaps, defensively.

I blurt out, “I have a voice.”

Jimmy cracks it, laughing so hard it sounds like he might burst. I just stare at him, not really sure how to react.

Michelle groans, but then glares at Matt. “You have some nerve suggesting Val will freak after what you did to her.”

Matt glares at my twin, but remains tight-lipped, not wanting to air our issues in front of the other women. Thankfully, none of them ask what my twin is going on about. Instead the one standing to her left, a short woman with bronze tinted skin and a huge grin that rivals Jimmy’s, steps toward me and introduces herself.

“Hey, I’m Leana.” She points at Jimmy who’s wandered off to wait for the other guys. “I’m attached to him.”

I smile softly, nodding. Then Leana points at the other two women. “This is Gena, Zacky’s girl.” A woman with platinum blonde hair and a soft smile, waves to me, a friendly spark in her eyes. I can tell why Zacky would like her; she seems classy, just perfect for someone as sophisticated as he is.

“And, this is Lacey, she’s with Johnny.” Leana indicates the final woman of the group.

Warm eyes take me in as Lacey smiles at me. “Nice to meet you, Val.”

I nod, feeling strangely shy. Matt who is still standing there, squeezes me around the waist. “Now that’s nice...you can stay with the girls. I gotta get to work.”

Peeking up at him, I nod. He smiles at the others, the expression faltering a little as his eyes flicker over Michelle then he walks away to the garage. I watch him for a moment but then Leana speaks up again.

“Right. Jimmy says we need to get you out for a girly day.” She flashes her pearly whites at me. I drag my eyes away from Matt’s retreating figure and look at the smaller woman.

“Girly day?” Michelle snorts.

Leana rolls her eyes. “Jimmy’s words. Not mine.”

I smile. Jimmy is kind of crazy like that. “So, uh...what’re we going to do?”

Lacey answers my question with a grin. “We’re going to a day spa. Get pampered and basically treated like queens for a few hours while the boys work.”

That sounds really good to me. But then anything sounds good to me, considering what my life has been. I just nod, happy to go along with any suggestion they make.

Michelle smiles stepping close and hooking an arm through mine. “It’ll be fun. Get our mind off things for awhile...”

Translation: Get my mind off the shit that I’ve just been through, with Matt and the Guild etcetera, etcetera. Sounds like a very good plan.

I nod at my twin, still feeling too shy to respond to the other girls. But, I’m sure they’ll cure me of that by the end of the day. I’m not sure how I feel about that, though.

I guess we’ll just have to see.

It's really good to see Val starting to have something resembling a normal life, I just hope that she and Matt can maintain that. I've gotten so attached to this story, can't wait for updates on it now.

Me too, Ciara, me too...

~~~~~


Part Twenty-Seven – “Yeah, I said he was an asshole.”

“Jimmy, you’re a fucking genius. How do you come up with this shit? For real?” Matt leaned forward, elbows pressed against his knees. Jimmy sat on a stool, swinging absently as the demo he’d laid down at home blasted through the speakers. Brian sat opposite with an appreciative grin to match the singer’s.

The drummer smirked. “Easy. I sit down and attack everything. Comes up pure beast.”

“You’re a fucking beast,” Matt, whose smile didn’t last as long as Brian’s, muttered as he settled back on his chair, crossing his arms.

Jimmy glanced across at his friend, lifting an eyebrow. The drummer was very perceptive and always seemed to know when any of the guys was feeling a little out of it. Right now, he could sense the tension in the singer, could almost see the big man’s brain churning over.

“What’s with you, Shads?”

Matt frowned. “Nothing. Just trying to figure out why I like this so much.” He nodded toward the speakers.

“Bull. Shit. Something’s got up your nose.”

Brian grinned. “His nostrils are big enough to fit something up there.”

“What the fuck? No.” Matt made a face. “Nothing’s up.”

The guitarist laughed. “I see you didn’t deny my comment.”

“Just...fuck you, Syn.” Matt shot a hard look at his friend. “I’m really not in the mood for your shit right now. And you should know why.” The expression on his face was dark, lips drawn tight together. His mood since arriving hadn’t improved by much.

Brian held both hands up to the singer in a placating gesture. “Dude, sorry.”

Jimmy, who was now on his back on the stool, spinning around, glanced up at his two friends and scowled.

“What’s with the love fest?”

“Huh?” Matt cocked an eyebrow at the drummer.

“You two are bickering like a married couple.”

There was silence after that statement. Brian stood and went for the fridge. Matt shifted so he was facing the speakers more, shoulders tensed up. Jimmy sighed but didn’t press, returning to swinging on the stool tapping the floor with his sticks. In time to the music filling the space.

After a moment or two of uncomfortable quiet from his friends, Jimmy decided to break it. He could never stand silences. He liked noise and the atmosphere was way too tense for his liking. Springing up from his stool he turned and without further ado lobbed one of his drumsticks at Matt. The singer didn’t see it coming and the end of the stick caught him a glancing blow across the side of his head.

“What the hell?” Matt turned daggers on the drummer, but couldn’t hold the look as his gaze fell upon the madly grinning countenance of his friend. “You fuck!” he exclaimed, bursting into a guffaw while rubbing the side of his head.

Jimmy slapped at his thigh as he fell onto the floor, cacking himself. Brian, who now had a bottle of Jack in his hand, walked back over and stood staring down at his friend with an amused expression on his face.

“What are you doing?”

The drummer quit his laughter, long limbs splayed out on the floor as he looked up at his friend.

“Laughing at Shads. I got him a good one on the noggin.”

“With his fucking stick,” Matt added, gruffly. There was a glimmer of mirth in his eyes, though. He could never really be mad at Jimmy. No one could. A hint of a smirk hovered at the corners of his mouth. Jimmy grinned at him. Brian shook his head at his friend’s antics. Then he cocked his head to the side just as the sound of a car pulling up into the drive drifted through the door.

“Must be JD.”

Matt’s expression hardened, the smile disappearing from his face. Brian didn’t notice, but the drummer did and he raised his eyebrows at the singer, mouthing what’s up? Matt shook his head, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms tight over his chest.

Brian went out of the garage, and they could hear his voice as he greeted JD, and what sounded like another person. Matt tuned out their voices, by jacking up the speakers and replaying the demo track they’d been listening to. Jimmy sighed, slumping down next to him, twirling his other drum stick in an absent manner, humming along.

After a moment, Matt turned the song down and looked at the drummer. “Where’re Zacky and Christ?”

Jimmy glanced up at him. “They’re getting food from your Mom.”

“Oh, right...why didn’t I think of that...?” Matt snorted, rolling his eyes. The drummer just shrugged, flopping back on the floor, his eyes drifting toward the doorway. Matt followed his gaze. Brian was just about to walk back in; JD was behind him.

Jimmy jumped up, grinning madly again. Brian walked in and propped his ass against a stool, JD following suit. Matt ignored him, though, his eyes still fixed on the doorway.

“Where’s your buddy?” The question almost came out as a growl.

JD gave the singer a weird look, and then looked toward the doorway. “Oi, Rob! Getcha ass in here.” He looked at Brian. “I thought he was right behind me.”

Matt stiffened at the name. But, said nothing. He didn’t want to come across as a suspicious ogre, just over some guy’s name. Plenty of people called Rob lived in Huntington. Still, he couldn’t get passed the thoughts of what he’d done to Val and the why of it.

His focus intensified as footsteps approached the doorway. Part of his mind, the rational side, was berating his irrational side, telling him that it couldn’t be the same person, he was being stupid, and that just because he was suspicious of JD didn’t mean he had to be crazy nervous over his buddy.

All those thoughts were wiped out of existence as the guy appeared in the doorway. Before Brian or Jimmy, or even JD could say anything, Matt’s voice filled the room in a burst. Unexpected and very loud.

“No. Fucking. Way. You goddamn, sonofabitch.” One second, he was sitting on his stool big body tensed up, the next he was at the door with his hands latched onto the front of Robert’s shirt. Jerking him into the room and slamming him up against the wall, Matt felt a pained satisfaction at the way the plasterboard shook at the contact.

Robert blinked, but made no real protest, save grabbing hold of Matt’s wrists, squeezing them hard. Matt responded by shoving him harder into the wall.

“Matt, what the fuck?” Brian’s voice barely registered on his radar, his focus all on the man in front of him.

Matt’s breathing deepened as he leaned into Robert’s face. The other man’s pupils had dilated, and he still had his hands lightly grasping Matt’s wrists. But, there was no real fight in him. Partly because Matt had the advantage, even though Robert was a big man, packing about as much muscle as the singer, possibly more, though Matt was taller. The other reason being he knew there was no point in objecting; he knew what Matt was pissed for, and he wasn’t willing to dispute it.

The guitarist was trying to get Matt’s attention; Jimmy was unusually quiet. And then, JD was right next to them. Not making any contact, just trying to intervene as calmly as possible.

“Sanders...let go...he hasn’t done anything wrong.” JD’s voice was low as if he were talking to a wild animal. An animal that might lash out at any given moment, without warning and with devastating consequences. Matt clenched his jaw, muscle bulging along the hard line.

“Fuck. That. You have any idea what this asshole made me do to Val?” At the word ‘asshole’ his grip tightened into angry fists on Robert’s shirt. Robert swallowed hard, his gaze fixed on Matt’s furious one, watching a wash of red, flash across the bigger man’s face.

“Matt,” Brian got into the mix as well, stepping close to his friend’s other side, his voice soft, cajoling. “Let him go...and let’s talk this out...” He was obviously confused by what was going on; his tone was questioning, but at the same time keeping as steady as possible.

Matt gritted out, harshly, “No. Fuck you. I wanna beat his fucking face in...” He punctuated each word with a thud to the wall. He didn’t feel like being reasonable. He just wanted to smash the guy into a pulp. He wanted to make him feel the way he made Val feel when he’d forced himself onto her. He wanted him to hurt all over.

Brian sighed, heavily. Matt didn’t see the look that passed between the guitarist and the tech, but the next thing he knew two sets of hands hooked onto his biceps, dragging him away from Robert. He ended up on the floor with Brian parked on his chest, holding him down.

He didn’t bother trying to throw his friend off, just lay fuming in silence. Which in itself was unusual. Considering Matt’s red hot temper, he would normally still be raging, and fighting to get a hold of whoever was in his sights. But, the close quarters of the garage were not the best possible space to lose control of his big body in, and he didn’t want to damage any of the equipment. It took a conscious effort for his mind to explain this to him as he remained still beneath his friend’s ass.

Meanwhile, JD remained by his friend making sure he was alright. Robert waved the bigger man away though, turning grave eyes toward Matt, who was still glowering dangerously up at him.

“Look. Getting pissed at me isn’t going to change the situation. And,” he paused looking at the bemused looks that Jimmy and Brian were giving him. “Your buddies have no clue what you’re losing your head over. So, I think we should just sit down and talk this out like mature adults...okay?”

Robert was so reasonable that Matt felt like banging his head against a wall, but he settled for cursing the other man instead. He didn’t want to hear anything he had to say, even if it would help clear things. He just wasn’t in the mood. This, obviously, wasn’t the sentiment his friends shared, because Jimmy started throwing questions at Robert as if they were missiles. And Brian directed his gaze down at him, one eyebrow cocked in a ‘what the fuck is going on?’ pose.

Matt sighed, swivelling his neck so he could keep his eyes on Robert, and JD who was hovering behind him. He scowled at the two men, angry thoughts swirling through his mind. He couldn’t get rid of the images of Val beneath him on their bed, crying while he....

“Fine,” he managed to grit out, forcing the thoughts back, so he could focus. “Talk.” Then he flicked his eyes at his friend. “And get your ass off me, Syn...I’m not gonna do shit...”

Brian grimaced, not convinced that it was safe to let his friend go, because judging by the glint in his eyes he was likely to lose his cool any moment now. Matt actually growled in response at his reluctance to move. Sighing, the guitarist got up, but ready to latch onto the singer at any sign he was going to lunge at someone. Matt made no move to do so, though. He just sat up, resting his elbows on his knees, and gave their guests hard looks.

“Well?”

Robert sighed, rubbing hands over his face. “Shit. This wasn’t something we factored into our...plans.” The hesitation on the final word was evident.

Jimmy caught on and asked, “Plans? Whaddya mean? Plans?” He was frowning, an unusual occurrence for the usually ebullient drummer.

“Jase and I have a business, I s’pose you’d call it. Or maybe...more a public service?” Robert cast a glance over at JD. The dark expression on the other man’s face was giving nothing away. “Bud?”

JD shook his head. “Public service? More like a private service. No one’s meant to know any of this.”

Robert snapped, “Yeah, but no one’s ever caught us out before.”

“So? That doesn’t mean crap. No one is s’posed to know. We can’t afford the-”

“You’re not explaining this shit,” Matt interrupted gruffly.

They turned to look at him again, twin expressions of irritation on their features. They were both reining in their own tempers, minds churning over how they could respond best. It was there written all over their faces.

“We’re part of the Government Anti-Corruption Unit. It’s highly classified.” Robert began pacing, chin tucked into his chest as he talked, voice strained. “Jase and I run a shadow business under the ACU called Hearts Rebels.” He shot a look toward the others; Jimmy and Brian both letting out disbelieving grunts. “Yeah, I know it’s a corny name, but we needed to come up with something that sounded innocent, so no one would suspect us of anything.”

JD added, “Officially we don’t exist, so if you’ve been trying to find anything...”

Matt scowled. “I found zip. Zacky and JB had no luck either.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Being under government auspices does that for one.” JD crossed his legs at the ankles, leaning back against the wall where moments earlier Matt had pinned his friend. He continued, in a rough voice. “HR is responsible, specifically, for keeping tabs on the Guild.”

The singer’s stomach clenched and he felt the muscles all over his body, tightening. “Keeping tabs, how?” He didn’t know if he really wanted to know the answer to that question. He had an awful feeling it had to do with why Robert had shown up on his doorstep and made him hurt Valary. So, he was understandably apprehensive as to the response he would get.

Before JD could answer, though, Jimmy interrupted, “What’s the Guild? And what the fuck does it have to do with Matt?”

JD looked the drummer dead in the eyes as he answered. “The Guild is the governing body that rules over every slave that lives in the US. I think you can figure out what that has to do with Matt.”

“Oh...right...Val...” Jimmy trailed off and sank into his own little world, tapping his sticks absently against his knees. When it looked like he had no more questions, JD turned his attention back to Matt.

Brian was sitting in silence near his friends, listening intently, taking it all in. Matt raised his eyebrows at JD’s black stare.

“You were saying?”

All this waiting for an answer was doing nothing for his temper. He was getting more and more wound up as the moments passed. Both JD and Robert picked up on this, and so they went on, alternating between who spoke.

“Like I said before, it’s classified, so we can’t tell you. Short of killing you, after the fact. Or wiping your identities from existence and giving you new names and shit.”

“But, what we can tell you is that what we do is s’posed to make things a lot better for society.”

“Exactly.” Robert nodded, firmly. “People shouldn’t be bought or sold like cattle. And even if it doesn’t end, people should still be treated as people, with equal rights.”

“Yes. I mean, where the hell is Abe Lincoln when we need him?” JD snorted. “He called it. Too bad The Guild ignored him.”

Matt’s eyes were darting between them attempting to process their speech. His brain sifted through the information that they were firing at him.

“Wait.” He held up a hand to stop the flow of words. They both paused for breath, meeting his evident confusion. “Let me get this...you’re...against the Guild?”

Robert rolled his eyes, chuckling. JD smirked, eyes darker than ever. But his verbal response was guarded.

“We’re not for it. I’ll admit that much.”

Matt tasted bile in his mouth. “Right. Classified shit.”

“It’s safer for all concerned,” JD murmured.

“Just answer me one thing. Jason Denmore isn’t your real name, is it?” The singer’s heart was pounding in his forehead, the bile rising and making him want to evacuate everything he’d put inside him since breakfast.

“You called it. But, Robert is Robert’s real name.”

Matt shot a cold look toward the other man. “Right. So...tell me, Robert. If you’re not for the Guild why did you make me hurt Val?”

His question resounded in the small studio. Jimmy snapped out of his stupor, his eyes fixing on Robert like lasers. Brian tensed on his perch; he knew what Matt had done, so he was interested to hear what excuse...or reason Robert could come up with.

Sighing, Robert shook his head. “I’m sure JD’s mentioned I can be a jerk sometimes.”

“So, what’re you saying?” Matt asked, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits.

“That I’m a jerk...and sometimes I just do things because I can.” He excused himself then, knowing if he didn’t he was liable to get attacked.

Matt was right on the edge of his seat, just about ready to launch himself at anyone who set a foot wrong. But, instead of actually lashing out, he turned his livid stare to JD.

“You wanna explain that?”

“Yeah,” JD drawled. “I said he was an asshole.”

Matt began grinding his teeth. “You’d be right, there. Can you give me any other reason, for what happened? I’d be most-”

“Grateful? Look. We gotta keep covered. The Guild can’t know what we’re doing. That means sometimes we gotta force people into situations we’d rather not. What happened with Val is not something I agree with.” JD shifted against the wall, shaking his head hard. Then he stopped and pegged Matt with a level glare. “But, like I’ve said, this is dirty work, and Robert works directly inside Guild HQ. So, he can’t front. They can’t know what we’re about. So...he gets to do the shit work. And, being the compulsive bastard that he is...that often means being the bad guy.” JD grimaced as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. He didn’t need to say the words though. It was quite obvious to all concerned that Robert didn’t really care about that.

Matt groaned. “Fuck...I don’t think I can get around this...”

JD nodded slowly. “I can understand that. Look, I only have to really have a quick chat with Zack and Brian about some things, then I can get Robert and leave. If that’ll make you more comfortable?”

The singer shrugged, it wouldn’t matter in the long run. Short of finding someone else to do the tech job, he was stuck with JD. And to be honest, JD wasn’t a big problem, he was more irate at Robert than anything. He looked up at JD, though and decided he had to say something. Jimmy and Brian were looking at him expectantly.

“No. It’s fine. Just...keep him away from me.”

JD nodded again. “Okay. Well...” he leaned his head out the door, then relaxed against the wall. “Looks like he’s gone for a smoke, which means he’ll be awhile.” He glanced at Brian. “We should get to work.”

As the others got to work, Brian popped into the main house to find Zacky and Johnny. And Matt slumped onto his stool praying silently to whatever God there was that as long as the girls didn’t get back until after JD and Robert had left, everything else would be fine.

Okay, totally not what I saw coming. I can't believe it's the same guy. Sonofabitch!

Hehe yeh he is, eh?

~~~~


Part Twenty-Eight – “Thanks for the support.”

The girls are so nice. I don’t think I’ve ever met a nicer group of females in my whole life. Then again, I’ve never had the chance to meet anyone, really, so that’s not really all that surprising. But, if I’m going to set any benchmark, they are definitely what I’m basing my criteria on. They don’t know everything about me, only what Michelle has told them, which judging by the things they have asked me, is not a lot.

Right now, I feel like I’m floating away from my body. We’re sitting in a large marble spa, the warm water soothing against our freshly cleansed bodies. I’ve never had a bath where it’s not about cleaning yourself. Usually, a bath to me is where I get the soap and lather myself up to wash away the dirt of my life. But, this is different. It’s relaxing, and the bath salts that the staff here at the spa, soaked in the water are refreshing.

We’ve had about everything imaginable done to us, massage, pedicure, manicure, whatever-cure. Some of the things I have no idea what their names are, but whatever they were it was refreshing and I feel like a totally new woman. I guess that’s kind of a cliché statement, but...whatever.

The girls are chatting to each other, laughter spilling around me. I listen in, smiling at all the right places. After awhile the focus of the conversation drifts toward the guys. I perk up, listening more closely as the girls’ tones change from just mere laughter to a different quality that I just can’t quite grasp. If I was to pin something down, it might possibly be that these women have known their men for so long that for them there are no secrets and they know exactly where they stand.

“Jimmy dotes on you Le,” Lacey was saying.

Leana giggles, shifting her back against the edge of the bath. “He does. And vice versa...seriously, that man is my world. I mean...he’s a crazy shit most of the time, and you girls know that. But, people who don’t know him...they think he’s just plain insane.”

“They don’t have to live with him, though,” Michelle points out.

A ripple of laughter passes through the girls, and I can’t help but join in.

Leana brushes at her eyes then goes on. “When he proposed to me...I gotta tell you, it was odd how un-crazy that was. Which, I guess was madness in itself.”

“What do you mean?” I realise after a moment that I’m the one who asks the question. However, the girls don’t stare at me as if I’ve intruded or anything; Leana and the others just smile at me.

And she answers, just as if I were any of the others. “We went out for dinner and he did the whole getting down on one knee and showing the ring thing. Simple and sweet. And, to be honest, exactly how he’d do it.” Leana shakes her head, looking at all of us. “He’s crazy mad...but, his heart always knows where it’s at.”

The girls all nod and I find myself joining in agreement with them. The short time I’ve known Jimmy, I can totally see where his heart is. That man wears his heart on his sleeve.

Lacey speaks up again; she seems to be the one unofficially mediating this conversation. “Gena, is Zacky a romantic?”

Gena rolls her eyes. “There’re two things Zacky is. Romantic, and a big eater. Because, y’know, the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.”

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with his, uh...Italian blood?” Michelle asks, lips curling.

“Says the chick with Italian blood in her,” Leana comments.

I giggle at that. DiBenedetto is definitely an Italian name. There’s no denying that. But, Zacky does look like he’s at least part Italian.

“Well, yeah...” Michelle smirks. “Still, with a name like Baker.”

“Which is more English, than Italian.” Gena crosses her arms over her breasts. Just to make a note, we are all naked, by the way. Being in a spa and all.

“Yeah, but...Baker.” My sister sounds almost agitated, in a mocking kind of way.

“Bakers make bread, Chelle. They don’t eat it.” Again, I shut my mouth tight, blinking at my own audacity. Michelle looks at me, warmth showing in her eyes. Then she giggles, rolling them.

“True, Val...true.”

“Anyway!” Gena speaks above us. “Quit with your twinfest...I’m talking about Zack.”

Michelle snorts; I smile, leaning back more, enjoying the way the water laps around my shoulders. Twinfest? Nice to know they give the connection a name of sorts. Makes me feel wanted. Strange because I’ve never had anyone I could really associate with. Having my sister, though, it’s like a gift. An unasked for blessing.

“Go on then,” my twin murmurs.

Gena sniffs at the pretence of permission granted. “He’s got a heart of gold.”

“All our boys do,” Lacey interjects voice soft. She is the youngest of us all, but then Johnny is also the youngest of the guys. But, that doesn’t stop her from including herself in everything that is going on. Like I already said, she’s the one who seems to be steering the conversation.

“Not going to argue there,” Gena smiles.

“Chelle?” Leana cuts in. “What about Brian?”

Michelle smiles. “I think he’s gonna propose soon.”

The girls don’t even seem too surprised by that. Honestly, I don’t think that’s surprising at all. It’s obvious how much in love they are. I know it’s silly, but I envy what my twin has with Brian. Because I know I’ll probably never have anything like that with Matt...even though he says he loves me...even though I love him. I’m a slave, so I can’t ever hope that I’ll be anything more than that.

“Yeah, we totally didn’t see that one coming,” Leana snorts, shaking her head. “Jimmy and I were betting how long it’d take, y’know?”

“Johnny was too,” Lacey giggles.

Gena sighs, “Yeah, he likes gambling. So does Zack, he reckons Brian might pop the question in less than a month.”

“What about, Matt?” Lacey looks over at me.

I feel my stomach clench a little. What he said down on the beach several days ago comes back to mind. But, somehow I can’t bring myself to repeat it. So, I just shrug and murmur, “I don’t think Matt’s a betting man.”

Michelle coughs as if she’s trying to hide something. I look at her; she gives me a serious look. I frown, tilting my head. But she doesn’t explain, just shakes her head. But, she’s got me curious now and I feel confident enough to interrogate her, a little.

“Chelle, what do you know about Matt that I don’t?”

My twin gives an exasperated noise. “He likes going to the casino. Well, he went quite a bit when the guys were writing their last album.”

“Zack got inspiration for Scream from when they went to one, remember,” Lacey comments to my twin.

Michelle nods then looks at me again. “All I’m saying is that Matt would definitely be thinking about when his best friend’s gonna pop the question to me. He didn’t like that I got between them in high school.”

I frown, my mind churning over what Matt’s already told me about their past and the whole thing with his sister and that other guy Chelle went with for a while. However, I decide now is not the time to bring that up. Instead, I just nod in response. I just want this conversation to shift.

Obviously, the others think the same thing, because Gena pipes up.

“Val, tell us about Matt.”

“Yeah, it’s your turn.” Lacey runs her hands through her damp hair.

My mind goes blank for a frightening second or two. What the hell am I supposed to say? I don’t even know if they know what my relationship with Matt really is. I have no clue what Michelle has told them. I dare a look at my twin. But, to my surprise, it’s Leana who comes to my rescue.

“Jimmy told me about how you’re Matt’s...sub.”

Thank God for Jimmy. He’s obviously a lot more perceptive than I realised. And. Thank God that the Guild created that softer term. It’s the one most people use in mixed company. A lot of today’s society would baulk at the thought that there were slaves in the Western world. So, the Guild came up with the concept of the submissive. Of course, submissive is also a specific kind of slave, but in the general population the word is interchangeable with slave.

Shaking my head, I lower my eyes, muttering, “Yeah. It kind of sucks...” Those words leave my mouth before I can stop them, before I even realise I’ve spoken them. I shake my head, feeling like I have to justify my statement. “I mean, being with Matt is great...he’s...great. But...” I pause and look up at them.

Michelle is regarding me with a sad expression. The other girls are looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and sympathy. The former I can understand, the latter...saddens me. I don’t want, or need anyone’s sympathetic thoughts. No matter how well-meaning they are.

Crossing my arms and leaning my head back, I speak to the ceiling. Not having to meet their eyes makes it a little easier to talk about what I’m feeling.

“You’re all lucky, y’know? You can have real relationships with the guys...get married...make decisions together...have kids, even. If you want.” I bite my lip, but go on. “I can’t do any of that. I can warm his bed...and maybe his heart...but all I’ll ever be is maybe just a little higher on the ladder than his dog.”

“But, he loves you,” Michelle interjects. I glance over at her; she’s frowning deeply, her eyes sharp. “Shouldn’t that count for something?”

I sigh. “It’s against the rules...”

“Rules?” Leana scowls. “There are rules? Jimmy never mentioned that.”

I shake my head again. “That’s ‘cause only Chelle and Brian know about that.”

Michelle scoffs, “Only ‘cause we came barging in after Matt hurt you.”

“True, I don’t think either of us was really ready to talk about it. To anyone.” I look down at the surface of the water.

“Matt hurt you? What’s that got to do with rules? I’m confused.” Leana seems to be the only one capable of asking questions now. Gena and Lacey remain silent just taking it all in. Maybe it’s better that way. Le is the eldest of the girls and she has the qualities that I believe will make her a good mother. A random thought, I know...but, it’s just what I think.

I smile sourly her way. “Long story short. As a slave,” I’m not worrying about calling myself what I am, “I’m not allowed to love Matt...and he’s not allowed to love me. The Guild made that rule. And some guy came around to our place the other day and forced Matt to prove his mastership over me.”

“The Guild is shit,” Michelle mutters. “Or at least that’s what I think of them.” What she knows of them, at least.

I send a grateful smile her way. “Thanks for the support.” My twin nods slightly.

Leana rubs at her arms and murmurs, “Christ...that’s awful.”

“Speaking of Christ,” I say, ready to turn the topic away from me, because I’m not willing to open any further about my situation, for now. “Lacey?” I look over at the younger woman. “Tell us about Johnny?”

My twin gives me a knowing look. I knew Michelle could figure out why I was so hasty to steer the chat away from me. Thankfully, she just nods to me and picks up from where I asked my question, smirking toward Lacey as she does.

“Yeah? How can you tolerate being with a guy who’s shorter than you?”

Lacey laughs, shaking her head. “I just never wear heels. Simple.”

“Oh, come on.” Michelle laughs. “That can’t be the solution.”

“Yeah, we’ve seen you in heels,” Leana says, with a grin.

Lacey just shrugs, taking the jibes in good humour. Pretty admirable, I must say. The girls evidently rib her as much as the guys fool with Johnny. Goes with the territory, I guess. Michelle sighs next to me, shaking her head. I glance sideways at her.

She lifts an eyebrow then looks at her hands, holding them out in front of her. “I’m getting wrinkly.”

Gena smirks. “Time to head back, hey?”

An uneasy sinking feeling settles in my stomach. I try to quash it by telling myself that they guys will probably be close to finishing and that JD and his friend, whoever that is, won’t be there anymore. I know it’s stupid, but I don’t want to go home. I really don’t have anything to look forward to. Especially after the whole fiasco with that Guild guy, Robert, I just don’t feel comfortable. I know that Matt feels remorse for what he did, but I am a little afraid of being alone with him.

Yeah, I know that’s kind of a turnaround from just after it happened. But, looking back, I think that’s because part of me was numb to it all. It happens, people swing from one extreme to the next. Wanting closeness to being afraid of it. Then again, maybe that’s just because of what I am. As a slave I always tend to swing through the whole gamut of emotions.

Anyway, what I’m really saying is that I don’t want to go back just yet. But the other girls are already starting to get out of the spa, grabbing towels that have been left folded on chairs nearby.

Michelle notices me sitting still, the last one in the tub.

“Val? You okay?”

I glance up at her, all ready to nod and tell her yes, I’m fine thank you absolutely dandy. But I can’t, something prevents me from doing so. And then out of nowhere, it seems, I just start to cry. Tears well and roll unbidden down my face. I lift my hands, pressing them over my eyes.

“Chelle...” I choke out, my voice cracking. “I don’t...” A sob, escapes. Michelle kneels down next to me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

“Sis? You don’t what?”

Trembling, I shake my head. I can’t formulate my thoughts into coherent words. I know what I mean to say, but I can’t say what I mean. It’s too hard. I can’t even think properly. I mean, I don’t want to go back, but at the same time I really can’t stand being away from Matt. Though, at the same time I’m anxious about being near him. Yes, it’s crazy...I can’t figure it out...but there it is.

A shiver runs through my body, but I force myself to get up out of the spa. Michelle, thankfully, doesn’t press. Instead she grabs a towel and wraps it around my shoulders, giving them a supportive squeeze. I smile softly at her as the others mill around us. They also don’t try and pressure me into explaining my sudden mood change and that somehow warms me on the inside.

I have never been in a situation where there are people around me who are not demanding something of me, and it’s refreshing. It gives me hope that things might slowly get better. Hah. I’m sure nothing worse can possibly happen, not after what I’ve already been through. But who can tell, really?

“Val? Your clothes.”

I blink as Michelle holds my jeans and blouse out to me.

“Oh, right. Thanks.”

Pulling them on, I try not to think too much. This day is meant to be a day of not worrying about all the stuff going on. But, it’s difficult to not have real life encroaching on even the smallest moments of peace. Though, I guess it’s okay, considering we’re going back. I’ll need to have my wits about me. It’s just that, I really want to just hold onto the serenity that I felt while sitting in the spa.

I know I will cherish today for the rest of my life, until I have another like it. Which, judging by the way the girls are already discussing another day out, might not be that far away into the future. But, for now, life is going to go on, and new challenges will probably crop up.

After today, though, I think I can face them with a little more courage than before. And, that means everything, doesn’t it?

Part Twenty-Nine – “I think I should tell you.”

It’s been a week since I went out with the girls. Life with Matt seems to keep getting better each day; he’s not at home much, though. He spends a lot of time down at his parents’ with the other guys working on the album.

He leaves me here alone. For two main reasons. One, Denmore. Matt doesn’t want me anywhere near him; even though I get the impression he doesn’t appear so worried about him. Two, he thinks I distract him too much. Hah. I guess that’s a two way street, though. Matt distracts me, as well. Especially when I’m trying to do something he’s instructed me to do. Then again, maybe he’s just testing my resolve.

Speaking of that, my twin seems resolute in her belief that Brian is going to propose to her, any day now. She’s called a few times, gushing about how amazing he is. How much he loves her, dotes on her. Like I’ve already said, I envy their relationship a little. Not just for the little romantic things, but ‘cause of the bigger picture. Matt will never propose to me. I will never have any hope of being asked to marry someone. I’m a slave...and no slave has ever...

Anyway, I think she might just be right. Matt’s been saying similar things, except he hasn’t been as nice about it. Then again that seems to be the story of his relationship with my twin. Tolerant is the word I think I should use to describe the way they are toward each other. Nothing more, nothing less. I wish I could do something to change it, but it’s not really my place. Besides, they’re both grown adults, so they should be able to sort themselves out.

And I have my own issues to deal with.

Nightmares. I never remember my dreams. Or at least I didn’t prior to the day where Matt...hurt me. I mean, that’s not entirely true, I do remember my dreams, but usually only vague afterthoughts and impressions. No, the one I’ve experienced several times, now; this one I remember vividly. It’s not something I wish to repeat, though. Suffice to say that it involves me being forced to... Ugh, I can’t even say it. But, I think it’s obvious what it’s about.

Right now I’m sitting outside by the pool, dangling my feet in the water. Bella’s sitting next to me her muzzle resting on my shoulder. It’s quiet, peaceful. Matt’s been gone a few hours now; he didn’t give me any instructions, just hinted that Michelle or one of the other girls might pop around sometime. Don’t know who it will be.

Before he left I got the feeling he wanted to say something to me, but didn’t. He’s been treating me with kid gloves the past few days. It’s a little awkward between us. I mean, he’s no less firm with me, no less tender either. It’s just a different atmosphere. Tense, anxious. I’m sure we’ll get through it, though. I mean sure, what we feel for each other is illegal, and if anyone, i.e. the Guild, finds out well we’ll be in a lot of shit.

Part of me is believing for good things, though. Being positive is the only way I’ll let myself be. I know Matt is trying to stay optimistic, as well. There is one thing we haven’t done since then. He hasn’t asked for anything sexual of me. I have a feeling he’s been spending a lot of time with his right hand, at least he’s been using the bathroom in private a lot more. Oh and he avoids brushing up against me...and he wears his boxers to bed...

I don’t know how to feel about all that. That’s never been something that’s come to mind when I was with my other masters. Then again maybe it did and I never noticed. Who knows whether it’s true, or not, that men think about sex all the time. From experience, I’m sure that’s not the case. Well, with Matt I’m sure that’s not true. At least fifty percent of the time he’s thinking about music. Hah. Yeah, that wasn’t funny.

It’s comforting on one level, that he’s taking great pains to not pressure me too much, but at the same time we both have needs. Sexual needs; it’s a biological imperative and I know, sooner or later he won’t be able to ignore them. And just doing it with Mr Hand won’t be enough for him. I know this for a fact, considering the number of men I’ve serviced in my life.

No man can last for too long without a woman to fuck. It’s the truth. Unless they’re gay, then they can’t go out with sleeping with another guy. Oh, and just a random point, there are male slaves. Not many...but y’know the Guild caters to all sorts of people. And, yes, some of them have male owners. Oh and some female slaves have mistresses....and I really have no idea why I’m saying all this. It’s not even relevant to my situation.

Bella interrupts my contemplation, bumping the tip of her very wet nose against my left cheek. I giggle, grabbing at her collar and trying to push her away from me, telling her to leave off. She doesn’t obey me, but that’s no surprise. She has one master. Only listens to him. The same man who happens to be mine.

I guess I’m like a play buddy for her, or something. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s great. I believe all the hype about how pets are good for one’s health. Aside from getting you out for a walk once or twice a day, every day of the week, having a pet boosts energy levels and oddly enough, happiness levels.

Which, I’ll take a bucket load of, right now, thanks very much. She seems to agree with my sentiment, because she lets out a soft yip, and then bumps up against me again, licking me all over my face. I giggle, grabbing at her muzzle and wiping at my face.

“She giving you a bath, Val?”

I jump at the voice, and turn my head; Bella peels away from me and dashes toward the person who’s just walking out of the house. It’s Michelle. She laughs and lifts a knee slightly as the blonde dog jumps at her.

“Down, Bella.” Surprisingly she obeys my sister, flopping down at her feet. Michelle reaches down to scratch behind her ears then she straightens and looks over at me. I smile at her. She joins me at the edge of the pool, kicking off her sandals, dipping her toes into the water.

“This is nice.” She wiggles her toes. “Whatcha doing out here on your lonesome?”

I shrug. “Just thinking...Matt’s with the guys...”

“I know, I just came from his parent’s place, dropped Bri off.” Michelle leans back on her hands, tilting her gaze up to the sky. She goes on, while I admire her profile. “They’re getting on well with the new material... they reckon it’s going to be the best they’ve ever done.”

I nod.

She glances at me. “I guess you wouldn’t know about that, though?”

Shaking my head, I look away from her.

There’s a pause then Michelle sighs. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like-”

“It’s okay,” I interrupt her apology. “You’re right. But, y’know, it’s exciting, even though I don’t really understand what’s going on.” I look at her. “I think they’re amazing as a band. I saw them live...just before Matt...bought me.” Yes. I just went there. I mean, it’s no revelation to my twin. She knows. I just don’t like to mention the ‘b’ word too much.

Michelle’s lips twitch. “I still wonder how that guy...what was his name?”

“Giovanni.” The thought of that fat man still nauseates me. Ick.

“Yeah, him. I still wonder what he was even doing at that gig with you.” My twin looks at me the expression on her face making me laugh a little. A mixture of confusion and gratitude flicker across her eyes.

I shift my weight, kicking my feet against the surface of the water, watching it ripple in the sunlight. “No idea. Maybe it was fate.”

“Well, whatever it was, I’m glad.”

We share a smile with each other. She’s glad. I’m glad. We’re both glad. It’s an emotion I’m not accustomed to, but I like the feeling.

We let quiet settle on us, just enjoying the warmth of the sun’s rays streaming down on us. There’s a light breeze that sets the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck to tingling. After awhile, Michelle changes position so she’s on her side observing me. I can feel her eyes on me.

I tilt my head. “What is it?”

Michelle tugs at her bottom lip. Then says, “You know Matt has a sister?”

I blink, wondering at the randomness of her comment. She gets a little pink and lowers her eyes. I tilt my head more.

“Chelle?” When she doesn’t answer, I say, “Matt told me she was your best friend...a long time ago.”

Michelle lifts her chin, her mouth getting a set look to it. “So, I guess he told you about our falling out.” It’s not a question.

I bite my lip not really sure how to answer that. Matt telling me about it, he was extremely raw over it and I know it’s not my place to comment on it.

My twin saves me the trouble, groaning softly, shaking her hair out of the tie that’s holding it back. She slides the tie over her hand leaving it to hang around her slim wrist.

“I miss her. Being friends with her. Amy and I were so close.” Michelle glances at me, to check my reaction, I guess. I just nod, she continues. “We talked about everything. I guess she was the sister I was missing...”

I can understand that sentiment. I always felt that way even when I was around lots of people. Just a missing part inside of me that I didn’t think I would ever fulfil.

Michelle crosses her arms under her breasts. “But, I didn’t get along with Matt.”

I give a little smirk. “Yeah, I couldn’t tell.”

She rolls her eyes. “I know. It’s hardly a secret. Amy never knew, though. I mean short of the whole ‘your big brother is annoying’ thing.” She huffs. “Guess it’s better than the ‘oh my God your brother is so hot’ deal.”

I grimace.

Michelle smiles as she says, “Social mores. A girl can’t lust over her best girlfriend’s brother, and a guy can’t lust over his best guy friend’s sister...it’s just etiquette.”

See, that’s something else I don’t have any knowledge of. Being a slave sort of secludes you from what’s the norm of society. For me, what’s normal is being owned by men and used for sex. That’s normal to me. And being lusted over is the norm too.

I shake my head. “So, you pretended for her sake?”

“Exactly. And then I fell for some crack-head and basically alienated her and Matt.” Michelle lifts her shoulders. “Didn’t give a shit about him, but...it killed me when she blabbed behind my back to him and his friend.”

“Brian...” I murmur.

“Yeah. My Bri...” Michelle gets a wistful look then shakes it off. “I think I secretly liked him, even way back then...but my head was up in the clouds. Y’know? That guy...the one I went with. He was rich. Had everything you could ever imagine. I wanted that, y’know? I mean we were doing okay. Mom and Dad raised us kids the best they could.” She frowns, chancing a look at me.

I wave at her to go on. I’ve long since forgiven our parents for giving me up. It’s not their fault how my life turned out.

“Yeah, but...this guy. Damn, he wanted for nothing.” Michelle laughs bitterly. “Little did I know what kind of person he really was...” She rubs at her face. “Matt and Brian both saw it...Amy did too. I mean...he was older than us...” She sighs. “Anyway, I’m sure Matt’s told you what happened...”

I pull my feet from the water, wiggling my toes to dry them. “Yeah...but...” I hesitate.

“But?” She quirks an eyebrow.

I note how neat she manages to keep them, and absently run a finger over mine. “Matt says that’s not all...”

“Not all?” Michelle purses her lips. “Oh.” It dawns on her. “You mean us not getting along?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to say, though...”

“Nah. I think I should tell you.” Michelle sits up, lifting her feet out of the water as well. She brushes at her legs, water drops catching the light and shimmering. Getting comfortable, she takes a couple of moments before meeting my eyes again.

I wrap my arms around my knees, propping my chin against them, ready to hear whatever she has to say.

Michelle exhales a rough sound. “Well.” She clears her throat. “It was when we first moved into their street, actually. It wasn’t even anything that had to do with school.” She looks toward me. “Mom and dad said we had to downsize...couldn’t afford the place we were living in. So we upped and moved to the same street where Matt’s parents still live now.”

I nod, wondering how that was. Then I’ve moved so many times...I know how it is to be torn from one place and shunted to another.

“Anyway, I met Matt in the street one day and, uh, I think it was mutual hatred at first sight.” She gives a sharp laugh. “I don’t know what he saw...maybe he thought I was some stuck up bitch. I know I thought he was just some lame ass loser kid.” Michelle smiles sadly, shaking her head. “Every chance he got he’d rib me about everything he could think of...the way I dressed, the way I talked...the fact that we were a large family crammed into this tiny house.”

She pauses, a faraway look coming to her eyes. I don’t press, just continue listening, waiting.

“And then I met Amy at school.” A smile passes across her lips, softening the sharp edges of her face. “I couldn’t believe she and Matt were even related. She was too sweet to me.”

“And Matt wasn’t,” I say. Stating the obvious, but I just want to clarify.

Michelle inclines her head a little. “Yeah. He was an asshole to me...to put it kindly.” She rubs a finger along her left arm then sucks at her bottom lip. A habit we seem to share. “I don’t really know why. I never did anything to him. At least not back then.” Which obviously means since then she’s given back as much as he gave.

Michelle smirks as she goes on again. “He wasn’t too bad if I was hanging out with Amy...guess he didn’t want to upset her, or something.” She chews on the inside of her left fingernail then looks at me. “When I went out with that guy...he was even nice enough to his sister to try and convince me the guy was bad news. I mean...Brian was part of it too...I’d met him through school...and aside from him being Matt’s friend...I thought he was okay.”

I rub my cheek and point out, “They both tried to get you away from that guy. ‘cause Amy told them about him.”

“True. I was so pissed at her. I kind of lost my way there. And then, well you already know what happened, right?”

I nod, “Yeah, Matt told me.”

Michelle sighs. “Yeah...after that, I quit having anything to do with any of them...and Matt quit bothering me.” She stops speaking for a moment, frowning at her hands, rubbing them together. Then she says, “But then I...” She pauses again, dragging her fingers through her hair. It’s obvious she’s trying to figure out how to continue.

“You got with Brian...” I prompt, figuring that’s the most likely cause of any other contention between them.

“Yeah, Matt hated that.” Michelle exhales a soft sigh. “It was all very well that we weren’t acknowledging each other, anymore. But when I fell for Brian... Matt claimed I stole his best friend from him.” She rolls her eyes again. “I have to say, I could never get between the guys and their friendship. They have the band. If I’d actually done any lasting damage to their relationship, the band could never have happened. But...your man...he likes to hold a grudge.”

I flush. “He’s not my man.”

My twin gives me this disbelieving look, which tells me exactly what she thinks of my statement.

“Chelle...he’s my master,” I protest.

She continues to glare at me. I sigh, lying back on the concrete. I don’t want to argue with her. Takes way too much energy.

Bella bounces over and starts licking me again. I can’t help but giggle, breaking the tension. Michelle laughs too, grabbing at her collar and pulling her away from me. Bella settles down as my twin begins to stroke her between the ears.

Then she looks at me, face serious. “Say what you like, sis. But he is your man. I mean, if he didn’t own you, you’d totally go for him, right?”

I sigh. “Can’t lie there...” Pressing my hands over my face for a moment, I mumble, “But we were talking about you and Brian.”

Michelle moves so she’s sitting closer to me. Reaching over, she rests a hand against my shoulder. I gaze into her sincere face.

“Look,” she says, “Honestly, whatever happened in the past doesn’t matter. I’m willing to put all my shit to bed if it means you get to be happy.”

I cock my head at her. She’s just spent the last half an hour spilling her guts about all that and she tells me it doesn’t matter. I don’t know if I can believe that. But, at the same time, I can’t really argue with her.

She doesn’t give me a chance to, as she states, “You love Matt...I can tell.”

I flush a little, ducking my head down. Hearing it from her makes me realise how true it is, and that even though he’s said it to me, I have yet to say it out loud, like really say it, to his face, up front.

I bite my lip, keeping my eyes on the ground. “You can?”

Michelle purses her lips, nodding slowly. “Yeah.” She pauses for a moment then adds, voice low, “Y’know? I think you fell in love with him very early...before either of you even knew it.” She smiles warmly at me. “You two are good together.”

A tingle runs down my spine at her words, as if she has just said something extremely prophetic. It’s like what she’s saying is that this is meant to happen. I’m meant to be where I am, right now. That this is right. And everything is going to be okay.

I close my eyes for a moment, nodding in agreement at her declaration. “Yeah...we are, aren’t we?”

Michelle smiles, pulling me into her arms for a hug. I embrace her, tight.

Then she murmurs as we rock a little. “I’m so glad you’re home, sis...”

I choke up at her words, thinking, home...yeah...it almost feels like that...almost...

But all I say in response, as we remain holding onto each other, is, “Me too, sis...me too...”

You have me so unsettled by this that as soon as I read that Val was home alone I had this awful feeling that Robert was gonna be dropping by for another visit. What developed was a seriously sweet chapter

Hehehe

~~~~


Part Thirty – “I look like a monkey’s uncle.”

When I was really little, we – the family – went to a party. It was for somebody’s wedding, a cousin, or an uncle. I can’t really remember. However, I do remember the colours. There were so many different shades of the rainbow that it was extremely overwhelming to my young eyes. I knew my colours, you know the old acronym? ROY-G-BIV? That was one we learned really early, I think one of my brothers taught me that.

The one dress that I have a vivid impression of was this stunning pink summer gown that my mother was wearing. It had these lace frills around the neck, which I can remember wanting to play with whenever she held me. Which incidentally, wasn’t as often as I would’ve liked. She doted more on my brothers, and Michelle than me.

But, I was talking about the colours, wasn’t I?

That uncle, or cousin, whose party it was, he was wearing a pale blue dinner suit. Yeah, it was kind of the fashion, apparently. The colour of the sky. Honestly, I don’t think men should wear pale blue suits. It looks too much like someone stole the sky and made it into thread to make clothes out of. And he was wearing a fuchsia cummerbund which really did not match the rest of his suit...

Okay, what the hell; where did THAT come from? I don’t even know. And, even though I told Michelle and Matt and everyone else that I didn’t remember much about my life with my family...I remembered something like this? I have no idea of the significance of this memory. But, I guess the human mind is weird like that.

Maybe it’s supposed to remind me that life isn’t always about the significant drama-filled moments. That life is just as much about the other experiences that we have, that we should savour every part of it and try to remember it all.

Or maybe I’m just reading too much into my own thoughts. Maybe...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I am not going to wear that. You can’t make me wear that, are you fucking serious?”

Jimmy is raging in the background somewhere. Gena and I can hear him lamenting Leana’s choice of clothing for an appearance the band’s going to do for the local radio station. Zacky’s girl and I are sitting in the living room. She’s reading a novel, the sound of turning pages somewhat soothing.

I have my journal in my lap, pen in hand, scribbling away. After a moment, I pause from my writing, and glance at over at her.

“Why is he complaining? It’s not like people will be able to see him.”

Gena just laughs, shaking her head. “No idea. I think he just enjoys whining at her.”

“Who enjoys whining?” Matt’s deep voice enters the room, moments before the man himself does. I peek up at him and smile faintly. He joins me on the sofa, sinking down into the leather as he drapes an arm along the back of the seat. A small smirk tugs at the corners of his lips as he looks expectantly at me.

I lean back and he shifts his hand to rub at my skin, his thumb moving in slow circles against the nape of my neck.

“Val? Who’re you talking about?”

I give him a weird look and dart my eyes toward the kitchen just as Jimmy’s voice floats out through the door.

“No. I’ll look like a fucking peacock. Zacky’s the peacock. I can’t be the fucking peacock!”

Then Zacky’s voice joins the fray. “Hey! Get off my dick.”

Then the two men alternate, their voices getting louder as they rail at each other, punctuated by raucous laughter.

“I’m not on your dick, V. What the hell?”

“I thought you were talking about my-”

“No. I said I’m going to look like a peacock. You’re supposed to look like a peacock.”

“I don’t have a pea-cock.”

“Go take a piss with your cock.”

“Ha ha ha...” Zacky mocks, “that was funny?”

Matt snorts, shaking his head, amusement glimmering in his eyes. But he says nothing about his friends’ antics. Instead he looks across at Gena then returns his gaze to my face. I bite the inside of my cheek, sensing he’s about to say something. His expression is a little more serious than a moment ago. Brow furrowing, he’s obviously thinking hard on something.

But before he can say anything, Jimmy flounces into the room his hair flying everywhere a look of exasperation all over his face.

“Fu-uck! I look like a monkey’s uncle!”

I blink rapidly at the tall man. Leana and Zacky appear behind him, the former looking as flustered as any woman possibly can; the latter appearing highly amused.

Matt shifts so he can look over toward his friend, and then he lets out a loud bark of laughter at the other man’s appearance.

“What the hell are you wearing, man?”

I stare at Jimmy. He’s wearing a bright red smoking jacket over a pale blue shirt. On his head, perching precariously is a black and red top hat. Hanging over the brim is an explosion of colour. A rainbow-coloured feather boa is draped around the hat the end dangling down over his shoulder. He looks like a ringmaster from a circus. He looks...like my uncle did...that one time. I blink slowly taking it in.

Jimmy notices me staring and beams at me, the annoyance that was there a moment ago, disappearing in characteristic Jimmy speed.

“Whaddaya reckon, Val? Do I look crazy as shit, or what?” He spreads his arms up and out, as if modelling himself.

Unable to form words, I hold a hand in front of my mouth as I giggle softly.

Matt scoffs, “You look fucking ridiculous.”

“Blame Le,” Jimmy jerks a thumb at his fiancée, who is slowly shaking her head at us from behind him and mouthing that it isn’t her fault.

Matt, of course, is right on top of that and just gives his friend a disbelieving look. Jimmy sighs and flops down on the other couch splaying his long legs out in front of him, while adjusting the hat on his head. Leana shakes her head and disappears back into the kitchen. Zacky comes out and leans against the back of the sofa Matt and I are on.

“So, when do we have to leave?”

Matt glances at the clock on the wall, his thumb still kneading lightly at the back of my neck. I lean into his touch, eyes half open. He smiles at me, hazel eyes warm. Then he looks up at his friend.

“Half an hour. Where’re Syn and Johnny?”

Zacky crosses his arms, rocking against the back of the sofa as he answers, “Meeting us there.”

Jimmy pipes up, “I thought Syn wasn’t even coming? He said something about surprising Chelle at work...or something?”

“Oh?” Matt cocks an eyebrow, eyes narrowing. “What the hell for?”

I tilt my head giving Jimmy an equally quizzical look. The drummer chortles, clapping his hands together.

“What do you think, Shads? He’s gonna pop the question, duh.”

Matt just stares at him. Then scowls, pulling his hand away from the back of my neck, lurching up off the couch and stalking out of the room. Jimmy’s smile falters for a second but then settles as he rolls his eyes.

“Asshat,” he mumbles a hint of amusement in his voice. He obviously doesn’t think much of Matt’s attitude toward my twin.

Gena puts a finger in place in her book and looks at me. “Go after him, Val...”

I bite my lip, feeling uncertain. I don’t really want to go check on him. Guess I’m a little anxious how he’ll react. Jimmy catches my wary look and points toward the door.

“Go, Val. Talk to your man.”

I scrunch my face up his statement. That’s the second time someone’s called Matt my man...but this time I don’t bother trying to correct him. Jimmy doesn’t listen to anyone.

Hesitating, I tug at the hem of the skirt I’m wearing, and brush at a lock of hair that’s dangling in front of my face. Then I stand, slowly, rubbing at my arms.

Zacky, who’s still leaning against the back of the couch, smiles kindly. “He’s just pissy about Michelle...”

I shake my head at him and murmur cautiously, “That’s no news...”

“True.” The guitarist grimaces, sucking on his piercings.

I force a smile to my lips then head out of the living room, peeking down the hall to see if he’s down there. He’s not. I inhale deep, before making my way down it, looking in each room I pass. The laundry, couple of spare rooms, Matt’s gaming room, the office... I’m about to walk past the office, not thinking he’d be in there; he never goes in there during the day...

“Valary. In here.”

Scratch that thought. I back track and pop my head around the door. Matt’s sitting on his large leather swivel chair, arms hanging loose over the armrests. One foot is resting against what looks like a rolling stool that looks out of place in the room. It probably should be behind a drum kit. His other shoe is planted firmly on the floor.

Before going in, I pause for a moment just taking in his appearance. His expression is stern; the dark clothes he’s wearing giving him an almost inapproachable aura. He’s in M Shadows mode. Guess it goes with the territory, since this interview today is the first one for awhile. The guys are going to be talking up the writing process so far for their new album. He crosses his arms, flexing them absently. I swallow hard, stepping into the room.

“Master?”

He frowns, pushing the stool away from him, causing it to roll toward me. “Sit.”

I do so, perching on the top of the stool and bracing myself for whatever he might say. Matt continues to frown, jogging his left knee up and down in an irritated motion. I press my hands together between my knees gazing at the floor, counting the small diamond patterns on the carpet. Silence settles heavily in the room, and I wonder whether this is all we’re going to do, considering we’ll have to go to the radio soon.

But then Matt clears his throat and asks, “What’d you and Chelle talk about, yesterday?”

I lift my eyes to his. His face hasn’t changed. His eyes are still dark. For a second I contemplate not answering his question. But his expression is so severe that I decide not to push it.

“Um...about you and her, Master...” I bite my lip then add, “And your sister...and Brian...”

Matt gets this look like he’s just tasted something really bad. “Is that all?”

Blinking at him, I feel a soft flush spread across my face. I duck my head down unable to meet his questioning gaze.

“Valary?”

“Um...no...there was something else.”

“And that was?” Matt’s voice is low, but I know by his tone that not telling him is not an option. But I feel a bit embarrassed telling him.

His voice softens as he prompts me, “Val, I’m just curious...”

I blink hard, realising my eyes are a little wet. I give a little laugh, while wiping at the corners of my eyes.

“Me...and you, Master...”

Matt smiles then, his features losing their hard edge; rolling forward so he can place his hands on my knees. He gently pries them apart and takes my hands in his. His hands are so warm around mine, his touch so tender. I feel my breath catch in my throat. And, not for the first time, I wonder on how lucky I am to have ended up with him.

I lower my head an upwelling of emotion catching me and causing tears to start prickling at my eyes.

“Hey...hey...it’s okay...” Matt lifts a hand and gently brushes a tear away from my cheek with his thumb. “I’m here, hun...”

That just about undoes me. A sob escapes.

“Aww, Val...” Matt shifts even closer and pulls me into his arms, sweeping his hand up and down my back. I cling to him, tucking my head into his chest.

Sniffling, I try to speak into the solid warmth of his body, but words won’t come. Matt ‘shushes’ me gently, rocking me. I take several deep breaths letting myself relax into him. He nuzzles into my hair, stroking at my back before shifting us so we both end up on the floor. I wriggle into a more comfortable position, leaning into his body.

He smiles at me, caressing the back of a finger along my cheekbone. I bite at the inside of my cheek. He tilts his head at me.

“Whatcha thinking?”

I keep chewing nervously. He raises his eyebrows at me. I blush. There are far too many things going on in my head right now.

Obviously, sensing that, he chuckles. “Val?”

I shake my head, not sure I want to go there. “You asked a question.”

Matt smirks. “You answered.”

I mumble, “Not really...”

“Really? Well then, what’s the answer?” He tilts my chin up so he can look me in the eye.

There are so many ways I can answer that, but I can’t really formulate words. At least, not enough to articulate my thoughts. Instead, trembling, I murmur, “I love you...” And then I promptly burst into tears. That took all of me to say that, and something in me breaks.

Matt’s arms tighten around me, but he says nothing, which I’m grateful for. I don’t think I can handle all that typical ‘shush it’s gonna be okay’ spiel. Not after announcing my feelings to him. Talking is not something that helps in a situation like this, I think. Better to sit in quiet and let everything wash over us.

I snuggle into him; Matt begins to rock me, stroking a hand down my back, rubbing softly. You know, it’s those small touches of his that do much more for me than any words can. I know it’s his way of showing me how much he cares for me. How much he... loves me. He’s very tactile, so am I. I can’t go without being near him so if I reach out to him I come into contact with some part of him. He grounds me, gives me something to support myself. And that’s something I’ve always needed in my life.

We remain close like that for several long minutes, until we hear footsteps approaching down the hall.

Zacky pokes his head around the doorframe and raises his eyebrows at us. “Oi, lovebirds.”

Matt frowns at his friend. “What, V?”

Zacky leans in the doorway, folding his arms in front of him. “We gotta head out. What’re you two doing in here?”

I flush and look down, feeling a little nervous at being caught out in such an intimate moment.

Matt growls, obviously not happy about the interruption either, “Talking.”

The guitarist smiles faintly, nodding. “Right. Well, we have to go.”

Matt sighs, “’Kay, give us a sec...”

Zacky smirks, “I’ll give you two secs...enough time to steal a kiss or two.”

I blink at that.

Matt snorts, “Fuck off, Zacky.”

His friend winks at me and leaves. I bite my lip, peeking up at my master. He has an odd expression on his face. He catches my eye, cocking an eyebrow at me. My cheeks flush, and I lower my eyes again.

The corners of Matt’s lips twitch upwards in a small smile as he cups my chin in his hand, tilting my face back up. I shiver as he brushes a thumb over my bottom lip. Then he leans down to press a kiss to my forehead.

“C’mon, we should get going.”

He helps me up, pushing up after me. I can’t help but stare at his arms as he gets up. Looks like he’s been working out again. He smirks, catching my eye again. This time I don’t look away, just continue admiring him. Matt chuckles low in the back of his throat, wrapping an arm around my waist, and squeezing. I lean into his side, letting him walk me out of the office.

The others are waiting at the front door. Jimmy is fiddling with his hat, staring off into space. The girls are chatting with each other and Zacky is leaning against the wall, keys jingling from his hand. They all look over as we join them.

“’Bout fucking time,” Jimmy says with a grin.

“He was getting bored,” Leana comments, shaking her head.

Matt rolls his eyes. “Well, we can’t have that.” He looks over at Zacky. “I’m driving.”

The guitarist tosses the keys to him. Matt catches them then looks down at me. I peer up at him. He smiles, eyes warm. Then, without another word, he leads me out to the SUV, the others coming out behind us.

Time for the band to put on their public hats. A couple of interviews, and I think even a meet and greet with fans...

First time since the tour when Matt bought me and I’m sure it’s going to be an interesting day.

Oooh, I wonder what's gonna happen at the radio station thingy *is all thinky*

Thinky I like that word

~~~~~


Part Thirty-One – “We’re all into honesty here, right?”

“So, Matt. I’ve heard some rumours about you.”

“Rumours?”

“Yeah, I mean asides from the ones about how you can bench press a thousand pounds...and are ten feet tall.”

Matt snorts, shaking his head. “Those are real old...I can bench double that.”

The radio host chuckles then continues. “Anyway, what I hear is that you have some chick chained up in your basement...”

Zacky laughs, chiming in, “What? Shads has a basement? That’s news to me.”

“Yeah, it’s for if we get hurricanes, Zack...you should get one.” Matt rolls his eyes then turns his gaze to the host. “As to that rumour...” He pauses, glancing over to the corner of the studio where I’m sitting quietly, watching and listening.

We’ve been in the studio for over half an hour already and Matt insisted I come into the booth with them, because he didn’t want to leave me waiting outside. The host doesn’t seem too put off my presence, though he hasn’t actually acknowledged me or anything. But, I didn’t think Matt was expecting to deal with any questions about the whole slave thing...or even just having it alluded too.

I tilt my head at him, curious as to how he’ll answer it. Part of me is wondering how that rumour even eventuated, but another is just wondering how Matt will field it. The question, that is.

The host catches Matt’s quick look towards me and raises his eyebrows. “Is that..?”

Matt frowns, and I see thoughts passing across his eyes. “We’re all into honesty here, right?” he finally speaks up.

The host nods. “Of course. I detest liars.” He smirks to soften the statement.

“Me too,” Matt says. Shifting his weight, he leans in to the microphone. “That’s Val...sitting behind us. And she is my...” he hesitates on the word, darting a look at me again. I bite my lip, but try a smile, wanting to support him in any way I can.

“She’s your...?” the host prompts.

Matt grimaces but manages to get out, “She belongs to me.”

“Belongs to you?” the host blinks, an expression of incredulity appearing on his face. “Is that some kind of macho controlling ‘she’s my girl and no one else is allowed to look or touch’ thing...or...?”

My master clears his throat, roughly. “I don’t wanna say the word...”

It dawns on the host, though. I can even imagine the tiny light bulb flashing above his head.

He keeps blinking as he says, “You mean she’s literally your...your slave?”

I look down at the host’s shocked question, only just catching Matt’s scowl toward the other man.

“Yeah, but I don’t ‘chain her up in the basement’...where’d you hear that?”

The host seems a little taken aback by Matt’s initial response, but manages to gather himself to answer the follow-up question. I lift my eyes again as he speaks. “It was probably just a joke...I’m sure the person who told me, meant nothing by it.”

Matt props his elbows against the table the guys are sitting at across from the host. Johnny, Brian and Jimmy are all there as well, but it seems to be more the Matt and Zacky show, because they’re doing most of the talking. Jimmy is actually spending more time with his back to the table, facing me and pulling faces. I try to ignore him, keeping my focus on Matt.

“Who said that?” There’s a hint of steel to his tone. He’s upset. Not that surprising, really. The whole thing of him owning me is extremely private, and usually personal questions of this nature aren’t asked by interviewers. Guess this one is a little more ballsy...

The host holds up a hand as if to placate Matt. “The caller gave no name. Just said he’d heard it on the grape vine...” He leans forward against the table, looking at him. “Anyway, I don’t know much about this whole...slave thing. Got any comments you want to make on it? I’m sure the listeners would be interested.”

“Abraham Lincoln should’ve outlawed it,” Zacky mutters, fiddling with his piercings.

Matt nods to him. “True. But no one listened to him, obviously.”

The guitarist scoffs, “That’s because they’re fucking idiots.”

“Yeah, there is that,” Matt sighs, looking back at the host. “I think it’s fucking crazy, really. The only reason I even considered getting Val was because her previous...owner,” the word catches at the back his throat; he coughs, shaking his head then continues, “brought her to a gig...and he was...y’know trying to sell her off.” He glances over toward me; I look down at the floor.

He goes on. “She looked so...I don’t know...lost.”

The host smirks slightly, “You decided to be her knight in shining armour?”

“That’s so fucking cliché.” Matt shrugs. “But, yeah. Guess so.”

“That’s admirable. Y’know? That’s what I like about you guys.” The host grins. “You’re all for the good in the world. I mean, your music is a bit twisted...sometimes, but you’re all genuinely great guys. There’s not enough people like you in the world.”

Zacky chuckles, rolling his eyes. “We try.”

“Yeah, we do. And we don’t do bullshit, either,” Matt points out, rather needlessly from my point of view.

I know from experience that Matt absolutely detests people who bullshit all the time. If it’s meant in fun, it’s okay...but those who do it and mean it...Matt can’t, or maybe won’t, hack that. I know I’m always as honest as I possibly can be around him. Perhaps not entirely open, but I try not to ever lie to him. Withholding information is one thing, outright lying is another.

The host settles back in his chair, nodding sagely at Matt’s statement. “Yeah, I hate bullshit as well.”

Jimmy, at that moment, decides to chime in. He’s still facing me, so I can see the mad twinkle in his eyes as he says, “How do you know you hate bullshit? You ever tasted it?” He says all this while waggling his eyebrows at me. I have to look away.

There’s this split second of maddening ‘what the hell’ silence, and then Matt cracks up laughing. Zacky, too, gives a snort before breaking into his characteristic giggle. He doesn’t sound like a girl, mind. It’s a masculine chuckle, but not a full deep-chested belly laugh. Johnny and Brian follow suit until they’re all attempting to hold themselves together, wiping at their eyes, shaking their heads. Meanwhile, I’m still attempting to stifle mine...

“What the fuck, dude...” Matt slaps a hand against his thigh. “Jesus, Rev...”

As the others quieten down, Jimmy swings around and glowers at them. “You two were being too serious.” He points a mock accusing finger at the singer. “You’re all, fucking like... ‘this is such a serious topic I gotta act all sombre and shit...’” He turns the digit to the guitarist. “And you... you’re all ‘yeah...I gotta be serious like Shads... frown, frown, frown...’”

With my hand over my mouth, I fight not to burst into even more fits of giggles. The drummer does this to me every time. Luckily the others are focusing their attention on Jimmy as well, so I’m safe from any questioning looks they might give me.

“Well, it’s a serious subject, Rev,” Matt murmurs. “It’s not something to joke about.”

Jimmy snorts, shaking his head, the top hat falling off his head onto the floor. “Never said that it was. Just...” he throws his hands in the air and yells, “let’s change the subject!”

I jump a little at his outburst; the others groan rolling their eyes at the drummer. I hear Brian mutter under his breath, ‘fuckin’ A...’. Johnny slumps in his seat, smirking at the taller male. Matt and Zacky just sigh. Jimmy pouts at them all. There’s a brief pause where all the guys are just looking at each other.

Then Matt laughs, breaking the tension, as he reaches down and grabs the drummer’s hat, jamming it back on his head.

“Here. Quit losing shit and calm down. We’ll change the topic...’kay?”

Jimmy gets this big grin on his face. I giggle again; he catches my eye and winks at me. Matt notices and smirks faintly. I flush and lower my gaze.

The host chuckles deciding that it’s time to move the segment along. “Well, we’re actually almost done here guys...but, as you may know, we ran a comp a little while ago for fans to come in for a meet and greet.”

“Yay! Let’s meet the people!” The drummer springs up from his seat and dashes, all long legs, to the door.

Matt laughs some more, shaking his head. “Dude, you’ll scare them all away.”

“Oh, but...” Jimmy pouts then his eyes light up as a thought comes to him. “No they won’t! They love me best! You’ll scare them away, you big meanie!”

The others groan. Zacky lifts his eyebrows, leaning forward. “You didn’t just call Shads a ‘meanie’?”

“He did,” Matt says. “He definitely did.”

Jimmy turns to look at me directly, once again, an imploring expression on his face. I glance at him, seeing the look and sensing what he might be just about to ask me, and wondering exactly how I will respond, when he does.

“You agree, don’t you, Val? Matt’s a big meanie. Right?”

I knew it. Why does he have to ask me that? I mean, I know he’s kidding around, but Matt’s my master. Jimmy waggles his eyebrows at me like he was doing before. I can’t help but giggle again, but I don’t dare look over at Matt. Instead I shake my head hard.

“No...he’s not.”

Matt chuckles softly. “She’s got you there, big guy.”

Jimmy glowers back at him. “She’s only saying that ‘cause you own her.”

I catch the tensing of Matt’s shoulders, the narrowing of his eyes. That infamous temper of his is simmering right at the surface. I have a feeling that even though the drummer is half-joking, Matt is right on the verge of losing his cool. Then, I guess me being a slave isn’t a laughing matter as he has already mentioned.

The host picks up on the growing tension and I notice that he’s standing now, making his way to the door, and joining the drummer. Jimmy, though, won’t let it alone.

He moves back toward us and waves a hand at me while looking at Matt. “Fuck, Shads. If you didn’t own her, I’m sure she’d be agreeing with me.”

Matt grits out, “That doesn’t even fucking matter.”

“Of course it does.” Jimmy folds his arms and pouts at him.

“No it doesn’t,” Matt groans. “You want to know why?”

“Why, Shads?”

“Because it’s different with us.”

Jimmy snorts. The others are now glancing between the three of us: me, Jimmy and Matt. I shift forward on my chair, looking toward Matt now. He’s actually glaring at the drummer now; his eyes are intense.

Jimmy’s reaction is to keep laughing. “Different? How? You’re her master. I don’t see what’s different about that.”

There’s a split seconds pause then Matt practically growls, “Because I love her, you douche.”

The look on Jimmy’s face after that is absolutely priceless. His jaw literally drops and he just stares at Matt like he’s grown a second head, or something. I mean, it’s not really a news flash, or anything. I think everyone realises that there are feelings between us. I think he’s more shocked by the fact that Matt is openly admitting it. Because we all know Matt’s usually a closed book when it comes to his emotions. Unless of course something’s made him angry. And then, well, watch out...

“Wow. Just. Fucking, wow.” Jimmy closes his mouth and shakes his head at Matt. Then says, “That’s...weird.”

“Weird?” Matt asks, standing up. “How is that weird?”

Jimmy just shakes his head some more, looking over at me, catching my eye. I look away, biting the inside of my cheek. There’s another pause then I hear footsteps and I recognise Matt’s shoes appearing in my line of vision. He crouches down in front of me and rests his hands lightly against my knees. He says nothing, though, just stays there, close to me.

I peek up at Matt; he smiles then looks over his shoulder at Jimmy who’s staring at us. “You gonna tell me, Rev?”

“No.” Jimmy smirks then dashes for the door. “Lemme out, I want to meet the fans!” The host laughs, opening the door and letting him pass.

Matt rolls his eyes, moving his thumbs in lazy circles against my knees. The others get up to follow Jimmy out the door.

Zacky, pausing in the doorway, looks back at us, and raises his eyebrows. “You two coming?”

Matt shakes his head. “Give us a minute.”

“Right.” He turns and follows the others. The host goes out behind him, meaning that Matt and I are the only ones left in the room.

We’re quiet for a moment, just letting the silence settle us; then Matt speaks. “Val,” his voice is low, “you don’t have to go out there, if you don’t want.”

I shiver a little, looking down at his hands. He keeps stroking his thumbs against my skin. Hunching slightly, I lean into his touch. He lifts his left hand to stroke the back of his finger against my cheek. I turn my face into his hand, craving the tenderness he’s giving me.

Then I murmur, “No...I’ll come with.”

“You sure?” Matt slides his hand to the nape of my neck, playing with the short hairs, causing my skin to tingle; I breathe in deeply then exhale softly. He adds, “You can just stay in here, mind our shit?”

I shake my head. “I’m sure, master...”

The corners of his mouth twitch in a smile, his dimples not quite showing. “Alright then. But if you get uncomfortable, tell me. And we’ll just leave.” He squeezes the back of my neck, gently. “’Kay?”

I give a small nod. He smiles more as he stands, holding his hand out to me. I grip it tightly; he pretends to wince. Giggling, I lean into his side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, hugging me close. We walk out of the radio studio like that, and somehow I feel that this is just right; nothing bad can happen if we just stick together.

Nothing. Bad. Ever.

But, this isn’t fantasy. Though, it’s nice to hope.

Guess we’ll just have to see.

Part Thirty-Two – “It’s not a request, Val.”

“You didn’t seriously fucking just announce to the whole of the US that you love Valary?”

I don’t know what’s going on right now, but JD is standing in the middle of our living room, practically yelling at Matt. We’ve been back five minutes and he was waiting outside with a face as dark and threatening as storm clouds. I’m kind of hoping Matt will tell him to leave, or kick him out, but that doesn’t happen. Which confuses me, no end. Instead he lets him in and then he proceeds to start berating Matt, his voice getting louder with every passing moment. And with me just getting more and more confused.

Matt doesn’t seem to be having the same problem as me, though. He’s just taking it, head down, fingers dragging over his short hair. Probably struggling internally over whether it was the wisest thing he’s done, or the stupidest.

I sit, staring at the bigger man who is pacing tight figures of eights around us, speaking in a low, angry tone.

“What the hell were you thinking? Do you realise what could happen? Fuck! If they find out, you know what will happen. Do you want that to happen?” This last JD says as he comes directly to a stop in front of Matt. He glares at the top of his head.

It takes me all of a second to realise what he’s talking about, but at the same time I don’t want to believe it. And, at any rate, why would he even be talking about it, unless I was right in my suspicions all along?

Matt slowly lifts his gaze to the other man, a deep furrow in his brow, his eyes darker than I’ve ever seen them. I swallow hard, wondering how he’ll react. He works his jaw for a long minute just glowering darkly at JD.

Then he grits out, “There is no way I am going to let anything happen to Val. I’ll fucking kill anyone who touches her.”

I blink at that. Even JD looks taken aback by Matt’s declaration.

“Murder’s illegal, Matthew.”

Matt clenches a fist then jabs a finger in the air in JD’s direction. “No one is doing anything to Val. The Guild can bite my ass.” That famous temper of his is simmering beneath the surface; obviously he’s confident in his ability to keep me safe, and doesn’t like that JD is insinuating otherwise.

JD sighs shaking his head and finally sinks down on the sofa opposite us. “They might just do that...”

I shiver knowing that he’s absolutely right about that. The Guild is powerful, and they can do anything to the slaves that come out of the system. And if there is any chance at all that they heard what was broadcast earlier today...then the proverbial shit will most definitely hit the proverbial fan.

Matt rolls his eyes, scoffing, “They can try.”

“This is serious, Matt.” JD’s voice is hard. “You don’t want to take this lightly.”

“No shit,” Matt says, quietly. I sense he knows how serious a situation we’re facing. He’s just annoyed that JD’s the one telling him all this. And I can’t blame him. I still don’t get what’s going on with the supposed guitar tech.

“Matt-”

“I get it, alright?” Matt growls at him.

JD holds his hands up in defence. But, he’s succeeded in pissing him off.

Matt works his jaw, before saying in a dangerous tone, “I’m not stupid, Denmore. Give me a little credit here.”

The other man nods, evidently deciding he’s said enough. “Right.”

“Is that all you wanted?” Matt slides an arm around me, nudging me to lean against him. I snuggle down next to him, tucking my head against his shoulder.

JD observes us for a moment, before standing again, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, I’m off to see Brian, now.”

Matt looks pointedly at him, while absently rubbing small circles on my shoulder. “You know where the door is, then.”

JD sighs and walks out. I watch him go then peek up into Matt’s face. His brow is tight, his jaw tense. I reach up and run a finger along the hard line. He tilts his head down, his eyes finding mine. The expression in his eyes is difficult to decipher. They’re murky, filled with myriad emotions.

He exhales roughly. “Val...” He pauses, taking hold of my hand. Then he removes it from his face, placing it gently in my lap. I blink at him in confusion. He shakes his head at me. Then gets up and just walks out of the room.

I sit there, unsure of what to do now. Should I follow him, or leave him alone? I need to figure out the best course of action. One, because I’m supposed to know whether Matt needs something or not, and two because I don’t want to make him mad.

Taking a moment to think, I cast my gaze around the living room; something catches my eye as I do. It’s my journal. On the coffee table. Wonder what it’s doing there. I reach over to grab it, flipping through the pages, skimming the entries. I don’t know why, but it feels like forever since I’ve written in this. My pencil happens to be stuck in the ring-binding, though so I take it out, and sit back, opening to a clean page.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I can’t remember ever being so conflicted. Maybe the last time was when I realised my parents were never coming back for me. I knew I bore no grudge, or ill-will toward them, but I was lonely and confused. I was in an unknown situation, the youngest of many other children who were all a little more knowledgeable of where they were and what was going on.

Huntington Beach orphanage was alright. I had no gripes with the place. They treated me okay, fed me, clothed me. It was just the one person in the institution that I did not trust. And it was that one person who made my life what it became today. I can’t to this day remember who that person was. It was a man, I know that much. And I always had a feeling that he probably was paid by the Guild. But, he never stayed on my radar long enough for me to memorise his name or his face.

I guess it never really mattered. Even though he forced me into the slave industry, he never played a major role in my life. Unlike some of my former masters. And never more so than Giovanni. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have ended up with Matt. And I would never have been reunited with my sister. I guess in some weird, twisted way I was grateful to him. If one could ever be grateful to someone who owned them. Then again, I’m extremely grateful to Matt as well, so that’s not too hard to imagine.

Perhaps, in the long run all this would mean being reunited with the rest of my family. I have no idea if they’re even still in Huntington, or whether they would want anything to do with me. I always thought when I was younger, for better or for worse it would be best if I just forgot about them.

Having Michelle back in my life is like a gift. A gift that I never want to take for granted. And, I know that I won’t. But, meeting my family again, seeing the rest of them? I’m not sure how I would feel about it. I guess time will tell whether that will happen or not. Maybe I should talk to Michelle about that.

I think having Matt as my master was a gift too. Someone up above must have been watching out for me. Or at least had a little bit of a soft spot for me. Part of me wonders what would have happened if Giovanni had never taken me to that gig. Where would I be now? Maybe back at the Guild, waiting to be bought by someone else. Because as it stood, he wanted rid of me, either way.

None of this is even making any sense, is it? It seems like I’m just pulling all this out of nowhere. I should be writing about what happened today, right? About what just happened...between him and JD, and earlier at the station... But, maybe that’s too close to my mind. And, maybe I’m just bored. And worried. And just rambling.

It’s good to write though, considering I feel like I haven’t done it in awhile.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hey?”

I look up from my journal, kicking my feet against the edge of the sofa. Matt is standing in the doorway, hands digging into the pockets of his jeans. I’m not sure how long he’s been standing there, or for that matter how long he’s been gone from the room. He seems tense as he was after JD left, but is hiding it better. Or maybe I’ve lost my touch, and am not reading him as well.

“What’s up, sir?” I put my pencil down, stand up and walk over to him. He looks at me a funny expression on his face. I can’t quite explain it. His eyes are dark; his lips are twitching as if he’s trying not to smile. “Master?”

He exhales sharply. “Stop, Val.”

I blink, a little confused. “Stop what?”

“Calling me that. Just...fuck.” He shakes his head. “Call me ‘Matt’.”

I purse my lips; that’s come out of left field. “But, I’m not supposed to...”

Matt sighs, glowering at me. “It’s not a request Val.”

Well, that’s a twist isn’t it? I guess the Guild can’t come down on him for that, if he makes it a direct order.

Lowering my eyes, I murmur, “If that’s what you want, Matt.”

Matt tilts his head at me then next I know he’s slid his arms around my waist, pulling me in close to his body. I shiver, before wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning into him. I must admit, it feels so good to be held by him.

He whispers into my hair, “It’s not just what I want.”

Funny, he’s right about that. I don’t like being a slave. I’m not sure if that’s ever been evident, but I really resent it. Guess I’m just good at not letting my bitterness show; probably because in the past it wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. I feel though, it’s a lot different with Matt. I almost reckon I could voice my thoughts on my position. Not that I’m that daring.

Matt cups my chin, lifting it up so he can meet my eyes. I stare back at him, not entirely sure what’s happening. The corners of his lips twitch in a soft smile.

“You have a good time?”

For a minute, I have to think about what he means. It feels like forever since we were at the radio station and everything. But it’s only been a few hours. I guess when other things happen to take away the good feelings you have about something it does funny things to your memory.

Gathering my thoughts, I nod slowly. “It was different.”

Matt laughs. “To you maybe. It’s all the same to us. No less enjoyable, but it’s really just what we do. Not as much as some bands, but.”

He rubs a thumb against my cheekbone. I lean into his touch; he smiles more.

“What’d you make of the fans?”

I take a moment to think about his question, before answering. “They were really nice. Pretty dedicated to the band...are they all like that?”

Matt nods a wistful expression appearing in his eyes. “Yeah. Our fans are fucking awesome, I gotta say.”

Smiling, I lean into him more; he tightens his arms around me, rocking me gently. We stay like that for awhile, neither of us speaking, just taking comfort in each other’s presence. It almost feels normal. You know as if we were just like any other couple. Because normal for me, isn’t really normal for everyone else, but I think you know what I’m trying to say.

The phone rings, snapping us out of the quiet spell.

“Crap,” Matt groans, releasing me and stalking over to the phone, which is attached to the wall.

Lifting it off the hook, he answers in a rough tone, “Yeah, what do you want?” After a second, his voice changes, eyebrows lifting in what looks like surprise. “Sorry, you what? That’s great. Yeah, sorry about that...mind’s a million fucking miles away...that’s...yeah, I figured you would. Of course we will.” He pauses then smirks. “I’ll never pass that up. Sure. See ya, Syn.”

I tilt my head as Matt hangs up.

He grins at me. “That was Brian. He says he’s having a party tonight.”

I blink, that’s a surprise, you’d think the guys would just want to relax after a day of interviews and stuff. But, then again come to think of it, they think the best way to wind down is to get drunk and go crazy. Well, at least Jimmy thinks that.

“What for?” I ask, even though part of me thinks there’s probably no real reason.

Matt shrugs in response, but I really want to know, so I just stare at him. He blinks back at me.

“What is it, Val?”

“Why is he having a party?”

The smile fades from his face, his expression darkening. “He proposed to your sister and she said ‘yes’.”

The look in his eyes is disconcerting. Even though I now know a little bit of the history between him and Michelle, it’s still kind of a mystery as to why he still holds the grudge that he does. And, I can’t for the life of me, figure out why it is such a huge issue to him that Brian and Chelle would want to be happy together. Or not. It’s just confusing. I don’t think I even know what I’m meant to think.

I don’t say anything, just nod my head. Matt frowns slightly as he walks back over to me. He pulls me close to him again.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, I really am,” Matt says into my hair after several minutes.

I nod against his chest; he doesn’t have to explain himself to me. Right now, I’m willing to accept anything he says. Must be the submissive in me. That tiny part of me which I know isn’t really who I am... that’s deep, isn’t it?

I peek up at Matt; he catches my eye and smiles softly before pushing me away with a sigh.

“Go get changed.” He rubs his hands over his biceps. “We’ll leave in half an hour.”

I nod, getting up to head to our room. He stops me for a moment though, catching hold of my upper arm. Looking at him, I wonder what he wants. His gaze is serious, yet unreadable.

“Matt?”

His lips twitch and then spread into a soft, dimpled smile. Then he does something that completely scrambles my brain. Sliding his hand to my chin, he tilts my face up and places a soft kiss to my mouth. After which I just blink at him incomprehendingly, jaw going a little slack.

He smiles more, and murmurs, “Love you...”

A flush spreads over my face, and I pull back from him, before hurrying away to our room.

*prays that the guild weren't listening to the radio*

I like that Val has gone back to the journal, I actually thought the other day that she hadn't been writing so much.

Yeh, she hadn't much, eh?


~~~~


Part Thirty-Three – “I really, truly, got lucky.”

Michelle looks absolutely stunning. She’s wearing this white top that accentuates her body shape perfectly and a dark jacket over the top which gives her a sophisticated air. Her hair. I am so jealous of her hair. I can’t believe I just said I’m jealous of someone’s hair, but what the hell. It’s just, beautiful. It’s long and blonde and silky...and everything mine is not. Of course, Matt would beg to differ, but this is my opinion.

On the other hand, Brian looks ridiculous. He’s wearing a multi-coloured, knitted poncho. Talk about tacky. But, then again, it kind of suits him. Not that I’m saying he’s tacky... He’s just in a goofy mood, running around and hugging everyone and going crazy. He’s even tried to plant a sloppy kiss on Matt’s mouth. He’s acting more like Jimmy than Jimmy is.

Speaking of, the drummer is surprisingly subdued. He’s sitting over in the corner of the dining room, smoking a cigar, I think. Leana is over with my twin checking the food. She keeps looking over at Jimmy, though who is just staring into space like he’s trying to figure out the answers to the big questions.

Matt is across the other side of the room, drinking a beer and talking to Brian. Johnny is with them, just nodding his head at either one of them, whoever is talking. The Berry brothers are here as well, somewhere. I haven’t seen Matt Berry, but Jason is sitting with Zacky at the dining table picking at some raw vegetables and dip. I’m sitting near to them, not really listening, just observing them all. Because, that’s something I’m good at.

Little bits of conversation drift toward me, but I just filter them out, as my gaze finally settles back on Matt. He’s talking in a low voice to Brian, a strange look in his eyes. I can’t quite catch what he’s saying, but I become even more curious as Michelle goes over to him and interrupts their conversation. The look on Matt’s face gets even darker, if that’s at all possible and he literally glares daggers at my sister.

Michelle glares back at him, snapping, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Don’t you look at me like that, Matthew. I didn’t invite them, they’re my parents. They just decided to come. And they’ll be here soon.”

I sit up, eyes widening slightly. Her parents? My parents...

“They’re her parents’ too, Michelle. What the fuck were you thinking,” Matt growls in response, anger obvious in his voice; he’s right on the edge. He’s definitely not happy with my sister. “She’s not ready for this, Michelle. You should’ve told her.”

“Told her what, Matt? Something I didn’t even know until this morning? That’s rich. I can’t tell her shit I don’t know. I’m not some kind of psychic.”

Matt leans into my twin’s face and practically spits at her, “You could’ve called us after you found out, Michelle. You have that freaking phone glued to your ear half the time.”

“I do not!”

“And anyway, what about them, Michelle?” Matt goes on, ignoring my sister’s outburst. “What the Hell are they going to say when they see Val? And don’t even start about what kind of questions they’re going to ask. Because I sure as Hell am not going to lie to them about how I met your sister.”

Michelle scowls. “Do you really think they need to hear about that?”

“Yeah, I think they do. They have the right to know.”

“I don’t think Val would appreciate you telling them that she’s a slave, do you?”

“I don’t think she’s ready to meet them right now, Michelle, let alone me telling them that.” Matt crosses his arms over his chest, glowering at her.

I bite my lip, watching them. They’re standing toe-to-toe arguing over this, while I have no idea how to feel. It seems a bit weird, considering I was just thinking about if I’d ever get to see my parents earlier today. Maybe I’m the psychic one. That’s actually kind of funny.

“Well, I can’t tell them they can’t come over, Matt. This is my engagement party, and they want to show their support.” Michelle’s voice is getting louder.

Matt’s is getting softer, but there’s a definite edge to the tone. “Well, I won’t be held responsible for anything that happens.”

“No one is expecting you to.” My twin sighs. “Look, I’ll explain everything to them, okay? It’s the least I can do.”

“You’d better. Otherwise, I will.” He stalks away from her, grabbing a beer on his way out of the room.

I watch him go then look at my sister. She’s also staring after him an irritated look on her face. Brian is by her side a hand on the back of her neck, rubbing slowly. She leans back into him and sighs loudly. Johnny, who is still standing there, looks a little shocked by the outburst and is just shaking his head slowly.

“Hey, Val...”

I turn my head to see that Jimmy has shifted his chair next to mine. Blinking, I avert my gaze to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself.

He speaks right next to my ear, but I manage not to jump in response.

“Maybe you should go after him?” Jimmy phrases it as a question as if he’s not so sure of the merit of his suggestion. I peek up at him, shaking my head. He tilts his, eyebrows wiggling in a ‘why not’ sort of gesture.

Lowering my eyes again, I murmur, “Not a good idea.”

“Why not, Val? You seem to be the only person who can get him to calm down.”

I blink at his statement, looking up into his anxious stare. “You really think so?”

Jimmy’s lips curve in a soft smile. “Yeah. I have to say you coming into his life...you’re a fucking godsend. Not sure what god sent you, but you’re a godsend.”

My face burns at that and I duck my head down.

“For serious,” Jimmy insists. “You make him a better person. Not that he was an ass or anything before you came along, but...” He shrugs, smiling more at me, which I only just catch from the corner of my eye.

I sigh, shaking my head. I still don’t think it’s a good idea to go after him. I don’t want him to get mad at me. I don’t say this, though. I just sit with my head down, chewing nervously on the inside of my cheek. Jimmy reaches over to squeeze my shoulder. He says nothing else just sits back and lights up another smoke.

Matt reappears moments later, looking a little more composed, but still tense. I can tell by the tightness around his eyes. He searches the room, his gaze falling on me. He lifts his right hand and crooks his finger at me – come here. I swallow hard, before obeying the summons. He’s obviously still upset about the whole thing about Michelle’s parent...my parents.

Shit. They’re going to be here. Anytime soon. And I haven’t seen them since I was four...five. Matt’s right. I really am not ready for this. Then again, if I’m not ready now, will I ever be? Perhaps it’s better this way. A big shock, yes. But then we can get past it, right?

Who knows?

I look up at Matt as I get closer. He’s frowning now, but he’s focussing inward, not really seeing me.

“Matt?” It still feels a little strange, calling him by name that is. I’ve been so used to calling him ‘master’ that it almost feels awkward saying anything else. But, it seems to do something, because he snaps out of his mental cloud, gaze fixing on mine.

“Val,” he murmurs as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close. I blink at this obvious sign of affection, wondering vaguely what everyone else thinks of this. Incidentally, the others have moved away, gathering around the dining table, picking at the food. Leaving Matt and I basically to ourselves.

Leaning into his body, I let my breath out slowly, only just realising that I was holding it.

He runs his palm up and down my spine in a slow sweeping motion before murmuring low, “You know I’m gonna be here for you.”

I nod against his chest.

He tilts my chin up, his expression grave as he adds, “If you want to leave, just let me know, ‘kay?”

I feel like one of those bobble toys, still moving my head up and down in response. Having no words, I feel this is the only way I can let him know I’m listening. Matt sighs brushing his fingers against my cheek, before stepping away and walking back toward the table.

Watching him go, I wonder what’s going through his mind. Aside from any and all promises he’s just made to me, I know there are other thoughts that are worrying him. To do with my sister, to do with his friends. But, as ever, he’s a closed book to me.

Turning away, I find my gaze locking with Jimmy’s again. His bright blue stare flashes at me, and he grins around a mouthful of smoke. I blush a little, and lower my eyes. The effect he has on me is kind of surprising. He makes me feel special. Like I matter. Not that Matt doesn’t do that. It’s just, since he’s my master it makes sense on one level that he will ease my fears and what not, through trying to keep me comfortable, or feeling good about myself. I mean that in a general sense, because even my previous masters did that to some extent. Though most of them were just assholes to me.

With Jimmy it’s different. Heck with all the guys, Matt’s friends, it’s different. They treat me just like I’m one of the other girls. As if I’m just Matt’s girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love that fact about them. It’s odd, but it makes me feel warm on the inside. But, I can’t lose sight of what I really am, so it always makes me a little nervous as well.

But a part of me takes note, and it gives me some hope that they’ll be there for me, whatever happens. Not just Matt who’s explicitly promised, but them as well. I guess I count them my friends. And I can tell you the number of people I give that honour too. Can count them on two hands.

Jimmy keeps smiling at me; I feel colour creeping up into my face, so look away again.

There’s only so much of him I can handle. Then again, there’s only so much of anyone I can handle. Even Matt becomes too much for me sometimes, but with him I don’t have any choice but to put up with it. Of course, as luck would have it, he seems to know and gives me space. None of my other masters ever did that for me. Ever cared enough to give me that.

And now, in this new situation, this…waiting to see whether my parents show phase, I’m grateful for him, for his friends… and just the fact that I got lucky. I really, truly, got lucky.

You know something really dumb? I just realised I haven't actually updated the last 3 chapters...-_-'

Also chapter 33 is above this post so don't forget to read that

Hang on brb

~~~~~~



Part Thirty-Four - "Matt..."

“Well done. You succeeded in destroying the afternoon with your fucking stupidity, Michelle. Val won’t talk to me now.”

Matt was livid.

The Dibenedettos had come and gone in a whirlwind of shock and chaos. To say that confusion had dominated their short-lived visit was a massive understatement. They barely got done congratulating Brian and Michelle for their engagement when Mrs Dibenedetto had laid eyes on Valary. Her shocked exclamation at the presence of the younger of the twins left little to the imagination.

What the Hell is she doing here? I didn’t think I’d see her again…

Her mother hadn’t even deigned to call her by name. Mr Dibenedetto had been no less accommodating in his reaction toward his youngest daughter. The elder siblings had no real idea how to respond so had completely ignored the fact that she was even there, conversing solely with Michelle.

Val was left feeling awful, heartbroken, and shut herself into the guest bedroom, locking the door so Matt couldn’t get in. In turn, he had threatened and cajoled her to open the door, but she was refusing to budge. And now he was back in the dining room, speaking angrily with her sister.

“What the fuck were you thinking, Michelle? Tell me, if you can.”

Michelle sighed, watching the big man, a wary look on her face. “I didn’t think Mom would react that way, you have to believe me, Matt.” She shook her head, pain ghosting across her features. “I really thought it’d go okay…”

Matt snorted, his tone scathing, “Yeah, well you got that wrong.” He crossed his arms, and glared at her. “They acted like they didn’t want anything to do with her.”

“I know.” Michelle ran a hand through her hair, a nervous gesture. “And I feel like crap. I didn’t think they had any bad feelings toward Val…I mean…I always thought they…well that it was ‘cause we weren’t well off that they left Val at the institution the way they did.” She lifted her gaze to meet Matt’s furious one. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

He groaned, smoothing a palm over his shorn scalp, but said nothing more, just turned away to look at the others. Brian, surprisingly, was quiet and not interrupting their discussion. He was obviously just as stunned and upset about the way his fiancée’s parents had acted toward Val. The sour expression on his face told that story clearly.

Jimmy was more sombre than he’d ever been. He was seated at the dining table, smoking still, and frowning at the food spread before him as if it could explain to him what had just happened. Johnny, Zacky and the Berrys were talking softly amongst themselves, not willing to allow their voices to rise above a murmur.

Matt blinked slightly, noticing for the first time that JD was there as well. He was slumped in a chair, next to Johnny. He was subdued, though, his big body held still, his mouth sealed tight.

Matt knew he shouldn’t have been surprised to see the tech there. Brian had become quite close to him in the time they’d spent in the studio. But, at the same time, Matt was leery of his presence. Especially after what had happened with the big man’s friend. Still, it wasn’t as if Robert was there, and Matt was beginning to warm to JD, anyway. He hadn’t done anything to cause him any real alarm. Most importantly, though, he hadn’t done anything to make Val uncomfortable. Then again, her parents had done enough of that to last a life time.

Matt grimaced, swinging his gaze toward the dining room door. He needed to go try getting her to leave the guest bedroom. It pained him to see her so devastated. He could see the hurt in her eyes when her parents had distanced themselves from her, right there, in front of her. It was as if they hadn’t wanted to deal with the reality of her existence. That really pissed off Matt. He couldn’t understand their attitude toward Val. In his eyes, there was no need for it. She hadn’t done any wrong.

“Matt?” Michelle spoke up again, drawing his attention back to her.

He lifted an eyebrow at her, but didn’t answer. He didn’t trust himself to be civil if he did.

She cleared her throat several times before she said, “I’m sorry.”

He frowned. “I’m not the one you need to apologise to.”

Michelle sighed, looking down and nodding slowly in agreement.

Grabbing a couple of crackers, chewing on them, Matt then went for the door, not speaking to anyone else as he made his way across the room. As he reached the door though, he caught JD glancing his way, a dark look crossing the other man’s face. Matt wondered at his expression, but then shook his head to himself, figuring it wasn’t worth worrying about. He had Val to think of; if JD was having issues then it wasn’t his problem.

* * * * *

Pausing at the threshold of the guest bedroom, Matt gathered his thoughts, still unsure of how he was going to coax Val out. The door was firmly locked and Matt knew the first thing he had to do was convince her to let him in. No easy task, considering she hadn’t responded to him earlier. He pressed his left ear against the door to hear whether she was moving around or anything. There was no obvious sound coming from inside the room, though.

Matt rubbed at his face, before knocking softly. “Val?”

For a pause there was no response, and then the sound of shuffled footsteps reached his ears. They halted just in front of the door. A moment later, he heard the soft click of the lock then creaking as the door slowly opened. He cocked his head to the side as Val appeared in his view.

“Hey?” he said in a gentle tone.

Val blinked at him. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, tear tracks still evident on her face. It looked to Matt as if she’d been pulling at her top because it was skewwhiff, one shoulder pulled down.

She just stood there, looking at him.

He stepped toward her, gauging her reaction since he didn’t want to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she probably already was. Val made no move, though. Just followed his movement with tired eyes.

Matt, not knowing what else to do, opened his arms to her. She looked at him, blinking still then she shuffled into his embrace, leaning her weight into his solid body. He wrapped his arms around her, one about her waist the other up and around her back. She clung to him, hands gripping the soft cotton of his shirt.

He said nothing to her, just eased both of them into the guest room and over to the bed. Val shifted in his arms so as he fell back on the bed she ended on her side, next to him. Matt rolled onto his side managing to keep one arm around her, while he propped his head up with the other one. They just stared at each other for several long minutes, not moving, or saying anything.

As silence settled over them like a comforting blanket, Val moved closer, cuddling into Matt’s big body. He ran his fingers through her hair, lifting strands up, and rubbing them between his thumb and fingers.

Finally, as they lay there, Val found her voice; it was scratchy though, as she murmured into Matt’s chest, “They hate me…”

Matt grimaced, tracing his fingers lightly over her cheek. “I don’t know about that, Val.”

“They do…did you see the way they looked at me?” Val met his gaze, more unshed tears shimmering in her eyes.

He had and couldn’t argue with her assumption. Her parents hadn’t looked upon her favourably. Yet, a part of him wanted to believe it wasn’t because they felt any animosity toward her. However, Matt wasn’t going to defend their behaviour. He just thanked whatever powers-that-were that he hadn’t mentioned anything about Val being his slave. That would not have gone down well. Sure, Matt was all for being honest, but they hadn’t even bothered to ask how she’d come to be in his company, so there was no need for him to elaborate on something they obviously cared little about.

Matt sighed. “Yeah…I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He rolled his eyes. “Your sister…” He didn’t bother finishing the sentence, just hugged her close.

Val leaned into him, and said quietly, “She means well.”

Matt snorted, not responding to that statement. Instead, he occupied himself by running his left hand along her arm, palm pressed lightly against her skin. Val tilted her head a little brow creasing into a tiny frown.

“What’re you doing?”

He paused, meeting her eyes as a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You feel so soft…” His voice was husky. And as he observed her reaction to his comment, he felt his cock harden in his pants.

Matt allowed a low growl to escape as he continued to stroke her arm.

Val shivered, lips parting as her eyes widened at the sound. It had been almost two weeks since Matt had even attempted to touch her in any way other than in comfort. But the contact now definitely had sexual undertones. They could both feel the tension increase.

She swallowed hard, grabbing hold of his hand.

“Master…”

“Matt,” he gently corrected, as he kept moving his palm up and down her arm.

Val chewed at the inside of her cheek, before she said, “Matt, please…”

“Please?”

“I…I don’t want…” her voice quavered on the words. Matt stopped his motion, just leaving his hand on her arm. She pressed close and he sighed, wrapping his arms about her smaller body.

He whispered into her hair, “I’m sorry.”

Even though he was now as hard as a steel rod, he wouldn’t pressure Val into doing something she didn’t want. And in all honesty, it probably wasn’t really a good idea to get into anything when they were both still upset. Better that he waited. Still, it was hard to ignore his needs.

Groaning, he withdrew his arms from around Val, sitting up. “I’ll be right back…”

She lifted her head, squinting at him as he swung his feet down to the floor and stood up. Matt smeared his hands over his face before walking to the en suite, closing the door behind him, to shut out the view of Val lying on the bed.

Matt stood for a moment in the middle of the bathroom absently studying the white tile that lined the walls. Then he walked over to the tub, unbuckling his belt and pulling himself free from the confines of his pants. As he braced his right foot against the edge of the bath, Matt took himself in hand, grunting softly.

He was burning, so intense was his need. His skin was hot to the touch. Closing his eyes, and gritting his teeth, he began moving his hand in long hard strokes.

It didn’t take long for him to reach release. He was so on edge that it could only have been a matter of minutes. Breathing out roughly, he wiped himself with the face cloth that was hanging on the tap, and then tossed it in the clothes basket.

Putting himself away, he then turned to lean against the vanity, and frowned at his reflection in the mirror. Brow furrowed, eyes heavy-lidded and dark, he knew he didn’t look particularly happy. He quickly wiped the expression away though. He’d been wearing that look far too much, in his opinion, and he was sick of being grumpy. Of course, it wasn’t his fault, but by the same taken it was a choice he could make. To remain in a black mood, or to lighten up, was ultimately in his power.

Matt glanced toward the closed door, picturing Val on the other side. She needed him to be there for her and he knew the best way to do that was probably not while he was in a bad mood. From previous experiences that had scared her and he had vowed to himself he wouldn’t be like that toward her. He did not plan on breaking that unspoken promise, either.

Squeezing the edge of the vanity, Matt could feel the hard surface dig into his palms. He closed his eyes for a moment thoughts turning over in his head. Though there were many only one of them took up most of the space in his head. Matt clenched his jaw overwhelmed by the truth that filled his mind. None of what had happened truly mattered, because it paled in comparison to what he felt. He loved Val. And no matter how trite or cliché that sounded his feelings for her were all that were of any real consequence.

With a sigh, he forced his body away from the sink and made for the door. It was time to make good on his promises. And he would start by going to Val and just being there for her. Nothing and no one would prevent him from doing that. Not now, not ever. He smiled at that thought, as he walked back into the bedroom.

Val looked up as he approached the bed. Myriad emotions passed across her face; he could read the question in her eyes. Climbing back on the bed, mattress protesting beneath his weight, Matt settled next to her and reached over to stroke her cheek.

“I’m okay, Val…” an answer to her unasked question.

She nodded as she snuggled into his side again.

Matt smiled more, nuzzling into her hair as he held her close. And, they stayed like that, together, letting stillness settle over them once more.

~~~~~
I will post parts 35-37 in the next couple of days.

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What a welcome back.

Val's parent's reaction was shitty, but I guess kinda expected. It's so sweet watching Matt's feelings grow *feels kinda warm and fuzzy*

Yay Thanks for the big yippee

Alright, here's the next chapter

Part Thirty-Five - "I'd rather stay here..."

I wish Matt had pushed me a just a little harder earlier. I know that’s a crazy thing to say, but because my emotions were all over the place, I needed some sort of stronghold to clutch onto. I know some would say that sex isn’t the answer, but having been in my position for so long, it’s something I’m familiar with. Much more familiar than say my family. Meeting them was not what I expected. Neither did it end up the way I wanted it to.

I thought it would be easy, that they would accept me. But, it obviously wasn’t to be. I don’t really know how much it hurt me to go through all that. All I know is that I don’t want to have a repeat of what happened. It killed me to be so out and out rejected by my parents. I don’t understand how they could be that way. I know they must have had a reason for why they did what they did, but I was always of the mind that they had done so out of necessity and not for any other reason.

The day they left me at the orphanage is still as vivid as if it were yesterday. It had been an unusually chilly October evening; Mom handed me over to the wards, bundled in a bright pink jacket and she had promised that if the situation got better, she’d come back for me. She had promised…

* * * * *

“Val…Val?”

I blink, realising that tears are dripping from my eyes onto the page of my journal. Matt’s hand is resting gently on my shoulder. I peek up at him. His anxious gaze is fixed on the words I’ve just been writing.

“You want to talk about it?” It’s actually a question. There’s no demand in his voice at all. I look down at the pages of my journal and blink slowly, wondering whether that’s what I really want to do.

He doesn’t press, just sits by me, his hand moving in circles over my back. I lean into his touch, breathing slowly. I’m not sure how long we’ve been sitting here for. We’re at home, by the way. It took a while, but I guess I calmed down enough for Matt to bring me home. We didn’t speak to anyone, I couldn’t look at Michelle… still too hurt, I guess. Me that is. I’m not sure how she feels about all this.

By no means do I blame her for what happened. It’s not like she knew how our parents would react to me being there. But, she knew they were going to be there, and part of me feels almost as if she was being disloyal to me in some form. I know she didn’t do it to cause me any problems, but it turned out that way and it hurts. It really hurts.

I close my eyes, relaxing as Matt continues to rub my back. His presence is comforting. Enough so that I feel calm, safe. Peeking at him with one eye, I gauge his mood. His face is smooth, quiet, his eyes the only part of him that reveals any of his emotions. He’s still anxious, and seems to be waiting for something. Me, I guess.

I lick my lips a little, before saying, “Mom promised to come back for me…”

Dropping my chin against my chest, my breath hitches in the back of my throat. The heartache that comes over me scares me a bit. I can still hear my mom’s voice in my head, echoing through the years. Can still hear what she said to me. The knowledge that perhaps she hadn’t really meant it hurts more than I want it to.

Matt sighs, wrapping his arms around me, and pulling me into him. I turn to snuggle into his chest, pressing my face against his shirt. He rocks me gently, nuzzling into my hair. We stay like that for a while, quiet, still. He murmurs sweet nothings into my ear; I relax at his words, smiling a little as he tells me how much he loves me and that he’ll always be here for me. The last I hang onto because it’s exactly what I need to hear. Having a constant in my life is something I’ve been missing, and it’s been a huge surprise, finding it in my master.

Squeezing me gently, Matt sits back just as his cell phone buzzes from the night stand. He grabs it off the stand, holding it up to his ear after pressing the answer button.

“’Lo? Oh, hey…sure, I can come round…just give me a few.”

I tilt my head at him. “Who’s that?”

Matt glances at me, mouthing, “Brian.” He nods and speaks into his phone. “Yep…okay. See you soon.”

Hanging up, he looks at me a tiny frown marring his features. His lips twitch a little as if he doesn’t really want to say what he is about to.

“I have to go back over to Syn’s. Something’s come up.”

I blink a little then nod, looking down to hide my disappointment. I was kind of looking forward to just settling down to spend time with him. Relaxing, and not having to think about anything. But, I guess whatever it is Brian wants is more important than anything I want or would like. Not that I’m going to complain. Can’t forget who wears the pants in this relationship. Hah.

Matt sighs, running his fingers through my hair. “You can come…or stay…whatever…”

I shake my head and murmur, “I’d rather stay here, if that’s okay with you?”

He smiles a little and brushes his thumb against my cheek as he replies, “Of course. I probably won’t be too long, anyway.”

I nod slightly. Matt squeezes my shoulder before getting up off the bed. He wanders over to the dresser to grab his keys then with a smile toward me, he leaves the room. I sit there and listen as he heads out, the familiar growl of his bike echoing through the house as he takes off.

Sighing, I flop back on the mattress and close my eyes for a few minutes. But, I can’t relax, so rolling over, and sliding off the bed, I get up and head out to find something to do with my time.

* * * * *

It’s been a few hours since Matt left and Bella is following me around the house as I do a little bit of dusting. Matt let her in, to keep me company he said. I’m sort of grateful for that, because it can get lonely here. Especially when it’s as quiet as it is now. I mean the building creaks and groans sometimes and I find that somewhat comforting. But, it’s weirdly silent right now. Apart from the ‘swish’ of the feather duster on the wall, which I’m just trailing along, not really doing anything with it, the house seems almost dead. Like the calm before a big storm.

That’s actually kind of a creepy thought.

I pause at one of the large windows that look out into the garden. Bella stands right next to me, her wet nose leaving condensation on the glass, as she breathes and pants in contentment. But then as I begin to move away, I notice her hackles go up slightly, and she gives a low rumbling growl in the back of her throat.

“What is it, Bella?”

I crouch down next to her, and run my fingers along the scruff of fur at the back of her neck. She responds with a soft whine, and lifts a paw to scratch at the window frame. Then she barks loudly. That scares me. She hardly ever barks. Matt reckons she’s the best guard dog ever, because she only ever makes a warning sound if there’s actually something worth barking at.

Right now that causes me to worry. I’m basically alone here, and I’m not really well-versed in self-defence. I can only hope that it’s just someone who’s accidentally come into the yard, or even just some random who Bella’s detected from a long distance.

Taking a deep breath, I force myself away from the window and head for the living room. Just as I set foot inside the room, I hear the chime of the doorbell. That sets Bella off, and my nerves just about feel ready to fray and collapse.

Grabbing the doorframe, I ponder the merit of ignoring it. But, the chiming is insistent as if someone has their finger jammed against the buzzer. I glance down at Bella; she’s crouching now, that deep rumble still going. She’s not happy. I swallow hard, gripping the duster tightly, the plastic moulding to my palm, which is becoming moist with sweat. I can’t stay here, though. I was brought up to be polite; I at least have to go look and see who is at the door.

Reaching down, I shake Bella by the scruff of her neck, more to calm myself than anything else. Then I head for the front door, barely shuffling along the corridor. The yellow lab stays right by my side, fur bristling, body tense.

When I get to the door, I peer through the peephole. Blinking, I recognise the person on the other side. It’s Robert…and he seems to be alone. He must catch me peeking, because he flashes a grin at me. I don’t know why, but his smile makes me even more wary than I was a second ago. But, that small part of me that has stuck with me ever since I was little wins out, as it usually does. Of course, I am really not sure what he’s doing here, outside Matt’s house, without Matt being around. And Matt has said for me not to answer the door…but, I just can’t help but feel that he wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t important.

And so, I go for the deadlock, twist it and swing the door open…

* * * * *

It’s dark. That’s the first thing I notice. Yes, I know, that’s an extremely cliché statement to make in this kind of situation, but screw that, it is dark. I shift in my spot to find I can’t move far; there’s something blocking my way. For a moment I wonder what it is, but then an insistent ache behind my eyes and the parched feeling in my throat draws my attention from that back to my body.

I wriggle about realising that my hands are tied behind my back. Moving too much pulls at my muscles. I go still for a moment, breathing out roughly. My mind is too fuzzy with whatever I was knocked out with to remember how I even got wherever the Hell I am. I take several deep breaths and swallow hard to try and get the saliva working, but all I manage to do is gag a little, and start coughing.

There’s a sudden banging and a voice, “Shut up in there!”

Robert…shit. That’s not good. Not that it’s good at all, anyway…but…whatever’s going on must have to do with the Guild. Oh, God…what if they found out about what Matt said on the radio… My breath hitches at that thought, and finally a spark of clarity hits me. Everything just comes back to me in a rush and a sob escapes me.

Robert grabbed me, that’s what happened…and there was someone else…stuck me with a needle…some kind of tranquiliser. And then everything went black. I definitely don’t remember what went on between then and now.

Rolling over a little, I figure out the thing blocking my way is a partition in a vehicle. The engine noise is obvious now as my mind clears. I twist around and press my ear against the barrier trying to hear what’s on the other side. There are voices speaking in a low rumble. I can’t understand what’s being said but I do recognise Robert’s stern tones.

I close my eyes tight as a shudder runs through my body.

This can’t be happening…after everything else…

Tears threaten as I lay there; a feeling of dread washing over me as I start wondering what’s going to happen. If it is the Guild all manner of things could happen, and if they’ve found out about how Matt feels about me, or worse how I feel about Matt…there’s only one thing that could possibly happen. And that’s just shitty all round.

Sniffing softly, I mentally kick myself. I should’ve gone with Matt to Brian’s…of all the times to turn him down and ask to be left at home… The tears fall then, wetting the carpeted floor beneath me, and I curl up as much as my bound wrists will allow without hurting too much.

I know I can’t blame myself for this…how was I to know this would happen? But a part of me wishes I was with Matt. Squeezing my eyes shut I try to feel his presence, imagining that he’s there with his arms around me, holding me, protecting me, telling me he loves me. My heart breaks at that last thought. The way things are going, and knowing the Guild, if it is a Guild thing…I may never get to hear that again.

My eyes snap open, and I force my mind to quit that line of thinking. Instead I start hoping that maybe someone saw what was going on, or maybe heard Bella barking. I mean, that dog has some lungs on her…when she really gets worked up she can drown out anything else with her bark. Yes, that’s some hope…someone had to have heard her… I vaguely remember her still barking as I was dragged away from the house…

Then again, Matt lives on a large block and sound doesn’t carry too far unless there’s a breeze blowing in the right direction.

Ugh, way to put a dampener on my hopes. I need to try and think positively, no matter what happens. Think of the best case scenario and hope for the best.

That’s all I can do now. That and pray that Matt will come looking for me.

Oh my god, please, Matt, get done with whatever stupid thing Brian wanted you for and get your ass home. he's gotta find her, Robert is evil!

*kicks Brian* lol

Here's the next chapter

Part Thirty-Six - "Help me get her back."

“Where’re you going?”

Michelle paused at the front door and looked back as Matt appeared in the kitchen doorway. He and Brian had been sitting in there discussing some lyrics while she was rushing around cleaning. She’d had enough though and decided she needed to get out of the house.

She frowned slightly. “I’m going out, why?”

“No reason.” Matt rubbed at the side of his head, before he said, “Could you do me a favour?”

Michelle’s brows drew together. “Depends.”

“It’s not a big deal…”

“What is it?”

“Check up on Val for me?” Matt kept rubbing at his head.

Michelle noted the anxious expression in the big man’s eyes. It wasn’t obvious, but she’d known him long enough to be able to read his face. It surprised her a little that he would ask her, considering their past. Still he was probably thinking more of Val than what he thought of her. He definitely cared more about her twin than he had ever done anyone else.

She nodded. “Sure, I can do that. Was thinking I’d maybe drop in to see her anyway, since you’re here.”

“Thanks.” The worried look subsided from Matt’s features. “I just don’t like that she’s there by herself.”

Michelle snorted, unable to help herself, “Why didn’t you make her come then?”

“Because I’m not an asshole, Michelle,” he snapped before he turned and stalked back into the kitchen. She followed him and stopped as he leaned against the kitchen bench, glaring at her.

Michelle sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, Matt.”

He folded his arms, his brow furrowed. “I know,” he conceded in a low tone. “I’m just worried about her. After what happened this morning, with your parents, and everything.”

Brian, who was seated at the kitchen table, looked over and added, as he had heard the conversation through the doorway, “If you’re going over there, you should apologise to her, Chelle.”

Michelle gave her fiancée a look. “I know, Bri.” She turned to grab her purse where it was lying next to the coffee pot. She went through it, looking for her keys. “Is there anything else you wanted me to check while I’m there, Matt?” She didn’t look at him while she asked; knowing if she did it would throw her off.

Matt shrugged, “Val’s pretty good with Bella and shit, so no…just make sure your sister’s okay.”

Michelle nodded. “Okay, well, I’ll be back soon.”

Brian got up and walked over to her; she leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Take as long as you need,” he murmured into her hair. She nodded, squeezing his bicep. Then she moved away from him, giving Matt a nod before heading out.

* * * * *

Matt yawned, his jaw cracking a little as he settled back against his chair. Brian looked up at him from the notebook that was opened in front of him.

“Time to call it a night?” he asked, his own voice hoarse.

Matt stretched his arms above his head then crossed them on the table, resting his chin against them. He nodded, his eyelids drooping a little.

“What time is it?”

“Just past nine,” Brian mumbled as he shut the book and rocked back on his chair.

Matt closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, and then said, “Wonder what’s keeping Chelle?”

His friend lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant gesture. He wasn’t worried about the fact that his girlfriend hadn’t returned. Even though she had told them she wouldn’t be all that long. He trusted Michelle to do whatever she needed to then come back when she was ready. Then again it wasn’t as if he owned her.

“They probably got to chatting about whatever girls chat about.”

Matt frowned at Brian’s statement. “Val doesn’t really know all that shit, though. She’s a slave, remember?”

“Of course, but who better to learn that stuff from, than Chelle?”

“True,” Matt said with a quiet smirk. “She’s the ultimate chick, right?”

“Exactly, she’s the best there is.” Brian had a proud smile on his face. It was obvious he was pleased he’d managed to snag quite a catch.

Matt shook his head at his friend, amused by his comments. He sat up and stretched his arms above his head again, his jaw cracking as he yawned.

“Well, good thing you met her, then.”

Brian cocked an eyebrow at the bigger man. “You think?”

Matt sighed; he recognised the disbelief in his friend’s voice. They both knew how he’d been about the two of them getting together years back. Their friendship was tested to the limits, and they hadn’t talked to each other for a bit. That had relaxed after Matt figured Brian wasn’t going to change his feelings just because it annoyed him.

“Yes,” he finally answered. “I do. Forget what I feel here, Bri.”

“True, I don’t give a shit what you feel about her, anyway.”

“You’re such a good friend,” Matt sneered.

“Always, Shads. Always.”

“Fuck you,” Matt was laughing though, he couldn’t be mad at his friend. Brian rolled his eyes, then frowned, glancing toward the door. “What, Syn?”

“Chelle’s back…” The sound of footsteps had obviously signalled the guitarist and Matt wondered why he hadn’t heard them. Before he could question him though, Brian went on, “But, there’s someone with her.”

Matt leaned back on his chair to see if he could confirm his friend’s statement for himself. The front door opened with a creak and the sound of two sets of shoes echoed on the tiled entrance. Hushed voices filtered toward the kitchen, though he couldn’t discern what was being said. His brow furrowed and then his expression darkened as Michelle entered the room with a person Matt had not expected to see.

“Denmore,” he growled in a questioning tone, as his eyes narrowed at the big man.

JD removed his cap, tossing it on the kitchen table as he parked his ass on the chair opposite the singer. “Sanders. I have some bad news.”

Matt cocked his head to the left. “Bad news?”

“Yeah, Michelle went over to your place and called me straight after.”

“Why the fuck would she be calling you?” Matt asked in a hard voice.

Brian added, sharply, “And how is that bad news?”

JD glanced at the guitarist and said, “That’s not the bad news. What she told me wasn’t too good, though.”

Michelle had gone over to the pantry and was going through the shelves trying not to get drawn into the conversation, but Matt turned toward her and asked, “What’s going on, Michelle?”

She looked over at him and shook her head. “Better he tell you.”

Matt turned his gaze back to the guitar tech. “Talk.” A sense of foreboding had snuck into his mind, but he didn’t want to succumb to it, hoping that whatever he was thinking was not actually the case. If something had happened to Valary…

“Val’s gone,” JD said, his tone was dark. The colour drained from Matthew’s face and his pupils dilated as he tried to get his head around what he’d heard. Though a tiny part of him had thought it were a possibility, he still wasn’t prepared to have that notion confirmed. The guitar tech continued before he could speak. “They left a note.” JD shifted his weight, pulling the item from his pocket and pushing it over the table toward Matt.

Matt just stared uncomprehendingly at him, jaw fallen slack. The only sign that he had taken anything in was the fact that his left hand was balled into a fist so tight that his knuckles were white.

“Shads?” Brian, leaning over, brought his hand in front of his friend’s face and waved it up and down. Matt blinked several times before glowering down at the note. He scanned it several times, taking his time to read the words.

“Who the fuck left this?” Matt bit out, his jaw clenched hard.

JD kneaded at the back of his neck, a nervous gesture. “The Guild…”

Matt’s gaze shot to the other male. “Who, though?”

“Read the signature, Matt.”

Matt did so, and his expression changed even more as his lips drew together in a thin line. “Robert…” his tone was dangerous on the name. JD nodded. Matt relaxed the fist he’d made and slammed the palm of his hand against the table; the wood protested at the rough treatment. “Fuck. I’ll kill him.” He glanced at Brian and Michelle then glared at JD. “I’ll really kill him.”

“Matt, you’re forgetting something.”

Matt growled, “I forget nothing.” He clenched his hand again, banging it against the table top, before he stabbed his finger toward the other man. “Robert’s an asshole, he admitted it himself. I’ll fucking kill him for this.”

JD shook his head. “There’s more to this than you realise, Matt. You just have to trust me on that.”

“Hah, trust you?” Matt rolled his eyes as he rocked back on his chair, giving a disdainful snort. “I don’t fucking think so.”

“Jesus, Sanders, I told you what Robert and I were doing.”

“You didn’t tell me shit, Denmore. Just a lot of crap that I don’t know if I can trust.” Matt rose out of his seat and leaned across the table, his hands planted firmly against the surface. The wood protested beneath his weight as he pressed his palms into it, as he fought not to reach over the table and lash out at the other man. He continued his voice filled with contempt, “You said he worked for The Guild. And he made me hurt Val.”

“It’s a front, Matt,” JD groaned. “We’re on your side. How many times do I need to tell you that?”

Matt’s lip curled as he responded harshly, “You’ll have to keep reminding me, considering I don’t trust you enough.” There was a moment of silence after his statement where JD looked away from the singer only to meet the sharp gaze of the guitarist and then Michelle’s worried face.

“You could try convincing him, y’know,” Brian commented. JD lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant gesture.

Then said, “If he doesn’t want to believe me…”

Matt grunted shaking his head hard. “It’s not that I don’t want to, JD…I just…” He sank back down into his chair and closed his eyes before he finished, “I’m fucking worried about Val. She doesn’t need this shit.” He tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling as if the white-washed surface held the answers to the current situation. Then he lowered his gaze, rubbing a knuckle in the corner of his eye. “She doesn’t need this…” he repeated in a low voice.

JD scowled, “Did I say she did? I’m just saying you don’t need to get all worked up.”

“Don’t you fucking say that,” Matt snarled back at him.

JD held his hands up to placate the singer. “Look, I understand that you’re worried, and pissed at Rob…but this isn’t all bad. She’s been taken to the Guild which means I can find out what’s going on and do something about it.”

Matt scoffed, “Like what? What the fuck can you do? You said if the Guild found out about how things were with us it would mean disaster for Val.”

JD had no answer to the singer’s angry statement. He knew, and Matt knew, what the rules were. And after the outburst on the radio there was no way the Guild didn’t know about the relationship that was blooming. He shifted his feet on the floor and the soles of his shoes squeaked on the lino. Matt glowered at the sound.

“You can’t do shit, can you?” The accusation in Matt’s voice was evident and again JD had no response, he could only shake his head.

“There’s no legal out. Not yet, at least.”

Matt snorted, but made no other comment. Instead he looked over to Michelle again.

“Why didn’t you call me when you first got there?”

She sighed turning to lean against the kitchen bench. “I had to chase after Bella. She was out the front running around like a mad thing.”

“They left the door open?”

“Obviously. She was really upset. Barking and wouldn’t let me grab her.”

Matt grimaced. “She’s gotten attached to Val.” He propped an elbow against the table, as he thought about that for a moment. Dogs were funny creatures. They showered love on everyone, but they picked up on everything and somehow had the intuition to know when something was wrong, at least within their world. And the fact that someone who was not in Bella’s sphere of influence had removed Val from that same sphere that was not right.

He blinked at his thoughts before laughing at himself. “She’s stupid, though.”

“And not a very good guard dog, either,” Brian pointed out.

Matt nodded absently, smearing his hands over his face. “Fuck.” He lifted his head to look at his friend. “So what do I do about this?”

Brian shook his head, uncertainty in his eyes. Michelle folded her arms but didn’t answer.

JD shifted on his seat and muttered in a low voice, “Just sit tight….”

Matt groaned and placed his head in his hands. “JD…fuck…” He peered at the other man through his fingers; his mind was working overtime, processing the entire conversation. Latching onto what JD had said about being able to find out what was going on, he whispered, voice barely audible, “Help me get her back.”

He hated that he sounded so weak, but having no clue what to do he knew it would be stupid just to flounder in his inadequacy. Didn’t mean he had to like the feeling, but he would accept help if it would bring Val back to him.

JD was apparently sensitive of how the singer felt, because all he said in reply was, “I’m onto it.” Standing, he pulled his cell phone from his back pocket, punched in some numbers then walked out of the room as he spoke to whoever answered his call. “Yeah, Denmore here. I need details on Valary Dibenedetto.”

Matt dropped his head in his hands and exhaled on a rough note. Until JD found out what the deal was, he didn’t want to think about how Val was feeling, but it was hard not to. After the little she had told him of the Guild and his own experience he was anxious as to her state of mind. He could imagine that she’d be terribly afraid, and it angered and saddened him that he couldn’t be there for her.

What Matt really wanted was to find where the Guild was and go down there and kick some asses, particularly that of Robert’s. Actually, Matt wanted to do a whole lot more than that to Robert. Images of the man in pain, caused by him, flashed through the singer’s mind. He felt justified in feeling that way, after being made to put Val in her place, after all the shit that Robert had said about the guidelines… Matt groaned and laid his arms out on the table, and just stared down at his hands, imagining them around the other man’s neck…

Meanwhile, Brian settled his weight back in his chair, observing his friend in anxious silence. Michelle joined him, leaning behind him with her arms around his shoulders. They could only wait now. And hope that everything would be alright.

I really hope they can get her back, and I don't know about anyone else, but is anyone else slightly suspicious of Brian?

Hmmm Brian fishy?

Who knows.

Anyway, finally, here is the latest chapter .

~~~~~~

Part Thirty-Seven - "You really love him, don't you?"

Confusion. That’s the state of my mind right now. Of course the stark white walls of the room I’m trapped in, doesn’t help matters. It’s like a blank canvas allowing my thoughts to run rampant across it. I’ve no idea where I am – save that I’m at The Guild – what’s going to happen to me, and when or if I’ll see anyone else, other than Robert and that other man who was with him when he grabbed me.

Robert gave no indication, either, which scares me. He just shoved me in this room and left, without saying a word. My mind is running wild with possible scenarios. I know that isn’t helpful and will most likely just end up depressing me, but I can’t do anything else right now. Short of praying, and I’m not a prayerful person, all I can do is just sit tight and…

Wait… I shift on the bed and slip my hand in the back pocket of my jeans. My fingers touch the plastic casing of my small voice recorder. Blinking, I pull it out and stare at it. I can’t even remember sticking that in my pocket. After Matt so thoroughly reprimanded me for wasting my time with it, I barely touched it.

Closing my fingers around the solid object, I grip it firmly for a moment then I flick absently at the buttons. Glancing down at the screen I notice that the battery is full and smile a little at the random thought that pops into my mind. At least this isn’t some cliché movie scene where the hero or heroine realises there’s only moments left to record a message…

I shake my head as I lay back on the bed and hit the play button, expecting to just hear my own voice as I’m the only person to actually use it. For a couple of minutes, though there’s a bit of static and then the gruff sound of a throat being cleared, before a husky, familiar voice issues from the tiny speaker.

“This is weird…it’s just like talking to yourself…wonder why you bother with this…anyway…hi…thought I’d leave a message here for you. Just found this on the bedside table with your journal.”

Blinking, I look at the recorder.

“No way,” I murmur.

Matt must’ve picked my recorder up again at some later stage. Maybe he put it back in my jeans pocket for some reason. First my journal, now this… I wonder what he had to say. I turn down the volume, shifting into a comfortable position while bringing the speaker to my ear so I can listen to his voice.

Tears prickle at the corners of my eyes, and my breath catches in the back of my throat as his voice washes over me, speaking words of encouragement, tenderness and all those things that I love about him. Shit, I don’t want to seem so dependent on him, but he’s my master and the only one who’s ever given a shit about me. I mean, he loves me…I love him, that’s got to be the ultimate level of emotion anyone can reach. Forget all the Master slave stuff, everything that’s been going on the past few…days is what really matters.

Moaning, I rub at my face and set the player down next to me, leaving it on loop so I can hear his voice. My mind drifts as his rough tones alight on my ears and I think about what he might be doing right now. Routine things, because I can’t cope with the truth of what’s happening to me…

“Valary.”

I jump, torn rudely from my reverie, eyes slewing across to the door. Robert is leaning against the frame a frown marring his features. Swallowing nervously, I quickly shut the player off and slip it back into my pocket.

“Um…hi…” My voice is cracking a little. Can you blame me, though? I’m anxious as all heck, and everything seems to be falling apart around me. I mean, this wasn’t meant to happen. And we were so careful…then again that radio show…

Robert folds his arms, eyes narrowing on me. “JD called. Says he was at,” he pauses, glancing back over his shoulder before returning his gaze to mine, continuing, “Brian’s place.”

I blink a twinge of hope causing my heart rate to increase. I don’t dare respond, though, not wanting to jinx the situation. Robert continues to glare at me as he pushes away from the doorway and approaches me. Tracking him warily, I hold still on the bed, waiting.

He sighs, sitting on the end of the bed the mattress creaking as he does so. Tilting my head I observe as many different expressions pass across his face.

“Sir?”

Robert rakes tense fingers through his hair, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you much, Valary…but you won’t be here long.” He looks at me the corners of his mouth twitching into a tight smile.

There’s not much I can say to that statement, so I just continue to look at him.

He rubs at his face before going on. “You’ll just have to sit tight for a bit. The Guild still has no idea what’s really going on here.”

“Huh?”

Robert rolled his eyes, “They don’t know about me and JD…”

I’m not sure what he means by that, but can’t find the nerve to ask him so I nod before looking down at my hands. Clasping them in my lap, I continue to wait trying not to think too much about what might or might not occur in the near future. Or on my feelings. I especially don’t want to start crying in front of Robert… I’m stronger than that. At least, I like to think I am.

Robert, sighing again, says in a low voice, “I’m sorry I knocked you out…you were going to hurt yourself.”

I peer up at him, sucking at the inside of my cheek. But, I give a slight shake of my head; I don’t blame him for doing that. I did thrash around quite a bit when he and his colleague grabbed me. Lowering my eyes again and pressing my hands between my thighs I just sit there in silence. Really want him to leave me alone again. But, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen any time soon.

Robert shifts on the large bed, sprawling out along the left side. It’s a full-size Queen bed so even with his big body spread out I am able to avoid any contact with him. He turns his head to look at me a small frown creasing his brow.

“Tell me something, Valary.”

I nod hesitantly, “Yes, sir?”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Robert’s voice is low, no hint of any emotion there. I pause, wondering whether it’s safe to respond. He smiles faintly and says, as if reading my mind, “I’m not gonna tell anyone. Just colour me curious.”

My cheeks flush and I tuck my chin down against my chest. Admitting my feelings for Matt isn’t something I really want to do in front of this man. I can’t trust him. The short history between us suggests that it’s not a good idea. Even so, he can probably tell by my reaction how I feel. It’s not like I’m going to deny it.

Robert chuckles softly. “Stupid question, hey? Well, don’t worry. I’m not gonna blab.” He yawns; I hear his jaw crack. “I’d better go. JD might contact me.” I glance at him; his lips curve into a smile that’s almost sincere. “Better yet, maybe Matt will call.”

Closing my eyes, unable to meet his gaze, I give a slight nod, mumbling, “Maybe…”

Robert pats the mattress then gets off, the bed bouncing slightly as he does. I keep my eyes shut, trembling a little. There’s silence for a moment then Robert speaks again.

“I’ll be back, ‘kay? Just…” he pauses, then finishes in a firm tone, “Trust me, ‘kay?”

I don’t respond; there’s nothing I can say to that, and I know I don’t know him well enough to believe what he says. I hear him sigh and then the sound of his footsteps as he leaves the room. The door click shuts behind him and I’m alone again. Alone and no less confused than I was earlier. Guess all I can do is sit here and wait.

And maybe listen to Matt’s voice some more. Lying back on the bed again, I retrieve my audio recorder and switch it onto playback once more. Then, closing my eyes, I listen, allowing a tiny smile to play over my lips as I settle into a light doze.

I read this a couple of nights ago, but never got a chance to comment cos my net has been playing me up. I knew Robert was going to turn up unannounced, I was just a couple of chapters early!

Poor Val, she must be scared out of her wits, so glad Matt made the recording, at least she has that!