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    Post  anDy 12/13/2010, 9:36 am

    Okay so a hobby of mine is writing movie reviews. I have an account on Rotten Tomatoes that I write with. I will use this thread as well.

    IF ANY OF YOU WANT ME TO CHECK OUT A MOVIE FOR YOU, LET ME KNOW HERE.
    I'll watch it and let you know what you should expect from it. =]
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    Post  Justin 12/14/2010, 9:27 am

    Can you watch Batman and Robin and give me a detailed review please? I've always wondered about that one. Smile
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    Post  anDy 12/14/2010, 9:39 am

    Batman and Robin (1997)

    anDy's Movie Review Thread Batman_and_robin_1

    If aids came in the form of cinematography, Batman and Robin would be the HIV of the movie world.

    The premise/plot (that's a stretch) is that Batman and Robin have to stop... Mr Freeze. And Poison Ivy. And Bane that isn't very much like Bane. In fact, none of the characters are the same as they are in the comic books:

    1) Batman's a happy go lucky, boring pussy
    2) Robin never shuts the fuck up, like in the comic, but only this time he doesn't try to be funny (or he does but it doesnt appear that way)
    3) Batgirl is apparently from England but has an American accent. She is also boring.
    4) Mr Freeze, instead of a gaunt, intelligent scientist, is a muscular dimwit who can't annunciate.
    5) Bane is an idiot and a pet, when he is really quite powerful in both brawn and brain in the comics
    6) Poison Ivy is I guess the same, but we still don't give a shit about this one.

    So while rainbow bright's home town is... Im sorry.
    So while Gotham City is being attacked, batman and robin do all they can to stop the day. Like skate in a museum, surf on iron doors down ceilings, and bet on hookers with their own bat credit cards. If this isn't enough to make you go "fuck this Im going home", then you must be five. Or four.

    So some shit happens, Alfreds all sick but then he isnt, Batgirl goes to some rave and almost crashes into a green screen then is saved by Robin (isn't that worse than death?), then Gotham City is all frozen and shit then it isn't.

    That is pretty much the movie.

    It would be wiser to be killed than watch this.

    Final rating. 0.1/10 (Arnold's voice makes me laugh)
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    Post  anDy 12/16/2010, 8:43 am

    NEW MOVIE REVIEW
    I will try and do as many as these as I can. Reviews of new movies that most have not seen before.

    Biutiful (2010)
    anDy's Movie Review Thread Biutiful_1
    I don't know where to begin without bawling my eyes out. I guess we can start with emotional connection then. Director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu is pretty much one of the biggest Mexican directors at the moment, and he only has made four films. His debut, Amores Perros, is described as the Mexican Pulp Fiction. His American debut, 21 Grams, gave Naomi Watts an Oscar nomination and helped bring his name to the American public. This helped him with 06's Babel, a film that made him the first Mexican director to ever be nominated for best director. There have been very high hopes for his years-in-the-making Biutiful.

    Every one of Inarritu's films deal with crime and are devastatingly heavy. 21 Grams, for instance, is a jumbled-up-plot line film where you experience a non linear sequence of happiness being shattered by death, and at the beginning of the film no one knows what is going on (until all is explained at the end). This, like all of his films, is a crime film that tries to connect to the audience as best as it can. But how can it? Not many people are criminals, surprisingly (unless you count downloading but that's redundant for this review). Amores Perros dealt with shock. 21 Grams used a jumbled plot to get the audience guessing and involved. Babel used current events. As fantastic as all of these films are, I always had a sense that Inarritu never reached his full potential.

    Until Biutiful.

    His first Spanish film since Amores Perros, Biutiful is yet again a crime film. However it is not your conventional crime drama. This film is far more complex in terms of plot and human psyche. Inarritu decided to be very risky with this film, as before he tried to appeal to the masses to get his name out. Now, he wants the audiences to come to him. Only one big named star in this film, and that's Javier Bardem, of whom was unfortunately almost unknown to the mainstream world until 2007, when No Country For Old Men shook the world. He has been an incredible actor far before then, however, including 2000's Before Night Falls. So now with his recent fame, Bardem is the only eye catcher, apart from Inarritu himself, for conventional film goers. How does a film as risky as this pay off? As being one of the year's best, and possibly the foreign language film of the year.

    Bardem is Uxbal: A middle aged father of two who lives in the crime ridden streets in Spain. Apart from fathering his own children (of whom he raises with their bi-polar, time bomb mother), he organizes various groups of people, such as an underground Asian group, a set of construction workers, and a poor African family. He has so many responsibilities as he illegally shelters the African family, and puts himself in a bad place with the Asian market. This is just the beginning.

    The catch of the film is that not only does he father all of these "communities", he has just discovered that he has terminal cancer and that he only has weeks to live. Uxbal decides to devote as much time to his loved ones as he can, but things only get worse and worse for him.

    I see this film as a modern day, Spanish "Philadelphia". It is not a courtroom drama or a story about a taboo subject that begs for debate. This is simply a man dying of cancer. How it is like Philadelphia, however, is that the audience literally witnesses the slow decline of men who were once visibly healthy. It's absolutely terrifying to do so, and like Tom Hanks, Javier Bardem is a tour-de-force. Also like Tom Hanks, not only should Bardem be nominated, but if he does not win I will be severely disappointed and appalled. There have been many wonderful male lead roles this year, ranging from Colin Firth, Jesse Eisenberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, James Franco, and others. But this role was the first to grab me by the veins of my heart and beg me to join them in their final hour. Although none of the other males were in movies about death (some survival, though), Bardem is still very far in the front for the best of the year; as great as the other actors were, of course.

    Before I get sidetracked, I just want to commend one final thing, even though everything about this film was spotless (I will leave that for you to discover for yourself, though): Its fantastic use of the three-act structure. This is the sole purpose why Biutiful is Inarritu's best and most connective story. The first act is the back story of Uxbal's importance. The second act is complete misfortune and the, not gradual, but very steep downfall into the depths of human sorrow. This is the award winning part that comes up, though: The third act. The third act of picking ones self back up, even soon before death, and appreciating what life is truly about. You witness a man who can barely stand or breath anymore trying to live his life as happily as he can and succeeding. Absolute brilliance, and not a better ending could be asked for.

    Biutiful is what its name is (forgive the corniness but it is true). An exquisite examination of human strength, love, mentality, and courage. When the version with subtitles is released on dvd/blu ray (which is in late December I believe), I suggest every single person should watch this once. Is it the best of the year? It's a bit early to tell, but it is top five material for sure. Inception is this year's action flick. The Social Network is this year's script writing wonder. The Town is this year's crime drama. Biutiful is this year's celebration of life and its purpose.

    Final Rating: 9.8/10
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    Post  Yohan 12/16/2010, 10:58 pm

    Perfect review of Batman and Robin. The all-time lowmark for movies. How the hell you can make Clooney and Thurman look insanely stupid and corny is however geniuous. I've seen them in countless movies and no other director has achieved that. The Batman credit card, the ice-skating, all that you mentioned is so god damn stupid it's funny. The casting of Arnold as Freeze was also a genious move. It fit with the vibe of stupid. The movie is the only one I've seen that is more stupid than Gigli. That's saying a lot. Personally I think you're far to kind when giving it a rating. It's not a serious attempt at a movie, it doesn't deserve a rating.
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    Post  deceit 12/17/2010, 12:04 am

    hi andy dear. Smile

    if you have the time will you review Jacob's Ladder?

    i bought this over Thanksgiving break, watched it, and it just didn't click with me.

    i feel like it's one of those movies where you have to watch it more than once.
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    Post  anDy 12/17/2010, 12:09 pm

    Yohan wrote:Perfect review of Batman and Robin. The all-time lowmark for movies. How the hell you can make Clooney and Thurman look insanely stupid and corny is however geniuous. I've seen them in countless movies and no other director has achieved that. The Batman credit card, the ice-skating, all that you mentioned is so god damn stupid it's funny. The casting of Arnold as Freeze was also a genious move. It fit with the vibe of stupid. The movie is the only one I've seen that is more stupid than Gigli. That's saying a lot. Personally I think you're far to kind when giving it a rating. It's not a serious attempt at a movie, it doesn't deserve a rating.

    Ahaha thanks.
    The 0.1 was for AHHHNULLLLLLLD always providing the lulz.

    deceit wrote:hi andy dear. Smile

    if you have the time will you review Jacob's Ladder?

    i bought this over Thanksgiving break, watched it, and it just didn't click with me.

    i feel like it's one of those movies where you have to watch it more than once.

    Sure thing! I will do it in a seccy, after my next review. =] And you're right about watching it more than once but I'll get to that.
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    Post  anDy 12/17/2010, 12:35 pm

    Black Swan (2010)
    anDy's Movie Review Thread Black-swan-poster

    2010 is the year of the auteur.
    What is an auteur, in terms of directing? Pretty much a director that has a significant style that you can always bank on when you watch their films. Christopher Nolan does intense action flicks with mental twists. Martin Scorsese does usually urban crime movies that showcase the casualty of violence. And Michael Bay does shit.
    With Darren Aronofsky, you can always expect the weight of the titanic on your back and a war in your brain.

    Pi is a mental game. Requiem For A Dream is a stab to the brain. The Wrestler was a tug at your nerves and heart strings. Now, Black Swan is Darren's idea of a brain experiment.

    The movie is simply about a ballerina named Nina (Natalie Portman) who has just gotten the part of the lead swan queen in Swan Lake. However, her instructor (Vincent Cassel) believes that even though her technique is good to play the white swan in the performance, her natural essence is not good enough for the evil black swan half. While this is going on, Nina meets another new ballerina named Lilly (Mila Kunis), who is out to steal her position as head swan. Or is she?

    The movie takes a common problem with most performers: The fear of not being perfect. Then Darren adds his usual devastating flair by making Black Swan by far the darkest movie of this year, and of the past couple of years. In fact, it is also a bit scary at times. I had a rush bigger from this film, about ballerinas, than I have with most modern horror films. Just imagine if Aronofsky ever decided to make a film about an exorcism: No one would ever be able to sleep.

    Acting wise, this film is superb. While Natalie Portman is always adorable and likable, I always saw her characters as "good ol' Natalie", even movies where she is a stripper. Aronofsky is one of the best directors out there when it comes to breaking character molds and allowing actors to reach their potentials. He got Marlon Wayans to show he is not a joke in Requiem. He got Micky Rourke to have one of the biggest comebacks in the noughties' decade for Hollywood. Now, he has gotten Natalie Portman to break out of her shell and have an unexplainable performance. I could not expect this performance from anyone, let alone Portman. What a challenging act, much like her role in the ballet that she has to work so hard to make natural. Portman as an actress looks effortless in this film. Here's an example. She just received the part of the head swan. Nina, who is very reserved, shy, and proper, humbly goes into the bathroom, sits on a stall and calls her mother. Her look of anticipation and trying to hide her smile alone made me think "Woah. Natalie Portman has got it." Then she burst with tears of joy over the phone. Just give her the oscar now, because when it comes to the female roles of 2010 I don't think you will find a more genuine role than just that ten second clip alone.

    The other actors were fantastic as well. What can I say about Vincent Cassel which isn't already obvious? Criminally underrated actor. Mila Kunis also appeared to be doctored by Aronofsky a bit as we, for the first time, do not get "Oh look at me being silly and loud". Kunis is actually very laid back and is the ultimate badass in this film. She has broken her mold. Seriously, can Aronofsky direct some more to save us from planks like Worthington and Cera? Barbara Hershey as Nina's controlling, overly sensitive mother, also provides a superb performance as the typical mother of whom we can all relate to and cringe about, but want to love. Finally there is Winona Ryder's minimal but necessary part, as the former ballerina of the performance hall. Her mere minutes of anger, then dismay, are, again, very short, but they work so well as a rope around Nina's neck for the entire movie as we feel nothing but added guilt and a possible mutual path.

    Like Tim Burton and Danny Elfman, Aronofsky is never without his top notch music provider Clint Mansell. The entire soundtrack is a combination of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake numbers, and modern terror. Did you expect anything less than completely necessary and amazing from Mansell?

    But to leave this on a realistic note: Black Swan is not as dark as it appears. It is far more darker. For those familiar with the story of Swan Lake (if you aren't, Black Swan will make you a scholar on it), this movie works in the exact same manor with story line, character progression, and even the music. The first two acts are a surveillance of Nina's struggle to be the best she can be while being natural. Then, the final act is the witnessing of a burning angel. Plot wise, it is depressing. Character wise, Portman changes instantly. Cinematography wise, you will cower in your seats scared about what will happen next.

    Black Swan is incredible. One of Aronofsky's best. Portman's best by lightyears. It would be no surprise if this film is a front runner for the Academy Awards. While the script won't beat Social Network's geeky-genius craft, Black Swan is best remembered as a whole and not distinctive parts and thus will make it very easily a commendable nomination for Director, Actress (of which it should win), Original Score, Editing, Cinematography, and finally, Film. Will it win best film? Maybe. I'm guessing it won't, but does it have to? Does a film this different and this unique need a golden statue? Apart from its more than deserved acting title, Black Swan is best as its own and should be treated that way. One of the best of this year.

    Final Rating: 9.6/10
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    Post  anDy 12/17/2010, 12:53 pm

    Jacob's Ladder (1990)
    anDy's Movie Review Thread Jacobs_ladder

    Jacob's Ladder is unique. It is the tale of Jacob Singer (Tim Robbins) and his slow realization that something is not alright with his world as he slowly discovers that he could very well be in hell. The inspiration for many horror themed franchises, such as Silent Hill, this movie is pretty creepy. When it is not creepy, it can be either fairly engaging or way too campy to be enjoyed. There are two reasons for this.

    First off, Danny Aiello is a wonderful actor, but his role as an angel figure in this movie was far too cheesy. As Jacob's masseuse, Danny lends him hints about life and goodness. His presence as an "angel" is far too obvious and it kind of spoils it. If Jacob were to just descend into hell, and then AFTER that, slowly make his way back up, this hallmark-obvious scenario wouldn't dampen the flow of the story's fire as it makes its way into the audience's seats. Unfortunately, we do not get affected.

    Secondly, Macaulay Culkin. Okay, maybe I am being biased because I can't stand him as an actor (I'm sure he's a nice guy in real life but whatever). Every scene with him on screen, which are short but still menacing, just invokes the same problem as before: Dampening the fire by creating an obvious ending.

    Okay onto the movie's good parts. Tim Robbins is good as always. Jason Alexander is also good, which a lot of people don't give him enough credit for sometimes. The scary scenes are very memorable and absolutely lovable (ain't I a sadist?). You almost want to join hell with Jacob, but then you realize the situation and it occurs to you just how scary this movie can be and how you wanted to be a part of it. Now, this good part leads to the final bad part.

    With the slow rated G moments combined with the Rated R moments (including devil and reptile fornication with strobe lights. Oh god, not the strobe lights), this movie is very stop start. You lose focus then you want to divide all of your focus. It's a bit tiring even, and for a movie that plays with your mind, you need full attention at all times. It is a film that requires repeats just so you can catch what you missed, even if you have to put up with shit-eating-grin happiness. Overall, the movie has good intentions and was made reasonably alright. Its signature scenes are what keep this movie about death alive, though.

    Final Rating: 6.8/10
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    Post  chacotaco 12/17/2010, 1:06 pm

    Nice review of Black swan. I'm always up for a mind fuck! I love movies like shutter Island and Inception where they flip everything you just saw and then absolutely rape your mind Razz.

    I'll definitely check the movie out
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    Post  CiaraCobb 12/17/2010, 5:30 pm

    I think I've been waiting for your Black Swan review for about 6 months andy, ever since you first mentioned it to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that it lived up to it's promise from the trailer. Now I just gotta wait till the new year to be able to go see it.

    Jacob's ladder is one I've never seen but is always there on that "one day I'll get round to it" list.

    Biutiful is also totally going on the "must see now" list. I loved pretty much every other movie you mentioned in the course of the review (of those I have seen) so I'd really like to see this one too.

    Thanks for the reviews.
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    Post  anDy 12/18/2010, 2:43 am

    chacotaco wrote:Nice review of Black swan. I'm always up for a mind fuck! I love movies like shutter Island and Inception where they flip everything you just saw and then absolutely rape your mind Razz.

    I'll definitely check the movie out

    Thanks man.
    I think once you understand Black Swan that it is a bit obvious, but that's what is so great about it. You then feel that the outcome is inevitable and there is nothing you can do to stop it. You'll see what I mean when you watch it and I don't wanna give too much away. =P

    CiaraCobb wrote:I think I've been waiting for your Black Swan review for about 6 months andy, ever since you first mentioned it to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that it lived up to it's promise from the trailer. Now I just gotta wait till the new year to be able to go see it.

    Jacob's ladder is one I've never seen but is always there on that "one day I'll get round to it" list.

    Biutiful is also totally going on the "must see now" list. I loved pretty much every other movie you mentioned in the course of the review (of those I have seen) so I'd really like to see this one too.

    Thanks for the reviews.

    Thank you very much! =]
    If there is anything you'd like me to review, since I usually only post reviews of movies I have thoroughly enjoyed (I don't always give films good ratings I swear) let me know! Since you and I have similar tastes however, if you want me to watch a crap film and review that one then let me know as well. =D
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    Post  anDy 12/25/2010, 2:45 pm

    A Christmas Carol (2009)
    anDy's Movie Review Thread ChistmasCarol2009-Poster

    I honestly did not want to watch this. I watched it just to have some sort of Christmas spirit, I guess. While it may look very unfunny from its trailers, it actually is not a funny film at all. In fact, it is not for kids. It was also surprisingly not too shabby.

    Jim Carrey is a number of roles, including all of the ghosts apart from Marley. His main role is Ebenezer Scrooge. Surprisingly, Carrey proves to be a good voice actor in all of his roles. I had NO idea he was the ghosts until the credits rolled. Shocking. Gary Oldman also proves to be a wonderful voice actor as both Jacob Marley (Scrooge's deceased business partner) and Cratchit, Scrooge's current assistant. Other actors include Bob Hoskins, Colin Firth, and Robin Wright.

    The second thing worth noting is the incredible CGI. Absolutely phenomenal. Director Robert Zemeckis has always been a fan of current technology, starting from the impressive historical manipulations in Forrest Gump, to the use of motion capture for Polar Express. Here, he experiments with 3-Dimensional CGI, also with the mocap suit. Now, most 3-D movies seem to be very surface level entertainment, but this 3-D was actual 3-D. You felt as if you were flying and soaring through the cities and buildings at points. That and the details were absolutely lifelike. What's interesting is that not only does Zemeckis use this to enhance the story's magic, but he adds his own, such as Scrooge viewing his current day through his transparent floor with the Ghost of the Present Day. Absolutely mind blowing.

    However, these two very high points lead to this film's downfall. As well acted and visually incredible as it is, it's the same story really. Nothing wrong with keeping to traditional stories, but I personally found that the entire movie was me staring in awe at the scenery and going nuts over the voice work. The story gets shafted underneath all of the surface level working. Because the story is so familiar, I pretty much went auto pilot on the story. I mean, it's not like Zemeckis did nothing to help this. In fact, he puts an interesting, very adult spin on the story (which I'm sure was adult to begin with but has changed into a childrens story in modern day). You'd think a movie made by Disney would continue the safe path, but not when you see Scrooge hanging on for dear life above hell. Literal hell. Also, the ghosts seemed to be mostly lifelike and actually creepy, instead of silly creepy (apart from one scene with a congregation of moronic spirits).

    Zemeckis did everything he could to put a spin on this movie, and he did rather well. The problem is, there was just too much good and that made the story that we all know suffer. Again, I do not blame him. Is this movie worth a spin? For sure. It's actually pretty interesting. There is one scene we could have done without, and it has to do with the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come where nothing really happens but I'll leave that for you to find out. Apart from that, it was just bad luck but an experimental risk well worth taking. It's one of the better Christmas movies I have seen in a while because it is not afraid to show its true meaning, while most Christmas movies hide behind campy songs and cheesy plots. I say this one is worth the watch.

    Final Rating: 6.3/10
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    Post  CiaraCobb 4/5/2011, 6:07 am

    DUDE!

    Any chance you are gonna be seeing Suckerpunch any time soon? Would love to hear your thoughts on it!
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    Post  Joh7X 5/28/2011, 3:12 am

    Okay, so I just heard about this one.. It's called "Eraserhead". I was just told it's messed up.. That's all I know. You can check that one out for me. Wink



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