24/11 U/D: Shadows Creed - Rated R - Part Fifty-Three

I shall await with baited breath!

And here it is


31
The right thing

Matthew pinched at the bridge of his nose as he sat with his head hanging down between his knees. The doc sat opposite him quietly scribbling on his notepad. They’d sat there for the past fifteen minutes, in silence. They were in the common room where the soldiers would chill when they were done with their duties for the day. No one was in there at this time of the day and so Matthew and Dr James had commandeered the space for their session.

The chair Matthew was seated on was a hard-backed leather piece that wasn’t the most comfortable furniture in the room. However, he chose to sit there, rather than the couch that was in the corner of the room because he felt he needed to. He needed to be uncomfortable so he could sort his emotions out. A strange way to be but he felt like he was drowning in his mind and he knew he had to deal with it.

“This fucking sucks.”

The doc lifted his head and raised an eyebrow slightly, but said nothing at Matthew’s sudden declaration.

Matt exhaled a harsh sound. “I can still see his eyes. Fuck…” He smeared a hand over his face.

“Matt Berry’s?”

“Yeah…I…shit…” Matthew was at a loss for words. His voice was stuck in the back of his throat and he couldn’t get passed it. He pressed the heel of his right hand into his eye sockets while squeezing his knee with the left.

The doc shifted slightly setting his pen down as he said, softly, “Want to talk me through it?”

Matt snorted, “Why? Because it might help?”

“You decide.”

Matthew sighed, leaning back on his seat as he stared up at the ceiling. The stark glow of fluorescent lights lit up his face, revealing how pale he looked. He grunted trying to come to term with his thoughts. After the anticipation from the previous night, this whole situation had brought him right back down into a hole and he really didn’t know how to deal with it. Talking about it probably would help, though…even if it was hard. Even if it were too soon…Even if it were something he wasn’t used to doing…

“I’m so fucking pissed,” Matthew muttered. “So…unnecessary.”

The doctor nodded, but didn’t interrupt giving him the space to say what needed to be said.

“He…just…” He shook his head angrily, “Fuck…I can’t believe he’d do that to me…ugh…I can’t.” He cut off abruptly and stood up. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this…need to get out of here.” Matt hated that he sounded so weak and uncertain, but the execution had screwed him over, and the fact that it had hit him so hard, so fast…it was too much. He needed to leave; he couldn’t contain himself in that space any longer. He couldn’t do what was unnatural for him. Why he’d thought this time would be any different, he had no clue.

The doc picked up on the vibes that the big male was putting off and got to his feet quickly.

“Matthew, you cannot leave the grounds, the General was quite explicit about that.”

Matt growled a wounded sound that came from deep within him. “Fuck that. He’ll have to cuff me to stop me from leaving.”

Dr James sighed heavily, “I’d be obligated to ensure that happens.”

He no more enjoyed the situation than the young man in front of him, but he had his orders. And when the General had approached him to counsel Shadows through the execution process he had been given direct command to not let the former T-One out of his sight once all was completed. If that meant restraining him in any form, then so be it.

Matthew groaned as he began to pace. “What if I want to see my wife?”

The doc blinked. It was rare for Matt to mention his life outside of The Creed. Hearing his question actually surprised him.

“Well, the General made no mention of her.”

Matthew looked up at him, eyes hard. “She’s working at the council. I can go there.”

Dr James’ brow furrowed and he tapped his pen against his chin. “Would you go direct?”

“Yeah, need to go see her.” He halted in the middle of the room, digging his fingers into his pockets. The doc sighed again looking to the door.

“Alright, I will go speak to the General. Stay here, okay?”

Matthew nodded, planting himself back on his chair. The doc left him there to find the General.

Fifteen minutes later, he was out of the Creed barracks on his bike the wind in his face as he sped down the main road toward the Council chambers. Of course, there had been conditions – be back in two hours, don’t talk to anyone, leave your phone on - but he’d ignored them letting the doc’s words float over him and blow away. He didn’t care about any of that. He just needed to clear his head and see his wife.

Valary…Valary… he needed her. In more ways than one. Before he imploded.

* * * * *

Phillipa practically jumped out of her skin as Matthew Sanders burst through the front doors a dark expression on his face a growl in his voice as he snapped at her.

“Where’s Valary?” The darkness in his tone worried the woman, but she knew better than to question the big male. She’d seen what had happened, everyone had. Matthew Berry was dead; the execution had been televised to the whole city. And, obviously, M Shadows was in a volatile state of mind.

“Office.” That was all she managed to get out as Matthew lurched for the corridor and disappeared without a backwards glance. She frowned as she heard a door open then a soft gasp of surprise before it slammed shut.

* * * * *

Valary gasped as Matthew pushed his big body against hers, holding her firmly against the edge of the desk. He didn’t give her a chance to speak, to ask him what he was doing there; he hooked his fingers into the waist of her pants and tugged them down in an impatient gesture. All the while, he was kissing her hungrily on the mouth. She moaned as she clutched at the material of his top, curling her fingers in it as she responded to the ferocity of his motions.

Matthew growled low, the sound rumbling from deep inside his chest. “Need you…” The first words he’d spoken since entering the office.

Val just managed a small whimper as he shoved a hand down the front of her panties, palming her firmly. She moved to him almost involuntarily, her body switched on almost instantly at the contact. He growled louder, pressing closer; she gasped as she felt the bulge in his pants. He was obviously aroused and the size of him amazed her, as it did every time. He wasn’t lying when he said he needed her that was for sure.

“Matt...” She wanted to protest, though part of her mind was oddly thinking that his timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Elliott had left for a meeting across town and it was only her and the secretary in this section of the council buildings…

He kissed her harder then, tilting her chin a little, licked and nibbled down her neck as he slid a finger inside her slick folds. She was already juicing a little at his ministrations. She tightened her hold on his top as he stroked her from inside. By now, coherent thought had all but fled from her mind as he manipulated her pleasure, bringing her to the edge.

“Matt…” his name almost a curse on her lips. His lips pulled back into a snarl as he sank a second finger inside her, twisting them to brush against her spot. She whined at him moving up to him as he nuzzled into her neck and sucked hard. There would be a mark, a hickey, proof positive that he had taken what was his.

As she started to peak, Matthew pulled his fingers out and lifted her up onto the desk, ignoring her mewled protest at the loss of contact.

“Need inside you,” Matthew’s voice was rough with lust as he unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants and boxers, revealing his growing arousal. Val swallowed hard staring at him. His lips twisted in a dark smirk as he gripped her hips and pulled her to the edge of the desk, tugging her underwear down her legs. She trembled as he pushed her knees apart and pressed between them, stroking his cock against her mound.

Matthew thumbed her clit, forcing a soft cry from her as he entered her, opening her to him. She grabbed onto the edge of the desk then changed her mind as she shifted her grip to Matt’s shoulders. The tension in them was massive; he was coiled so tight she felt that he would break.

“Matt?” This time his name was a question. He responded by sinking deep inside her as he groaned out loud. She clenched softly on him. Matthew closed his eyes and just held still within her core.

Val chewed on her bottom lip then gasped as he bucked firmly. He growled at her gasp then slowly began to move, his motions hard and deep. Val leaned her head back allowing herself to let go, and savour the moment as he drew her pleasure back toward that peak. Whatever questions she had would have to wait. All she had the energy to do now was feel; she felt all of him right to the core of her being, the heat building within her as he moved harder.

The desk creaked beneath them as he practically pounded her against it, his movements rough, almost brutal as he took her, controlled her, all his pent up frustrations roiling inside him as he pumped them into her. Val went with him, her own mind clicked onto his emotions, crying out as she rolled toward the edge.

“Matt!” She peaked with a cry, her body rocking beneath his as she tightened around him. He grunted and pumped through her release his own surging into her as he kept up the pace.

Val trembled as she came down from her high; Matthew groaned as he slowed down, head dipped down, breaths coming hard and fast. Silence settled between them; he still inside her, her clenching lightly. As the room stilled a soft hitch of breath filled the space between them. She blinked as another one came then another, and she frowned looking at her husband.

“Matt?”

He shuddered, his big shoulders moving slightly. She squeezed them, rubbing at his right one in a soothing gesture. His big body trembled and he groaned softly.

“Fuck, Val.” He swallowed hard. “Fuck…just fuck…” Another hitched breath which turned into a strangled sound, a sob. She slid her arms around his neck and leaned her cheek against his head. At her embrace, Matthew shivered and finally let go as another sob slipped from him. Something inside had broken as he leaned into her and wept.

Val rocked him and murmured sweet nothings into his ear as he cried. He felt so weak, but for once he didn’t care. He needed this release as much as the other. It was as if the sex had unlocked the part of him that had been sealed shut so tight since Luke’s death. Opened that part of his heart which hurt the most. It stung, but he needed it. And Val, the saint that she was, just held him through it all.

Matthew breathed deeply and finally managed to find a semblance of composure as he pulled back from her. He readjusted her clothing then moved away to pick up his clothes. She tilted her head at him as he got dressed again and then planted himself on the chair in front of the desk. His face was open, eyes still shimmering with tears that had yet to be spilled.

“Val…you okay? I was kinda rough with you,” his voice was husky. She shook her head at him, smiling a little at the fact that after all that he still had the wherewithal to ask whether she was alright. She was sore and knew she probably wouldn’t handle going through that again, not at that intensity at least. But, she understood the why behind it so she wasn’t going to complain about it.

“I’m okay, love. Are you?”

Matthew heaved a sigh. “I will be…just…” his voice trailed off, his breaths finally steadying. She nodded; no explanation was needed. They both knew it would take time. He sighed again, smearing his hands over his face. “He was so brave, Val…braver than me…”

Valary shivered and murmured, “You don’t have to talk about it…” She didn’t know if she could stand to hear it; Matt Berry had been her friend too. But, her husband seemed suddenly to have found the nerve he required to speak it out.

“I’m not telling the doc any of this. Shit’s not his business.” Matthew laughed, sadly. “But…I know I have to get it out. Probably never talk about it after this…” Val nodded to him and slid off the desk and sat at his feet, leaning back so she could look up at him.

He gently ran his fingers through her hair as he spoke softly. “He calmed me…insisted the General stand outside the room…so grateful to him for that,” Matt harshly cleared his throat. “Held my eyes when I…when I shot him…fuck, Val…he deserves a fucking medal. He told me he didn’t blame me for this…and that…that…” Matthew choked on his words and dropped his head again. Val reached up to stroke a palm over his jaw.

He took strength from her touch and whispered, “Said that he thought I was doing the right thing.”

“The right thing?” Valary tilted her head as her fingers lingered on his cheek. He gave her a look, lips twitched into a slight smile.

“You know.”

She sighed and nodded, “About that…”

He caught hold of her hand and squeezed it. “I’m truly sorry, Val. I was going to tell you.”

Val shook her head and leaned her head against his thigh. “It doesn’t matter now. You’ve been punished enough…”

Matthew closed his eyes at her statement; hadn’t he just. Punished, yet not deterred.

Now, more so than ever, he was determined to go through with what he had planned. And, now he had another reason to do so. In memory of Luke’s passion for rock music and now also for Matt Berry, a friend who should not have died: He would fight for what was right, no matter the cost. And with the love of his life by his side…he felt nothing was impossible.

I've read many fanfics. I've read many books. But I can't think of another character whose pain has been *that* palpable. I literally could feel his pain here and I understand why he doesn't want to tell the doctor. However, I'm going to go against Matt and say that he *needs* to tell the doc. I know it's now what he wants and I completely understand why, but I think it's important to get it out.

You try telling Shads that, Kel...I've a feeling he won't tell the doc...

I don't think he will either. But he *needs* to and while that goes against what he wants, I want to see that doctor get it out of him because it needs to happen.

He's yelling in my head now, Kel...lol. Something like... "I'm not fucking telling that doc cos he'll tell Eskino..." Lol. *Sigh* Come on, Shads...doctor patient confidentiality, ya know?

Just as I'm about to go to bed, lol! Shads, calm down, man up, and tell the fucking doctor! He *can't* tell Eskino!

I kinda actually have this feeling that now he's found a release and also his determination to go through with his plan, that he maybe will talk to the doc. He's not going to tell him everything, not by a long shot, but he'll talk, at least enough to stop himself getting reprimanded for it.

But then I could be way off base with this one, just my sleepy brain talking.

Sleepy brains are often more imaginative I find...the problem for me is that when I have good story ideas when I'm sleepy...I don't have the energy to write them down. Lol.

As to Shads and the shrink...he's still being stubborn...

Finally Enjoy


32
Trust

“Matt, you on your way out? Don’t forget your lunch!” Val yelled from the living room as she heard her husband heading to the kitchen. Matthew poked his head around the doorway and grinned at her. She was seated in front of the coffee table papers and files spread out in front of her, glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. She was finally reaching the end of the planning for Elliott’s campaign and had decided to finish her work at home so she could be with Matt.

Anxiety for his state of mind since Matt Berry’s execution had plagued Val’s every waking moment and she found she couldn’t concentrate while at the office. The Mayor had also noticed her extra twitchiness and suggested she work from home. She’d fought against his advice until she came home one day a week after the execution and found Matthew laid out in the middle of the gym on his stomach, crying. To see her big, fearless husband lying there, completely broken, shook her to the core.

Of course he would never admit to anyone outside of her, and maybe his friends, that he had lost it. That hard, cold front was always in place once he stepped out the door. Except this day seemed to be different. It were as if he’d finally sorted his mind out. He appeared more at ease. More himself. Val would even tentatively suggest that he was almost back to being the man she had married.

It was nearly a month since the execution and Matthew finally appeared ready to function again. Working on auto-pilot had been the order of the day, getting up, going to the Creed, and doing his daily duties without complaint. But, his heart hadn’t been in it, and a dark cloud permeated his mood and their lives. But now… Valary sensed a dawning sense of hope and anticipation. It just frustrated her that he was still not quite open with her about his plans. He had basically just reiterated what Brian had revealed to her, but not really given any explanation behind it.

Matthew smiled at her as she tried to get through the pile of paperwork before her. “You make enough for the guys to have some?”

Val blinked at him, “What?”

“I’m headed to Syn’s. Not to the Creed.”

“What? Why not?”

Matthew shrugged. “Doc told me to take a day off.” His tone was light as if it wasn’t particularly bothering him. It bothered her, though.

“You spoke to the shrink?”

“Yeah…” his voice took on a guarded edge.

Val grimaced at him. “Did you tell him what you told me?”

“Val,” Matthew sighed, “we’ve been through this already.”

“Did you?”

“Val-”

“Did you?” Val asked, insistently. He rubbed at the back of his neck nodding in the affirmative, but before he could answer the sound of a car horn blaring interrupted his thoughts.

He rolled his eyes. “That’s Zack. I’ll see you tonight.”

Valary pushed her glasses up her nose and arched her eyebrows at him. Matthew blinked at her.

“Val?”

She shook her head, waving a hand. “Go. Do your thing, Matt.”

Matt nodded and made to leave, but paused in the doorway and looked at her, a tender expression in his eyes.

“Talk tonight?”

Val nodded. He smiled then ducked out, footsteps clomping along the hallway. She smiled to herself, waited for a heartbeat then called out again.

“Lunch in fridge!”

* * * * *

Zacky tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he peered out at the other vehicles that surrounded them on the highway. He was impatient to get to his friend’s place and he knew that Matthew who was sitting next to him, fiddling with the radio was just as anxious.

“Fuckin’ Friday drivers’,” the mechanic grumbled.

Matthew glanced over at him and smirked. “Getting pissed?”

“Can you blame me, Shads?”

“No blame to be had. If I were driving…” he shook his head and chuckled.

Zacky snorted, “You’re terrible.”

“True. Also, I’m a fucking soldier. Tens time worse.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” The mechanic smirked at his friend then growled as the lights changed. “Right…” He floored the pedal pealing passed a shocked cyclist leaving the other drivers stunned in their wake.

Matthew swore then laughed as they shot down the Coast road. “Fuck, V…”

Zachary grunted but didn’t respond as he concentrated on weaving his way through the traffic. He wanted to get to Brian’s and wanted to get stuck into Matthew’s plan. He had met Elijah and seen his studio and the reality of what Matthew had revealed to him was finally sinking in. Zacky still had reservations but he hoped that as they went through the process his nerves would settle. Though after having the consequences of their activities explained to him, he wasn’t so sure that would ever actually happen.

“Shads?” He slowed as they hit the backstreets that heralded the entrance of the estate that Brian lived in.

Matthew glanced over at him. “Yeah?”

“It’s not a joke, is it? Masters is really Eskino’s brother?”

He nodded slowly as he checked the time on his phone. “No joke. That’s why Eli’s off the radar. Immunity, of a sort.”

Zacky whistled softly as he turned into their friend’s street. Of course, it was a no-brainer that that immunity wouldn’t cover them if they were caught. Especially not for Matthew. As a soldier of The Creed, well he didn’t like to think about what Matt had told them about that. It wasn’t a pretty image for one to have in one’s mind.

“It makes you wonder,” he murmured.

Matthew snorted, “About what?”

“What’s really going on in that man’s head,” Zacky muttered as he pulled into Brian’s drive. The poet was standing in the front yard, holding a bottle of his brew in hand, his eyes fixed on their vehicle. Matthew just shook his head as he got out and waved to their mutual friend.

“Don’t think I want to know, right now.”

Zacky nodded as Brian cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Know what?”

“Oh, we were just talking about Eskino,” Matthew said as he headed for the house. Brian tilted his head then glanced at Zacky who just rolled his eyes as they followed him inside.

Michelle was in the kitchen making meals for her day. She had to go to work but had stayed home a little longer than usual because Brian had been in a complete mess over his work; a piece he was attempting to write for a government advertisement. His official job that no one ever really talked about because it detracted from his own passion and now got in the way of Matthew’s plan. But, it was what he was paid to do. And it was getting on his nerves.

All his notes were strewn across the bench and kitchen table, words written in a scrawl across the pages. Matt raised his eyebrows at the mess.

“Your day job getting to ya, Syn?”

Brian groaned and went around gathering the pages together. “It’s annoying and something I could do without.”

Matthew gave an empathetic grunt and helped his friend pick them up and stack them on the bench. He knew what that felt like; he was fed up with the Creed and all it stood for. But, he had to keep slogging along and keep doing his job, no matter how menial the task was.

As they put the last pages down, Zacky went to the fridge and grabbed a couple of bottles of Brian’s whiskey. He opened them and plonked them down in front of his friends. They each took one giving him thankful looks.

“Where’s Jimmy?” Matthew asked around a mouthful of whiskey. Brian grinned for the first time since they’d arrived.

“He’s in the study, searching something on the net. He’s taken it upon himself to try and see whether there have been any other attempts at campaigns like this one in the past.”

“And?” Matthew lifted an eyebrow.

Jimmy’s light tones filled the room in answer as he walked into the kitchen, “There’s only been two. And both times the campaigners were crushed ruthlessly by the Creed.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Matt growled in disgust. The others shook their heads in agreement with his statement. Zacky sighed as he leaned against the bench. Brian absently toyed with the cap of his bottle, brow furrowed.

Jimmy said, “But, we can’t let that stop us.”

“No, we can’t,” Matthew murmured. He looked at his friends. “I called Eli before I left. He says we’re ready to go.”

The tension in the air seemed to suddenly increase. Zachary shivered and murmured in a low voice his words sending tingles down the spines of the others.

“No going back now.”

Matthew shook his head as he downed his drink and fished his phone from his back pocket. He pushed a couple of buttons, keying in a message to Elijah nodding to Zacky as he did so.

“Nope. This is it. All or nothing…”

Brian held up his bottle and smirked, wryly, “To rock.”

“Indeed,” Matt said as he finished his own drink. He tossed the bottle into the bin and headed for the door. “Come on, we gotta get going.”

“Already?” Zacky frowned. The other three looked at him. Brian rolled his eyes as he put his bottle back in the fridge. Jimmy slapped his palms against his thighs.

Matthew nodded, “Yes. Now, Zack.” He glanced at Michelle who was about to walk out as well. “No point in sticking around here.” She nodded in agreement.

“We all have to work,” she commented before she left. Brian blew a kiss after her then looked at Zacky.

“We’re all anxious over this…but the sooner we get this out the better. Dad’s getting impatient too.” Brian pulled out his keys but Zacky finally animated himself and stalked to the door.

“I’ll drive.”

Jimmy clapped a hand to his shoulder as they made their way out; Brian and Matthew close behind. “Good show, bud…good show.”

* * * * *

“Doc? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Doctor Jones frowned over his glasses as he recognised the stocky young man that leaned in the doorway to his office.

“Daniel, you know I can’t discuss my sessions with anyone other than my patients.”

Dan grimaced. “You know what I want to know, then?”

“You’d be better served speaking to him yourself,” the doctor answered as he put away his files.

“Shads and I don’t usually see each other outside of work. Our…relationship changed once we left high school.” Dan shook his head. “I’m just worried about him.”

Doctor Jones smiled wryly, “As we all are. Do not think that General doesn’t see it. He has all the men’s best interests at heart.” He could tell that the young man didn’t quite believe him. And who would. General Eskino was not known for his compassion, but it was there. He wasn’t as cold as some would think.

“So, you think I should call him?” Dan asked.

The doctor nodded. “Or any of your mutual friends.”

Dan thought for a moment then said, “I could call Zack. He and I talk a lot. He’s always fixing my bike…”

Doctor Jones chuckled. “I think the Baker business has done well in this town.”

Dan rolled his eyes; they both knew that even if that were the case it wasn’t because of Zachary’s nous as a mechanic. It was all due to his father’s reputation and the fact that, at least, his younger brother was extremely proficient at what he did. Not that Dan personally would complain about Zacky’s service. When it came to the customer, the elder Baker knew how to keep them happy. And he was always the friendly face of the company. But, Dan had a feeling that his old high school buddy wanted more out of life. Not that that had any bearing whatsoever now.

He sighed and pulled his phone from his pocket. “Alright…I’ll call him. If there’s anything you can tell me?”

The doctor shook his head. “I am truly sorry. But, if the General’s not allowed to know, I can’t let you know.”

“Fair enough,” Dan nodded then punched in Zack’s number as he left the doctor’s office, hoping his friend could give him some answers.

I have a feeling a lot is going to be revealed from here on out. I know Matt has it all in hand but I still have a feeling a lot is going to be lost as we progress from here on out.

I hope he and Val are talking about what I think they're talking about. And hopefully he put his ego aside (or pride, perhaps?) and had it out with the doc. I know he doesn't want to, but hopefully he realized how important it is.

So this is it, the music begins in earnest now? That's so exciting.

I kinda love that everyone apart from Jimmy has ties to the Mayor or organisations that keep music down, it's going to make things so much more impactful when the guys do their thing.

@Kel Yeah...it's going to start getting real interesting now...

@Clare I didn't even do that deliberately....Jimmy just knows a lot...lol

I have the first sentence of the next chapter written...lol

I can't wait to see how this all plays out. I'm with Clare: I love that Jimmy has no ties he just knows what there is to know. He's such a smarty pants, lol! But it is going to be interesting to see how this all plays out. I know jobs are going to be lost, but I really hope music comes out ahead in the end!

And here it is, finally the next chapter


33
To be vulnerable is not a sin

A band. A motherfucking band. Dan just sat there, staring at the guys as they looked back at him.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he finally found his voice and glared at Matthew. The former T-One just blinked back at him, a lazy gesture. Dan groaned, “Do you realise how much shit you could get in for this?”

Mathew snorted, roughly, “We’re well aware of the consequences. Dan.” He looked at his friends. “We all know…especially Johnny, here…” His tone was meaningful.

Dan flinched and rubbed at his face his next statement apologetic. “That’s right. I’m sorry…no one can forget what happened to- back then.” He leaned back on the sofa he was perched on, crossing his arms.

Johnny made a small noise in the back of his throat and moved away from the group to grab his bass. Brian shook his head slowly in acknowledgement of Dan’s comment. Matthew sighed, Zacky echoing him. It was Jimmy who spoke up then.

“This came as a surprise to us, too. I mean, I thought I was crazy. But obviously Matt’s the one who’s lost a few marbles…”

Matthew snorted a laugh and shook his head. Dan rolled his eyes the ‘no shit’ obvious in his expression.

“It wasn’t ever meant to be anything but one song,” Brian murmured. “That’s all my dad was expecting.” He looked at Matthew who was looking serious again. “But, sometimes it’s not enough, right?”

“Right. What’s the point in just releasing a song recorded in a studio? We all know the technology is good enough that Papa Gates could just say he did it all himself.” Matt stood and walked over to his desk.

The six men were in the Sander’s basement. Dan’s call to Zacky had set back their plan to get over to Elijah’s because Matthew decided to take him into their confidence. He knew Dan wouldn’t talk, even if he made a show of being loyal to Jason Berry. His true loyalty had always been directed towards the former T-One. That was a no-brainer; Dan had never really gotten along with the other male. Not even when they were at school.

Matthew leaned back against the edge of the desk and looked at Dan. “I trust you.”

Dan nodded slowly, “You can be sure I won’t say shit. Not even if…” He left the sentence unfinished. Matt would know what he was referring to. Jimmy cracked it though.

“What? Not even if, what?” He leaned forward an expectant look on his face.

“Jimmy…don’t ask,” Matthew murmured running his hand through his hair; he had started to grow it out because Val had said it looked nicer, and also because he couldn’t be stuffed sticking to Creed protocol and shaving it every week. “It’s not worth worrying about.”

Jimmy scowled at him; Matthew continued to shake his head.

Dan decided to answer the elder male’s question, though knowing well enough how Jimmy could get when he got a bee in his bonnet over something.

“Torture is still used within The Creed.” He glanced at Matt as he said cautiously, “Shads knows this…there are some things we had to do…”

Matthew growled, cutting him off, “I never laid a hand on anyone.”

“No, but you must’ve ordered it sometimes?” Jimmy murmured. His friend sighed, nodding a little his expression tight. “Tough shit…”

“Yeah…” Matthew slapped his palm on the desk. “Enough. We need to go to Eli’s.” He didn’t want to talk about that anymore. It was too depressing a topic and not conducive to his state of being. He pulled his jacket on and slipped his Aviators into position as he looked across at the others.

Brian grinned and nodded to the bigger male as Dan fished his keys from his pocket and walked over to the door.

“Let’s do this,” the poet said, emphatically. His excitement was still edged with anxiety; however with all the rules they were breaking and the cost that would incur if they got caught, it was only reasonable.

The six men, Dan included, headed out the door to the large SUV parked in the driveway. It was Dan’s private ride, which he only ever used when he was home. He’d had the strange urge to get it out to give it a run and it was large enough to carry all six of them comfortably. Matthew slapped the panel as Dan unlocked the vehicle and motioned for them all to get in.

“Nice ride, Abell,” Zack commented. Dan just smirked as he got in the driver’s side.

“As long as it gets us to Eli’s safe and fast,” Matthew muttered as he got in the front passenger side. Jimmy grumbled something about ‘shotgun privileges’ as the others climbed in. Dan glanced sideways at his former commander, reading the tension around his eyes.

He asked in a low voice, “Worried, Shads?”

Matthew’s lips twitched at the corners. “Always.”

“Well,” Dan smiled grimly as he turned the ignition, “We’d better get this right then, hey?”

* * * * *

“You do realise if you go through with this, innocent people may die?”

Elijah scoffed a rough edge to his voice at his brother’s thinly veiled threat. “You’ve already decided he’s guilty. Isn’t that the real reason you demoted him?”

“I am not referring to him.”

“No, of course not.” Elijah grimaced as he glowered at his computer monitor. “You’re referring to his friends. One really shitty mechanic…a frustrated poet, a practically harmless renegade, and a young man who’s already been through the wringer.” He grunted, adding, “Not that you give a shit about their lives.”

The former Assassin frontman had not been surprised by the General’s supposedly unexpected call. Nor was he meant to be. Their rendezvous were always carefully planned, calculated for risk. No one outside a small circle of people, which now included Matthew and his friends, knew that Elijah was alive, and for Eskino it was extra important to be vigilant about when, where and how they met. At the moment, video-link was the safest option because the General could disguise it as an official call and no one would ever think anything was amiss.

Their calls were usually brief and about the banalities of normal life. Elijah sensed that his brother felt that he owed him that much since he’d single-handedly prevented his execution. However he hadn’t felt any real gratitude until now. Bit hard to feel thankful for one’s life when all one’s friends were deceased.

It were as if his brother had read his mind because the General said in exasperation, “For God’s sake, Eli. This isn’t like back then. I only managed to save you because I begged and promised you were no threat. I mean…it’s not like you were trained for the service.”

Eskino’s voice held a vulnerability that no one in public ever heard. But, Elijah heard it, loud and clear even through his old static-filled speakers. He wasn’t in his main office he was in a small concealed room that none but he was allowed to access. Even Melissa was not permitted in there. This was his private space and the only place where the General of the Creed could contact him freely without threat of detection. Hence the outdated equipment.

Elijah sighed, “So, that’s the problem. It’s because he is which means saving him is beyond your means?”

“Or his friends.” The General’s voice was weary as if he held the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. “The Mayor would never allow it.”

Elijah leaned his elbows against the rickety old desk which had been in their family for years. The wood creaked as he gazed at the grim expression on his brother’s face.

“Elliott seems so…”

“Harmless?” Eskino laughed coldly. “Don’t be fooled by him. He’s the main reason the Creed still exists. That Senator was an ancestor of his.”

“Damn it, Peter…all the more reason for this to go ahead.” There was silence after his statement. It stretched for an interminable time where he sat fiddling with a pen while the General shifted his considerable weight in his chair the squeaking sound reaching Eli’s ears.

Finally after time crawled passed Eskino said, finality to his tone, “I can’t deal with this, Eli. Do whatever you think is right, just know,” he paused to clear his throat then continued in a hard voice, “Just know I cannot support you in this.”

Elijah growled reaching forward to hit the escape button on his keyboard but not before snapping angrily, “Then don’t. Just do your damned job.”

The wounded expression on his brother’s face registered but not soon enough for him to change his mind about ending the call. He had to process the conversation and he knew he didn’t really have time for that especially when Melissa started to page him on his phone. He hit the escape button just as his brother was trying to tell him something, or make some final admonishment. Elijah wasn’t interested in hearing it. He cut the connection and pulled the plug on the old computer before getting up and stalking out of the room almost running into Melissa who was coming down the corridor. Looking for him no doubt.

“Sir, they’re here.” She didn’t seem too fazed by his confused state. Then again he was often like that after his discussions with his brother. He was always conflicted. On the one hand he was grateful he still lived and that Eskino was instrumental in that, but on the other, he was resentful of the hold his brother had over the people of New Huntington. They feared him, feared the Creed, and that did not sit well with Elijah, particularly because he knew that wasn’t what his brother was really about. He shook himself as he cast those thoughts aside and smiled at his assistant.

“Thank you, better get to work, hey?” With those words the two of them fell in a comfortable silence as they headed for the studio.

* * * * * *

Jason looked up and blinked as he registered the ponderous form of his superior officer leaning against the doorframe to his office. General Eskino looked anxious, which lately had been the norm, though it hadn’t been as obvious before.

“Sir?” Jason stood to salute him. Eskino waved him back to his seat and came over to ease himself down in the chair in front of the desk.

“Just came to have a chat.”

Jason blinked. General Eskino did not have ‘chats’ with his soldiers. Not even the commanding officers. Something had to be wrong. He waited, though, for the General to speak first.

Eskino looked hard at his new T-One then finally said, “Tell me about your friendship with Matthew.”

Jason blinked again. Hadn’t they already done that? But then it dawned on him; he’d only really asked about the whole temper thing, nothing more. He didn’t know where to start, though. How was he supposed to explain the years when they first became friends? It was so raw now, especially now that his brother was dead, by Matthew’s hand no less. Eskino obviously sensed his reticence because he spoke up again, his voice softer than was the norm.

“How about you tell me what you were feeling after he carried out your brother’s execution?”

Jason gave a light snort. That was definitely the right question to ask, wasn’t it? But, wasn’t that what the shrink had been asking him this past month. He hadn’t told him, so why would he tell Eskino?

“I don’t…” He shook his head. “Betrayed?”

“Are you asking me?” Eskino enquired mildly. Jason rubbed at his temples; he wouldn’t normally answer such a loaded question. However, nothing seemed normal right now, especially this ‘chat’ with the General.

He sighed, a heavy sound. “No. That’s how it is.”

“You do realise, I ordered him to do it.” Eskino grimaced. “It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make. But, it was necessary, due to the circumstances.”

Jason shot him a look of confusion. “Sir?”

“That’s what I really came to speak to you about.”

Jason nodded slowly as he thought to himself that he knew that this was not just some random ‘chat’. The General always had a reason for everything he did or said. He sat back and indicated with a nod that he was listening.

Eskino cleared his throat gruffly, “This is becoming too personal an issue for me. So, I’m transferring all responsibility of this particular case to you.”

“Pardon?” Jason stared at his commander wondering whether he’d heard correctly. He couldn’t have, it was too unexpected, too…weird. But he had to put voice to it, just in case he wasn’t hearing things. “You’re putting me directly in charge?”

“Yes. I can’t trust myself to not be biased.”

The General narrowed his gaze, as he observed the warring emotions on the young man’s face. Jason was evidently shocked by his statement. It would indeed seem out of the blue for the young T-One. The General never spoke of his personal issues with the job he did. Just as Shadows kept his emotions locked tight inside, he did the same. They were in fact very similar in that regard. And then the fact that he would admit that it was too personal. Jason didn’t quite understand that statement, but he wasn’t one to question the General’s reasons.

Eskino said softly, “This doesn’t leave this room, Commander. Officially I’m taking leave as I’m long due for a holiday. But…unofficially…”

Jason swallowed hard, finishing his superior’s thought for him. “You’re taking yourself out of the mix.”

Eskino nodded and looked across the desk to a framed picture on the wall. It was a photo of the Command team, several years old because Shadows was there in peak form as TaskerOne. His gaze in the official photo was stern, implacable and held a resolve that intimidated a lot of people. And the thing was Eskino still knew the former T-One was a force to reckon with. Still, he figured if anyone could confront him it would be Jason Berry, Shadows’ former 2IC.

He sighed, returning his gaze to his new T-One. This would be a big test for him, to take complete control of an assignment. Especially one that was so loaded. After all it wasn’t only personal to him; it would be for Jason as well. However, he felt that the fact that betrayal cut deep he wouldn’t have to worry about the younger male’s ability to do his job. Unlike Matthew, Jason was calm, controlled in everything he did. He didn’t have to deal with a hot temper.

“So, Berry…that’s me done here. You know what you have to do.”

Jason rose and saluted again as the General stood and exited the office the door clicking softly shut behind him.

*That* was worth staying awake for!!

Wow...I can't tell if the General is having a change of hear or what. And putting Jason in charge? I know it's a conflict of interest for the General, but what about Jason? Sure he's pissed about his brother, but Shads is still his friend.

Ohhhh...the plot thickens. I cannot WAIT to see where this goes!

*off to bed*

Sweet dreams Glad it was worth waiting up for . Took me a while to finish that chapter.

Finally, an update Bit nervous about this one. Not sure if it feels too disjointed or not.

So, here it is


34
Personal Trainer

“And now we cross to the Mayor who is about to make his first speech of the campaign, Elliott?”

Tal Cooperman’s voice caught Matthew off guard as the radio blared in Eli’s studio. Jimmy looked up from where he was with Brian scribbling out chords. Zacky set down the guitar he had borrowed from Elijah and Johnny leaned over his bass, listening intently. Matthew frowned and reached forward to turn it up.

“Thank you, Tal. Well, I would like to thank all of my voters for listening in. Today, with my lovely assistant, Valary Sanders, we unveil to you our promise for the future of New Huntington. If I win, I promise to you that we will bring you more security, more confidence in the local government that we can deliver on our promises.”

Zacky scoffed, “Broken promises more like.”

“Shhh,” Johnny elbowed him to be quiet. Matthew cast a grim look at his friend then turned back to the radio.

Elliott’s voice took on a hard edge, “I swear that the crackdown on illegal activity will increase and we will ensure the peace of mind this city deserves. The Creed under my auspices has already had a change of leadership personnel…Jason Berry has taken over as TaskerOne-”

Matthew growled low in the back of his throat, a wounded sound. Dan moved forward fast to shut the radio off, glancing sharply at him.

“You don’t need to hear that, Shadows.”

“Piss poor that he drags Val into it,” Brian muttered, roughly.

“She does work for him,” Jimmy commented.

Matthew growled again and swivelled on his chair, glaring at his friends. “Don’t talk about that. We need to work on this.”

Jimmy grinned as he held up the paper he was writing on. “Yeah, we figured out the chord arrangement. Wanna hear it?”

“Let’s hear it,” Matt said with a smile as he settled back in his chair.

This was what he wanted, to get into the music and forget about The Creed, and all the crap that went with that. That was behind him, for now, and he didn’t want to be reminded of all the stuff that had happened in the past month or so. It was tough enough having to talk it through with Val and the shrink – he was still seeing him - he didn’t need to think about it in his down time. And the fact that he was still working at The Creed…that was something he would have to change at some stage as well. Though the thought of handing in his resignation made him sick to the stomach.

“Matt? You even listening?” Zacky nudged his friend on the shoulder bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry…” Matthew looked over at Jimmy and Brian; the latter had his guitar out and was slowly going over the chords. The mechanic just shook his head and turned to watch his friends.

Jimmy tapped out a rhythm as Brian started getting into the groove and Matthew found himself joining in as he hummed a soft tune beneath the beat.

“Like that?” Jimmy asked after a moment as Brian paused and glanced at the others. Matthew nodded as he got to his feet and approached them.

“Sounds good, I was thinking, though we need to make it lift a little at the end there.” He grabbed a pen and leaned over the notes, scribbling a few marks over the chords. “Try that.” He stepped back next to Zacky and smiled lazily.

Brian screwed up his face but played the modification to a chorus of approval from all who were present. Even Dan, who didn’t really know much of the ins-and-outs of music, was impressed.

“When’re you showing this to PG?” Elijah asked after Brian and Jimmy had finished running through the track. He had been quietly watching from the chair in front of the sound desk just listening to the friends’ discussing the music.

Matthew rolled his head on his shoulders and murmured, “When do you think we should?”

“Soon as possible. His first campaign announcement is this afternoon.” The older male leaned forward on his chair. “Even a rough demo will be enough for a first run.”

Brian nodded as he set his guitar aside. “Well, we can definitely give Dad that. Shads says he already demo’d this one out, right?” He looked at his friend, who gave a tight nod. He had roughed out a very quick track of the song, which he’d called Tension because he’d needed to get it out of his system. “So, while we work on it and the others…we can pass it over to him…just as a taste.”

Zacky frowned. “You sure we should risk it?” They all looked at him. He rubbed at his chin as he said, “I mean once it’s out there, it’ll be like we’ve painted huge ass targets on our foreheads.”

Jimmy grinned hitting his cymbals with a crash. “Let them try to keep us down!”

Matthew snorted, “Papa Gates won’t reveal the writers of the song until we’ve finished.” Zacky relaxed at that piece of information and allowed a small smile. Matthew slapped him on the back and smirked. “You can’t seriously have been worried?”

The mechanic jerked away from him and glared at him. “Yeah, actually, I am. Someone’s gotta stay realistic here. If we get caught…” He didn’t finish the thought as he looked away from his friend’s direct gaze.

Matthew sighed and squeezed his friend’s shoulder gently in acknowledgement. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was just as anxious. Still, he knew how careful they had to be. It definitely would not end well if they were caught. He focussed his attention on the others as Dan had started asking Jimmy whether there was anything he could do to help.

Jimmy smirked at the shorter male. “Yeah, cover our asses.”

Matthew rolled his eyes and came to his colleagues rescue. “We’re not going to ask you to risk your position, Dan.”

Dan swivelled his sharp gaze to him, eyebrow lifted. “Me being here is bad enough, Shads. I feel like I should at least be of some help.”

Jimmy grinned leaning over to poke his thickly muscled arm. “You could be our personal trainer. I know Zacky needs to be whipped into shape.”

Zacky glanced up at his friend’s sly dig but surprisingly just grinned. “Yeah, and you’re not any fitter, you fucking rake.”

Matthew cocked an eyebrow at their banter, a serious expression on his face. His friends stopped what they were doing to look at him.

“What is it?” Brian asked.

“Sounds like a good idea. If we had to run…how far do any of you actually think you’d get?”

Jimmy flushed and looked away a strange light flickering in his eyes; Brian grumbled something about ‘get away cars’ and Zacky answered, his lips flattening in a hard line, “I’d probably collapse in a heap.”

Matthew nodded and smirked at Dan. “There you go, Abell. Now you’ll be useful.”

Dan laughed lightly, sensing the tension decrease a little. Elijah stood and smiled slightly.

“Perhaps I could join.”

Dan blinked at the elder male. “Sir?”

Elijah chuckled tapping the tip of his finger against the side of his nose. “I may be an old man, but I aim to stay fit.”

“You’re not old,” Matthew protested. Elijah gave him look.

Jimmy piped up, “Old in body, young in heart.”

“Trust you to say that,” Matthew muttered as he pulled out his phone, which was vibrating violently in his pocket. “Shit…”

Dan glanced at him, noting the tight expression on his face. “What?”

Matthew growled, “JB wants to see me. This can’t be good.”

Dan stood. “I’m coming too.” The former T-One made to argue but Dan shook his head. “Don’t argue, Shads…” Matthew shut his mouth tight then nodded before turning to the others.

“Guys, I gotta head back to barracks…I’ll come back as soon as I can.” He looked at Brian. “Try and get a copy of the demo to PG by the end of today, call me if you need anything.” Brian nodded and then went back to his guitar. Matthew looked at Johnny, grimacing but said nothing just turned and clapped a hand to Zacky’s shoulder. “Don’t worry too much…and…I’ll call Val on my way.” The mechanic’s lips twisted in a wry smile, but the warmth in his eyes showed Matthew that he was not really worried about that anymore.

“Go. We’ll still be here when you get back.”

Matthew nodded then headed out, acknowledging Melissa with a raised eyebrow as she was about to walk into the studio with refreshments. She flashed a knowing smile at him which he returned with a dark look as he exited Eli’s grand residence. He had a fleeting thought that he really should talk to Elijah’s personal assistant, find out what was going inside that head of hers since those riots. But, then the message from Jason forced its way back into his frontal lobes as he stalked to Dan’s truck.

We need to talk. This is not a request. Be here in an hour. JB.

The fact that he still signed his texts as JB was quite maddening to say the least. It meant that Matthew was on edge because he had no idea what frame of mind he would be in.

“Shads?” Dan murmured once they were out on the highway and speeding back toward Huntington. Matthew’s hands tightened on the wheel and he grunted.

“What?”

“What you think he wants?”

“No clue,” Matthew said shortly. Dan sensed he didn’t want to talk about it so fell silent the rest of the trip back to the barracks.

* * * * *

Jason turned as he recognised the heavy tread that stepped into the office. Matthew stood just in the entrance, face impassive.

“You wanted to see me?” His voice was low and revealed no emotion. That unnerved Jason. He’d expected irritation, anger even but not this. But, then he didn’t really know why he was surprised by that. Aside from his temper bursting out every now and again, Matthew was usually very calm and in control. And ironically before his promotion, before his brother’s execution, Jason would have defended that point to the end. No more, though. That was over.

“Jonathan Seward.”

Matthew blinked slightly, surprise registering on his face. “What about him?” He obviously hadn’t expected to talk about him.

“I’ve spoken to the General and he says he needs to return to the Astor.” Jason looked expectantly at him for a reaction.

The bigger male actually blanched. “What? You can’t…” He trailed off, expression tightening, as he straightened his back and glowered at him. “You can’t be serious.”

Jason frowned at him. “You didn’t think him being with you would be permanent, did you? You know Eskino said it was only temporary.” Matthew shook his head and rans his fingers through his hair. “Good. He needs to be signed in by tomorrow night. You will inform him once I’ve finished speaking with you now.”

Matthew nodded as he attempted to wipe all expression from his face again. But, he was shocked and was unusually shaken.

He frowned then said, “It’s not been long enough and Eskino told me he would try to find a better solution.”

Jason looked hard at him. “Yes. Him returning to the Astor. His program has been altered, and that’s all you need to know.”

Matthew swore softly; Jason narrowed his gaze. “You forget yourself, Shadows.”

Matthew’s gaze hardened and he snapped in return, “I forget nothing, Berry. I will return Johnny to the Astor, but only if they promise to not put him in isolation.” He paused, eyes narrowing icily to gauge Jason’s response. He just stared at him non-plussed. Matthew’s lips twitched in a cold smile as he added, “Oh, and…fuck you, Jason. I am finished with the Creed.” And before Jason could respond and tell he hadn’t finished the bigger male spun on his heel and stormed out of the office.

Jason poked his head out of the office to see Matthew stomp passed a shocked Dan and several cadets who watched open-mouthed as the former TaskerOne left the building, not looking back as Jason hollered for him to come back.


* * * * *

“What the fuck was that, Shads?” Dan sounded angry. Matthew didn’t register as he floored the accelerator and tore out of the barracks parking lot. “For fuck’s sake, dude…you can’t quit!”

Matthew snarled, “I just did, Abell.”

“God…you’ll just make things worse.”

The former commander slammed on the brakes and pulled over into the dust and leaned over to open the passenger side door. “You don’t like it you can get the fuck out.” He pointed out to the side of the road. Dan blinked and looked into the cold eyes of the bigger man.

“Shads…”

“Go on. Be shitty somewhere else. I gotta get back and tell Johnny his stint of freedom is fucking over, how exactly do you think I feel about that?” There was just as much fury in his voice as was evident on Dan’s face and suddenly the soldier felt awful. He’d heard what Jason had said regarding Johnny, and he felt a twinge of guilt. He’d known that the General and Jason had been talking about that for the last couple of weeks. But, he knew he couldn’t speak of it to Matthew. The anger bled from his features and he slumped back on his seat.

“Forgive me, you shocked me, is all…”

Matthew didn’t soften, just continued to glare at him. Dan looked at him then suddenly smiled a thought coming to him.

“You quit, right?”

Matthew blinked, eyebrow lifted. “Yes, that’s what I said.”

“Well, then you don’t have to tell Johnny anything.”

“Oh, so now you’re encouraging me to break the law.”

Dan snorted, “You don’t need any help from me, buddy.” Matthew stared at him and then realising the absurdity of the situation cracked a big grin.

“Fuck me…you’re right.” He groaned, shaking his head as his eyes lit up and chased away the coldness that had threatened to consume him. “I’m sorry.”

“Ah, don’t be. I wasn’t much better.” He gave a wan smile. Matthew smiled back then sighed as he returned his gaze to the road. Dan yawned and leaned over to turn the radio up as they headed back to Elijah’s the mournful tones of a saxophone filling the cabin. And how fitting was that.

o.O Shads QUIT? I mean, I kind of saw it coming, but still...wow. You have a knack for the art of surprise, woman! Well done !!

Now, to see if Val strings him up by his balls for this one...

No ball stringing lol



Here's the next chapter


35
Strawberries

Strawberries were in season and Val was having a field day with the ten punnets Matthew had bought from the markets. Incidentally he’d kept a punnet to himself and was busy eating them while going over his resignation papers.

Val still couldn’t believe her husband had actually quit from the Creed. That was unheard of. No one, no one ever left the Creed. Ever. Not unless they were killed in service or were too old. Matthew was the first to resign out of hand. She paused on the fruit salad she was preparing for the big campaign luncheon to check up on her husband.

Matthew sat at the kitchen table pen in hand, doodling absently on a napkin while reading over his papers. His gaze lifted as Val sat opposite him, leaning her elbows against the top of the table. He smiled slightly at her.

“How’s prep going for the lunch?”

“Slow. How’s that going?” She nodded at his paperwork. Matthew scratched at his hairline with the end of his pen and scowled a little.

“You’d think resigning would be simple…” He sighed. “James said he’s coming around in a few to speak to me.”

Val tilted her head to the side. “The shrink has to get in on it?”

Matthew snorted. “First time anyone’s ever quit? Yeah, guess they don’t want to set a precedent.”

“So, they want to figure out what’s wrong with your head so they can prevent it happening again?” She was irritated by the thought of that. Her husband shrugged as he scribbled his signature on the bottom of the last page. “That’s a bit sad…”

“Sad is not the word, Val,” Matthew muttered. He popped another strawberry in his mouth, chewing slowly. Then he picked out another particularly juicy one and turned to face her. “Here, open your mouth.” She blinked at him; the corners of his mouth curved in a mischievous grin. “I want to feed you. Looks like you could do with some sweetening up.”

Val cocked an eyebrow at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Matthew held the strawberry out to her. “You haven’t stopped all morning…all week.”

“Neither have you…whatever it is you’re up to.” Val pursed her mouth in a severe line.

He sighed putting the strawberry back in the container. “Val.”

“Yes? You know if you told me what you and your friends are doing-”

“It’s illegal.” The words dropped like stones between them and shock registered on her face. Matthew just shook his head and returned to his paperwork, effectively ending their conversation. Val wasn’t having any of it. She pulled his paperwork from his hands and leaned in close.

“What the hell do you mean ‘it’s illegal’?” Her voice was sharp.

Matthew looked at her, expression guarded. “I mean if we get caught we could be charged for it.”

Val stared at him, incredulity mixed with her surprise. She sat down again and blinked rapidly, shaking her head. She couldn’t get her head around the idea that her husband who seemed to be so against any form of illegal activity was engaging in that very kind of thing.

“What exactly…?”

Matthew frowned, brow creasing as he was obviously considering whether he should answer her or not. She bit at the inside of her cheek then looked down at her hands, feeling a little miffed.

“Please…I just want to understand…”

He sighed. “I can’t tell you. Not for a little while…”

Val looked oddly at him. “So…you will tell me?”

His lips twisted slightly. “Yeah. Just not yet.” Val seemed to visibly relax at his promise and she leaned forward and smiled at him. He raised his eyebrows at her then realised he had picked up a strawberry without noticing and rolled it between his fingers. “You want this?”

Val smirked, “You said you wanted to feed me.”

Matthew chuckled and fed her the strawberry, licking his lips as she slowly took a bite. Red juice trickled down her chin and he shifted closer so he could lean in and kiss her slowly, catching the drops. Val shivered at the contact and leaned in closer.

“Oh shit…I’m sorry…”

They jumped apart at Johnny’s voice; Matthew swore under his breath as Val giggled softly a hint of pink colouring her cheeks. They had almost forgotten the younger man was still in their house. Matthew hadn’t managed to broach the subject of his return to the prison as of yet. He didn’t have the heart to tell him and so had left it alone for the time being. Though that probably wasn’t such a good thing since he had to be back by that night.

“Johnny…you have the worst timing…” Matthew growled. Johnny shrugged apologetically then nodded back over his shoulder.

“Doctor James just pulled up outside. Recognise the Creed symbol on his car…”

Val sighed as she stood and returned to the kitchen bench. “You’d better go talk with him, love…I’ll finish my fruit salad.”

Matthew nodded then frowned at Johnny, “I need to talk to you after.”

Johnny blinked at him, “About what?”

“About you,” Matthew mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen, and headed for the front door.

* * * * *

Doctor James crossed his legs at the ankle and looked steadily at Matthew who sat opposite with his head tilted back.

“You want to explain to me, Matthew?”

“What’s there to explain?” Matthew’s tone was hard.

“Why did you quit.”

“Why do you think?”

“Matthew, this won’t help you if you’re just going to be antagonistic.”

Matthew sighed finally meeting the counsellor’s calm gaze. He didn’t answer his question straight away, though. He just frowned at him and said, “I can’t take Johnny back to the Astor…”

The doctor looked a little taken aback by his confession. “Was that what Berry instructed you to do.”

“Yeah…but, I can’t do it. Johnny’s doing really well and I can’t be responsible for ruining that.” Matthew paused, rubbing at his forehead.

Doctor James’ eyes narrowed as he realised something. “Was that part of the reason you quit?” Matthew scrunched up his face in consternation. The doctor clarified, “You were sick of being told to do things you didn’t want to do?”

Matthew averted his gaze his eyes drifting to the window that looked out on the front yard. The good doctor waited patiently, knowing from experience that if given time and space the man in front of him would open up. Eventually, he dragged himself from wherever his mind had drifted and he looked at the doctor with a weary expression etched into his features.

“That’s part of it.” He shifted on his seat. “Mostly because I felt like the biggest frickin’ hypocrite.” He shook his head angrily. “How could I keep doing what I was doing when I’m totally against it?”

“You weren’t when you started, though?”

“No, no I wasn’t. But, people change, right doc?” Matthew raised both his eyebrows at Doctor James. “I mean, even Eskino…” He trailed off and looked away again.

“Yes, even Eskino,” James murmured, wondering what the younger man meant by that statement. Though, obviously he wasn’t going to explain it, the expression in his eyes told the good doctor not to go there.

Matthew straightened his shoulders a determined look coming over his face.

“So, that’s really all I can say…I’ve told you pretty much everything else before.” And that much was true.

Over the last month or so during their sessions, Matthew had finally told the doctor everything he had told Valary. How he had felt over Matt’s execution – numb, devastated; how he felt about his demotion – angry, yet strangely relieved; how he felt about Jason replacing him – coldly indifferent, but with a certain amount of betrayal toward his former friend and colleague. He’d laid out all the nasty details of his inner workings and he actually felt the better for it.

The doctor nodded slowly, scribbling something on the pad that he rested on his knee. “I have one further question.”

Matthew tilted his head. “Ask it.”

“Now that you’ve quit? What will you do with your time?”

The big male smirked lazily, the corners of his lips twisting upwards. “Now, that would be telling, doc…but I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.” His eyes danced as they lit up with a mischievous light and the doctor couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, as long as you are keeping yourself busy, Matthew. You will work through this time of your life. Perhaps you and your wife?”

Matthew caught at what he was hinting and smiled softly. “I’m planning on spending more time with Val. I owe her big time…”

“Good. That will be good for both of you.” Doctor James closed his notepad and unfolded himself from his seat. “That completes our session for today. If you can show me your papers I will sign them and you can forward them to the Creed to finalise your resignation.”

Matthew climbed to his feet and grabbed his papers where they were on the coffee table, handing them over. The doctor read each section, scribbled a few notes then scrawled his signature at the bottom of each page.

“Done,” James smiled as he passed them back to him. Matthew rolled the documentation in his hands a nervous gesture, but smiled faintly in gratitude.

“I will see you out, doc…”

The doctor nodded then paused regarding him. “This is highly irregular, but if you are ever in need of my services just call my cell number. I will see you free of charge.”

Matthew blinked at Doctor James’ offer, moved by his compassionate gesture. “Thank you, James….I appreciate it.”

The doctor smiled shaking his hand firmly. “Good luck with everything, Matthew.”

“I don’t believe in luck, Doctor,” Matthew murmured as he showed him to the door.

Doctor James looked seriously at the young man before him and smiled kindly, as he said in reply, “No, I don’t suppose you do.” He paused then smiled slightly, “By the way, strawberries are in season. I noticed you were eating some.”

Matthew chuckled. “You should try the ones from the market, doc. A strawberry a day keeps the doctor away."

Doctor James smiled softly as he stepped outside and bid him good day. “That’s not quite how the saying goes, Shadows.”

“No, but it’ll do for me. Good bye, doc.”

“And a good bye to you.”

I wonder now if Matt will have to take Johnny back. I hope not, I hope he can find some way around that. If not, I think Matt's going to crack, I really do.

But I'm glad he quit the Creed; it's going to be better for him in the long run.

Well I think this may just answer your question re Johnny


36
Beretta

Johnny stared hard at the top of the kitchen table jaw set hard as he tried to come to terms with what Matthew had just told him.

“So, you’re telling me I have to go back to the Astor?”

Matthew nodded slowly face expressionless.

“Shit…I can’t…” He shook his head. “I can’t go back there…” He squeezed his left hand into a fist, staring at it then he rocked back on his chair to glare at the bigger male. Matthew sighed, taking the seat opposite. He didn’t say anything, though, just sat there looking back at Johnny.

“Damn it, Shads,” Johnny groaned dropping his head in his hands.

Matthew exhaled roughly. “I’ve been given my orders.” He grimaced. “But…” he paused as he waited for Johnny to lift his head.

“But?” Johnny met his guarded look with a bemused one of his own.

His lips twitched. “I quit yesterday.”

“You quit?” Incredulity seemed to be the order of the day.

“Yeah, I resigned effective today.” Matthew shrugged then smiled softly. Johnny frowned at him not quite understanding why that mattered to him. But when the former Creed commander kept smiling it dawned on him. Like a light bulb flickering to life in his mind it came to him.

“You don’t have to follow orders anymore?” The hint of hope in Johnny’s voice caused Matthew’s smile to broaden. “Wow…so that means…?”

Matthew shook his head and slapped an emphatic hand on the table-top. “Not to say the Creed won’t come after you. But, I’ll not be the one to shunt you back there.”

Johnny seemed to visibly relax as he set the feet of his chair back onto the floor. It felt like he’d dodged a bullet there. He laughed softly but then frowned a little.

“They’ll be expecting me, though…and when I don’t show…”

Matthew growled, “They’ll have to get past me.”

“Shit, Shads…”

“Before you tell me I could get into trouble, I’m already in so fuckin’ deep that this is just a blip in comparison.”

Johnny rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement. “True. Still…”

Matthew’s face hardened. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll deal with the fallout.” He clenched his jaw then mumbled to himself, “You can take the man out of the Creed…but you can’t take the Creed out of the man.” He went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of Jack. “Drink?”

“Thanks.” Johnny propped his elbows on the table. Matthew set a bottle down in front of him then parked his own arse back on his chair. The younger male took a long drink then said, “So…”

“I’m sending you home.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Matthew realised he was screwed. Really fucking screwed. He was definitely piling on more and more reasons to charge himself with treason let alone the Creed getting up in his dial, and that was a sobering thought. His actions would have far reaching consequences, but he had weighed up the positives against the negatives and he knew he wouldn’t change what he had done, what he was doing.

Johnny stared at him. “Whoa…don’t you think that’s a bit risky?”

“Risky or not. You need to see your parents again.” Matthew folded his arms. “I owe you that.”

“You don’t owe me shit. The fact that you’d risk everything to keep me out of that hole is enough.”

A dark look crossed Matthew’s face. “Well, I’m going to call them.” He got up and left the kitchen before Johnny could make another protest.

* * * * *

Frank leaned back against his chair eyes fixed on the phone which had been silent for the past half an hour. He couldn’t even begin to explain what he was feeling after Matthew Sanders had called. His son. His youngest son was coming home. It was too hard to even believe.

He glanced over at his wife who was quietly preparing Johnny’s old room. Mary Seward had always been hopeful that her son would come home sooner, rather than later, even though they both new he’d been sentenced to a long stint in jail. Frank was well aware that young Sanders was taking a massive risk in what he was doing. But, he wasn’t going to ask questions.

Johnny was coming home….that was all that mattered.

* * * * *

Matthew slapped a cartridge into his gun and swung it up lining up the sight with the target on the wall. Jimmy raised his eyebrows at his friend watching as he gazed calmly along the length of the barrel.

Zacky grimaced. “Do you really think this necessary?”

“Yes,” Matthew responded tightly. He jerked his head at his friend. “If they come looking for Johnny and find him gone, I need to be prepared.”

“For what? A shoot out?” the mechanic snorted in disgust. “Come on, dude…like that’s going to happen.”

Matthew pegged his friend with a hard look. “You do realise if they find out I’ve disobeyed a direct order they could arrest me.”

“Oh, so you’ll just kill them to prevent that?” Zacky sounded angry now. Jimmy shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

The three of them were at a private shooting range about a mile from Elijah’s residence. Brian had remained behind with the elder male and his father who had finally come around to see how they were going. Jimmy and Zacky had followed an on-edge Matthew to the shooting range where he was putting his Beretta M9 through its paces. The standard military issue firearm had been in his possession since he’d joined the Creed and it was the one weapon he was permitted to keep when he finished. It was for personal use not just official duties.

Matthew, ignoring Zacky’s irritated question, replaced his ear protectors and aimed at the target and fired off a round. The pistol kicked in his grip as the bullet buried into the target inches from the bullseye. He swore softly and shifted his stance firing another shot this one finding the centre of the target with a satisfying bang.

“Well?” Zachary snapped as Matthew finished testing his gun and removed his head gear.

Matthew scowled. “Well what?” He took apart his weapon and began to clean it so he didn’t have to look at him.

“You’re willing to go all gung-ho macho soldier man if they try to arrest you?” Jimmy asked his tone unusually sober, speaking before Zacky could continue berating their friend. The mechanic made a disbelieving noise. Jimmy shook his head at him as Matthew lifted cold eyes to them.

“I’ll do what I have to do,” his voice was emotionless. But his face was strained as if he was trying to hold back all his inner feelings.

Jimmy sighed, shaking his head, “And you call me crazy?”

Matthew’s lips twisted in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, guess we’re even on that.”

“Dammit, Shads,” Zacky groaned and slapped a hand against the wall. “I can handle this whole band shit…but…the thought of you…”

“The thought of killing anyone shits me too, Zack,” Matthew said weariness in his voice. He tucked his pistol in his holster and hitched up his pants. “But, if I have to do it…”

The mechanic glowered at him. Jimmy sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. Silence fell between them as Matthew gathered his gear and waved to the security guard who had let them in, indicating that they were ready to leave. They left the building without another word to each other, walking out into the crisp night air.

It was several hours since Matthew had dropped Johnny home to his parents’ place and he could still picture the scene that had unfolded before him. The shock on Frank’s face; the love on Mary’s as she took her son in his arms; the overwhelming sense of relief and joy on Johnny’s. It had made Matthew decidedly uncomfortable but at the same time unbearably happy to see them reunited properly. And now here he was walking out of the shooting range, ensuring he was prepared to face the consequences of his actions.

He sighed and glanced at his friends, realising how grateful he was for them. The fact that they were there humbled him, it truly did. They could have left him to his own devices. Could’ve turned down his offer, told him it was too dangerous. But he knew, in their hearts, they wanted the same thing he did. Of course, Jimmy wasn’t such a hard sell, he had his own dreams. Zacky, though, he was always the one to be more cautious about everything.

As if the mechanic realised his thoughts were on him, Zacky cleared his throat gruffly and said, “I’m on your side, you know that, right?”

Matthew blinked and nodded slightly his hard expression dissolving. “Yeah. I know.” And wasn’t that the theme of the moment. He smiled faintly as he walked over to Zacky’s truck.

“Really,” Zacky muttered, “gonna stick to your side the whole way…”

Jimmy added with a smirk, “You won’t be able to get rid of us.”

Matthew snorted and rolled his eyes. “Oh, I could get rid of you if I needed to.”

“That’s real fucking cold,” Zacky said, but he laughed as he said it. Matthew smirked in response then jumped in the front passenger side. Jimmy squeezed in next to him as Zacky climbed into the driver’s side.

“I could, y’know,” Matthew reiterated as he crossed his arms over his chest. Zacky just pegged him with a ‘what-the-fuck-ever’ look as he started the truck and pulled out of the range’s parking lot.

“You need us too much,” Jimmy pointed out as the truck bellowed and lurched as the tyres hit the asphalt. Matthew couldn’t argue with that one, so he didn’t. He just shrugged and looked out the window.

He did need his friend’s around him. Had always needed them. Even when he was pushing them away. However, those days were over. He had to keep his friend’s close…and his adversaries even closer. He scowled at that last thought.

“Hey, Zack?”

“Yeah?” Zacky was about to make the turn off to Elijah’s property.

Matthew chewed at his bottom lip. “I want to go see Eskino.”

“Excuse me?” Zacky hit the brakes bringing the truck to a jarring halt on the side of the road. He stared at his friend as if he’d grown another head. “What the fuck for?”

Matthew shook his head unsure of how to explain himself. He just knew he had to see the General. “V. Just…hang a left here.”

Jimmy joined the mechanic in staring hard at him, but after several moments of stunned silence, Zacky spun the truck into a U-turn so they were pointed in the direction of the other side of town. Matthew sighed and leaned back in his seat as Zacky drove, the only sound in the cabin that of his friend muttering something about shooting him and funerals. And didn’t that just do wonders for his mood?

He wants to go see Eskino? WHY? What's he going to do? *slaps Matt* You goofy boy. I'm just glad Johnny got to go home, no matter how long ti's for.

And here it is May answer your question...or may make you ask more...


37
Will the real Peter Eskino stand up?

“I really don’t know, Gary. You should ask him yourself. I know, I tried…no…there’s nothing I can do. He seems determined to go through with it.”

Peter sat in his small den on the phone to his oldest school friend, Gary Sanders. He hadn’t spoken to him for a while, but they always tried to catch up at least once or twice a year. Since Gary and his beautiful wife, Kim, had left New Huntington to follow their daughter across the country they had lost contact and only in the last year or so had they picked it up again. This was partly due to the fact that Peter had begun to worry about their son, Matthew, and wanted to let the Sanders’ know. The other reason was that he felt he needed to reach out to the few friends he had before everything went to Hell.

And, judging by the sound of an unexpected vehicle pulling up in his driveway Hell was about to descend in the next few moments.

“Gary, I can’t promise you anything. But, I can tell you this. Matthew knows what he’s doing. And when you do return he’ll be there to welcome you home.” Peter glanced toward the front hall hearing the heavy, recognisable footsteps heading up the drive. “I have to go, I’ll call you next week same time? That’s cool. Take care, Gary.” He hung up, straightened his shirt and slowly made his way to the front hall just as the doorbell rang.

Opening the door, he smiled slightly as his visitors came into view. “Shadows, this is a surprise.” Though he didn’t sound surprised at all.

Matthew stood on the doorstep with two of his friends. The town’s famous mechanic and the young man who was always poking his nose into the city’s history archives. James, or something like that.

“Um, yeah,” Matthew rubbed at the back of his head. “Spur of the moment decision.”

Peter nodded as he stepped back giving them space to enter. He noticed that Matthew’s friends appeared nervous as if they really didn’t want to be there. Then again that wasn’t surprising. He was the General after all. Though he really didn’t feel like it at the moment.

“Please do come in. I was just about to have a drink.”

The mechanic, Zachary, muttered something about not being able to stay long; James just smiled blandly, blue eyes bright and wary. Matthew, calm as ever, nodded walking into the front hallway casing the place as if he were on the job. Old habits die hard, obviously. Then again it wasn’t as if he’d been out of the Creed for long. Days really.

“So,” Peter cleared his throat as they entered a large kitchen-dining area. “I heard from your father earlier.”

Matthew jolted slightly; the elder male noticed this only because he’d been watching him closely.

“You spoke to my dad?”

Peter nodded as he went to the fridge and took out a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels. Zachary lifted an eyebrow at him. He smiled and set them on the counter, leaving them there as an offering before returning his gaze to Matthew.

“Yes. You did know we went to New Huntington High together.”

“Uh…sure. Dad never really talked about school.” Matthew shrugged his shoulders taking one of the beers. “Shared something in common with me there.” He cracked it open but paused to swirl the contents in the bottle.

Peter smirked. “True, Gary was always trying to get out of things.” He added to James and Zachary, as way of an explanation, “I always backed him up. Got in a lot of trouble myself.”

Matthew raised his eyebrows finally allowing his expression to thaw a little. “You, sir?”

“Please, let’s not stand on ceremony here, Shadows.”

“I think Shads feels more comfortable calling you ‘sir’,” Zachary snapped, interrupting the tension that had increased since they had arrived. Peter shook his head and smiled almost sadly.

“Well, since he’s resigned I am no longer his superior officer.”

“Yes, but we’re civilians, it’s only polite,” Jimmy pointed out.

Peter smiled coolly at the tall male. “I doubt your friend cares too much about being polite to me after what I’ve put him through.”

“Yes, about that,” Matthew murmured. The atmosphere in the room tightened as he glowered at Peter. The General held up both his hands and sighed.

“You have questions. Ask away. I’m feeling…generous today.” Which was an understatement. Peter had his own secrets to tell or keep whichever way you wanted to look at it. And he felt that it was time some of them were aired. At least the ones that were relevant.

Matthew dragged his fingers through his hair, glancing at his friends who were staring at him expectantly.

“How’d you find out?”

“About Haner’s campaign?”

Matthew nodded. “About my part in it.”

Peter shook his head. “My brother.”

“Elijah?” Zacky exclaimed.

“Yes, Elijah. I presume he told you of our relationship, Mr Baker.” Peter opened a beer for himself and took a long drink. The mechanic grimaced as he leaned against the counter, but only tilted his head in acknowledgement. The General sighed setting his bottle down and looking at Matthew again. “It wouldn’t have been difficult for me to find out anyway.”

“True. So…I suppose that’s the real reason behind my demotion?”

Peter nodded. “I couldn’t leave you in the top position.” He wet his lips as he set his considerable weight on a stool next to the bench. “I have also abdicated my own responsibility. Berry is in control over this...”

Zacky muttered, “Chasing after us?”

The General pursed his lips. “The Creed has to do its job.”

“And what’re you going to be doing?” the mechanic asked, irritation evident in his tone. Matthew sipped at his beer and remained quiet allowing his friend to speak his mind. It was almost a relief that he didn’t have to face the General on his own.

Peter finished his beer and set it down on the bench next to him. “Me? I think I’ll go visit my brother and see what he’s up to. Maybe help him out with some renovations.”

Zacky lifted an eyebrow. Jimmy and Matthew glanced at each other. The idea of the General lifting a finger to do any kind of manual labour was laughable. His considerable size would put an end to the idea before he even stepped out of the house.

Peter smiled at their sceptical expressions. “Maybe not renovations.” He folded his arms. “But, he has a project he needs assistance with.”

“What project would that be?” Matthew asked, acidly.

“Matthew, let’s not pretend that I don’t know what you three are up to.” Surprisingly the General’s tone held no venom; he sounded almost resigned. And the fact that he’d used his first name for probably the first time, ever…

The former soldier’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you three and your other friends.” Peter narrowed his eyes. “Speaking of which, I received a memo from the Astor saying that Jonathan Seward has not returned.”

“Um…” Matthew didn’t know what to say to that one. What he’d done concerning Johnny was still too fresh in his mind,

“I know you took him to his parents. You do realise that dragging them into this could cause unwanted heartache.”

“I had thought of that…” he spoke into his bottle.

Peter cocked his head to the side, disbelief in his expression. “Really? Well, no matter. I told them to give him five days with his family and then he’ll have to return…unless…”

Matt blinked and looked at him hard. “Unless?”

“Unless you can think of some better idea,” Peter finished lightly.

Matthew’s eyebrows lifted high on his brow. “Excuse me?”

The General looked at him expression frank, “I said, unless you can think-”

“I heard you, sir…but…why would you even suggest that?”

“Yeah,” Zacky mumbled, annoyed. “Shouldn’t you be ordering him to send Johnny back?”

Peter smirked. “As I have just told you, I absolved myself of the responsibility. It’s up to Berry to decide the course of action to take.” He sighed, features softening. “And as it is, I don’t really want the lad to return to The Astor. It would kill him.” He looked at Matt. “And you. And I couldn’t…stomach that.”

Matthew stared incredulously at the General his mind chewing over what he had just spoken. The words repeated themselves in his head but made no sense whatsoever. His two friends’ cast sharp, equally surprised looks at each other and then Zacky spoke up, anger in his voice.

“What the fuck do you care? Why the fuck do you give a shit? You demoted him…humiliated him…made him execute our friend…and not just Luke.” He was actually stalking forward at the General and to the elder male’s credit he didn’t flinch. He stood and took the mechanic’s fury with aplomb.

He gave him a sad look as he replied. “I’ve lost friends in this as well, Mr Baker. Eli’s fellow band members…” He paused, vulnerability that he never exhibited appearing on his face. “They were my friends too.”

The thought that the General had friends was a strange one. Zacky stood still and blinked hard as the words flooded his mind. He shook his head, but he didn’t apologise for his stance. He was too angry. He knew Jimmy and Matthew were too. It was evident in the fact that Jimmy wasn’t smiling or making jokes, and the set to Matthew’s jaw.

“Still, doesn’t explain why you care,” Zacky said in a cold voice.

Peter nodded willing to acknowledge that point. But then he added, softly, “Your father, Matthew.”

“What about dad?” Matthew growled not liking the fact that the General had the nerve to mention him again.

“He was my best friend. Still is. If that helps clear anything up.”

Matthew shook his head and said roughly, “I want a proper explanation. And I’m quite willing to stand here all night if I have to.”

Peter blinked. “Well, then…let’s go somewhere more comfortable.”

Matthew seemed surprised by the fact that the General hadn’t tried to brush him off. “You mean you’ll actually talk?” He dug his fingers into his pockets as he suddenly looked uncertain.

The General lifted an eyebrow. “You want to know the truth, and I owe you. And considering I’m off duty and you…well, you quit, off the record? Yes.”

Matthew exhaled slowly then nodded. Then he glanced at Jimmy and Zacky. “You want to do this with me?”

Zacky rolled his eyes; Jimmy smiled for the first time clapping a hand to his shoulder in support.

“Of course, buddy.”

Matthew’s lips twisted slightly then he returned sharp eyes to the General. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

I can't figure out if Matt is stupid or smart here. I mean, so far, it seems this was the right thing to do. But I still have my doubts about this...and I really hope it turns out better than I think it will.