Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (Jimmy/Jacoby)

I'd like to think they can be more mature...though that might be a stretch for these two, lol! Sometimes, they impress me with how mature and grown up they can be...and then they're right back to being a couple of kids. It's going to be interesting to see how things go from here on out...

22

Holy hell. My kid just got kicked out of her first school. I don't know how to even begin to address this. I know that Jacoby and I need to find her a preschool asap, but where? We liked this preschool because it was close to home and they seemed to be handling her just fine. I just don’t know what to do with her, you know? She was so even tempered until she started school and then her behavior just became atrocious. She was getting into more trouble here and at school, but we thought it was just a toddler thing. I mean, she hasn’t been around a lot of kids before, outside of Edgar’s kids, and we’d prefer to have kept it that way. I’m more convinced now than before that I want to find a way to home school her but Jacoby won’t hear of it. He thinks that she just needs to try again and he’s determined to find another school for her.

Sadly, since there’s no preschool in Mondamin, we’re stuck with Omaha. Do you know how expensive schools in the city are? We cannot afford preschool in the city and since that’s in Nebraska, she won’t qualify for Headstart the way she did here; unless we can find a preschool in Council Bluffs and someone to take her. I just wish she hadn’t been so naughty and then we wouldn’t be in this situation.

“Jimmy, please go to sleep.”

I looked over at Jacoby, my eyes already adjusted to the dark, and sighed. “I can’t sleep. I’m too worried about Eliza’s situation.”

“Tomorrow’s Saturday and I’m off so we’ll do some looking around, okay? For now, you need to go to sleep and let your brain turn off for a bit.”

“I’ll try.”

I turned onto my stomach, which is fully healed now and tried to get myself to calm down. Jacoby is right, after all, we can talk about this in the morning and we have the entire weekend to make our decision. But we do need to find some place by Monday preferably.

“Sleep, Jimmy.”

I nodded, turning over once again. I need to sleep and forget about this little problem with my child. I mean, there has to be a preschool that will take her right? We’re not on the hook for the broken arm, at least, so that’s one less worry. I know how expensive stuff like that is, and I wasn’t looking forward to paying for it. The thing is, now that she’s done that, will she be allowed in another preschool again? This is serious behavior, after all.

“Jimmy.”

“Sorry.”

I just don’t know what to do, you know? Mom and dad have told me some stories of my childhood and the problems they had getting me into schools. I don’t want Eliza to go to three different kindergartens. I want to nip this problem in the bud so we don’t have that problem. I just don’t know what to do, that’s all.

“Come with me.”

I followed Jacoby downstairs, wondering what he wanted. I was almost asleep this time.

“Now, I know that Eliza’s situation has got you worried, but we have to stop thinking about it, okay? You’re tossing and turning is driving me nuts.”

I watched as Jacoby moved around the kitchen in the dark, able to navigate without a problem. The moon was full tonight and was shining directly into the living room, making spooky shadows of the furniture. I knew what Jacoby was doing, of course, as he poured some milk in a cup and then added just one single shot of nutmeg to it. Warm milk is his cure for insomnia no matter what your problem and it always works.

“Here. Now, drink that and we’ll go back to bed. I know we don’t have to work tomorrow, but we do have an infant who will be awake and demanding our attentions shortly.”

“I’d just make a bottle now, because in about five minutes, she’ll be up.”

“You drink your milk and I’ll get up with Priscilla this time. You’ve been up half the night with her.”

I nodded, though I was only up with her because I was already up. Now, with the warm milk in my system, I’m getting drowsy just in time for two cries to ring out. Don’t worry, it confused the hell out of me, too, until I realized one was Eliza. We both hurried upstairs, Jacoby heading into our room for Priscilla with the bottle and I into Eliza’s room. In the glow of her nightlight, I could see she was sitting up in bed, the dark purple comforter pushed to the end of the bed as she launched herself into my arms. I barely caught her, considering I wasn’t ready for her.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, as she sobbed into my shoulder. She’s not prone to nightmares, so this is a very distressing situation. I doubt she’s still feeling anything from earlier, considering she’s three and things that are bad tend to resolve in a few hours. “Did you have a bad dream?”

She shook her head, continuing to sob. I rubbed her back, moving to the rocker and making sure I could sit comfortably with her on my lap. As I gently rocked her, I tried to determine what could’ve happened to scare her this badly. My mind, however, came up blank, as my eyes grew heavy and I gently rocked us both to sleep.

***

The next morning, I woke when Eliza shifted on my lap, her blue eyes gazing into my own. For some reason this morning, in the sunlight, I can see how much like me she looks. She’s got my nose, my eyes, and she’s built like me as well: all arms and legs. It’s difficult buying pants for her because even the slims don’t fit her right. We get adjustable pants when we can, but that’s not always a good solution, either.

“Daddy?” she asked, her eyes still red and puffy from this morning’s fright. “What’s a ghost?”

I know surprise registered on my face at her question. First off how does a three year old know about ghosts? Secondly, why would she have (I’m assuming) seen one that scared her as badly as she was last night? If there’s a ghost in this house, it had best be Eleanor if it has to be anybody!

“Well…a ghost is a spirit that is looking for a home in the afterlife,” I explained but her face indicated that she didn’t understand. “Uhm…a ghost is someone who has not gone to the afterlife yet. They’re kind of a lost soul.”

“What?”

This is harder than the sex talk I think. Though I should, hopefully, have a few more years before the sex talk. I tried to think of a better explanation, then remembered that we had a children’s dictionary in the house.

“Eliza, honey, we’re going to look up the definition in your dictionary. Can you hop down?”

I started to stand only to feel that familiar horrible pain in my low back again. I think it’s this chair, to be honest with you. I managed to keep myself in check this time around, no screaming out in pain, just a hiss before biting my lip.

“What’s wrong daddy?” Eliza asked, turning to look at me from the doorway.

“Daddy just has a backache, honey. I’ll be okay in a minute,” I said, slowly standing. My legs were threatening to give out on me, however, and I sat back down. “Do you know what your dictionary looks like?”

She nodded and I told her to go get it and to get her daddy. How this kid keeps us straight, I’ll never understand. I made a bad pun, didn’t I? Oops. I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable in the chair, as I heard Jacoby’s familiar heavy footfall in the hallway, followed by Eliza’s light voice.

“Daddy has an owie.”

An owie…what a simple way to describe the pain I’m in. This is more than an owie, trust me. This hurts like HELL! I don’t know what I did, but I’m in some serious pain here.

“What’s wrong?” Jacoby asked, and I felt the urge to slap him.

“I’m in fucking pain!” I ground out, watching Eliza’s eyes widen.

“That’s a quarter daddy!” she informed me, her face serious. “That’s a bad word.”

“I think right now we can let that slide. What happened?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, biting my lip as I tried to form the words necessary to explain my situation. You wouldn’t believe how hard it can be to say three simple words when you’re in pain.

“I-I don’t know.”

Clearly, this confused my husband and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one having flashbacks to the night the twins were born. We thought the back pain was pregnancy related but I’m not pregnant now, so it’s down to a pinched nerve or a disc issue. Considering my line of work, it’s not out of line to think I blew my back lifting patients.

“Can you walk?”

I shook my head, knowing I was leaving Jacoby in kind of a lurch. He took out his phone and I managed to talk him out of calling an ambulance; it wouldn’t help, really. Finally, he settled on seeing if Anthony or another of the medics out by us were home. At least they could get me into bed and then I’d just have to stop sleeping in this rocker.

“What’s going on?”

I recognized the voice of Sean Pennington, a paramedic who’d graduated college with me. He knew his stuff and I kept trying to recruit him for flight crew, though he swore he preferred ambulance duty.

“Jimmy can’t move. He’s in severe pain but won’t let me call an ambulance. I thought if we could get him into bed, I could get a heating pad on his back and loosen him up. I’m going to give him one of his pain pills from the surgery, but they’re not very strong.”

Sean nodded, as I accepted the pill from my husband. With a little help, I got the glass of water to my lips, hoping this particular pill would kick in quickly. It had in the hospital, and sure enough, my pain started to ease. It didn’t go away, but I’d be less angry when they moved me.

“Okay. On three we’re going to help you to your feet. If you can’t walk, we’ll carry you and get you into bed.”

I nodded, noting that Sean had produced a gait belt out of nowhere. He carefully tightened it around my waist, mindful of the pain I was in. Finally, he and Jacoby took a side and slipped their hands under the belt, taking my hands and counting to three.

“Stand.”

I slowly stood, unable to straighten and took a few wobbly steps. Three steps from the chair, I whimpered and shook my head, resulting in my being picked up. With an arm under my legs and their grip on opposite sides of the gait belt, they got me to bed, where I was able to lay flat for a few seconds before rolling to my side.

“Thank you,” I whispered, as Sean placed a few pillows behind my back. “Thanks for driving down on your day off.”

“No problem. You’re a fellow medic and we’re all here for each other. Just remember that when my wife goes into labor in June,” he said and I had to laugh despite how uncomfortable it was.

“I’ve got the heating pad,” Jacoby said, and soon the warmth was spreading through my lower back. “Since you won’t go to the ER for this, I’m going to make an appointment with Dr. Mathias, got me? This is twice now and I want to make sure nothing is going on.”

I nodded, thanking Sean once again as he left the room. I heard Jacoby sigh and then call for Eliza to get dressed and go potty. I have no doubt that she’ll want to spend the day in bed with me, which is fine, but Jacoby won’t let her spend the entire day. She’s got little chores that she does for a small allowance, and those will need doing sometime today.

“Can I sit with daddy?” she promptly asked, no doubt remembering our earlier interrupted conversation.

“Maybe later. Right now, we need breakfast, you need to get dressed and Priscilla will be waking up soon. Go potty, get dressed, then come to the table to eat. I’ll be in shortly to help you.”

I realized, a bit belatedly, that I’d chosen to face the wall. I called for Jacoby and asked if he’d help me roll over. He agreed but I could sense some annoyance at the request. I chose to ignore it but I knew I’d caused just one more stress in our house. Once I was situated, he gave me one last glance, then left the room, leaving me alone with nothing to do but stare at the sheets.

Damn Jack, at least leave him a book or something.

Something had to go wrong though, it's all been a little easy (Eliza's outburst aside) for these guys lately. Hope it's nothing major.

I think it's the rocking chair...it might be time for a new one =). I thought Jacoby could've handled this a little better than he did, but at the same time, I can see where he's coming from. Priscilla being home, while a happy event, is also super stressful, and he then takes that stress out on the new stressor; in this case, that's Jimmy. Hopefully things will start looking up for them soon!

23

I can’t believe this situation! I know it’s really not his fault, but honestly! If he knows that chair has a previous history of giving him back pain, maybe it’s not a great idea to sleep in it anymore. I don’t want anyone to think I’m blaming him for the birth of the twins, but I have always wondered if sleeping in that chair triggered the events of that night.

This also means I’m on my own today with both kids which should be entertaining. On top of that, Jimmy and I were supposed to find a preschool for our daughter today.

“Can we take daddy some books?” Eliza suggested, as she made her way down the stairs with me. She’d dressed herself before I could get in there and let’s say she’s still developing her sense of style.

“You know, honey, bright green pants and an orange shirt with rainbow socks don’t go that well together,” I pointed out, as I grabbed Jimmy’s laptop which he’d left on the couch last night.

“What books will daddy like?” she asked, clearly unconcerned about her sense of matching. I shrugged, watching her pull books from her shelf, as I grabbed the book Jimmy has been reading. “There. That’s a nice pile.”

She was clearly struggling with the weight of the awkward pile, so I offered to carry a few of the books, and we returned upstairs. Jimmy was still lying on his side, though his eyes were closed and I assumed he was asleep. Quietly as possible, we put the books and computer on the bed, and I made sure the power cord was easy for him to reach. When he wakes up, he’ll probably be hungry, so I grabbed his phone from the nightstand and put that in reach as well. At least he won’t be bored today, I guess.

“Can we have oatmeal for breakfast?” Eliza asked and I nodded, closing the bedroom door once again. The pain pills also cause drowsiness, or in Jimmy’s case, coma-like sleep. I realize this is probably what he needs, but still I don’t relish being on my own today when we have decisions to make. “Daddy?”

“What!?” I snapped and Eliza’s lower lip started to tremble, which made me feel bad. “I’m sorry, honey, daddy is just a little tired today. What did you ask me?”

She was quiet, though, and I had to wonder what was going on with her. I mean, I know I scared her when I got mad for no reason, but why won’t she speak to me now? I watched her as we returned downstairs and as suspected, she ran into the living room and flopped into Jimmy’s recliner and started to cry.

“When you’re calm you can come to the table,” I informed her, deciding to check on Priscilla. She hadn’t woken up yet which is odd for her. I know she didn’t sleep well last night, but she’s still usually up by now. “I’m going to get your sister up.”

She was quiet as I moved up the stairs once again, opening our bedroom door and smiling when Priscilla’s bright blue eyes looked over at me. She kicked her legs and giggled a bit, a bright smile on her face. I wish I was in her place, with nothing to worry about in the world. All of her worries could be taken care of by Jimmy and I, and she just had to look cute.

“How about a new diaper?” I suggested, carefully lifting her from the bassinet. When she smiled again, I shifted her to my left arm, then moved out of the room and across the hall to the nursery. “How are you this morning, Little One?”

She kicked her legs again, looking around the bright nursery with wonder in her eyes. I wonder what her world looks like right now. Is it just a blur or does she actually see colors and stuff now? I know that babies eyesight develops as they age and that the first few months they don’t see much, but since she was a little early, does that change her development?

“Okay,” I said, as I finished with her diaper. I checked her O2 sat and heart monitor and then got her dressed, satisfied that everything was fine. Just as I picked her up, I heard a thump followed by a cry. I sighed, shaking my head, and moving from the nursery mindful of the several feet of oxygen tubing strung through the house. “Eliza, what did you do?”

She just kept crying, sobbing out that she bumped her head. When I walked into the living room, I placed Priscilla in her swing which made her cry as well. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to Eliza who was still lying on the floor in front of the couch where it was clear she’d been jumping.

“What have we told you about jumping on the couch?” I asked, picking her up and rubbing her back. I checked her over but she seems okay, just scared. She might have a little bruise on her forehead or something but she’s okay. “Now, since you’ve fallen off and hurt yourself, we’ll avoid a time out this time; but if you do it again, you’re going right into time out. Go sit at the table.”

Eliza slid from my lap, making the slowest, saddest walk to the table I’ve ever seen. I honestly had to resist the urge to laugh, because I know she’s upset. I know it hurts to fall off the couch and hit your head, but perhaps now she’ll have learned a lesson. With a shake of my head, I followed after her, making sure she was buckled in before asking what she wanted for breakfast.

“Oatmeal.”

“You could cheer up, you know,” I said, making a bottle. I picked up Priscilla, who was still angry, and put the bottle in her mouth, then balanced her in one arm while I fixed oatmeal for Eliza and I. It’s amazing what you can do with one hand, trust me. I do get a bit of a cramp in my wrist holding the bottle with the same hand she’s resting in, but it works. “I didn’t put you in time out because you hurt yourself. You should be happy about that.”

She said nothing and I shook my head, grabbing a couple of bowls. I poured the finished cereal into them and topped both with some strawberries we’d cut up the day before, a bit of sugar and some milk. I did see a smile finally appear on Eliza’s face as her breakfast was in front of her and warned her that it was hot.

“Now, what do you want to do today?” I asked, as I gave Priscilla a short break from her breakfast. I watched as her little hands started to push the bottle toward her mouth and I smiled; she’s definitely growing. “We can play in the snow, we could get out the art supplies, we’re pretty open here. What do you want to do?”

She was playing with her food more than eating, which I called her out on. A quick threat of counting to three got her to behave, and I asked her again what she wanted to do. She danced in her chair a bit, stirring her oatmeal and then pushed it away.

“All done!” she exclaimed and I shook my head, burping Priscilla before setting her into her bouncer, which we kept on the counter behind my chair.

“No you’re not. You only ate about two bites. You need to eat a few more before you’re done.”

“Can we play?” she asked, as I pushed her bowl toward her.

“No, but we can eat our breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry,” she informed me, pushing the bowl back once again.

“Well, if you’re not hungry, then you aren’t going to do anything today.”

She pulled the bowl back toward her and took two more bites before pushing it away once again. As a parent, you have to pick your battles, and I decided this one was not winnable today. I told her to go potty again, considering she’d drank the warm milk from her bowl. I’d need to get her a sippy started soon, as well.

“I don’t have to go to potty,” she insisted, and I saw yet another battle not worth fighting. She’s pretty in tune with the signals from her body, so she’ll know if she has to go. I’m starting to wonder if she’s getting sick, because she’s always extra naughty before she gets sick. “Can we play?”

“I’m not done eating yet. You go play while I finish eating.”

She hopped out of her seat once I’d unbuckled her and took off, making her way upstairs. I have no doubt she’s going in to see Jimmy, though she knows she won’t be allowed to spend the entire day with him. I’m actually hoping he’ll get out of bed later, once he’s laid on the heating pad for a bit.

“Priscilla, what has this family dissolved into besides one big ball of stress?”

Naturally she just smiled, though it might’ve been gas considering she didn’t really burp for me. With a sigh, I finished my oatmeal and put our bowls in the sink, scooping hers down the disposal. I can make Jimmy new oatmeal if he’s hungry later.

“Daddy!” Eliza called and I took Priscilla to the foot of the stairs to see what she needed. “Daddy J wants his machine.”

Of course Jimmy would pick today to have an asthma attack. I went into his office and grabbed the machine, thankful it was portable and not terribly heavy. I trudged upstairs to get his medication for it and wondered, perhaps foolishly, how much worse this day could possibly get.

***

Returning to work on Monday was a relief, to be honest. The weekend sucked; Jimmy was down the entire time with his back and the asthma attack on Saturday, which left me with both girls. Priscilla was angry the entire weekend, and I think she had a stomachache. Eliza was just a handful all together, sometimes happy and other times pushing my buttons to the max. We didn’t find her a preschool and I think she was happy about that, as Jimmy said she was very happy when Hank walked in this morning.

“Should Jimmy be here?” Sean asked, coming over to hold up the nurse’s station with us. It’s a slow day in the ER, though I’m sure it won’t last. He had the schedule book in his hands and I wondered if the new schedule was out yet. “He’s sitting at his desk rubbing his back and grimacing.”

“Probably not, but it’s Jimmy,” I reminded him with a shrug. “He got up and going this morning and said he was fine for work. I know he isn’t going to fly or anything, but I suppose he’s got office things he can work on.”

“Well, he’s got the schedule done, and I don’t know what else he’ll do in there. But I’m not letting him out of this ER, that’s for sure. He’s at risk of hurting himself even worse if he keeps this up. What did he do, anyway?”

I shrugged again, rubbing my hands over my face. “Fucked if I know. He slept in Liza’s rocking chair Friday night and woke up unable to move Saturday morning. I called Sean P in to help me get him into bed and he didn’t move all weekend. To top it all off, he had an asthma attack on Saturday morning, and left me with both girls neither of whom was in a very good temper.”

“Sounds like a shitty weekend,” he observed, sipping at his coffee. We are not morning people, but it’s better than working nights. “I almost don’t want to tell everyone about my weekend, considering Hollister’s husband was sick all weekend, Tony worked all weekend and is working today because Rochelle A called in sick. Thank god it’s not flying Rochelle or I’d be screwed.”

“Tell us anyway,” Hollister demanded, flashing Sean a grin. We all knew what had happened, of course, but didn’t want to ruin his surprise. “Cheer us up.”

“Okay, fine. Aaron proposed over the weekend.”

We all congratulated him happy that someone was having good luck in their life. He accepted our congratulations with a smile, never one to get overexcited about anything. I clapped him on the back, and then Hollister demanded details about the proposal.

“It was really quite a calm affair, honestly. We’re a good match in that respect. We were celebrating our third anniversary at Trini’s in the Old Market and he ordered us each dessert. That’s unusual for us, but we got them to go. As we were walking the Old Market, despite the chill in the air, we stopped into a coffee shop and had our dessert. While we were sitting there, he slid the ring box over to me and once it was open, he popped the question. Naturally, I said yes, and I admit to getting excited.”

“That’s awesome!” Hollister said, bringing him into a hug.

“What’s awesome?” a strained voice asked, and I spotted Jimmy coming our way, slightly hunched over and clearly in pain. “What did I miss?”

Sean re-told his story again and Jimmy congratulated him, then asked if he could duck out to a chiropractor appointment for a couple of hours.

“I’ll drive you,” Sean said, and I went back to get Jimmy’s coat. When I returned, I helped him into it, and then helped Sean walk him out to the truck. “We’ll be back.”

I nodded, once Jimmy was secure in his truck, then watched them go. At least this will mostly be covered by insurance, and I won’t have to worry as much about this. But it’s still yet another stress in our lives that we don’t need.

“Cheer up, Coby,” Hollister advised, as I walked back in. “Everything will work out in the end.”

I didn’t quite believe her, though.

I really hope Hollister is right about this

Hollister always seems a motherly type...and I know she's older and Jacoby was married once to her sister, but she's always such a mother in that ER. She's the one who always says it's going to get better, etc., and she's usually right =). Hopefully, she's right this time as well.

I have Lyra today (after a week plus away because of scheduling and such), so wanted to post this before we start our day =). We're going swimming!!

***

24

“I appreciate the ride,” I said, as Sean pulled up to Dr. Steven’s office. I don’t go often, but he’s always told me to get in at the first sign of pain. Since I was pregnant last time, I didn’t go but this time I’m not waiting.

“No problem. It’s not like you were going to be able to drive,” he said, coming around to help me out. “I have the ability to leave if needed and this counts as needed.”

I nodded, holding his arm as we walked inside. The sidewalk is a little slippery, so I made sure to be extra careful. I knew that Sean wouldn’t let me fall, but if I go down, there’s not much he can do about it. I, for one, will be glad when winter is over.

“Hey Jim,” Ann, one of three front girls in the office, greeted me. “He’s ready for you, so come on back. What happened?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I went to comfort Eliza after what I think was a bad dream and fell asleep with her in the rocking chair. That was on Friday night. When I went to get up on Saturday morning, I couldn’t move. Jacoby called a friend and I spent the entire weekend in bed with a heating pad and ice. I managed to get up this morning and drive to work, but I can’t sit at my desk anymore.”

“We’ll try to get you fixed up,” she promised, as she took me back to a dressing room. “The doctor wants you in a gown and shorts, hon.”

I blushed, knowing Sean was going to have to help me. As a paramedic and nurse himself, he’s seen patients with less clothing on in worse situations, but it’s still the fact that it’s my boss, you know?

“I’ll help him,” Anna said, and I admit I was a little relieved as I think Sean was too. We can put the weird factor aside because it’s the nature of our jobs, but it’s just easier if we don’t have to. “I’d advise not sleeping in that rocker, by the way.”

I nodded, as she helped me get my black boots off. Sitting doesn’t feel very good, but it’s the only way to do this. “Yeah, I wasn’t planning on it. This happened while I was pregnant, but I went into early labor and the babies came early. We though the pain was just pregnancy related, but now I’m not so sure.”

“We’re going to start with x-rays,” she told me, as we got the gown on and finally the shorts. “From there, he’ll see what he has to do next, okay?”

I nodded, as she and Sean helped me walk into the x-ray room. I saw Dr. Stevens as we walked down the hall and he looked worried when he saw me. I know that he’s seen people in far worse shape, but he usually just seems me for maintenance. I have a feeling today is going to help but I may feel worse before I feel better.

“Okay, Jimmy, stand here and we’ll get your low back x-rays. Can you straighten up at all?”

“I can try,” I said, as Anna adjusted the panels behind me. I did attempt to straighten up but once I hit a certain point, it’s all pain. “This is as good as it gets.”

“It’s good enough,” she said, and I heard the machine clicking and whirring as it took pictures of my back. Hopefully, the doctor doesn’t want too many because this is very uncomfortable and I’d like to lie down. “Okay, Jim, we’re done. Come with me.”

She lead me out of the room and Sean helped me walk once again, as we went into an exam room. There, it was time to wait for the doctor and see what sort of miracles he could work on my back for me today. Honestly, if I can just straighten up when he’s done, that will be enough for me.

***

An hour later, Sean and I returned to Creighton and at least I could walk upright. I was still leaning on him a little, but Dr. Stevens had worked me over well enough that I didn’t hurt so bad and I would be okay at work for today. He advised me against sleeping in the rocker (no brainer, I thought) and no lifting Eliza or any patients for at least two weeks. I can fly in a few days, once he’s convinced my back is good, but until it heals completely from what he suspects is a pulled muscle, no lifting. He asked, jokingly, if I ever had to lift the chopper and I told him only to clean underneath it. He advised against that as well and achieved his goal of making me smile.

“What’s the verdict?” Jacoby asked, coming to me as I headed for my office. He relieved Sean of me and we walked together.

“Pulled muscle. No lifting anybody, including Eliza, times two weeks, no flying for about a week or until the doctor is satisfied with my back. But it’s nothing serious, as my x-rays were good.”

“Good. Are you staying at work, then?” he asked, as I settled into my chair. I nodded, adjusting my position so I could be more comfortable. “Well, if you need me let me know. I just got in from an ambulance call, so I should be in for a bit now.”

“Will do,” I promised, returning my attention to the computer. I had some new employees to sort out and a schedule to finish. I was almost done but I had promised to have it out today. It’s hard, sometimes, to balance my job as flight nurse manager with still flying, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“How’s the schedule coming, boss?”

I looked over to see Rochelle standing in my doorway, suited up and ready to fly at a moment’s notice. I’m surprised the chopper hasn’t gone out yet today, but I’m sure it will in good time.

“Well, it was almost done until I got pulled off flying for a week and lifting for two weeks. I fell asleep with Eliza the other night and managed to pull a muscle just sitting in a damn rocking chair. So now I’ve got to do some rearranging and take myself off a couple of rotations. You’re able to fly 40 hours a week, right?”

“Yep,” she said, nodding. She looked at the schedule when I asked and pointed to the extra hours she was willing to fly.

“I appreciate it. I’ve already emailed the other pilots and as soon as I hear back from them, we’ll have a schedule.”

“Sounds good,” she said, as her pager went off. We both listened, and I cringed; it was a pickup in northern Nebraska for a child with bacterial meningitis. “Gotta go; get better soon boss.”

“I will, good luck with this one.”

She nodded, heading out into the bay, and disappearing around a corner to head to the helipad. I sighed, wishing I could go along with them; it’s barely been one shift and I miss my chopper. But the doctor was right and I should stay grounded until we’re sure I’m as fixed as I can be. Trust me, you don’t want me flying you in a chopper if I come down with back pain again. I can’t exactly bring ice and heat along with me.

“How’re you feeling?” Hollister asked as I wished I’d brought at least an ice pack with me.

“Better than I was. Somehow, sleeping in a rocking chair pulled a muscle. I know I’m talented, but that one baffles me. Dr. Stevens thinks I pulled it a while ago but aggravated that night. I’m supposed to alternate cold and heat starting when I get home tonight and just take it easy. I hate being grounded, but I can’t really fly right now.”

“I imagine not. But before you know it, you’ll back with your chopper, because trust me that flight team isn’t the same without you. What can you do?”

“Light duty, mostly, since I can’t lift either. I can help out in the bays, I can work here in my office, that’s about it. I’m generally useless for the next two weeks.”

“At least it’s just a pulled muscle and not something more serious.”

“Are you an eternal optimist?” I asked and Hollister laughed, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned on the doorway.

“I’ve been so accused before. I prefer to look on the bright side of life, I guess, so if that makes me an eternal optimist then I welcome the accusation. You might do well to be less pessimistic, you know.”

I thought about that for a moment; was I really a pessimist? I don’t feel like a pessimist and I don’t think I’m usually thinking about things in a pessimistic way. I heard Hollister’s distinctive laugh ringing through my office and looked at her once again.

“You think too hard about things, Jimmy. You’re not always a pessimist, but there are days. We all do it, hon, so don’t worry so much. I can tell you and Jacoby are going through a hard time right now, and just remember that I’m always here if you need me, okay?”

I nodded, as she returned to the main bay. But I couldn’t help myself now; she’d planted the seed in my brain that I was too pessimistic. I mean, I’m not Mr. Sunshine or anything, but I thought I was a bit more chipper than that. Either way, I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but now it’s going to. Given that my back was starting to ache, I decided to abandon the schedule until I heard back from my other pilots and headed out into the main bay.

“Hey—“ I started, but stopped when I heard the dispatcher speaking. Apparently, there’d been a bad wreck on Dodge street and all available units were being called out. My decision to quiz my co-workers as to my being a pessimist died on my tongue as every available medic ran for the ambulance bay and started out. “Good luck.”

Did you know that I become bored easily? Now that my co-workers are all out working, there’s nothing for me to do until they get back. Even then, I’m going to be limited in what I can do, so essentially, I am useless. I hate feeling useless, and while I realize it’s only temporary, it still sucks. With a sigh, I turned and headed back to my office, hoping I’d heard back from my pilots.

***

By the time I returned home that afternoon, my back was starting to hurt again. I can’t just sit down and ice it, though, because Hank’s been babysitting all day and he’ll want to get home. I wonder if I can talk him into putting a casserole in for me…I don’t know if I can reach into the deep freeze right now.

“I’m home!” I called, walking in the backdoor. Hank’s truck was in the yard, but I didn’t get a response. “Guys?”

Then I heard the familiar cries of my daughter. With a shake of my head, I shed my winter gear, then made my way into the kitchen first. A glass of apple juice and browning banana pieces were on the table, causing further confusion. Finally, I walked into the living room; to say that Hank looked frazzled and happy to see me would be an understatement.

“What happened?” I asked, seeing Eliza in time out and Priscilla taking a bottle. There were no marks on Priscilla and I couldn’t see anything that immediately suggested the need for a time out.

“Eliza is on her fourth time out of the day,” Hank said, smiling down at Priscilla. I nodded, sitting gingerly on the couch, trying not to aggravate my back pain. “I told her to stop spitting on the table. She’d asked for a snack, so I cut up a banana for her. She didn’t listen, so I told her the next time she spit on the table, she’d go in time out.”

“Ah. That seems reasonable to me,” I agreed, as the timer sounded. Eliza came out of time out looking foul, with her tiny arms crossed over her chest and her lower lip in a full pout. “You should listen to Grandpa Hank.”

“I’m going home!” she declared, stomping up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door.

“Well, isn’t she just a little drama queen?” I remarked, shaking my head. “What else did she do today to test your patience?”

“She tried to hit Priscilla but I was able to protect her. Then, she used a bad word and when corrected did not stop using it. She also bit me, so that got her into a time out with a tap on her mouth.”

I ran my hands over my face, feeling like a horrible father. Eliza was never this naughty, even during the so-called ‘terrible twos’. Sure we had some problems but nothing like this. I listened as Priscilla let out a champion burp and then took a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry I left you with Eliza, Hank. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

Hank shrugged, handing me my daughter. I knew that he had no more idea what was wrong than I did and even fewer ideas how to help her.

“Have you found a preschool yet?” he asked, as I gently rocked Priscilla. I shook my head as my hand encountered her diaper, which was in desperate need of changing. “I’ll carry her.”

I thanked him as I carefully got up from the couch and started upstairs for the nursery. It’s too bad the two bathrooms in this house are on second floor or I’d suggest getting a second changing table for downstairs.

“What could be wrong with Eliza?” I asked once Priscilla was on the purple wooden table. We’d managed to find a mat that was also purple to match the theme and I smiled as she squirmed.

“I don’t know,” Hank responded, as he checked on Eliza. “She’s in her toy room now, reading a book.”

“Good. Maybe some chill time will mellow her out. Did she take a nap today?”

“Sort of, as she was busy fighting that, too. She went down at 1330, got up at 1400, went back to bed and when she came out at 1445 I decided to stop fighting her.”

I nodded, lifting Priscilla from the changing table after resnapping her white onsie and replacing her jeans and sweatshirt. Jacoby and I don’t give two shits about sports, but someone gave her an Iowa State sweatshirt so we figured she can wear it.

“You know, I do have a theory,” Hank said, as I carried Priscilla to the playroom. Eliza was lying in the middle of the room with one of the giant toys she has, flipping through one of her many picture books. “Perhaps she’s been more affected by Penelope’s death than you realize? I know she’s only three but young children are affected by death as well. Perhaps she doesn’t exactly understand what happened, but is picking up on the stress in the home and realizing that she should have two sisters and only has one…maybe it affected her.”

I nodded, watching my daughter. She used to be so calm with the normal outbursts for her age. Now, she’s the toddler from hell and I don’t know how to help her.

“Maybe Jacoby was right about getting her into therapy. I just don’t see much point at this age.”

“Why don’t you guys do the therapy?” Hank asked and I looked at him in confusion. “Eleanor and I had to help Edgar out quite a bit when his sister died. You didn’t run off to therapy in those days. We used play therapy to get him to act out how he was feeling and we realized that he had some anger at the person who’d hit her. Perhaps you can try that with Eliza when Priscilla is sleeping. Maybe she has something to tell you but doesn’t know the words yet.”

“It’s worth a try,” I said, watching as Eliza wiped tears from her face, sniffling, then turned on her side and closed her eyes, drifting to sleep.

Nice one Hank, coming in just when you are needed as always. I think his idea is very sensible, shall wait to see what Coby says though.

That's what I like about Hank =). It's like he has a radar on these guys or something and he knows just when to step in. I think they are lucky to have him up the gravel!

***

25

Hank was still at the house when I got home from work and it made me nervous. Then I remembered about Jimmy’s back and figured he’d just stayed to help. We are never going to be able to thank that man for everything he’s done for us over the years; never.

“I’m home!” I called, after hanging up my parka and other winter gear. It was starting to snow and I knew a big storm was forecast for this week.

“How was work?” Hank asked, as I came into the kitchen, noting the activity going on. Jimmy was sitting at the table looking miserable while Hank got supper around. “Is it snowing yet?”

“It just started as I came onto the gravel from the highway. What are you making?”

“Jimmy started making pizza but his back was hurting too much for him to continue so I told him to rest and I’d finish it. It’s ready to go in the oven,” he said, lifting the large pan. It was laden with enough toppings for a small army, so I suspect Eliza had a hand in its assembly. “And on this note, I shall leave you to it.”

“Why don’t you stay for supper? It’s the least I can do after you helped us,” I suggested but Hank shook his head.

“I’d love to, but Edgar and the family are coming tonight and I promised them Eleanor’s famous taco casserole. Otherwise, I’d be happy to stay. Now, Miss Eliza, you be good the rest of the night, okay? I’ll be back in the morning unless your daddies are snowed in. Love to you, too, Priscilla.”

“Bye grandpa!” Eliza called, waving from her spot at the table. She was working on a puzzle from the looks of it, her tongue sticking out in fierce concentration.

Once the door shut on Hank’s retreating figure, I went to Jimmy and asked how he was feeling. It was probably a pointless question, but it was the only way to get the information out of him. He looked up at me with a pale face, his blue eyes dulled, and sighed.

“Miserable. I’ve done the ice/heat for this round, but I know it’s going to hurt at first. Dr. Stevens warned me that I’ll be hurting today and tomorrow. That’s why he won’t see me again until Friday. If we don’t get snowed in, that is.”

Jimmy snorted at that, then gestured to the TV, which I just now noticed was on. We don’t usually watch TV outside of the late news, but with the weather, I guess Jimmy decided to watch both news casts. We were both on to work tomorrow and neither of us thought ahead to stay in town.

“So, what’s the verdict on our snow?” the newscaster was asking the weatherman on channel 7. “How much are we going to get?”

“It looks like this system is a slow mover, so earlier estimates have been increased. We’re now looking at around 6-9” here in the metro, but as you head north, the amounts increase. Areas around Missouri Valley up to Sioux City are looking at around 14” once this is all said and done. It’s just started snowing but we’re looking at 1-2” in the metro over night and probably closer to 6” over night north of here. The winds should also be picking up tomorrow, so that’s really going to create problems. We’ll go over everything during the weathercast in about 10 minutes.”

Jimmy and I sighed collectively, as my phone buzzed. It was Sean and I opened my phone just as the timer went off for the pizza.

“I heard the forecast. Are you going to make it in tomorrow?”

“We’re going to try, but it looks doubtful,” I admitted, bending to take the pizza out once I had my oven mitts on. I placed it on the burners and closed the door, closing off the heat escaping from it. “How badly is that going to screw your scheduling?”

“Not too bad, since Anthony and Hollister were both off tomorrow. But Sean, you two, Rochelle the flier and Rochelle the ground medic, all of which live between Missouri Valley and Mondamin were all scheduled to come in. Just keep me updated and if it’s bad, don’t come in. I don’t want you risking your life just to get to work. And don’t make the argument about the snowmobiles, either; the wind is going to howl and you’ll never stay warm enough on the drive in.”

“Sounds good. I’ll call in the morning with our status, but right now I’m going to say don’t count on us.”

“I am already prepared,” he promised and then hung up.

“That Sean?” Jimmy asked, as I brought the pizza to the table and started to cut it. I nodded, filling Eliza’s plate first so Jimmy could get it cut. She seemed excited at the prospect of pizza tonight, and I hoped she’d eat. Her appetite is up and down so often anymore, I never know what to expect. “I imagine we won’t be going in if we get the wind they’re talking about. Six inches we could make it in but not with wind.”

“No, and that’s what I told him. I said we’d try, but if we get the wind yeah, I’m not going out there. We’re always the last ones plowed out and they really won’t bother if it’s windy. I just hope Edgar and them get home tonight; I know how slick this gravel gets.”

Jimmy nodded, accepting his plate with one slice of pizza to start. If he’s in pain, he won’t be too hungry, but I do want him to eat; I don’t want a repeat of last time.

“Have you taken anything for your back?” I asked, finally sitting down with my own plate. It was about then that I realized I hadn’t showered or changed and I felt disgusting.

“Yeah, Hank got some Tylenol down me, since I’m out of my pain pills from surgery. We finished them off over the weekend, remember?”

I nodded, taking a bite of pizza. It was very good and I found myself hungrier than I thought. Even Jimmy seemed to be eating well and it wasn’t long before we both had a second slice. Even Eliza asked for more, which I found amazing.

“Hank can cook!” I exclaimed and Jimmy nodded as he finished his last bite. “Damn.”

“That’s a bad word, daddy,” Eliza informed me, looking quite serious. I laughed and acknowledged that she was right, as I fished a quarter out of my pocket and deposited it in the ‘swear jar’ on the counter. We mostly used it for her, but around her we deposit in it also. She didn’t swear often, it was usually the pair of us.

I sat back down, figuring I could at least finish supper before I went and showered. I loved these rare moments when the entire family could sit down to a meal. Eliza was in a good mood, as was Jimmy, and no one was fighting or complaining. It was nice, to be honest.

***

Bedtime did not go as well. Eliza was over tired and it showed, as she screamed and cried, thrashing around when asked to sit on the toilet, then when asked to get in the tub. Once she was in the tub, she cried when Jimmy washed her hair and when he asked her to pack up her toys and get out. He even gave her extra time to play, thinking that would solve the problem but no luck.

“Eliza Eleanor Shaddix you get in that bed right this instant!” Jimmy shouted as she ran out for the fifth time in 20 minutes. She was crying and shaking her head, aware that Jimmy could not pick her up.

“I want a story! I want three stories!” she demanded, as I picked up her squirming body and hauled her back to bed. “I want a story!”

I closed the door on her crying figure, hoping she wouldn’t wake up her sister. Priscilla was doing fine but she was dozing right now and I didn’t want her awake before her feeding or she wouldn’t sleep tonight. Instead of getting my wish, of course, Eliza’s noise woke her sister. I sent Jimmy downstairs to deal with that and I took over toddler duty upstairs. I was determined to get Eliza to bed before 10 and she was determined to stay awake all night, apparently.

“Daddy I’m thirsty!” she exclaimed, once again coming out of her room. The little plastic covers over her footie pajamas scuffed against the floor as she walked, her blond hair drooping into her drooping blue eyes. “I want a drink.”

“No. It is bedtime, young lady, and you are going to bed. If you come out again, you will go into time out.”

She started to cry again as I redirected her to her room. I tucked her in, just about at my wit’s end with her. I’d glanced outside earlier and the snow was coming down fast and piling up faster. I knew we were going to get snowed in, something that occurred about once or twice per winter. Thankfully, we had propane heat so if we lost power, we’d still have heat and could cook, but we’d have no power for Priscilla’s oxygen. We do have a generator but if I can’t get to the garage to turn it on, we’re fucked.

“Daddy?”

This time, I said nothing as I directed my daughter back to bed. I hoped this would be the last time, considering she was about asleep on her feet. I closed her door and waited 10 minutes before going back downstairs. She was finally asleep and I sighed with relief, noting that Jimmy was feeding Priscilla.

“I’m going to go shower,” I said, and Jimmy nodded, giving Priscilla a break from her bottle. She was scheduled to see her cardiologist again in two weeks, and hopefully, we could put off surgery another couple of months. “I might just head to bed. Liza’s asleep and hopefully she’ll stay that way.”

“I’ll be fine,” he promised, smiling. I knew he was lying, but didn’t fight it. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I trudged up the stairs, knowing that Jimmy would holler if he needed me. I was just looking forward to a shower and my bed. The wind was starting to howl already so I knew we weren’t going in tomorrow. Sean texted me as I made it to the bedroom and told me to keep ourselves home with the kids; he had our shifts covered and we could work out trades later, when we were able to dig out. This was going to be a hell of a storm, and frankly, I was dreading it.

***

This weather sucks. Priscilla barely slept last night and because of Jimmy’s back, I was up with her more than he was. We really should’ve planned better for the storm, because he really needs something stronger than Tylenol and we don’t have anything. It’s too cold to go out on the snowmobile so we’re stuck. I’m using pain cream, heat, and ice on him and he’s saving our remaining Tylenol for bedtime. We’ve got groceries, at least, but it’s still going to be a long couple of days without power and with the wind blowing the snow around. It was still snowing as well and early estimates put us at 6” by 0700 with the day to go.

“Can I play outside?” Eliza asked, as we sat around the breakfast table the next morning. Priscilla was sleeping soundly in her bouncer and I wanted her to stay that way.

“Not today, sweetie. It’s too cold outside,” Jimmy said, bringing pancakes to the table. His back was doing a little better this morning, once I’d rubbed the cream on it, but I knew he had a ways to go. He was supposed to see Dr. Stevens again on Friday, but we’ll see what the weather is doing. This is only Wednesday, and if we’ve got to trade whomever worked for us today, we could be facing a weekend shift. I hate winter. “But once it warms up, we’ll be sure to get outside, okay?”

She nodded, and I waited for the meltdown, which never came. Relieved, I helped her with her food, then started on my own. The weather might be crappy outside, but we have plenty of activities for these days.

“Can we build a tent?”

“That we can do,” I said, smiling and was glad to see a bright smile on her face as well. Jimmy had things to do today as well, but with luck, there will be a nice long afternoon nap for this toddler, who barely got eight hours of sleep last night, considering she was up three more times after she fell asleep. “After breakfast, we’ll get out the stuff to make a tent.”

She clapped her hands, dancing in her chair, as she finished one pancake and asked for another. I’d like to think this was a turning point in her behavior, but like all toddlers, she’s a surprise at every turn. I hope today goes well, but there’s something inside me that says I’m not going to get my wish.

It's been a busy day here! I really should hop in the shower now that I've been gardening...don't want to smell at work tonight!

***

26

Being snowed in with two kids wasn’t as bad as I had feared. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but with Eliza’s moods and the constant threat of losing power, it’s fair to say that Jacoby and I had some valid worries. As predicted, as the wind and snow increased, our power went out. Normally we wouldn’t worry, but we didn’t know if Priscilla could handle a whole day without oxygen. We’re supposed to be trying lower levels of oxygen but we’re not supposed to have her go without until after surgery. Jacoby scooped his way to the garage and got the generator going, and we breathed a sigh of relief.

We entertained ourselves as best we could, thankful for all the books and games we’d invested in. Priscilla was a spectator most of the day, of course, when she wasn’t napping in her swing or her bouncer. We even laid her on her back a couple of times on a play mat we have for her. It has soft toys that dangle from it and she was happy to reach up and squeeze them, smiling when they played music. Eliza was nice to her sister as well, which I joked must’ve spurred the storm. Jacoby and I laughed for a good long time at that, while Eliza looked a little wounded at not understanding the joke.

“Daddy, I wanna go to bed,” Eliza informed me, as we finished eating a late dinner. It was nearly two, so the request was not out of line. “I’m tired.”

“I think that sounds like a great idea. We’ve played hard today,” I told her, slowly standing from the table. I’m feeling better, but I still need to be careful. “Let’s go potty first, okay?”

“Okay.”

She took my hand and we walked slowly up the wooden stairs, which Jacoby was planning to sweep while Eliza was down. She didn’t balk at going potty and finally, she was tucked into her little toddler daybed, clutching her teddy bear.

“Good night, Baby Girl, love you.”

“Good night, daddy. Love you.”

I closed her curtains and then her door and returned downstairs, as Jacoby was placing Priscilla in her swing for a nap. Smiling, I embraced my husband when his hands were free and kissed him deeply, taking full advantage of this moment of downtime.

“I wish you were feeling better,” he said, and I felt the bulge in his jeans. I nodded, as I continued to kiss him, wondering if we dared try anything right now. “To hell with it. Do what you can, Slim.”

I nodded, taking his jeans down and carefully massaging him. Neither of us are small, and the pleasure factor is much higher for us as well. I don’t know if that’s got anything to do with our size, but that’s what happens for us.

“Fuck, Jimmy,” Jacoby muttered, holding onto my shoulder tightly. “Are you sure you aren’t up for more?”

“I’m up for trying,” I informed him as we quickly shed each others clothes. “Let’s go.”

We made our way upstairs, and soon enough he was on top of me on the bed. Jacoby has a way about him, and he can pretty much enter me no matter how I lay. Today, he gently turned me onto my stomach, promising to be gentle if I promised to holler if things were too painful. We haven’t been this intimate since before the twins were born, so this should be interesting.

With no fanfare, Jacoby entered me, making me glad we kept the lube out of sight but in easy reach. He started slowly, taking care of my aching back and the fact that we’d had some time off. I, however, was impatient, as my fingers dug into my pillow, as I made noises I couldn’t make any other time if I tried.

“Fuck!”I cried as quietly as possible. I didn’t want to wake Eliza and have her walk in on this. That would be embarrassing.

Jacoby pulled out and turned me over, giving me the chance to return the favor. I was feeling somewhat better and am a bit of magician in my own right. With the same amount of fanfare, I entered my husband, mindful of my back, and most of all of the sheer pleasure on his face. I was careful with him, as he’d been careful with me, grinning at I finally pulled out and laid beside him, smiling, and turning so I could kiss him.

“I needed that,” he whispered, reaching over and draping an arm around me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good,” I smiled, with a dopy smile on my face. “I love you.”

Jacoby returned the sentiment as he smiled, curling into my side as we drifted to sleep. It was truly naptime in the Shaddix household.

***

“Daddy? Sissy is crying. Daddy?”

I blinked my eyes open momentarily confused as to where I was, though it quickly dawned on me. I also registered the sound of Eliza’s voice and my nudity. We’ve had quite enough questions in this house about nakedness and body parts, so I placed a pillow over my privates and rolled over.

“What’s wrong honey?”

“Sissy is crying.”

I looked into the bassinet and then remember that, in the heat of the moment, we’d left Priscilla downstairs in her swing. Eliza had probably been woken by the crying and I felt bad.

“I’ll head downstairs in just a moment, okay? Can you wait outside the room for me?”

She nodded, and I slowly sat up, flinching a bit. Perhaps that heat of the moment hadn’t been that good for my back, but oh well. I could hear Priscilla crying, so I grabbed my pajama pants and put them on, figuring that was enough coverage for now.

“Ouch,” I muttered, as I made my way downstairs, realizing now that I smelled like, well, you can guess. “Let me wash my hands and then I’ll get her a bottle, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll go talk to her.”

Eliza toddled off to the kitchen while I at least got my hands clean, wondering if I had time for a shower. It can be hard to shower with both girls awake, but I’ve done it before. I can wait until Jacoby wakes up, though, I thought as I put together Priscilla’s bottle.

“Daddy? The swing kind of smells,” Eliza informed me and my brow furrowed, wondering if the diaper was just that wet. “It looks like there’s poop in the swing.”

I frowned, hoping that our youngest was not going to choose today to get sick. If it’s just a stomachache or something we can handle it, but a quick glance outside has assured me that we’re stuck out here for a good couple of days, and if we do have to go anywhere, the snowmobile is the only way to go. With the below zero wind chills and the howling wind, I’m not taking either of my children on a snowmobile.

“It appears you are right,” I said, setting the bottle aside. I leaned down and unbuckled Priscilla, wondering how best to take care of this situation. Frankly, I’d be bawling my eyes out, too, if I was sitting in poop. “Can you get me a diaper, the wipes, and a bath towel?”

“Sure!” Eliza answered and ran upstairs, soon disappearing into the nursery. We had a somewhat open floor plan in that you can see all four doors from down here, which helps with Eliza. “Got it!”

I had to laugh as Eliza came out of the nursery, arms overflowing with just the diaper and the wipes. She set everything down on a little table we keep in the hallway and opened a hall closet to get a bath towel. I had decided that Priscilla needed a bath to fully recover from this, but we’re going to have to clean the swing as well.

“Where are you going with all of that?” Jacoby asked, as he came out of our bedroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Sissy is swimming in poop,” Eliza informed him and I burst out laughing with my husband, who took the towel from Eliza and helped her carry the rest of the items down the stairs. “She’s sad.”

“Well, I’d be sad, too,” Jacoby gasped out between laughs, as he approached the swing. One look inside caused him to blanch, though he kept laughing. “How should we go about this?”

I just shook my head not sure how to do this. It did happen once with Eliza, when she caught a stomach bug, but I don’t remember now what we did. Finally, I suggested that I lift her up and Jacoby wrap her in the towel for her bath. That way the mess is contained and I can deal with getting the swing cleaned up. Lucky for us the swing comes apart and this will make cleaning it that much easier.

“What’s wrong with sissy?” Eliza asked, as she followed me down to the basement. I figure I might as well wash this in the laundry sink, since the bathroom is busy at the moment. Besides that, the upstairs bathroom sink is too small for this and I’m not putting it down the drain. Thankfully, her poop doesn’t stink yet. If it did, even my strong stomach would be tested. “Is she sick?”

“I don’t know yet, honey. She might be or she might just have a tummy ache. She’ll be okay.”

My daughter nodded, as I started rinsing out the swing glad as well that tiny bodies don’t produce a lot of poop. She’s nearing 12 pounds now, but still, she’s small, and that makes this that much better. If this had been Eliza, well, let’s just say it would’ve been three times as bad.

“Does sissy have to stay in bed now?” Eliza asked, as we took the swing back upstairs. I’m glad it’s lightweight, or Dr. Stevens would be ringing my neck about now.

“No, she won’t have to stay in bed. We’ll just have to keep an eye on her diapers more closely tonight and make sure we change them more often,” I told her, hooking the swing back up. I glanced upstairs and saw Jacoby coming down with a clean infant, dressed in a new onsie with a smile on her face. “All better?”

“All better,” Jacoby agreed, reaching for the bottle. I stopped to think how long it had been out then nodded that it was okay. “I take it you were going to feed her when the poop explosion happened?”

“Yep. Eliza was trying to comfort her and spotted the problem. She woke me from naptime to let me know that Cilla was crying and then she discovered the poop. Let’s hope this is a onetime thing, shall we?”

“I vote yes.”

I smiled as Jacoby sat down in the rocker and started to feed Priscilla. She’s developed a bit of a touchy tummy of late, and I need to make sure we bring this up to her doctor. It’s probably just her formula or something, but I want to be sure. Babies with heart trouble can also have stomach trouble, so we want to make sure we’ve covered all possible reasons for the problem.

“I wonder if it’s just her heart that causes this or if it’s the formula,” I mused, watching my daughter take her bottle with apparent ease. She’s gotten so much better of late and I really can’t wait until her second surgery is done.

“Probably a bit of both. The doctor did mention that they sometimes have to change formulas now and again to keep tummies happy. I’m sure once her second surgery is done she’ll get better. I’m just glad she can eat four ounces in one sitting now.”

I nodded, watching as she easily sucked down the entire bottle and then tried to get more out of it. We’d gotten lucky in that we were able to increase her intake as we felt was necessary, since she’s doing fine outside of waiting for her heart surgery. I was glad, because she was clearly still hungry.

“Should I make her another bottle?” Jacoby asked, as she reached for the bottle, clearly disappointed that it was empty.

“Maybe just make her two ounces and go from there. If she’s still hungry, we can hardly deny her more.”

Jacoby nodded, handing her off to me and I had to laugh as her eyes followed him into the kitchen, her lower lip trembling. I did my best to comfort her, sitting her up on my lap so she could see that daddy was making her another bottle.

“It’s okay, Cilla, daddy will be back soon with more food. He’s got to make it first,” I told her, gently bouncing her on my leg. She cooed a bit and laughed, and I smiled, glad to see her happy. I’m sure life isn’t a piece of cake for her right now, but she’s not letting it bother her. Jacoby returned, shaking the bottle, and her eyes got bright. “See? Daddy’s got the food.”

She reached out for him, which was a new gesture for her, and my heart melted. It still amazes me that we created her, she came out of me, and she survived. I love my children equally, but I think there will always be a little extra piece of my heart for her.

Eliza being that nice to Cilla...yeah, I reckon this storm is the first sign of the apocalypse!

That's what our boys are afraid of as well, lol! Eliza: predictor of apocolyptici!

***

27

Jimmy and I survived the first day of being snowed in. I had a feeling, though, that this storm was gearing up to be one of those rare Iowa storms that starts and never stops. It turns out I was right as well, sadly. When we were still snowed in three days later and the snow was just starting to taper off and the wind to die down, I think I was about to go crazy. It’s the end of January now, and the storms are supposed to be slowing down, you know? But this was three days now even, and if my measuring stick out in the middle of the yard is accurate, we got hit with 18” of snow.

Yes, that’s 18 inches of snow. You know that Jimmy and I live on five miles of gravel, right? Once we get to the pavement, it’s still another five miles into town, so that’s a total of 10 miles before we can get into town. Thankfully, we went grocery shopping before the storm hit so we’re okay there, but the generator is running out of gas and I am going to have to make a run into town for that, at least. Sean has called to see how we’re doing and I told him we’re holding up, though rearranging our work schedules is going to suck.

“The lights flickered again,” Jimmy observed, as he made dinner on the third day of the storm. “One of us is going to have to go for gas soon.”

“I’ll go after dinner. The wind has died down, so it should be safer for me to go. I don’t want you out there with your lungs.”

He didn’t protest, as we both knew the consequences of him going out there. If he had an attack, it was going to mean taking him to Missouri Valley on the snowmobile, because it’s going to take us a while to clear our gravel. The county will come by, but gravel is always done last.

“It’s ready,” he said, and I smiled, glad that he was getting better as a cook. Hank had compiled Eleanor’s easiest recipes and called it Cooking 101, intending for Jimmy to be able to learn to cook from it. So far, this will be the third recipe he’s tried and he hasn’t messed up anything yet. “I hope this is good; it looks so simple in the book.”

He carefully plated the fried chicken, which was just pieces of chicken coated in flour and fried in oil. It was pretty simple and he’d cooked it carefully to avoid underdone chicken. I was looking forward to it, and watched as he placed some buttered noodles in a bowl. I called Eliza to the table and finally, it was time to eat.

“This is great!” I exclaimed, taking my first bite of the extra juicy chicken. I’d cut into the middle to check for doneness and was pleased to see that it was cooked all the way through. “Good job!”

“Thanks,” he said, blushing a bit, as we all ate quietly. Even Eliza seemed to be enjoying her food, and she’s one of those kids that won’t eat if she doesn’t like it. “Maybe I can cook after all, huh?”

“I always knew you could make more than roast,” I told him and right then I had an idea. I was going to stop at the little town grocery on my way home and get a few surprises. “This is amazing. Put a smiley face on this recipe!”

That was how we kept track of any recipes we liked or didn’t like. Sometimes, too, there was a smiley for one family member and frowns for the others, but it’s a good system. So far, of course, the Eleanor recipes have been a big hit, and a few I’ve pulled off the internet have been good as well.

“I’ll do the washing up,” Jimmy said, as we cleared the table once we were done eating. “That way you can get to town and back before dark.”

“I’m not going to be out there that long,” I promised, as the lights flickered again. I kissed Eliza and Jimmy and then dressed for the cold. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours tops.”

With that, I stepped out onto our porch, right up to my knees in snow. This storm had been a bad one, I could tell and I could only hope the generator would last until I got back. We’re lucky that we got a long running one but they all have their limits. I admit I should’ve gone yesterday but it was too dangerous; no one would be able to see me with the blowing snow.

“Here goes nothing,” I muttered, as the snowmobile roared to life. I backed out of the shed (we have two sheds one for winter and one for summer) and started my journey into town.

***

I returned around three hours later, after fielding a panicky phone call from my husband. The generator had run out of gas an hour ago and the portable tank for Priscilla only had about an hour on it. I told him I was getting back as fast as I could, as I’d grabbed some groceries as well, and tried to calm him down.

“Just in time,” Jimmy breathed, as I walked in. The lights were on again with the generator and he took a deep breath. “She just about ran out of the portable tank. I’m recharging that now and she’s back on her home unit. I will be so glad when that kid’s surgery is over and she’s done with the oxygen and the monitors.”

“Me, too,” I agree, placing my bags on the counter by the sink. When we re-did the kitchen we made it a little bigger and added counter space, which I will be forever grateful. “Eliza asleep?”

“Yeah. She went down around 1300 without a fight, so she should be getting up here soon. What all did you get?”

“More milk, some bread, eggs, rock salt, cream and just about everything else we’re out of.”

“Rock salt? Cream? Are we making snow ice cream?” Jimmy asked excitedly. Sometimes I’d swear I married a child… “You rock Jack!”

I laughed, glad I could cheer him up. I knew that money was tight, but sometimes you have to kick back and have a little fun no matter your circumstances. I was grateful for what we had and even if it’s going to be tight for a while, I wouldn’t trade my family for the world.

“As soon as Eliza wakes up, we’ll make the ice cream,” I promised looking outside. It had started snowing again and I sighed. “Guess I’ll set a bowl outside to catch the snow. I didn’t think we were due for another round this soon.”

“I checked the weather on my laptop earlier and it said another 2-3” tonight,” Jimmy said, helping put the groceries away. “I don’t think we’re ever going to get out of here. What’s the gravel like?”

“Impassable, pretty much. I can see a lot of snowmobile tracks on it, so I can guarantee no one’s been on it in anything resembling a vehicle.”

“Have any plows made an attempt?” he asked and I blinked; hadn’t I just said it was impassable?

“No, it’s impassable like I said.”

He shrugged and I brushed it off, figuring he’d just had a moment; he had those from time to time and they were nothing to worry about. His memory problems do this from time to time and he might’ve simply not heard me as well.

“What are we doing for supper?” he asked, coming over to kiss me. I shivered as he kissed up and down my neck, lightly nipping the skin. I’ve never been big on having my neck messed with but he’s got the touch. “Think there will be anymore poop explosions if we try again?”

“Daddies? What are you doing?”

“No, but there might be an interruption.”

Jimmy laughed lightly, resting his head on my shoulder as I noticed that he had a problem. I whispered in his ear that he should head for the bathroom and I’d tell Eliza about our project.

“Nothing, honey, just talking. Guess what I got while I was in town?” I asked, lifting her up for a cuddle. I could see Priscilla sleeping in her swing and walked over to make sure she wasn’t full of poop. So far, so good.

“What?”

“I got us the stuff to make ice cream. When daddy gets out of the bathroom, you can come with me and we’ll get some clean snow to make the ice cream with.”

“But I thought snow was yucky.”


“Not always,” Jimmy said, and I looked up, surprised. I mouthed ‘that was fast’ at him and he shrugged to indicate the problem hadn’t been very serious. “This time, we’ll use snow that’s nice and clean.”

“Can we go now?” she asked and I nodded, telling her to get her snow pants and boots on. Given her age, that will take her a little while to do. “Yay!”

“I take it things weren’t as bad as they looked?” I asked quietly, glancing at my husband’s crotch.

“Nope. We were just getting started, so I was able to calm things down quickly. Shall we get dressed to head outside?”

“Shouldn’t someone stay with Cilla?”

He glanced behind him and sighed, nodding. I felt just as bad; she’s just too young to be outside right now.

“How about you go with Eliza since I ran into town? I’ll stay with Cilla, as long as you wear your mask out there.”

He agreed in a second and ran to get dressed, as I fished around in the kitchen for a bowl big enough for the recipe. After much digging in the cupboards I finally came up victorious with a plastic bowl I’d bought just for this purpose. We’d dubbed it the snow bowl because it was white and held about a gallon of snow, which is exactly what we needed for this.

“Here.”

“It’s the snow bowl!” Jimmy exclaimed, his voice slightly muffled by the white mask that covered his nose and mouth. He had a scarf on, a hat, his snow pants, boots and heavy coat, same as Eliza. She doesn’t need the mask, but we’re thinking it’d only a matter of time before she ends up as asthmatic as Jimmy. “Yay! Let’s go, Baby Girl!”

I laughed as they ran outside, slipping and sliding on the porch and landing in a snow drift on their backs. I don’t think Jimmy’s back is ready for the abuse, but who am I to break his heart? I’ll just rub it down tonight if it hurts and help him with the heating pad and an ice pack if he needs it. In the mean time, I’ve got a camera and a bird’s eye view of my two big kids romping in the snow.

Snow ice cream? That's a new one on me...probably cos we don't get enough snow over here to make it happen!

All seems well in the Shaddix household at the moment. But I can't help wondering how much longer this can last....call me pessimistic, but these guys just don't have a great track record.

Trying to write a funny one-shot about these guys is also proving impossible. All was good and funny and then they got into a fight. *facepalm* But yeah, they don't have a great track record! And snow ice cream is the BOMB! We made it when I was in Girl Scouts and it's so good. I wish i could figure out a way to make it without milk now, because it's soooo good!

***

28

In case you were wondering, yes I’m going to pay for this but honestly by back feels better now. I’m following the rules of no lifting so I should be fine. I probably shouldn’t have flopped off the porch but it’s done now. Really, my back doesn’t hurt that much, I’m mostly cold.

“I’m cold, daddy,” Eliza stated and I caught her shivering out of the corner of my eye. The wind has died down but the cold air has remained.

“Me, too. Let’s get the snow and then we can warm up inside, how does that sound?”

She nodded, as we traipsed further into the yard. We finally found an undisturbed patch of snow and started filling the bowl taking turns piling the snow inside. When it was finally full, we made our way back inside, handing it off to Jacoby who had the camera around his neck for some reason. I imagine there will now be a million picture of Eliza and I in the snow for our families to see.

“You two get warmed up and I’ll get this started,” he instructed, taking the large bowl into the kitchen.

“I wanna help!” Eliza exclaimed excitedly and was out of her winter gear in no time. Jacoby got her a stool to stand on and by the time I had all of our coats and such hung up, ice cream making was in full swing. “This is fun!”

I had to agree, considering we haven’t made ice cream around here in a long time. We used to make it quite frequently but like so many things in life, buying it in the store just became easier. I think we need to return to a time when we made more of our own food because I actually enjoyed helping Jacoby bake bread and stuff in the early years.

“We should do stuff like this more often,” I commented as we mixed the ingredients together. It was starting to look more and more like ice cream and I swear Eliza was drooling. “Making our own food. It’s something Eliza can help with, after all.”

“It is fun,” Jacoby agreed, nodding. I watched as he placed one coffee can inside the other and placed ice and salt around it. Finally, he poured the ice cream mixture into the smaller can, sealed them up, then told Eliza to sit on the ground. He gestured to me to do the same and I nodded, starting for the ground.

“Oh…that’s not happening,” I said, as pain shot through my low back. I guess that deliberate tumble from the porch really did me in. “I guess I used it up playing outside. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jacoby said, as I sat at the table and participated with my feet instead. I could tell he was highly irritated with me but decided not to say anything in front of Eliza. “When do you see the doctor again?”

“It was supposed to be tomorrow, but I don’t think going to Omaha on a snowmobile sounds like much fun. Do you think we can get scooped out in time?”

“I’m willing to try. The road is really packed, though. We’ve had at least 15” out of this, and you know that the country trucks can move that better than ours. But I can try.”

“It’s okay, you know. I can reschedule.”

Jacoby nodded, as we rolled the ice cream around to mix it together. This process can take a while, but it’s more fun than placing it in the ice cream maker we have. Not that we don’t like that, it’s just that doing it kind of the old fashioned way is more fun. When Eliza gets bored, we’ll finish the process just the two of us.

“Are you going to be okay with not seeing him for a few more days? I realize you aggravated it tonight, but even without that, you’re still in the early phases of healing, Jim.”

I nodded, kicking the can back toward my daughter. “I’ll be fine. If we’re lucky, the plows will be around by tomorrow morning and we’ll be able to get out. My appointment wasn’t until 1400 anyway, so we’ll wait to call until late morning.”

My husband nodded again, pausing our game to check the ice cream. He resealed them, letting us know it was getting closer to done. I knew that Eliza would be excited to eat this when we were done and we’d have to weigh the rule of no snacking this close to a meal with her desire to at least taste our creation. It was nearly supper time and I figure we’ve got some leftovers to eat yet. Since we’re snowed in, we’ve been making bigger meals than normal just for the leftovers.

“What do we want for supper? There’s pizza to finish up and I think we have some of the goulash we made the other night, as well as a taco casserole. What does everyone want?”

“Tacos,” Eliza and I chorused and Jacoby laughed, shaking his head as he checked the ice cream yet. “Is it ice cream yet?”

He nodded, getting off the floor and sticking the small can in the freezer. Eliza was clearly disappointed, and stated such to each of us, begging for even one bite. We declined her, and she stomped off to her room, only changing her behavior when informed that she wouldn’t get any ice cream if she didn’t stop misbehaving.

“Well, it seems we all want the same thing. I’m going to put that pizza in the freezer because I don’t want it to go to waste,” I said, standing carefully. Some rest had helped, but my back was still angry at me. I don’t think I should go falling off porches again anytime soon, deliberately or not. “Is there anything else we need to freeze?”

“I don’t think so,” Jacoby responded, getting out and setting up the Foodsaver for me. We were running low on bags, I see, and quickly wrote that on our shopping list. We keep a running list on the fridge, held down with a magnet that says “it’s all about the food”. “Did you put bags on the list?”

“Yep,” I said, bringing the pizza over. I placed it in the bags and started sealing them, glancing toward the stairs from time to time. “It’s awfully quiet upstairs.”


Jacoby nodded and left the kitchen, heading upstairs to check on our daughter. It’s never good when she goes quiet like this, considering her penchant for mischief. She’s never gotten hurt or done anything truly awful, but after her stunt at the preschool, who knows what she’s capable of? I watched as Jacoby came downstairs, smiling.

“She’s just reading a book in her toy room. I’ll get Priscilla a bottle,” he told me, and I glanced over at our youngest. She was awake and kicking her feet, smiling a toothless smile. Her tiny hands reached for the toys dangling from the arch above her and I watched her yank one down.

“She’s getting stronger,” I remarked and Jacoby turned, shaking the bottle to mix it. He smiled when she waved the little tiger around, cooing and laughing. “I hope this surgery is the ultimate fix for her. It’d be nice to be done with oxygen and monitors.”

“I agree with that. Her nurse called while I was out, by the way. I gave her the update, mostly that there are no changes and she’s doing fine. She said as soon as the roads clear, she’ll be out again, then got upset at me, once again, for where we live. I damn near told her to cram it.”

I laughed, as I marked the bags and then placed them in the freezer. I suppose we forgot to mention, but a home healthcare nurse comes to see Priscilla a couple times a week. This is just standard procedure when an infant like Priscilla is discharged on oxygen and monitors. The woman’s name is Ardeth, and I swear she’s a million years old. I work with lots of nurses and doctors of advanced age daily so I’m not putting them down. But Ardeth…wow. She’s got ideas of how things should go and how dare we live out in the middle of nowhere with such a sick child. I told Hank not to put up with her attitude and I guess he’s put her in her place a couple of times. Priscilla is not really sick, she just came early and now she’s waiting for heart surgery.

“I would’ve. I’ll be so glad when we’re done with her. I’ve complained a couple of times but nothing has been done. If this keeps up, I’m going above this woman’s superior and getting something done. I’ll call again in the morning and see if I can talk to the next person up. It’s our choice to live out here and we’ve got means of getting into town if we need to.”

“Good luck with that. We’ve complained, Hank has complained and nothing changes. I don’t know if that old hag is pulling strings or what, but she needs to go.”

“Daddy, what’s an old hag?”

I laughed as Jacoby sputtered out a response to our daughter, clearly unaware how to explain the insult. I busied myself getting the taco casserole out of the fridge and warming the stove, leaving the explaining to my flustered husband.

***

We finally got dug out on Saturday. Yes, you read that right: Saturday. No less than four days after the big storm, the county finally got out here. We’re also seeing utility trucks out and about and we should be able to come off the generator here in another day or so. We first went to check on Hank, who was fine and was actually about to come check on us. We decided that we all needed to run into Omaha for supplies and all went as a group. This delighted Eliza, who loves any chance she gets to spend time with Grandpa Hank.

During our time snowed in, I noticed that Eliza’s behavior was fine. Not a single outburst, no name calling, no jealousy toward her sister, nothing. The parents of the boy she injured at preschool called to talk to us and while they were polite, I could tell the mother was holding back on us. She explained that he would be fine, and would be able to return to school in a few days. She also asked if Eliza would still be attending that school and I told her no. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to; I knew she was pleased as punch.

Eliza did seem sad when I told her about that phone call, but otherwise, she was an upbeat if cooped up child. I’m almost afraid to let her return to preschool and Hank has suggested waiting. He did remind us that preschool is not mandatory, just suggested and as bright as she is, we could just keep working on her at home. Jacoby and I are going to discuss that tonight, considering the cost of preschool and the fact that Hank is right: she’s just too damn smart for preschool.

“Daddy? Do I go to school now that it’s not snowing?” Eliza asked, as I got ready for work on Monday. The schedule is in turmoil right now, thanks to our little group being snowed in.

“No, honey,” I told her, listening as Hank called that he had arrived. I was leaving early since the gravel is still a little tricky. “Daddy and I decided that you don’t need to go to school right now. But, we will keep working on stuff here at home, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, smiling. I indicated that we should leave the bedroom and went to get Priscilla, who was chilling in her crib. We weren’t ready to transition her yet from our room, but during the day, we made sure to give her some time in the bed so she’d be used to it when the time came. “I don’t like school.”

“You’ll have to go eventually,” I reminded her, picking up my youngest. She’s getting chunkier of late, which is a good sign. The doctors have all been concerned about weight loss, but she’s gaining weight steadily. “Priscilla, you are getting big, young lady!”

She cooed and smiled, as we all made our way downstairs. It was eight in the morning and I needed to get going. Hank took Priscilla from me, tickling her tummy gently, which got a laugh out of the infant. To be fair, he then reached down and tickled Eliza as well, and I smiled as she squealed.

“Daddy has to go you two,” I said, kissing my daughters goodbye. “They both still need breakfast, I’m afraid. It wasn’t a fast morning around here.”

“Don’t you worry about it. Just get to work and I’ll make sure they’re fed,” Hank told me, placing Priscilla in her bouncer. “We’ll be good here. I brought some surprises for Miss Liza as well.”

That captured her attention away from my leaving, as I dressed for the weather, finally drawing a mask over my nose and mouth. A simple scarf no longer works for these super cold days and I didn’t want to start my day with an asthma attack.

“Here we go,” I muttered, and made sure I had everything I needed for work. Keys in hand, I made my way across the porch, down the steps and managed to slip and fall in an unceremonious heap right at the base of them. Grumbling, I pulled myself up, rubbing at a twinge in my back. “Have to make sure I text Hank to put ice melt out. Damn it.”

I arrived at the truck with no further incident, and got in, warming the vehicle before making my way onto the slippery gravel. I was glad that no one else was out right now, as I slid a couple of times, even with it in four wheel drive. I think I have a case of the Mondays and I’m not looking forward to it at all.

I'd have a case of the mondays too after being all snowed in like that. not to such an extent, but I know what it's like to get all cosy at home and then the ploughs come out and ruin everything by clearing the roads!

I'm with Jimmy on this one! Snowed in with two small kids for four days or so, then you have to go back to work. I wouldn't be too happy, either!

I know they have their rough patches, but they were really seeming like a good family during their little snowed in period. It's a little sad that it has to come to an end.

I know! I hope it can last for them, minus Jimmy being understandable grump with his sore back (I know how I am when I hurt). I want them to keep being a happy family!

In other news: I've got the spark of a new idea for them (third time's the charm, right? *laughs*)

Ooooh, awesome. I've got the germ of an idea at the moment for something (well, it's a scene), I just don't know what it wants to be yet.

Yeah, the idea is a whisper, but I think it's going to amount to something, maybe. Those two have been stubborn and silent, so maybe they're coming out of their shell.

Whispers are good, but they can quickly turn into shouting, so be prepared

Especially with these two, lol! I'll just put on my boxing gloves and see if I can survive another 40+ chapters with them .

I need to head out the door, but look for the next chapter sometime this morning!

29

Today has been horribly quiet, and I don’t like it. Quiet means we’re going to get socked later with patients and won’t be able to keep up. Jimmy is still on light duty and I caught him walking in, muttering to himself. His uniform pants were soaked, and he was limping a little. I confess I had to stifle a snicker when he looked at me, though he caught my amusement.

“What’s up with Jimmy?” Racheal asked, as my husband flipped me off and limped toward his office. I knew he had an appointment later with Dr. Stevens and I hope he gets good news. He’s getting harder to live with when he can’t do anything.

“I have no idea,” I confessed finally letting a laugh go. I can’t help it; he just looked like he wanted to strangle the clouds or something and it’s funny.

“He doesn’t look too amused.”

I turned around and immediately composed myself under the glare of my husband. Those couple of inches he has on me in the height department made him look intimidating right now. He simply thrust his coffee mug at me, and I knew better than to argue. I took it over to the industrial coffee machine we have and picked up the carafe of regular black. He liked two creamers in his coffee, and I added that next, carefully tightening the lid before returning to the nurse’s station.

“So, what’s wrong?” I asked, still struggling to keep a smile from forming on my face. He was clearly irritated but I’m sorry, I had to laugh.

“Just a case of the Mondays, that’s all. I’ve only fallen twice now on the ice. I told Hank to put ice melt out, since I fell at home first. This has made my back feel worse and I twisted my knee the last time. But please feel free to laugh at my misery. Thankfully, I had a change of pants here so I don’t have to go about in my snow covered ones.”

I nodded, though I didn’t completely feel bad for laughing at him. Oh come on! It’s kind of funny! No? Fine. But I still think it is.

“Be sure to tell the doctor when you go. What time is your appointment?”

“It’s at 1400, so I’ve got a few hours yet. I wish it was sooner, but what can you do?”

“Well, maybe the day will get better, then. At least the sun is shining,” I pointed out, trying to be positive. It was supposed to warm up a little, at least, and I was hopeful we’d get above freezing today. “Maybe we’ll have a little January thaw.”

He nodded, grumbling a bit and headed back for his office. When his door shut, I shook my head, still chuckling a little. I know it’s mean, but I think he’s being over dramatic. Racheal gave me a look, but I knew she found some amusement in this as well.

“I wonder what this afternoon is going to be like,” Racheal mused, resting her chin in her hands and her elbows on her desk. Her headphones which only covered one ear and had a black microphone to speak into, tilted back a bit, caught by her ponytail. “I like it when it’s like this.”

“Me too, but it means it’ll be hell later on.”

She nodded, taking a sip of the last of her coffee and sighing. Yeah, we’re bored but there’s literally nothing to do. I’ve helped with inventory both on the rigs and inside, the flight team had inventoried the choppers and even Sean admitted there was nothing left to do.

“What now?” Racheal asked and I shrugged, watching Jimmy’s door. “Maybe you should go talk to him.”

“Maybe so,” I decided, pushing off from the desk and knocking on the door. Jimmy gave the okay to come in, so I pushed the old metal door open and put on a smile when he saw me.

“Come to laugh at me some more?” he grumped and I shook my head, sighing. Okay, it wasn’t nice to laugh but I stand by my earlier statement.

“No, I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have laughed, you’re right. But you really did look like you wanted to strangle the clouds or something.”

He shook his head and I could tell he was exasperated. There wasn’t much I could really do, so I figured I’d just let him stew. I had just turned to leave when he apologized.

“Sorry. Did you want to talk about something?”

“Not really, it’s just boring out there, so I thought you’d appreciate the company. Since you’re still on light duty, I know there’s not a lot for you to do.”

“True. I’ve got the schedule done for now, at least, though it’ll be in flux for a bit until the doctor releases me. I just want the okay to fly again.”

I nodded, straddling a chair he kept near his desk for visitors. I know how I felt when I was on light duty and it does suck. You’re down to sitting with patients, helping with patients who just need someone to talk to them or keep an eye on them, and that’s about it. You can take vitals and check patients in as well, but again, that’s about it. Sean is pretty strict about light duty and really sticks to the rules.

“You’ll get it soon,” I told him, as my pager sounded. I have a feeling this is the start of the busy time in the ER. “I’ll be back.”

I stood and left his office, leaving him to stew. I know he’s hurting and in a bad mood, but he really could stand to cheer up a little bit. I shook my head as I headed for the nurse’s station and got report before heading out to the rig. We’d had a bit of a thaw and refreeze over night and naturally, no one could remember how to drive. There was a four car accident on 480, which meant it was going to be nasty; I hate freeway accidents.

Three hours later, I had my last patient checked in and I was right: it was very bad. One person died on scene and two others are hanging on by a thread. It’s hard when there are children involved as well, considering one was the same age as Eliza, and is in very critical condition. I saw Jimmy revolving around the bays, helping where he could; he’s lucky to have his RN so he’s more versatile. I’ve thought about getting mine, but I’m too busy right now with work and we can’t take on more student loans.

“Good work out there, Coby,” Hollister praised, as we came out of our respective changing rooms in fresh uniforms. “Hopefully everyone makes it now.”

“I hope so, especially the kids,” I lamented as we re-entered the ER. I didn’t even have to guess what was going on when I heard the shouting from bay six, then the alert overhead: the patient was coding, and I’d brought that patient in. It was an adult, but that didn’t make it any better. “Let’s go.”

Hollister and I responded to the code since we were closest, displacing the others who returned to help with other patients. Some would be heading into surgery, others to various wards around the hospital. I could only hope this guy would make it to a unit tonight instead of the morgue. I found out once we were on scene that a semi had started a chain reaction when it slid on the glaze that covered the roadway then slid into the other cars.

“Good job guys, he’s back. Let’s get him into surgery,” the doctor announced as we regained a heartbeat. I helped move him out of the bay and into the hallway, as we ran for the OR. Once he was in the safe hands of the surgical team, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and returned to the ER.

I spotted Jimmy moving between bays, all business as he put on his nurse persona. He would have a variety of duties to perform that still allowed him to stay within his chiropractor’s guidelines. Since I wasn’t needed at the moment, I sat behind the nurse’s station, logging into the computer and checking my email. We are allowed to do it when we’re not needed and as long as we don’t hang on the internet all day, no one says a word to us.

“How bad was it?” Racheal asked, swiveling in her chair to look at me. I closed out of my email and glanced over at her. “I caught some radio chatter from other dispatchers and it sounded pretty wicked out there.”

“It wasn’t pretty that’s for sure. One dead on scene and it’s touch and go for the rest. Four cars got slammed into by a semi that skidded on the glaze. He didn’t think it was slick, just wet, then foolishly tried to stop and yeah. So, we’ll see.”

“Did the semi driver walk away? They usually do.”

“Not this time. It was a pretty bad wreck, and he’s in one of the bays, though he’s in better shape than most of the others we brought in.”

She nodded, as her console sounded again. She snapped into work mode and pretty soon, put the call out for another call. There was another weather related accident and I watched Anthony, Mark, and Sean P run out the door. It was going to be a busy afternoon, I could already tell.

***

I finally got home at eight. Yes, you read that right: 2000. It was a busy afternoon and when the freezing rain started, the wrecks piled up. Thankfully, I have tomorrow off, because I am exhausted, as is Jimmy. We both ended up staying until seven and if we hadn’t had the day off or had had our heads screwed down tight, we’d have just stayed in town. Our anniversary is this week, however, and tomorrow if we can make it into town, we’ll have day one of our two day celebration.

I’m not going to lie; I’m nervous as hell about tomorrow. Our 10th blew up in our faces because of the weather and we’re looking at snow over night once it gets cold enough. It’s our 14th anniversary, but it’s looking like a repeat of our 10th weatherwise. I’m just afraid he’s going to have an episode, you know? He’s been fine of late, he had a good visit to the chiropractor today and his back is healing just fine. He’s not in pain right now, despite falling on the ice a couple of times, but I worry.

“What’s our back up plan in case it’s shitty tomorrow?” Jimmy asked once Hank had left and we’d checked on our sleeping children. How he got Eliza to bed by eight is beyond me, but pat on the back for doing it. Priscilla is sleeping soundly as well, her monitors not in distress, so we returned downstairs to split a couple of frozen pizzas. “Given how icy it was getting home and the forecasted snow, I don’t think we’re going into CB tomorrow.”

I glanced at him, as I popped the pizza into the oven. “Well, I suppose we’ll have to find another day to go in, maybe go in on Thursday instead of tomorrow. We can always have the mind blowing sex tomorrow night.”

“Works for me,” he said, smiling. I closed the oven door, looking over at my husband, not sure I was seeing this right. “What?”

“Well…you’re okay with that?”

He nodded, giving me a confused look. Then, his face darkened and I hoped I hadn’t ruined his mood. “You really think I’m going to have a repeat of our 10th anniversary? I wasn’t on my meds at that time, Jack. I’m on them now, and I’m stable, even Dr. Mathias said that. Don’t worry, it will be fine. I didn’t freak out when we were snowed in and I didn’t freak out when the weather started tonight. I freaked out a little on the way home, but that’s because I almost slid into the ditch. But that’s understandable,” he said pulling me onto his lap. He kissed me, running his fingers through my hair. We’d neither one had a shower, and we smelled, but we didn’t care. “I’ll be fine. I promise. It’s the hazards of having an anniversary in January in Iowa.”

I kissed him back, deepening the kiss, entangling my fingers in his hair. Perhaps, with as turned on as we are right now, waiting a day for the bulk of our celebration is for the best. If we were quiet, we could totally have sex tonight and the girls would none the wiser…Hank’s supposed to watch them tomorrow, but with the weather, we might have to wait until Thursday. No matter, we can do our thing at night instead. Or first thing in the morning. Or after we eat.

“Damn timer,” Jimmy whispered, pulling me in for one final kiss. “Let’s eat and then take care of this.”

“I agree,” I said, reluctantly getting off his lap and getting our food. I dished up two pieces each, looking forward to later tonight. I had already planned how I wanted to do things: shower first, then have sex the remainder of the night. After all, it’s our anniversary tomorrow; don’t we deserve to have a little fun before the celebration?

“I love you,” Jimmy said, smiling as he cut his first piece of pizza.

“I love you, too,” I told him, grinning back.

30

“But I don't wanna go!” Eliza screamed, as I wrestled her into my truck. Jacoby was already at work, Hank was here to watch Priscilla, and it was time for our oldest to start at her new preschool. Naturally, I had to get the most uncooperative child on earth. “I don't wanna go to school!”

Tears were pouring down her face, as she kicked and squirmed, doing whatever she could to stay out of her car seat. I finally got her contained, and buckled her in, leaning against her so she couldn't hit me. I wasn't prepared for her to head butt me, and my head throbbed from the impact.

“Eliza Eleanor Shaddix!” I screamed, as I finished buckling her in. I rubbed my head, looking at her tearstained face. “What was that for?”

“I don't wanna go!” she shouted again, and I sighed, slamming her door shut with a bit more force than I'd intended. While she cried, I leaned against the cold window and counted to 10. It had taken us two weeks, but we'd finally found a preschool for her in Omaha. It was a block from Creighton, which made it easier on me. “I don't wanna go!”

“Well, you're going, so stop crying!” I yelled at her, which naturally made her cry harder. A headache was setting in from her hitting me and I sighed, backing out of the garage. I didn't bother with music, even though it could've drowned her out. Instead, I concentrated on driving safely, since my anger could sometimes take over without warning; I didn't need to crash.”You are going to school, young lady. It's time for you to do that.”

That was a lame excuse, I told myself. The truth of the matter was that we wanted to socialize her, though I wonder at our reasoning right now. Does she need it? I don't think she does; I never responded well to it, according to mom. The kid isn't required to be in school until she's six anyway. I want to wait until kindergarten in a couple of years, but Jacoby insists on preschool. I don't see the point, since she's had all of that instruction here at home with us, but whatever. I let him have his preschool and he can deal with her on his days off.

“I don't wanna go!”

I ignored her, as I drove into the city. The drive takes around half an hour, but we left early so I can speak with her teacher. I figure I might as well be up front about the kid I'm giving them, after all. With a sigh, I took the exit for Omaha, thankful for the clear day. If our luck holds, February will be normal as far as temperatures and we can avoid snowstorms until December again. I doubt that's going to hold true, of course, but I can hope, right?

“All right, young lady. You get out of that car seat and let's go in,” I said, 15 minutes later. I was parked in the lot of the aptly named Creighton Preschool, as it was for employees of Creighton University and its affiliates. That also means it's free, and why we didn't know about this earlier, I have no idea. But we liked the offerings, and they can design a program for any behavior problem you might have. “Let's go.”

I unbuckled her, then held her bag as she climbed out; I think she knew I meant business. I took her hand, closed up the truck and then marched her inside, looking for the check in desk.

“You must be Eliza and Jimmy Shaddix,” a pleasant voice said and I turned to find a tall, dark haired woman standing behind us. “I'm Miss Annie, and I'll be Eliza's teacher.”

“Nice to meet you. Eliza is not very happy about being here, just to warn you. She's also been a behavioral challenge of late as well. She got expelled from her previous preschool for behavior problems. She pushed a little boy off a play structure and he broke his arm. She's also into biting, kicking, hitting, and head butting,” I explained, rubbing my head. “We've tried a variety of disciplinary actions, including taking things away, withholding privileges, and time out, but she's just not very receptive to anything.”

The teacher smiled, as she knelt in front of my daughter. “Well, we'll see what we can do here to help with that,” she promised, as Eliza took off her backpack. The pack dropped to the floor, and my daughter actually crossed her arms over her chest. “I'll have you go with Miss Abby here while I talk to your dad, okay?”

She nodded, but when the other teacher, who very much resembled my sister Kelly with long dark hair and a slim figure that matched my height, came for her, she hugged my leg and refused to let go, screaming and crying. I tried to reason with her, as did the other teachers, but she'd worked herself into a frenzy. I finally had to tell her to breathe, because she would only gulp air in between sobs.

“Liza, honey, you need to go with the teacher,” I told her, but she just held on tighter, unwilling to follow my instructions. “I need to talk with your teacher.”

“I don't wanna go to school!” she screamed and I had no idea what to do. I don't think she needs to go to school, but I can't just bring her to work with me, either. “I don't wanna go to school!”

I was completely at a loss here, as my daughter clung to me, and the teachers even looked flustered. I reached down to pick her up, wary of her head butting me again, but she didn't. Instead, she clung to me, crying and begging me not to make her go to school. What do you do in that situation?

“Honey, can you go with Miss Abby for just a moment?” I asked, hoping I could slip out unnoticed.

“NO!” she screamed, gripping my neck tighter and I was starting to choke a little. “I don't wanna go!”

“Honey, let go of me for a minute, please,” I choked out, and she finally released her grip a little. “At least go look at the books, okay?”

“NO!”

I don't know what to do, and her cries are getting to me. I want to give in, but I can't, because that sends the wrong message. It's not that Jacoby isn't going to get an earful later, but right now, she has to go to school. At least until I can speak to my husband about this mess. It's his fault, after all, that she's behaving like this.

“I want Grandpa Hank!” she screamed, and I really felt bad now.

“Who is Grandpa Hank, honey?” Miss Abby asked, and Eliza shot her a glare that could wither the hardiest of plants.

“He's my grandpa and I want him!” she screamed, lashing out at the teacher. I pulled back just in time, scolded her for trying to hit the teacher. “I don't wanna go to school!”

I managed to disentangle myself from her and put her on her feet, watching as she purposely fell to her butt. With a shake of my head, I hurried into Miss Annie's office, listening to my daughter's screams as she realized I'd sneaked away.

“I am so sorry,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face. “She hates school, and I don't know what to do.”

“How far ahead of other three year olds is she?” the teacher asked, looking over papers the other preschool sent over. “There is a chance that preschool isn't doing her much good. Some parents choose it for the socialization aspect it can offer, but I suspect Eliza does not need that.”

“This is a point of contention between my husband and I,” I told her and she looked surprised to learn that Eliza had two daddies. “He wants her socialized, but I don't think she needs it. She has an infant sister at home, though she requires extra attention because of medical problems related to prematurity. I think she's just a kid who could give a care about having friends and he wants her to be this social butterfly. According to my parents, she's me made over: the behavior, the advanced intelligence, everything. Mom tried two preschools and finally pulled me out. I don't want her to go to preschool, but Jacoby insists on it.”

The teacher nodded, leaning back in her chair a bit. “Well, the display outside my office indicates to me that she's not happy in school. Normally, I would advise families to keep trying, but in your case, I think keeping her at home is in her best interest. Without trying, she will socialize with other children. She'll do it at the park or the library or other places. I feel that, with as advanced as her other preschool indicates she is that waiting for kindergarten is not out of line.”

“That's my thought as well. I will speak to Jacoby today, if we get a chance at work, and if not, tonight when he gets home,” I told her, standing. I was late for work now, and I was hoping to make a clean getaway. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she said, opening her office door. Eliza and Abby were gone, though I could still hear my daughter crying. “We'll see you later this afternoon.”

I nodded, heading for my truck, hoping that Jacoby wouldn't scalp me alive tonight.

***

“She said what?”

This was how our discussion concerning our child's education started. I told him what the teacher had said after Eliza had gone to bed. She was exhausted and naughty all evening and we finally put her in the tub at eight and to bed shortly after. Now, sitting in my office with Jacoby, I repeated the words of the teacher.

“She's nuts!”

“No, she's telling you what I've been telling you since August,” I said, sighing as I sipped at my hot cocoa. It was February now and my birthday was in another week. I knew that Jacoby was plotting something, but he wouldn't tell me, of course. I was only turning 33, so it wasn't an important celebration. “Jacoby, she's not happy, I finally had to walk away from her while she was screaming for me to take her home. She's so far ahead, she's bored!”

“Fine. Take her out. But when she's socially awkward later on in life, you'll wish you'd listened,” he said, and left my office, practically slamming the door behind him. I waited a few seconds and then followed him.

“Jacoby, listen to me! This isn't very mature of you!” I informed him, as I caught up to him in the kitchen. He had a beer in his hand and I sighed, hoping we wouldn't be fighting while he was drinking. “Teachers know best, you know that.”

He whirled on me, and I thought I saw hurt flash across his face. “That might be, Jimmy, but it's good for her to be there. I know she's way ahead academically, but she's never around other kids. Sure, she's around Preston and Austin, but that's it. Priscilla is not a good playmate for her. I want her around kids her own age!”

“AND I DON'T!” I roared at him, and watching as he fumbled his bottle of beer. Thankfully, he caught it before it could crash to the floor. “She doesn't need to be socialized, Jacoby!”

“You know what, Jimmy? Have it your way! If you're so sure she doesn't need school, then have fun raising her later on when she's fucked up!”

He stormed off to his office after that, leaving me alone in the kitchen, stunned.